A/N: Hi, sorry about how short this is, its not much, but I am trying to get back into my writing rhythm and I should be studying for my first A.P. Bio test. Yah for ecology! Anyways enjoy you guys and review if you please.
THIS ISN'T EDITED, SORRY GUYS! Also I would just like to say I do not own twilight, new moon, or eclipse, all characters belong to S. Meyer.
It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)
I'm not an addict...
Not An Addict- K's Choice
The inside of the restaurant was bright. Red squishy stools lined the bard and white pleather booths lines the walls.
Edward's hand felt heavy and light in my hand at the same time. Truth be told, I missed home. I missed the small creases that would fall into place when Charlie smiled. I missed Renee's hair brained e-mails. I was almost positive that she and Charlie were beside themselves with worry. I spotted a pay phone near the women's bathroom and I felt a dull ache that clenched tight and begged me to dial the familiar numbers.
I knew that Edward wouldn't mind me calling Charlie, in face he would most likely encourage it, but I knew that the moment I would hear Charlie's voice the distance between us would be too great.
I ordered a burger and coke while Edward sat quietly in the seat across from me. His hands were folded and placed flat on t he table, his body rigid and was in straight form from traditions of his own time. His eyes were brewing, flashes of gold, flashes of black. It was easy to tell that he was upset. I wanted to reach out and grab his hand but instead I peered out the window with him.
Thick black clouds littered the sky, causing everything that moved to have a great shadow follow in their wake. There was a slight chill and as Edward paid, despite my protests, we headed back to the Volvo. Some how it still amazed me that it still managed to have a gleam beneath the clouds.
As we approached the car and my hand lay rested on the door handle Edward finally spoke, "I am sorry Bella."
I stared at him for a moment, "What are you sorry for Edward? There is nothing to be sorry about."
"I have plenty of reasons to be sorry. I'm sorry that I put you in harms way. I'm sorry that you love me so much. I'm sorry that you can't leg go and I couldn't let go," my hand began to tremble against the door handle.
"Edward don't say that, please."
"Don't say what Bella? That I'm a selfish monster, that my mind so driven by this blinding need for you that I put you in harms way. I wish I was strong enough to let you go. I wish I was strong enough to live with the knowledge that you would be better off without me."
I was crying now. His words hurt. Did he not believe that he really deserved to love me?
"Edward please stop," every word was managed through small, escaping sobs. "I don't want to let Edward. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. It hurt to know that you think these things and no matter hw many times you say you don't deserve me it doesn't matter because you are stuck with me anyways."
His eyes met mine across the top of the car and they seemed lighter than before.
"What have I done to deserve you?"
"You have tried Edward. You have tried to do the right thing, to live a righteous life and even when you have had the opportunities in life to do horrible, evil things you haven't, you resisted. Anyone strong as that deserves some resemblance of love and I only that what love I have to give you is the live that you deserve.
The tears were free falling and before another word could be said I climbed into the passenger's seat and waited for Edward to get in.
The rest of the car ride remained in silence, him not believing he was enough for me and me not thinking I was enough for him.
As the sky turned dark with night, Edw3ard pulled off the road onto a long gravel drive and a large house soon peered into view and loomed ahead.
I squinted my eyes and the distinct figure of Alice emerged in the darkness.
A/N: I used those lyrics because I feel like Bella and Edward are addicted to each other :). The song is awesome you should really give it a listen. Review if you please.