Title: Snowballs in Sereitei
Rating: G, humour
Pairing / Characters: The Gotei 13
Word Count: 778 words
Warnings: None I can think of.
Summary: The shinigami have fun in the snow.
A/N: Written on the fly. Almost literally.
A time of peacefulness.
The season where the souls that populated Soul society could rest, sleep, and most of all, enjoy the silence of a world blanketed in snow.
A silence that was suddenly shattered by a very undignified war whoop.
'Get him! Madarame, go!'
Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni came to a halt, almost certain that he had not envisaged war whoops in his little fantasy. Rounding the corner, he was confronted with a sight more undignified than the whooping had been.
His precious centre court had been turned into a war zone.
Snow forts, some elaborate, some plain, were scattered around the centre court. Several shinigami, among which he counted at least five captains and their fukutaichou's, were hurling large snowballs at the said snow forts. Each attack was accompanied by yells of encouragement, of stifled fury, and shrieks of laughter. In the area between the snow forts, three or four junior shinigami were rolling with laughter in the snow.
Surely not. Surely his captains were not acting like children. They were dignified warriors, for heaven's sake.
Just then, the old man found himself pulled behind a wall of snow. Words of wrath forming, he turned to confront his assailant – and found himself staring into Shunsui's face.
'What is the meaning of this?' he spluttered.
'We're having a snowball fight,' Shunsui explained blandly, pausing to throw another snowball over the wall. A muffled yell told him that he had hit his target. Lifting his head, peered over the wall to see who it was, and winced at the sight of Kuchiki Byakuya with a clump of snow in his hair.
'Sorry!' he called out, not sounding sorry at all. 'Anyway, as I was saying, we're having a snowball fight.'
'I can see that,' the ancient shinigami said acidly, 'but what is the point?'
'War strategies,' Jyuushirou told him hastily as Rukia handed him another snowball. 'You could say we're… practicing.'
Yamamoto's eyes lit up. 'I see. And what is the object of this game?'
'To hit our opponents with as many snowballs as possible. By the end of the game, the team with the most points wins.'
Yamamoto placed his walking stick on the floor. 'How do I make these snowballs?'
Renji let out another war whoop, flinging a particularly large snowball at Zaraki- and missing, hitting Yumichika in the face instead. He rolled another ball and took careful aim, this time hitting Yumichika in the back.
'Why you-' Yumichika turned around, lobbing a snowball in Renji's general direction, and gasping in horror as it hit Byakuya instead.
Without missing a beat, the sixth division captain gathered up a handful of snow, expertly compressed it, and threw it straight at Yumichika who ducked.
The ball of snow hit Mayuri instead.
Sniggering, Byakuya used shunpo to get out of the way as a barrage of snowballs came flying in his direction.
'You imbecile!' Mayuri yelled after him, shaking a fist in rage.
Hitsugaya frowned as he searched for his next target. The ball of ice felt pleasantly cool in his bare hand, and it took only a moment of concentration before it froze over.
'That's cheating, taichou,' Matsumoto pointed out.
Hitsugaya grinned. 'I know. Aha!'
Jumping to his feet, he threw the snowball as hard as he could, hitting Hinamori in the head, knocking her over. Hastily, he bent down to scoop up another handful of snow and his eyes widened in sudden shock as two hands suddenly closed around his head and lifted him into the air.
'Take this!' Matsumoto hollered – and threw him clean across the court.
Hitsugaya's howl of 'Matsumoto!' followed through the air.
Nanao's eyes narrowed behind her glasses.
Taking aim, she threw two snowballs at Renji, and another one at Yachiru.
Hisagi laughed. 'You're good at this, Nanao. Tell you what: aim for Ikkaku next.'
Nanao shot Hisagi a look. 'Are you crazy? The snow will just slide off his head.'
Hisagi frowned. 'Good point.'
'I will only do this because it is the path of least resistance,' Tousen rumbled, hands fumbling in the snow. 'As justice guides my sword, so it guides my snowballs. TAKE THAT!'
In the sudden silence that followed, Komamura whispered 'you just hit Soi Fon, Tousen. I don't think she's very happy about it.'
'I will destroy all who stand in the way of justice!' Soi Fon screamed.
Tousen covered his head with his hands. 'You're right, she isn't.'
Yamamoto stared at the broken wall of their snow fort, and then looked at Jyuushirou and Shunsui.
'We lost, Yama-jii,' Shunsui told him carefully.
'Lost? Reduce all of creation to ashes!'