Author's note: Well, folks, the M rating doesn't quite cover this one. This is a post ep for "The War At Home." I have never written anything as explicitly smutty as this story in my life. And yes, Bobby does feature heavily. Remember that when you're only a quarter of the way in. This is a one shot dedicated to Alyssa. I really hope you like it. I wrote it on a short break from working on The Ivy Green. Don't worry, this won't interfere with the update schedule.
Disclaimer: With apologies to NBC and Dick Wolf. This will so never happen in the show.
Title: Eros (because the other titles I was toying with were too much for FF net.)
Well, that was disappointing, Alex thought. She rolled away from her bedmate gently so as not to wake him up. She sat on the edge of his bed, donning her discarded cloths. Adam…Andrew… Aaron…what ever his name was, slept on peacefully. Alex stretched and tiptoed from the room and the apartment. It was barely eleven in the evening and her contrivance for forgetting herself and her partner had failed miserably.
It had taken Afton…Archie… whatever… no time to get started. Foreplay wasn't his forte and she supposed that in a way it was good that he was as… minuscule as he was. She hadn't needed much lubrication to handle him. It had become readily apparent about two and a half minutes into their… coition… that he was desperately trying to stave off his impending orgasm in favor of pleasuring her.
He wasn't going to make it, his fumbling thrusts bringing her no closer to her peak. Alex had then decided she wanted to get this over with quickly and begun to moan. She faked an orgasm. When he was satisfied that she'd come he thrust into her twice more, hard and at an uncomfortable angle, and collapsed in the throes of his sexual climax. He was asleep soon after.
As she hailed a cab she wondered idly what Bobby would think of her choice of distraction. Perhaps having a few shots and picking up a random barfly wasn't the healthiest of ways to deal with depression and a fight with one's partner. But she couldn't help thinking a good orgasm would have helped. And they had used a condom. She'd made sure of that. So it was a calculated risk behavior. But I still feel stupid and I didn't even enjoy it, she thought dismally.
The implied promise of sexual release had her body stoked up and ready to go, leaving her undeniably frustrated. She grumbled to herself as she walked up her driveway and into her house. She hung up her coat and headed for the bathroom. She decided a warm bath might at least improve her mood or perhaps lessen the frustration.
She shed her clothing and stood before the mirror. Her body was tense and slumped. Why do you have to hide from me, Bobby? she thought. And why did I have to lash out at you? Stupid. It didn't help anything.
She couldn't help thinking about what she may have lost today. A partner. A friend. A tear coursed down her pale cheek. And his evasiveness…was our friendship ever what I thought it was?
She sighed and turned on the water in her freestanding claw-foot tub. Steam began to billow as she tucked back the shower curtain. Not for the first time she reflected how glad she was she and Joe had put in that extra large hot water tank.
She climbed into the tub and sat down when there was barely an inch of water in it. She flexed her toes in the soothing water and scooted closer to the faucet. She held her hands under the pounding stream, savoring the warmth. She rubbed her hands, superheated by the water, down her body. She looked down at herself. Her nipples stood at attention. She touched them gently shivering at the sensation. The diamond hard peaks were extremely sensitive to her touch.
Her hands traveled lower. She parted her folds with a finger, feeling the slickness where her lover had worked her up but denied her release. At the thought of him she removed her hands and sighed. She wanted all trace of him gone. She splashed a little water from the faucet between her legs. It was too warm so she adjusted the temperature.
She lay on her back in the long tub. She hooked her knees over the edge. Slowly she slid her hips forward until the stream from the faucet caught her right between her parted thighs. She reveled in the sensation of the pounding water. What had started as a way to excise all vestiges of her temporary lover quickly became more pleasurable than anything he'd done.
