Disclaimer: You know that song "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth"? – Pure bull. All I want is CSI - I don't own it, so don't sue me, you crazy jackass!
A/N: Oh, totally forgot- this is before Grissom decided it was okay to get busy with Sara…-super evil hahahaha- to all you other shippers (I'm sorry, it had to be done. I'll kick my own ass later.)
"Greg, that…honestly, I…I, Christ, Greg, I don't even know what the hell to say to that," Catherine sighed.
"I completely agree, Greg, that's, well, it's...it's just…off." Nick supplied, shaking his head.
"I don't know, guys; I think he might have a point. Look at her," Warrick said as he pointed at Sara walking down the hall towards them in the break room. "She sure as hell ain't ugly. She sure as hell doesn't hide the way she feels about the guy. He turns her down every time she makes a move. I really think Greg has a point."
"Seriously, I just don't see it." Catherine sighed louder as Sara entered the room and headed to the coffee pot.
"Don't see what, Cath?" Sara asked, pouring herself a cup.
"Greg here seems to think…that…Grissom is…"she started laughing. "I just can't say it!"
Greg cut in, "I think Grissom is gay."
Sara dropped her cup and everyone broke out laughing, including Sara. "Oh, my God, Greg! Why the hell would you say that?!" she asked through laughter induced tears.
"You," Greg said while helping her clean up her coffee. It was his fault she dropped it, after all.
"I made him gay?"
"I don't think that's what he meant, Sar," Nick said.
"No, that wasn't what I meant. What I did mean was that you like him and he never made a move. That damn well outta be proof enough for any man." At Sara's raised eyebrow Greg added, "Jesus, Sara, look at you! You're hot! Legs for days, your hair, dear God woman, don't let me get started on your eyes. Oh, and that ass!"
"Down, Greg!" she said while moving away from him. "Nick, you want to take care of my light work for me?" she smiled and Nick moved towards Greg who immediately sat down.
Catherine spoke up first, "With the exception of Sara, I have known that man longer than any of you. I have never seen any…homosexual…tendencies from him. He always checks out the ladies. There was a case where we were backstage at a show; I had to tell him to shut his mouth. The man was gawking. A gay man doesn't gawk at the ladies, Greg."
"He does, however, Catherine, gawk at their shoes, hair and outfits," Greg added.
"So we are now at two points for Greg and no points Catherine. We need to write this down." Warrick did just that. He stole Nick's paper that he was using for a quickie paper airplane and made two columns, one for Greg and one for Catherine. He made the appropriate marks and they went back to the debate.
"Two points, my ass, Greg! What about Lady Heather?"
Sara cut in, "As much as I really don't like this one, I have to give it to Catherine. Greg, the man did go to a sexy dominatrix house. That right there kinda bitch-slaps your gay theory all over the room don't you think?"
"Greg, Cath and Sara both have a point. It was a dominatrix lady. We all saw him and Heather. He was hittin' that," Warrick said.
Before Greg could say anything, Nick cut in, "You three do realize that the rumors about Grissom going to Lady Heather's only started after the case where we found the male escorts?"
"YES, Nick!" Greg yelled and high-fived him. "Suck on that one, guys. Warrick, where's my point?"
Warrick looked at Sara and Catherine who both sighed and nodded in defeat. They both knew that Nick had a damn good point. There were no rumors about Grissom and Heather pre-dude discovery, so chalk one up for the gay theory.
"Great so now it's three to zip. Sara, where the hell is my help?!" Catherine nearly yelled.
"Don't take this out on me! I'm the one whose been trying to get the idiot out of his microscope for the last ten years that I've known him. Sorry if that's damaging to your case!"
"Oh, I've got it! Greg, what about Terri Miller? Date! They went on a date! Judy saw them, call her in here!"
"Why would I have her number?" he asked innocently.
Nick hit him. "This isn't about your love life right now. This is about Sara pining away for our possibly man-loving boss. Call your girlfriend and get her ass in here now, Greggie poo!"
Greg complied and three minutes later Judy appeared in the break room doorway. "Grissom isn't in here with an experiment waiting for me is he?" she asked nervously before stepping in all the way.
"No, Judy, he isn't. Don't worry," Sara said.
"Actually, I don't think he's even in the building today," Catherine reassured her.
"Probably loving up some guy somewhere," Greg said under his breath.
"What, Greg?" Judy asked.
"Oh, nothing, my sweet. Now, about why we called you away from your desk…"
Nick cut in, "We have some questions for you and we really need for you to answer them. Okay?"
"Okay," she replied nervously as she sat down next to Greg and Warrick.
"Warrick, what is that?" she asked pointing towards the tally sheet.
"Huh? This? This here is not a damn thing, that's what this is," he said quickly and slid it to Catherine.
"Um, okay then," she smiled. 'What is wrong with these people? Am I the only normal one in the room?' Judy thought to herself as she looked around the table and saw Nick, Greg, Warrick, Sara and Catherine all looking at her very oddly with huge, expectant grins on their faces.
