A/N: This is a little Christmas fic I thought up while I continue to attempt to finish the next 'Introducing the Chases' chapter. If you didn't read that though, you don't need to, to understand this. Juliet is Vince and Cordy's daughter... and that's it. Also, as a warning, the F word is used a few time (I think like 4.)
There was so much to do. So very much was left before bedtime. Presents still needed to be wrapped, she had to get ready for her parent's Christmas Party, and then of course she had to be the most fabulous one at the party. But Juliet had her priorities straight, and she knew what had to be done first. And as she did it, her mother watched on with pride. "What's she doing?" Cordelia heard her boyfriend whisper into her ear as they both watched their child cut something out of a magazine.
"There's something in one of your GQ's about the top fashion trends of next year. She's decided to cut it out and leave it for Santa, along with the milk and cookies," Cordelia replied with a smile. She loved it when Juliet's mother-inherited traits shined through the massive amounts she seemed to get from her father.
Vince stared blankly. "What?"
"She's leaving fashion tips for Santa," Cordelia repeated. "I remember my first time doing that." She received another blank look. "What? Girls in New York didn't do that?"
"No, no they didn't."
"That's sad. It's a good idea! And I'll have you know that my dad was the most well dressed man in Sunnydale because of it."
Juliet finished her cut out and then noticed her audience. She smiled and waved at them. "Look how good I did at the cutting!" she exclaimed.
Her parents stepped further into the room to examine her work. "Very nice," they both praised.
"Thanks! Now I gotta keep it in a safe place until it's time to put it with the milk and cookies."
"I'll hold on to it," Cordelia offered. Juliet handed her the article. "Now, can I help you get ready for the party?"
"Nope. I have to go wrap some things," the child announced.
"By yourself? Do you want help"
"Yup. All by myself. I'm five now, mommy, I can wrap my gifts. It's not like last year when I was only four."
"Yeah, Cordy, she's five now. What were you thinking?" Vince laughed.
"Right. Of course. But when you're ready to get dressed, I can still help, right?" Cordelia asked.
Juliet giggled slightly. "Of course. I may be five, but I am not as fashionable as you are... yet. Besides its nice to have other's opinions," she assured her mother, before taking off to her room.
Forty-five minutes later Cordelia was summoned to her daughter's room. The first thing that caught eye was the stack of gifts, and how they were oddly shaped gifts. She wasn't sure whether that was because of the interesting wrapping job Juliet did, or if the gifts were those odd shapes. Either way, she couldn't wait to find out what they were. She'd been anticipating the reveal since Fred took her shopping so she could pick everything out all by herself. "Okay, ready to get dressed?"
"Of course," Juliet replied.
Cordelia eyed the gifts as she removed Juliet's Christmas dress from the closet. It was green velvet. It had to be green, Juliet insisted when they pick it out. This way she could match Lorne. "So, what'd you get everyone?" Cordy casually asked as Juliet was putting the dress on.
"I can't tell you. It's a surprise."
"Well, you don't have to tell me mine of course. Just what you got everyone else."
"Nopers. Sorry. It's gonna be one huge surprise. So you'll have to wait til tonight like everyone else; including Daddy."
"Yeahs. I am gonna give everyone my gifts tonight cause tomorrow they're going to get gifts from other people so they might not get the chance to realize just how fucking great mine are," the five-year-old explained cheerfully.
"Juliet! I have told you about using the 'F' word!" Cordelia scolded, as she often does several times a day.
"Daddy likes to say it though," the child pouted. Once the dress was on, Cordy zipped up the back. "Do I look pretty?"
"Prettiest girl I've ever seen," Cordy confirmed, pleasing her daughter greatly.
"Can I help you get dressed now?"
"Do you even have to ask?"
"Double YAY! Since I am wearing green, I think you should wear red, so we'll match, but not direct," she advised in a grown up way.
"Then we can eat candy canes!" she said far less grown up.
"Candy canes are good," her mom agreed.
Later on that night, Christmas music played throughout the house while everyone mingled... and some fought.
