Deleted, Extended and Alternate Scenes
This is a collection of scenes I cut from the story or alternate scenes that show a different direction I was once planning on taking...
"It wasn't your fault"
This scene is pretty much the same as in the story. There's just a little variation in the final paragraphs
The tabloids would make it quite the scandal had they known that since moving Jude had spent more time sleeping in Tommy's bed, with Tommy, then in her own. But then tabloids had absolutely no perception or understanding of an innocent, platonic relationship. Though she had to admit she didn't mind this spooning position they'd adopted in their sleep one bit.
She lay there silently, watching as the dawn sunlight began to stream in through the window. The light it cast began to creep from the floor and up over the bed as time passed. Eventually it bathed them both in golden sunlight and Tommy began to stir.
"Hey," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"Hey," she whispered back.
He noticed how close he was holding her suddenly and for fear of making her uncomfortable, quickly let go. "Did you sleep okay?" he asked as he shifted to the other side of the bed.
She rolled onto her side to gaze at him. "I'm fine. Are you?"
His eyes drifted to the ceiling as he sighed heavily, "It's too early for this conversation."
"I don't think the time of the day, the weather, setting or temperature really does much to help with tough conversations," she remarked with a sad shrug, "I just want to help you, Tommy. If you don't want to talk about what happened then we don't have to. Just let me be here for you the way you have been for me."
"It's not true," he whispered, so softly she wasn't sure he'd spoken at all, "what he said. At least I don't think it's true," he covered his eyes with his hands, his voice shaking and so very small, "…I don't want to think it's true."
"Tommy," she said softly, shaking her head slightly.
"No, I need to do this," his voice was firm. "I just want it to be over." He sat up and reached for his wallet on the bedside table. With shaking his hands he took out the old tattered letter. He handed it to her silently, his eyes not meeting hers. As Jude read the letter he gazed out the window. Other then blinking once or twice he didn't move once.
Jude read the letter twice. Her eyes skimming over the words, seeing the shaky handwriting, the tears stains – tears that could have been either Linda's or Tommy's. She imagined the terrified young girl writing the hasty letter, pleading with the brother she idolized for help.
"Linda was your sister," she whispered. It was more of a statement, a realization, rather then a question.
He nodded as he took the letter back from her and returned it to his wallet. "She sent me this letter a few months after I left home, about a year before I joined Boyz Attack. I went home to get her straight away. We didn't think Dad would be home from work for another hour or so but he came home early. He'd had a few drinks and he flew into a rage like he always did. I shoved him away from Linda and he punched me."
Tears pooled in Jude's eyes. She inched closer to him and put her hand on his. He twisted his hand around so he was holding hers in the palm of his and squeezed it tightly.
"He hit me a few times but I managed to get out of there somehow. Linda was waiting for me in the car. I was so scared that he'd follow me that… I drove faster… then I should have. Something went wrong at an intersection. I didn't see the truck. He'd missed the stop sign and drove straight into my car, on Linda's side." He stopped, his voice dissolving into tears.
Jude wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. If there were some way to take his pain away and bear it herself she would have in that moment.
"They think she died on impact. The Doctor's insisted she wouldn't have felt anything but that didn't mean anything at the time," he brushed his tears away with the back of his hand and set his jaw grimly. "They took me to the hospital; I had a few broken bones and some pretty bad cuts. It's how I got this scar," he motioned to his forehead. "The cops tested me. I'd had a beer earlier but I wasn't over the limit. They said it didn't factor into the accident at all but Dad never cared. The entire time I was so terrified that he was going to show up. I just knew that if he got into my hospital room that it would be it, he wouldn't hurt me, he'd kill me. But he never showed up. Yesterday was the first time I'd seen him since."
"It wasn't your fault, Tommy, it wasn't," Jude shook her head emphatically. She placed the palm of her hands on the side of his face and moved so that she was looking into his eyes, "it wasn't." She repeated.
He shook his head. "I should have called the police and told them what was going. I should have called Child Welfare or something. I just charged in there, telling myself it could be contained, that I could help her. I was going to bring her back to Toronto with me." He shook his head, "Such a stupid idea. I would have been arrested. I don't know what I was thinking but if I hadn't done what I did, she'd still be here today."