Her back arched involuntarily and she moaned slightly. Alex smiled a little. If you want something done right, sometimes you have to do it yourself. She adjusted her position, opening herself a little wider. Her thighs were as open as they could be in the confines of the tub. She sat up enough to adjust the water pressure. When it was perfect she decided she liked that position. She reached between her legs with both arms, gripping the rolled edge of the tub for support.
She raised her hips off the bottom, pressing her butt against the end of the tub. Rocking herself against the end of the tub she let the water pour into her. She felt the pressure building inside of her even as her muscles relaxed. She let go of the tub, putting her arms behind her head. She rocked her rear against the end of the tub a little harder. She lost the ability to rock as her body convulsed with release, the water still streaming over her clitoris and parting the folds of her labia.
When she could move again, Alex slid back and sat up in the bathtub. The water was several inches deep now. She took her washcloth and her vanilla sugar scented body-wash and began to scrub the day away.
Alex finished bathing and washing her hair. When she stood up water ran down her legs from her autoerotism. She was surprised to find that instead of sating her, her release had left her hungry for more.
She toweled off, the action only making her more aroused. Good Lord, she thought. Whatever it is about a fight with Bobby that turned me into a horny coed, I should bottle it. She let the towel drop to the floor and stood naked in front of the mirror. Her nipples were hard, her body rosy from the heat of the bathwater. She was standing straighter, no longer so weary.
She went down the hall to her bedroom, not bothering with any clothing. She pulled open the drawer of her nightstand and examined its contents. Her sister had once referred to her vibrators as BOBs. She had laughed hysterically when Alex had angrily asked what she was implying about her and her partner. "Battery Operated Boyfriends, Lexie," Elizabeth had said. "Every girl deserves her toys. Better question is what were you inferring about you and your partner? He is one huge hunk of man." Alex's only response had been to blush crimson.
Her partner who had shut her out. Her partner who had snapped at her. And whom she in turn had refused to absolve. Her partner who had told their boss he didn't care if he fired him. Well, I care, she thought. I care very much.
She sighed and selected the largest of the three vibrators in the drawer. She'd never admit to anyone who she often thought about when she used it. Lets just say it wasn't Derek Jeeter. She turned the speed dial and tested it against her hand. Definitely low on juice. She dug through the drawer, praying she hadn't exhausted her supply of AA batteries.
She had two left, just what she needed. She replaced the batteries in the pliable, cyber skin vibe. She couldn't help but laugh as she looked at it. Why on earth do they make them in such weird colors? she wondered. It was eight inches long and three inches in girth, about what she suspected her partner possessed in that department. Of course she doubted his was purple, pink, and white marbled together. She tested the vibration again. Much better.
Alex adjusted her pillows so that they raised her hips off of the bed and lay back. She turned the vibrator on to its lowest setting and slid it down over her curls. With one hand she teased her clit with the vibrator. With the other she caressed her breasts and stomach. She turned the toy up a notch.
She could feel her body responding, her entrance growing wet at the stimulation. She knew better than to use this size vibrator without being ready for it. She ran a finger over her slit, testing. She writhed a little at the sensation from the toy. Her finger met with silky slickness as her body opened and prepared for intercourse. She slid the tip of the vibrator inside her slackening folds.
She imagined it was Bobby, reverently entering her for the first time. She pushed the vibrator deeper, slowly, until it seemed it would go no further. She gasped as she shoved the last two inches in quickly, feeling the tip ram against her cervix. Alex moaned as her inner walls clinched around the mechanical penis. She pulled the vibrator halfway out and slid it home again.
She opened her legs a little wider and arched her back, turning up the vibrator another notch. She developed a rhythm, moving the toy in and out with increasing friction and tempo. "Yes, Bobby," she groaned, closing her eyes and letting her imagination take flight. She reveled in the sensation of fullness as she came hard. She lay back panting as her body convulsed and tightened. White-hot stars exploded behind her eyelids as the orgasm over took her.