"What are your questions?" she asked.
"Oh, right, the questions!" Sara looked at Nick as if to deem him the mediator of the group.
Seeing and hearing no objections, Nick accepted and began. "Okay, a while ago, as we understand it," he said while motioning around the table. "you were out on a date and, it just so happened that you spotted Grissom and a friend of his."
"Lady friend," Catherine cut in while giving a devious smile to Sara who gladly returned it.
"Um, well it was quite a while ago, but yes, yes I remember that," Judy replied.
Nick continued, "And while observing Grissom and his friend did it seem as though… they might have been on a date?" he said in a doubting voice.
"Oh, yes…they were leaning on the table and everything. Very close, indeed," Judy said while nodding.
Though it didn't exactly make Sara happy to hear that Grissom had been on a date with someone, it was rather enlightening to hear that the date had, in fact, been with a woman. She smiled at Catherine who held one finger up to Warrick, Greg and Nick, and it was not the usual finger one would use to indicate a scored point.
Nick gave Catherine a little nod that indicated his 'appreciation' of the gesture and continued. "What do you mean close?"
"Well, I thought they were going to hold hands."
Sara raised her eyebrows at this and looked like she wanted to throw something at…well, whoever happened to be walking past the room at the moment. Heaven forbid it be a little old lady or something because Sara wouldn't be in the mood to fake sorrow for the ol' bat. "Hold hands?"
Warrick saw this look and cut in "But they didn't, right?"
"No. He got a phone call. A page might have come first, I don't remember. I wasn't exactly there for his date, you know." She smiled at Greg, "Sorry."
"It's cool. It's not like I haven't dated other people before." He shrugged.
"Anyway, Judy, what happened after that?"
"Well, you could tell he was embarrassed that he was being called on their date."
"Why? How could you tell?"
"He was bright red and a little ticked. He wasn't exactly quiet when he sighed either."
"When he sighed? We all sigh when we get pissed," Warrick said, not meaning to help Catherine and Sara out.
Judy started again, "Sure we all do, but do all of our dates get up and leave us because of our phone calls?"
"Oh, snap!" yelled Warrick. "Our boy got dissed!" he started laughing.
Nick turned to Judy and smiled. "Thank you, Judy, you can go back up front now."
"You're quite welcome. Thanks for not using me in some creepy experiment." She smiled back and walked away.
"Grissom got dumped by Terri Miller." Sara smiled and leaned back in her chair, "That is seriously funny."
"Your man got dumped and you think its funny?" Nick asked.
"Grissom isn't Sara's man Nick…he's gay," Greg alleged while reaching over and grabbing the tally sheet from Catherine and waiving it at him.
Suddenly, the dim light bulb in Catherine's head got a power surge. "What about Holly Gribbs?"
"Grissom hit that?" Warrick asked with wide eyes.
"Mark one for Catherine," Nick said.
"No, you idiots. When all of that went down, the first person he called was Sara," she said while pointing at her. "He never once said anything about her to any of us. All he said was that he trusted her immensely, blah, blah, blah."
"How does that prove he isn't gay?" Greg asked.
"Look at her! You said it yourself, Greg. 'Legs for days.' There had to have been a hundred male students at that boring ass lecture for that man to stare at and 'trust'. If he was gay, then why in the hell did he go for her?"
"Oh," was the understanding sound that came from all three of the guys.
"I refuse to believe that Gil Grissom is gay," Sara sighed.
"Sara, just because you like the guy, it doesn't make it any less true."
"You three haven't even proved that he's gay in the first place," she countered.
"You haven't proved that he is NOT gay. Ha!" Nick laughed.
"Sofia," Sara stated simply.
"What about her?" Warrick asked.
Catherine stepped in, "Oh, come on! You're going to tell me that you never noticed that? The woman glued his friggin' bowtie! There was something going on there. They even went to dinner together."
"I have a question. A serious one this time," Greg said.
"Ask away, Greg." Sara allowed Greg free will around her sometimes.
"Did Grissom ever take you on a date?"
"No, he never did," she sighed.
"Why not? I mean, if he went out with Sofia and Terri, and possibly got a little from Heather, then why not you?"
Nick saw that the question was upsetting Sara a little and decided use that moment to help score some points for his side of the argument. "Maybe by the time Sara's date came around, Grissom had already realized he liked the guys!"
"Dude lover!" Greg yelled and Warrick high-fived him.
"Would you three have a problem with him if he was seriously gay?" Catherine asked, and at the wrong time too because it was apparently time for anyone else around the lab that needed a break to do so. This conversation just got a little less exclusive.
Well, I was going to just write on and on but I have things to do, people to piss off...you know, the usual. You know by now that I can't end a chapter to save my life so sorry about this! Anywho, this story wasn't even planned so I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but I hope you stick around!
Reviews are also better than two front teeth!
thegreatbluespoon----is proposing the postponement of Christmas until I get snow in Illinois!