"You did what she asked you to do, Tommy. She didn't want any of that, she just wanted you. She would have been so happy to see you. I know." she smiled shakily as she stroked the side of his face, "You were a good brother."
She leaned forward and kissed his cheek, her lips brushing the tears away. She repeated the process on the other cheek, her lips following the trail of tears down his cheek before accidentally and innocently brushing across the corner of his lips. She felt her heart bounce in her chest at the contact and froze, still kneeling in front of him. She suddenly felt so young and ignorant; like she'd committed some crime she didn't even understand and now awaited the consequences of the actions.
His eyes fluttered open to meet hers and for a second she allowed herself to gaze into their depths before closing her own eyes and gently pressing her lips to his. This time it was intentional and her soft lips caressed his in a manner that was strangely not sexual, instead comforting, as if speaking the simple words that somehow seemed too small when spoken; 'you're not alone and I care.'
She felt his whole body begin to shake as he finally gave into the pain and heartache he'd been running away from for so long. She pulled back, and wrapped her arms around him, holding him to her tightly.
When emotions are suppressed over time, the energy behind them is compacted under intense pressure. But unlike coal turning to diamonds, nothing beautiful comes from the evasion. As Tommy released the pent up emotions from his past it was like a freight train ripping through him, through the very room and for a moment it's as if all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. There's was an overwhelming, unbearable physical pain invading every inch of his body and a feeling of pure panic that washed over and overwhelmed him. He screamed, forcing out the panic, forcing out the anger and momentarily terrifying the girl holding him.
The first step is always the hardest but also the most rewarding.
A fight over Justin
scene was originally written when Justin was first introduced.
Original plans where for Jude's and Justin's relationship to
progress to a degree where they were almost dating, as shown in the
scene… In this scene Tommy is confronting Jude about her
relationship with Justin and the threat it causes them.
In this scene Tommy is confronting Jude about her relationship with Justin and the threat it causes them.
"So exactly what do you plan on doing?" He asked. "The two of you are practically dating! You know Darius is talking about holding a press conference and going public about your pregnancy right? You know that little thing where we say the baby is ours! The papers are already talking about you and Justin and rumors of you dating; which come to think of it is probably exactly what he wants."
Jude rolled her eyes.
"What are they going to say when they're told you're having my baby and dating him?"
She pushed away from the wall, "So that's it! You're worried about your reputation?"
Anger blazed in his eyes as he turned and kicked a nearby dumpster before spinning back to face her, "I'm worried about you! Do you think I'd have done any of this to begin with if I was worried about my reputation?"
Her gazed dropped at the truth of his words, "Sorry."
He ran a hand through his hair, sighing in frustration, "Seriously, Jude. What do you want? Do you want to change the plan and actually go public with the truth? Tell everyone you got drunk at a party – underage, and slept with some random stranger?"
She glared at him as she shook her head, "I don't know."
"You know, you don't even really remember what happened, so much of this you're taking Justin at his word for." He pointed out softly.
She shook her head, "No, it's him. She looks like him."
Tommy frowned, "Who?"
Jude's eyes widened as she realized the remark she'd made. She sighed as she sat down on the stairs and Tommy sat beside her, "I had this dream awhile ago, over Christmas about my daughter and this little boy. The girl looked like Justin, a lot."
Tommy was silent for a moment as he mulled it over, "So that was before you met Justin?"
"You said there was a little boy too. So in the dream you'd had two kids with him?"
Jude shook her head, frowning slightly, "No, the boy didn't look like Justin at all…"
Darius confronts Tommy
This scene was written during chapter three and originally the first time Darius learned of Jude and Tommy living together. As the story progressed the scenes with Darius' discovery got delayed and then the circumstances of his discovery changed.
Tommy was scribbling over some lyrics in Studio B while waiting for a late musical artist to arrive for work. Kwest entered the room with an oversized sandwich and nodded a greeting.