She was still lost in euphoria, the vibrator half inside of her, when the doorbell rang. Alex sat up in surprise, the vibrator slipping out onto the sheets. She reached out to turn it off as she glanced at her clock. After 12:30. "This better be good," she grumbled, standing up. She put on her knee length white terry cloth bathrobe and cinched it tightly around herself.
She ran her fingers through her wet hair, combing it back from her face. The doorbell rang again. "I'm coming," she muttered, and then laughed at her own joke. She left the bedroom and headed up the hall for the front door.
It rang again as she peered through the peephole at one very befuddled and weary looking Bobby Goren. She opened the door, shivering at the rush of cold air that slipped in.
"Hi," he said softly, looking at the ground. He glanced up at her, taking in her appearance. "Did I wake you? I don't know what time it is. I'm afraid I lost track." He sounded worried.
She sighed, unsure of whether she was happy to see him. The orgasm method of relieving stress stops working if the cause of said stress materializes immediately after the orgasm. She could feel her shoulders tightening already. Another cold wind gusted past them.
"No, you did not wake me. Come in before you freeze," she said, her voice not betraying her emotions.
He looked really unsure of himself. She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind them. Her closeness was rapidly eroding his resolve. He'd come to apologize and to tell her he was taking a leave of absence. He'd come to beg her to still be his partner when he returned. He'd come to throw himself on her mercy and beg for the friendship he was certain he no longer had or deserved.
She smelled intoxicatingly of vanilla and … sex. Bobby pulled up short just inside her door. His emotions flared, first surprise, then jealousy. Jealous that she could even think of sex with their partnership in limbo and his world turned upside down. Jealous that someone else was fucking her. He couldn't smell anyone else on her, truth be told, but the jealousy flared intensely anyway. Jealous that it wasn't him who brought that blush to her cheeks and smell to her body. Alex let go of his hand when he stopped and turned toward him. "Am I interrupting something?" he asked roughly.
Alex looked puzzled. "No," she said. His eyes were dark and intense and he looked as if he didn't believe her. A thought struck her, coloring her cheeks with the idea that he might know what she'd been doing for the last hour. But how could he…
"Is there someone else here?" he asked, more subdued. "I can … we can talk later."
"No! There's no one else here," she said. She felt a surge of petty anger at the implication that he might retreat again.
Bobby took a deep breath, drinking her in. The anger that rose up in her quailed at the dark hunger in his eyes. She'd expected soft-spoken, penitent Bobby. And in fact, that was how he seemed when he arrived. Now there was a storm brewing in his eyes and it worried her.
Bobby not only suspected she was lying, but was shocked to discover what the thought of her hiding her lover did to him. A wave of possessiveness swamped him. He wanted to take her right there and make her his. To make her forget her other lover. He wanted to make her scream his name so that the other man could hear it and would know he paled in comparison to Robert Goren. And Bobby was horrified by these desires. He fought them down and tried to ignore the sudden tightness of his pants.
He settled for catching her in her lie. "Alex, you smell of sex," he said, his voice hoarse with suppressed emotion. "I should have called. Whoever he is, he's probably waiting." He turned back toward the door.
With his eyes off of her the spell was broken and Alex rode her anger like a raging bull. "Don't you dare walk away from me again!" she shouted.
Bobby stopped and tensed.
"There is no one here but you and me," she said tightly. "And if you walk out that door its over."
Bobby turned to face her slowly. The pain from that last remark was written on his features. "Please don't say that," he said softly.
"Yeah, because you care so much about this partnership," she bit out. "You really proved that today."
Bobby's entire frame sagged. "Eames, that… I'm sorry I snapped at you," he said. "Today… my behavior wasn't about you. I'm sorry. I value our partnership more than anything."
"Fire you! You don't care!" She was glaring up at him now, closing the distance between them. "Sure sounds like our partnership means a lot to you. You selfish son of a bitch! You may not care, but I sure as hell do!" She punctuated this with openhanded shoves against his chest. Bobby was pressed back against the door.