"Why are you getting mad? It was a legit question!" Vince yelled.
"No, it was you, being stupid," Angel replied.
"Don't fucking insult me in my own house. I just wanted to know if you'd turn into a soulless bastard if you kissed under mistletoe, since you can't fuck anyone without going evil."
"I can have intercourse, I just cant have a moment of perfect happiness!"
"Intercourse? You fucking girl. And what's the point of sex if you can't have an erection?" Vince elevated his voice for the last five words of his sentence, to embarrass the vampire.
"Shut up, both of you!" Cordelia cut in and yelled.
"He started it," both men muttered.
Before Cordelia could scold further, she was sidetracked by a tug on her shirt. She looked down to find Juliet. "It's Juliet the Snowgirl!" Vince exclaimed, causing the little girl to giggle at the holiday-themed name.
"It's Daddy the..." she tried to search for a name.
"I could help with that," Angel muttered.
"Don't say mean things about Daddy!" the child exclaimed, hearing the mutter. "Daddy the Rednose Reindeer!" she added, once she reached a name. Cordy fought back a laugh.
"That'll do," Vince allowed. Juliet was pleased.
"Can I give out my gifts now, mommy?" Juliet asked.
"Do I get mine first?" Vince questioned.
"No, silly. Cause you're suppose to save the best for last," she explained. The actor smiled widely. Cordy coughed. "You're gonna get yours when daddy gets his," Juliet told her. She was pleased. "So that means I can?" Both parents nodded. "Great! Uncle Angel, I'll go get you yours!" With that, the little girl took off.
Vince shot Angel, a smug, superior look, "she's bright, isn't she?"
A few minutes later, Juliet returned dragging a big red bag behind her, clearly trying to imitate Santa. When she reached Angel, she rummaged through the bag, practically climbing in, to get the gift. "Ah! Here!" she proclaimed triumphantly as she handed the gift over.
Angel accepted the rectangle-like wrapping-paper covered object and opened it. "Ah... thanks," he replied awkwardly as he stared at the bottle of hair gel underneath all the paper.
Cordelia, who had been silently standing by, let out a huge smile and restrained laugh.
"No problem! I know how you feel about it, so I figured getting some would bring you holiday cheer. Which you need, cause you're broody."
"Am not," Angel muttered.
"You are," both mother and daughter corrected.
"I am off to go deliver more gifts," Juliet then claimed, before leaving.
"Have fun, baby," Cordy called out to her.
Juliet searched for someone fun to give a gift to. When she found Anya, that search ended. "Aunt Anya?"
"Yes, offspring of Cordelia?" she replied.
"Would you like your Christmas gift now?"
"Very much so!"
"Neat!" She pulled a soft package out of her bag and handed it over.
Anya opened it to find twenty-dollars as her gift; because she likes money. "Thank you! This is so thoughtful!"
Once again Juliet was off to give another gift. The receiver: Gunn. "Hiya! It's time for your gift!" she announced.
"Well, bring it on, girl" he smiled. He was handed a soft package. Once he ripped it open, he found himself the owner of a new black knitted snow hat.
"Its so your head won't be cold in the winter, cause you don't have hair," Juliet felt the need to explain.
"Cool, thanks," he smiled. She was an odd child, but a thoughtful one.
Enough with her mommy's friends, she had done three in a row. It was time she spread holiday cheer to one of her daddy's friends. Turtle's gift was the first that caught her eye in the bag, so it was his turn. "Uncle Turtle! Uncle Turtle! Uncle Turtle!" she yelled jumping up and down, as he was poring himself a drink at the bar.
"You haven't had any tonight, have you?" he replied regarding her hyper mood, rasing his glass.
"Never mind," he shook it off, "what do you want?"
"I wanna give you your Christmas gift."
"Christmas is tomorrow though."
"So? I'm giving it to you now! You should fucking be grateful." It was a good thing her mother wasn't around to here her that the 'F-Word' once again, and Turtle couldn't care less.
"I am," he obliged. "I am. 'Lemme have it." Juliet pulled out the gift and handed it to him. "Thanks..." he responded, slightly confused, as he stared at a box of Fruit Loops.