Jude had attended school for the day. He'd had to apply a little pressure to get her to do so and for the first time felt himself relating with his mother and the nightmare she'd had trying to get him to attend school. Jude was concerned she'd get ill but he pointed out her morning sickness usually passed by 9am. She looked surprised and maybe even a little alarmed that he'd worked out the schedule.
Tommy glanced through to the G-Major foyer in search of his artist but instead noticed a disgruntled Darius headed his way.
"Kind of reminds you of going to the Principal's office, huh?" Kwest asked, observing Tommy's alarmed expression.
"Tom, Where's Jude?" Darius asked when he entered the room.
Tommy shrugged, "Why should I know?" Noticing Darius' unimpressed expression he added, "But my guess would be school?"
Darius frowned, "I went round to her parents place yesterday afternoon to discuss some career points with them and Jude-"
Tommy felt his blood run cold.
"And they said she was no longer living with them" Darius continued, "They didn't say much more other then that I should probably talk to you, 'given the circumstances'"
Kwest shot him a questioning look and Tommy shrugged, "I guess they just figured I'd know where she's staying since we work together. Maybe you should ask Spied? She's probably been staying at their rehearsal space."
Darius stared at Tommy who was too scared to look away, "You know something" Darius declared.
"Don't mess with me T!"
Realizing he couldn't put it off any longer Tommy nodded slightly, "Ok, I do but I can't discuss it with you now"
"Then when?" Darius yelled, his anger boiling over.
"When Jude gets here. She's coming in after school"
"Be at my office the moment she arrives," and with that he left the studio, slamming the door as he did so.
"Damn Tom! What's going on?" Kwest asked.
"It's complicated" Tommy responded quietly, his gaze focused on a knob on the soundboard and anywhere but his friends questioning gaze.
"Obviously! Do you know where Jude's staying?"
Tommy sighed, "With me"
Kwest swore softly as he slid his chair back till he was facing Tommy, "Tom! She's seventeen!"
Tommy didn't answer,
"Because her parents kicked her out"
"Why did they kick her out"
"What is this? Twenty questions?"
"No, this is your friend trying to find out what trouble your stupid ass got itself into this time!" Kwest responded without missing a beat.
"She's staying with me because she's pregnant and her parents kicked her out, ok?" Tommy responded in a flurry of mumbled words.
Kwest's jaw dropped and had it been for any other reason Tommy would have chuckled at the stunned expression on his friends face. "Who's the father?" Kwest finally asked.
Tommy rolled his eyes, "I know you don't read tabloids Kwest but even you can't have missed the talk going on around the studio. We've been seeing each other – it's mine."
Kwest's eyes widened. If he'd thought he'd been surprised before Tommy realized he hadn't seen anything yet. "What the hell?" Kwest leapt to his feet but Tommy motioned for him to sit back down.
"Don't make a scene, ok? No one but her family knows yet and I'd like to keep it that way till I speak to Darius today."
Kwest shook his head, "Well it's been nice knowing you man but you brought this on yourself"
This scene did feature in the final version of TA though it was toned down somewhat in it's slapstick and overly caffeinated nature
Jude tapped her foot nervously, as she gazed at the flashing numbers above the elevator door. "One, two, three," she murmured softly, barely blinking as she watched the numbers change.
"Would you stop that?" Sadie groaned by the time they'd reached the sixth floor.
"We should have taken the stairs," Jude said, neither noticing nor acknowledging her sisters complaints, "he never takes the stairs. We might get to his floor, the doors open and there he is. I am not up to that right now."
"Well I think you're overreacting. You two just need to sit down and talk already!"
"I know, okay? You said that a million times in the car coming over here," Jude snapped.
Sadie rolled her eyes, "and you didn't listen once."
"This is it!" Jude leapt behind Sadie, trying to shelter her body behind her sister's petite frame as the bell rang and the doors slid open with a metallic groan.
"You are being ridiculous," Sadie whispered over her shoulder but despite herself she found her self holding her breath as she stuck her head out into the corridor and peered about. "Coast is clear," she reported to Jude who was still jumping about behind her in an attempt to stay shielded. "Stop doing that! It's creeping me out."