"I'm sorry. Eames, I am…" Bobby stammered. "So sorry."
"Oh, you're sorry! That's great," she said. "You made us look bad today. Not just you."
"And that's not even why I'm angry, though it certainly doesn't make me happy," she said. "I have done nothing but try to be supportive and save your ass. I thought we were friends, Bobby. You push me away, and you push me away, and now I'm so far away I … I don't know the way back," she finished softly.
He started to say something but she held up her hand to silence him. "You say you don't care if they fire you," she said. "But I care… I care so much it hurts."
He stood before her, bewildered. "I… I'm sorry," he said. "I never meant to hurt you."
She snorted derisively and looked at the ground.
Bobby felt defensive at her disbelief. "Eames, I do care. But you know what I'm going through…"
"No, I don't," she said, cutting him off. "How can I know what you're going through? You won't talk to me. You ignore every expression of concern, every question I ask."
He closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face. "I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say to you."
"I need you to meet me halfway," she said. "Talk to me. Tell me what's going on with you. That's all I want. Otherwise I don't know if I can do this anymore."
He took a shuddering breath. "Please stop threatening that," he said, his eyes still closed. "It's not fair. You have too much power with that threat. My career… my life would be over if you left."
"You have to know I don't say it lightly," she said, moving even closer to him. "It would devastate me to have to leave you. Can't you see…" 'That' died on her lips as she pressed against him. She could feel the bulge in his pants pressed against her stomach and it silenced her.
Bobby looked down at her, thoroughly embarrassed. "I should go…" The look on her face blew his mind.
Alex was smiling slightly, looking up at him in the most peculiar way. She pressed her hands against the lower part of his stomach.
"Wh…what are y…you d…doing?" he stammered as she tugged his shirt out of his pants.
"Beginning the healing process," she said as she unfastened his belt.
Bobby raised his hands in protest, preparing to push her away. What the hell is going on? his mind screamed. Alex can't be serious. She can't want…
His thoughts were cut off when he felt his pants and boxers leave his hips and drop silently to the floor.
Alex let all her air out through her teeth in a low whistle. He looked down at her. She was staring at his penis, which was definitely saluting. Her eyes were wide and her mouth had formed to the shape of a tiny "o."
"Alex…" he gasped questioningly.
"Wow," she muttered, humor and shocked awe evident in her voice. Bobby was too stunned to even think of pulling his pants up. He raised his eyebrows, staring at her.
"I knew you'd be big… well I mean I thought you'd be big," she was saying. "But wow. Where the hell do you hide that thing?" She'd been considerably off in her estimations.
The absurdity of this situation caught up to Bobby. Somewhere between his shock at his current predicament and the humor interjected by his petite partner he began to laugh. "Did you just bite off more than you can chew?" he asked, fairly sputtering with laughter.
Alex rather suspected she had, but she wasn't about to admit it. His laughter came to an abrupt stop as her small hands encircled his penis. He let out a shuddering gasp as she stroked the silky length of him. He locked eyes with her. "Alex," he said, trying to sound firm in spite of the fact that what she was currently doing to him was making his toes curl.
"Yes, Bobby?" She smiled coyly up at him, now working on the buttons of his shirt.
He placed his hands on hers and stilled them. He looked at her face. "Alex, I'm starting to lose control here," he said, his previous impulses about making her scream his name rearing up in his mind.
"Only starting?" She undid the last button and leaned in to place a kiss on his sternum. She felt the rampant beating of his heart through her lips.
"Are you sure about this?" he asked, his voice not quite in his usual timber. He put his hands on her shoulders and made her look at him. She met his eyes. "Alex, are you sure this is what you want?"
She wondered for the briefest of moments if she was sure. She'd never seen that look on his face before. Hunger. Need. Concern. Confusion. Most of all, lust. Bobby was looking at her like she was the last chocolate bar on the planet and chocolate was the only thing that could save him. Oh, what the hell… "Yes," she said softly, giving him the briefest of nods.