"They're your favorite in the cereal family, right?"
"Yeah," he agreed. "And, thanks again."
"You're welcome. Now I must go spread my holiday cheer to others. Bye!" Once again she was off in search of another person to give a gift to. When she came across her Uncle Johnny, she ended the search yet again. "Merry Almost Christmas!" she greeted, merrily, holding out her gift to him.
"Thanks!" he replied. "Awesome! Victory!" he then added in amazement, when he ripped off the wrapping paper to reveal an authentic, Viking Quest hat.
"It was hard to find," she informed him.
"I bet a lots being sold for the holidays," he told her.
"Umm... yeah..." Juliet didn't think he was right. But saying so might make him unhappy on Christmas Eve, and that would be bad. After all, the hat was unfashionable. And from what she'd seen of the Viking Quest DVDs he's made her watch, it wasn't very entertaining; not like Spongebob.
Juliet had spread a lot of cheer. It became high time for a cookie-break. After all, Christmas cookies were better than your everyday cookies. As she devoured and assortment of Sugar and Gingerbread cookies, all in shapes of snowmen, Santa and reindeer, she encountered more of her mother's friends. "Don't you think you've had enough cookies?" Wesley questioned, approaching the girl.
"It's Christmas though," Fred defended, standing next to him and making herself a large plate of cookies.
"Yeah, it's Christmas," Juliet echoed. "Oh since you're here now, I'll give you your gifts." With that, the two adults were handed badly wrapped packages.
"Thank you..." Wesley muttered as he stared at his gift; his very own copy of 'Spot Goes To The Farm.'
"Yeah, thanks!" Fred said more enthusiastically. She received 'Where's Spot?'
"Welcome. I know you two are the book-people, and they're good books, even I read them," she explained. "They're like, the only books I can read," she added.
"That's very thoughtful of you," Fred said. Honestly, she was a former fan of Spot, herself.
Up next, she wanted to give Connor his gift, a hockey puck, but when she found him in the living room, he was fast asleep. It was when he did dumb things like sleep on Christmas Eve, during a party, that she was reminded he was a member of the odd species known as boys. She hated when he actually acted like a boy. Knowing he would be cranky if she woke him, Juliet sighed and left the room. Tomorrow, he would get his gift.
Searching the house more, she went back to the bar and came across Lorne and Spike, getting drinks together. "Hiya guys! What'ya drinking?" she asked curiously.
"Nothing you're old enough to have, little bit," Spike replied.
"That's not fair," she protested, not even really knowing what alcohol was. She just hated being left out.
"Oh, now, now, you'll have plenty of time to argue that when you're a teenager," Lorne mused. "So, getting ready for Santa? Love the dress, by the way." he then changed the topic.
"Thanks! And yup! All ready. Well, I haven't gone to bed yet, which I will have to for him to come, and I will, but other than that, I am ready. I should probably get to bed soon now that you mention it!" she realized, as she became less annoyed with Connor for sleeping. It was the first time she ever expressed a desire to go to bed. "Here," she added, tossing each of them their gifts, "I hope you like them!" With that, she ran off to finish off her task, so she could get to bed and get her gifts quicker. The two demons received a martini glass, and a bottle of peroxide, respectively.
"You really never work, do you? Isn't Christmas Eve the biggest night of the year for elves, and here you are doing nothing as usual!" Ari verbally assaulted Eric as they were both getting food in the kitchen.
"Fuck off," Eric replied. "Sorry," he then added, looking in the direction of Ari's wife.
"You have nothing to apologize for," she replied.
"Who's apologizing for what?" Juliet interrupted, approaching the adults.
"The guys were just being silly and arguing, but it's over," 'Mrs Ari', kindly summarized.
"Oh. Did you "hug it out, bitch" yet Uncle Ari?" Juliet asked, making quotes with her fingers as she said 'hug it out, bitch', since it was an often-used phrase of his.
"Not yet," he replied. "Hey E maybe we should... let's find some mistletoe and do this festive," he inappropriately joked.