Sadie casually strolled into the hallway while Jude stayed in the elevator. She stuck her head out like a Meer cat surveying the desert before darting across the corridor – almost on tiptoes and pressing her back to the opposite wall. Sadie gaped at her as she inched sideways along the wall until she reached Tommy's door. Ducking down she ran past it to where a fake tree sat against the same wall. She hid behind it, peering through the fake foliage as Sadie stood at Tommy's door.
"If he's there just act casual and say you came around looking for me. Don't let on you know anything!" Sadie tried to act casual and normal, as if plastic trees called out instructions to her in hotel hallways every day.
She leaned in close, attempting to see through the peephole, Jude's nervousness having proven contagious. Gulping she pressed down on the door buzzer and waited; nothing. She pressed the button again and still there was no response.
"He's not here Jude. Get out from behind that tree already. You're embarrassing me!" She hissed.
Jude happily joined her at the door, quickly fishing her keys from her bag only to pause with them a few centimeters from the keyhole. "Wait, what if he's home and just not answering the door?" She asked, eyes wide.
"Just give me those!" Sadie snatched the keys from Jude's hands and unlocked the door before her sister could protest. It swung open silently and she turned to where Jude had been standing. "See? Nothing. Jude?" She peered around her in the empty corridor until she caught sight of a couple of leaves moving on the tree to her right. "Get out from behind the damn tree already!"
In the interest of full disclosure…
This scene follows Tommy's run in with Ashley at the Nought Eighty-Six single launch party. My initial plans were what was featured in the story… only I forgot my initial plans and wrote this scene. Later I remembered and rewrote Tommy running into Joseph Tyme, getting drunk and then encountering Jude's Dad.
Tommy softly closed the apartment door behind him and hung his coat by the door. The faint sound of the television drifted down the hallway to him and from the doorway to the lounge a faint bluish glow was the only light spilling out. He paused by the door to see Jude lying on the sofa, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and her head on a pillow. Her eyes were closed and as he tiptoed into the room he realized she was asleep.
"Jude?" He whispered, kneeling down next to the sofa. He tucked the blanket in up under her chin then smile as he stroked the back of his knuckles down her cheek gently.
She stirred slightly and her big blue eyes blearily opened. "Hey," she murmured, her voice husky with sleep, "did you just get back?" He nodded and sat down on the coffee table in front of her. "How was it?"
"Kind of dull actually. I missed you when you left. Are you feeling okay?"
She nodded and slowly shifted into a sitting position, her legs still on the sofa and her back to the armrest, "I'm fine. I just wasn't in the whole party mood."
He nodded. "In the interest of full disclosure… Ashley hit on me tonight?"
"Really?" Her eyes widened as various graphic scenarios flittered through her mind making her feel as nauseous as she ever did through her morning sickness stage.
"No one saw and I turned her down," he shrugged.
Jude cringed slightly and lifted her shoulders in a shrug like gesture, "I feel bad."
"Because you weren't there to protect me from the five foot four groupie attack?"
"Hmmm," she tilted her head to the side and smiled, "She is pretty scary but unless she has a secret black belt I do think you can handle her."
"She does have a black belt actually," he smirked as Jude's eyes widened, "and a blue one, and a green one, and then there's that little glittery number she wore tonight. Seriously, are belts some new trend or something?"
She giggled in appreciation of his effort to lighten the mood then examined the palm of her hand nervously, running a finger along one of the crease lines. "Do you like her?" she glanced up to see his look of surprise then motioned for him not to speak, "I mean I hate to think that I'm stopping you from a relationship that could have been something. You know?"
"She wasn't suggesting a relationship. Just that we hook up behind the band and your backs."
"That-" she paused, scrambling for a word then stopped, "This is a G, well, PG rated house hold so I won't say but wait till I get my hands on her. That's so tacky low."
"I think it'd be best if we all pretend the whole thing didn't happen. I am going to talk to Darius about finding a new Producer for the band tomorrow, though."
"Do you have to? I mean, can't we just evict her from the band and G-Major or something?"