After all the shit that had been going on in his fucked up life… After all the pain they'd caused each other this day… After everything they'd been through together…
Alex took a step back as Bobby came toward her, stepping out of his pants. His shirt slid off his shoulders as he advanced on her. He let it flutter to the floor. He stood before her, naked and exuding a crushing sexual aura. She let out a little gasp as he reached for the tie of her robe. One tug and it was open. She looked up at his dark eyes. He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her against his body, his mouth meeting hers in a kiss that could only be described as epic. As his lips and tongue assaulted hers, his hands were busy slipping the robe from her shoulders. She barely noticed as her only article of clothing fell away.
He put his arms around her and before she knew what was happening he'd lifted her off her feet, deepening the kiss even more. She moaned against his mouth, awakening passions in Bobby Goren that he thought were dead. He carried her to the couch and leaned her back on it, his mouth never leaving hers.
The kiss was like none Alex had ever experienced. It was mesmerizing and more erotic and passionate than most of the sexual encounters she'd had in her life. If he could do this to her with just a kiss… "Oh, god," she cried out against his mouth as his hands stroked her sides and then covered her breasts. She was about to orgasm right here the way he was teasing her hardened nipples with his dexterous hands. She panted as his mouth left hers, kissing her chin while his thumbs swirled and pressed her nipples.
Alex's obvious enjoyment only served to egg Bobby on. He became more aroused and stimulated with each moan, each breathy pant that escaped her lips. His mouth traveled lower, nipping and kissing her throat, while his hands continued their ministrations on her breasts. He laved the hollow of her collarbone with his tongue. The small portion of her mind that was still functioning reasoned that even if he stopped right now, Bobby had officially ruined her for anybody else.
Her right breast suddenly felt cold as his left hand, the hand so full of gestures and visual communication, slipped from the heaving mound of her bosom and slid lower along her stomach. She barely had time to register her breast's loss when his mouth had replaced his hand. He suckled and licked and nipped, grazing his teeth gently against her now quivering nipple.
Just when she thought it couldn't get better she felt the long fingers of his left hand run through her curls. She put her hands on his chest, stroking his muscles. She clawed his chest, crying out when his index finger slipped inside of her at the same time his thumb swirled over her clit. "Bobby…" she moaned. She felt him smile against her breast.
His middle finger joined his index inside of her and she lost control. She thrust her hips, taking his long fingers deeper, and cried out again. "Bobby please… I don't know how much more I can take," she moaned. She wanted him inside of her. She couldn't remember ever wanting anything so much in her life.
"Not yet," he said, kissing the flat plane of her stomach. He was clearly enjoying her desperation. She groaned in protest. He laughed against her stomach. "You're not wet enough yet," he said, his fingers swirling and probing inside of her. Her inner walls clinched around his fingers. "Not quite ready for me."
"I am ready," she panted desperately.
He withdrew his fingers and she thought… prayed he was giving in. His left hand returned to her breast. She moaned when he kissed his way down her stomach to her curls. "You're driving me crazy," she whined. "On purpose."
He laughed again. "Oh Alex," he said, bemusedly. "I have every intention of fucking your brains out. I'd just prefer not to cause you any unnecessary pain when I do. I don't know if I can keep this from hurting as it is. You're so small and tight." His hands continued to tease her breasts as he spoke.
"I… c…can…t…take… you," she panted as he buried his head between her legs. Her hands laced into his hair as he did things with his tongue that can't be put into words. She whimpered. "Please… B… Bobby…now…" Her begging ceased when all at once he pinched her nipples, grazed her clit with his teeth, and stuck his ample and expressive tongue deep inside of her.
Her whole body convulsed and her eyes misted as she came. Her breath was coming in short gasps as he gazed lovingly up at her from his spot between her legs. "Alright," he said. "Now I think you're ready."