"Ari!" Both his wife and Eric exclaimed, eying Juliet.
"What?" Juliet wondered, not getting it at all.
"Nothing, J," Eric assured her. "So, what's up?"
"I want to give you guys your Christmas gifts," she explained. "You can have them, right?" she then questioned, suddenly worried, looking at the married couple.
"Why couldn't we?" Ari inquired.
"Cause, I just remembered that you celebrate Chanukah," she explained, butchering the word as she said it out loud. "It's not against the rules or anything, right?"
"No it's not," Ari's wife replied, amused.
"Oh. Good. That would suck. So, here," she handed out the gifts.
"Is this... a phone cord?" Ari questioned as he unwrapped his first.
"Uh-huh. Cause every time I've been to your office you always yell into your phone. So now you can give that cord a break," she told him, as if it was a deep meaningful theory of hers.
"Ah, thanks," he muttered. If anyone else had given that to him, he would've laughed in their face and deeply insulted their inelegance and maybe more. However, that would surely be the end of being Vince's agent, so he had to show a great deal of restraint.
Up next, Eric and Ari's wife opened theirs at once, to reveal identical gifts that needed no explanation; earplugs. "This is the single greatest gift ever!" Eric reacted, causing Juliet to beam. Making Uncle E happy was almost as good as making her parents happy.
"I'm sure I'll use these a lot in the house," Ari's wife added, "thanks!"
"What are those suppose to mean?!" Ari asked, less than thrilled.
"Um... I gotta go give mommy and daddy their gifts so I can go to bed so Santa can come," she said quickly before running off.
Vince and Cordelia had snuck off into a main floor bathroom for some alone time. "This is romantic," Cordy sarcastically commented.
"Well, you're the one who doesn't wanna go upstairs," Vince shot back.
"It would be rude!" she replied, right before Vince started kissing her... under the room freshener hung on the wall.
"Eeeeewwwww" Juliet squealed, upon opening the bathroom door and finding her parents kissing.
Both parents broke apart quickly, and mentally cursed themselves for forgetting to lock the door. "What you doing here?" Cordy asked, trying to be casual.
"I was looking for you two, and heard you talking in here."
"Is it our gift time?" Vince guessed, which made Cordy excited.
"Yup!" their daughter confirmed. "Here!"
Her parents opened their gifts to reveal a Barbie for Cordy and Ken for Vince.
"Don't you like them?" Juliet questioned, not being able to make out their facial expressions. "Barbie and Ken are in love, and are popular, fashionable, rich and awesome, like you two, I thought they'd be perfect for you."
After hearing the reasoning, both parents smiled. "They're great," Cordy said, starting off a round of complements from her and Vince.
Once they were done making a fuss over the gifts, Juliet decided to shock them both. "I'm going to bed now," she announced.
"But... I haven't made you," Cordy pointed out, as Vince was just speechless.
"Yeah, but I have to get to bed so Santa can come fast and I can get my gifts!"
Now, it made perfect sense. "Well, then, let's get you to bed," Vince told her.
After all the guests left, and the other house-mates went to bed, Vince and Cordy did their parental duty of playing Santa. "Who gave her the good gifts?" Vince questioned.
"Huh?" Cordy replied.
"The things she'll want the most/like the best, who'd you make them from, us or Santa?"
"Santa," she answered, as she nibbled on a cookie and placed a gift under the tree.
"Why are you letting someone made up take credit for the good stuff?"
"Are you joking, or just really drunk?"
"No, I'm saying, we did all the work..."
"Okay, you did all the work, why should someone else get credit. It's not right."
"Santa's suppose to be made magical and glorified to children, not cheap!"
"Neither are we though!"
"We got her good stuff as well, I assure you. Stop being afraid she'll like Santa better than you."
"Good." Vince went to grab a cookie off a plate on the coffee table, and noticed the GQ article from before, was next to the plate. A shirt caught his eye, "hey, how do you think I'd look in this...?"
Cordy smiled, "told you it's a good idea!"
A/N: Hope that was enjoyable! Happy Holidays.