"Maybe run her over with a steam roller at the same time?"
She laughed and shook her head, "No, that would be too messy…"
He laughed too. "Right."
This scene was written in the early days of the story. As usual I was thinking too far ahead and when the details that lay between were filled in, this scene was no longer needed. It was meant to be a lead in to Tommy's family issues. The two were at G-Major (making out for some reason I never quite decided other then that you guys would like it – perhaps for the sake of convincing their coworkers?) when the scene took place.
He ran a hand through her hair, clutching a handful in one fist as his lips slid over hers. Wincing slightly, she reached back to gently pry his fingers from her hair. She knew he hadn't meant to hurt her, hadn't realized as he did and even now hadn't really noticed. His mind was somewhere else. She became more and more convinced of this with every strange action and look. She could feel the difference in him.
She pulled back a little and whispered against his lips, "What's wrong?"
His only response was to crash his lips into hers again, his eyes sealed shut. She rested a hand on his shoulder, feeling the tension there. She lowered her hand to his chest then flattened her palm against him, pushing him away.
"Something's wrong. I know. Talk to me, Tommy." She tried to look in his eyes but he refused to meet hers.
He turned away from her and ran a hand through his hair. Wisely she stayed silent. With a soft groan he suddenly sank to the floor, burying his face in his hands. Alarmed by the unusual actions, Jude leapt forward, "Tommy?" She whispered, panic seeping into her voice. She knelt down in front of him and tentatively raised a hand to his face. She winced as she pried his hand away, still trying to get him to look at her.
He wasn't crying but there was emptiness in his eyes that tugged at Jude's heart as he reached for her. He pulled her two him, wrapping his arms around her tightly like a child hugging a soft toy as it imagined monsters hiding under his bed on a dark night. He hugged her because he needed to. He hugged her because he needed her strength, to know that she was there. She stayed frozen in place, one hand sliding up and down his back as she whispered soft soothing words.
"I love you"
First draft. Is different. Can't remember much more…
He caught her by the shoulders, spinning her until she was facing him, her back to the wall. The action was forceful; almost violent, almost scary. Only she wasn't hurt and she wasn't afraid. It wasn't anger in Tommy's eyes but passion and… love. Love that washed over her like warming waves, love that was branded into her skin by his soft touch as his hand ran up the curve of her neck and cupped her chin.
She shivered as she closed her eyes, thankful for the support of the wall behind her. She felt his lips graze her forehead and her eyes fluttered open.
"I love you," The words were so soft she questioned if she'd heard correctly.
His eyes met hers momentarily before he placed a soft kiss on her cheekbone. "I've been attracted to you ever since I first met you," He softly whispered again her skin. He dragged his lips further down her cheek and kissed her there, "I started falling for you that day at the park," He kissed her jaw line, and her eyes drifted shut again. She was staying so still – afraid to shatter the moment or wake from the dream.
"And that night you were so terrified of the sheep" He continued. He smiled against her skin as he murmured the words and she found herself smiling too.
He placed a kiss on her chin and she felt herself tremble slightly. "I fell in love with you as I watched you grow stronger and braver." He kissed her right cheek, just below her ear, "And I fell in love more as I watched you falling in love with your baby through your pregnancy," He brushed a kiss along her hairline then pulled back to look in her eyes. "I love you, Jude." This time he said it louder. This time she didn't once doubt that she'd heard correctly.
She searched his eyes, seeing everything he'd just professed mirrored there. She knew she should answer; he was waiting for her answer. Her mind desperately tried to focus on something other then those blue depths and the delicious warmth of knowing this man loved her that was washing over her.
It was so sudden, so unexpected, though in retrospect she realized maybe she did see it coming. She didn't know how to answer. She needed time to think.
She wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him toward her and tilting her head up to kiss him, buying time with a kiss that was only a partial answer.
He responded to the kiss with very little urging, wrapping his arms around her waist and running a hand up her back, greedily taking what little answer she gave him. Their lips met and parted and she tilted her head slightly to achieve a better angle. He lowered his head, his lips capturing hers again, leaving her barely a moment to catch her breath.