She looked at him, confused, when he helped her to her feet. "What are you doing?" she asked. Her legs were wobbly and she was afraid they wouldn't support her weight.
"Do you trust me?" he asked, leaning down to kiss her lips.
"Y…yes," she said.
"I promise I won't let you fall," he said. He turned her around so her back was to him. She looked back over her shoulder at him and he wrapped his arms around her in a quick hug. He put his hands on her hips and lifted her so she was standing on the edge of the couch. Gently he spread her legs with his hands until she was at just the right height for him. He put one arm securely around her waist and put the other hand on her back.
She held her arms out in front of her as he bent her forward over his arm. He stopped when her hands were resting securely on the back of the couch. He placed a gentle kiss at the small of her back. "You're so beautiful, you know," he said reverently. "The most beautiful woman in the world." Her heart swelled at the reverence in his voice.
He positioned himself at her entrance, keeping his arm around her to support her. Slowly he slid part of the way inside her, waiting as her body adjusted to his girth. Steadily he pushed himself all the way inside her, reveling at the shock when her hips met his. Alex cried out incoherently as their hips met. She had never been with anyone so large. She felt as if she might split in two. "Are you all right?" he asked.
"Y…yeah," she gasped. And she'd never been with anyone so attentive, so gentle. He bucked his hips, pushing himself a little deeper still. She groaned.
"Don't let me hurt you," he said. "Tell me to stop and I will."
"Don't stop," she murmured, pulling her hips a little forward and slamming them back against his. Bobby had never been with a woman quite as small as Alex. He was so afraid he would hurt her. But she felt so good… so snug against him. God how he had dreamed of this.
He drew himself most of the way out of her, her body shuddering at the vacuum that was created. She screamed his name when he thrust back inside of her. She was trembling, her hips bucking, begging for more. "Oh, God, Jesus, Bobby!" she panted as they found a rhythm. When he sped up her knees went weak. Bobby was true to his word. He wouldn't let her fall. After a few moments of this excruciating ecstasy, their hips slammed together and her whole reality exploded. Bobby fought to keep control of himself as her body convulsed and squeezed around him. She was making soft, incoherent mewling sounds.
He wrapped his other arm around her too and lifted her from the couch, keeping their hips locked together. He turned around and sat gently on the couch, still buried deep inside of her. He leaned back and loosened his grip on her, helping her to sit up. He put his hands on her hips, lifting her up and down as he neared his own climax. He thrust inside her three more times in quick succession before his own orgasm claimed him. He fell back on the couch, his arms wrapped around Alex as he came inside of her.
They stayed like that for several minutes, both extraordinarily spent. His erection slackened and she felt less stretched. When she could move again she slid off of him gently and turned over so she lay straddling his chest. She pressed several feather light kisses over his heart. "So that's what it means to get your brains fucked out," she said after a moment. "I didn't know."
He smiled languidly at her. "Something like that," he murmured, kissing the top of her head. He wrapped his arms around her, basking in the post coital glow. "Do you love me?" he asked suddenly. "Or did we just go at it like bunnies for the hell of it?"
"You don't know?" She cocked an eyebrow at him.
He smiled. "I know," he said.
"Can we never fight again?" she asked. "Not that the make-up sex wasn't… well… fantastic. But can we please not fight again? No more hiding."
Bobby looked at her for a long time. "I promise I'll try," he said after a pause. He craned his neck to catch her lips with his own. "I love you, Alex. Believe me when I say you are the best thing that ever happened to me."
Her eyes filled with tears. "Ditto, you big lug. I love you too."
He pulled the throw from the back of the couch and covered them both with it. He watched as her breathing slowed and she fell fast asleep. I can survive anything, he thought. As long as I have her. Then he drifted off into sleep's blissful oblivion with the love of his life in his arms.
Author's note: Wow that was fun to write. I hope it was fun to read. Please review. You know I love reviews.