Author's Notes: So, originally this was going to be a one-shot, but I got really impatient, so I typed up roughly a third of what I have so far and decided to post it :) So it'll probably end up being a three chapter fic (this chapter will most likely be the shortest of them). Anyway, I hope you like it! I had a lot of fun writing it, especially this first chapter.
Disclaimer: Once upon a time, there was a girl who liked to write Lily/James fan fictions involving muffins. This girl's name was not J.K. Rowling. (Three guesses who the girl is.)
Blame the Muffin
Chapter One: Lily's Gone Mad
It was the muffin. All of this was the muffin's fault, I decided. If it hadn't been for that wretched, evil-doing bread product, I wouldn't be in such an incredibly… compromising situation right now. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me take you back to when all of this insanity began…
"Evans, d'you want the last muffin?" Potter asked. He and his minions had sat across from me – without my consent, of course – at breakfast this morning.
"No, Potter," I replied coolly.
"Are you sure?" he asked, almost… pleadingly? "These muffins are really good. The house elves put extra effort into them this morning; they told us when we wer—" Black elbowed Potter, shooting him a death glare.
"I said no, Potter."
"Evans. If you don't take this muffin, I'm going to take that to mean that you're madly in love with me, and be sure the entire school knows by breakfast tomorrow."
"That makes absolutely no sense," I scoff, but take the muffin anyway, placing it down roughly next to my plate.
"You've got eat it, Evans, if you want me to keep my mouth shut." Black sniggered.
Sighing, I took a bite out of the muffin. What could go wrong?
A lot, my friend, let me tell you. A lot.
"Keep going…" Potter said, becoming more excited with each bite that I took.
At last, when I had finished the stupid muffin, Potter looked like he was going to wet himself with glee.
"Potter, stop grinning like that. You look like Pettigrew," I snapped icily, standing up. I smoothed out my robes, slung my bag over my shoulder, and stormed out of the Great Hall without a backwards glance.
By now you must be thinking: So she ate a muffin that Potter gave her. Who cares? Well, you clearly don't know what kind of muffin it was. Good? Bad? Poisoned? Delicious?
Well, it wasn't poisoned, I will confirm, but pretty darn close.
Five minutes later, when I'd reached the dormitory, the rest of my roommates were still sleeping soundly, unaware that I had already dressed, eaten breakfast, and made quite possibly the biggest mistake of my life thus far.
I threw the shades of the large window, successfully waking up those who hadn't drawn their drapes closed.
"Lily? What on earth are you doing?" asked Catherine groggily, sitting up in her bead and rubbing her eyes. "It's eight o'clock in the morning on a Saturday for goodness sake!"
"Carpe diem, Catherine," I replied with a grin.
I plopped down on my neatly-made bed. Less than a minute later, my thoughts had shifted, quite involuntarily, to Potter. How charming he is, how smart, handsome, and witty he is… the way his hair always looks so perfectly messy….
And (much to my horror, in retrospect) I didn't beat the thoughts back.
Now, I've thought about Potter on occasion – mostly about what an insufferable git he is, but very occasionally, my thoughts have turned to what a great guy he is. I have, of course, attributed these ridiculous thoughts to moments of temporary delusion. But this time, I didn't attempt to deny my thoughts about him.
"James is so perfect, isn't he?" I asked suddenly to the ceiling, in what was undoubtedly a dazed and love-struck voice.
"You're just realizing th—" Catherine stopped dead. "Did you just call him James?"
"Yes," I replied dreamily. "So?"
"So? You haven't once called him James in the entire time we've been friends. Or called him perfect for that matter," Catherine said, shocked. "So, either you've finally realized that you two are made for each other, or you've completely lost your mind," she stated matter-of-factly. "And I think the latter is far more likely."
"WHAT?!" I nearly screamed, jumping up from my bed and running at my closest friend, whose bed stood across from mine in the circular room. "You think I'd have to LOSE my MIND to be in love with James? Well, for your information, my mental condition is perfectly stable!"
Calming down slightly, I walked back to the other side of the room, fists clenched. As I threw myself on my bed, I could have sworn I heard Catherine whisper to a just-waking Elizabeth, "Lily's gone mad."
More Author's Notes: Tee hee. Bet you can't guess what type of muffin it was -sarcasm-. Anyway, please review! If you don't, I will send my army of evil invisible squirrels to attack you in your sleep -cackle-
I also feel inclined to point out that I got the "Good? Bad? Poisoned? Delicious?" thing from 'The Muffinless' at muffinfilms dot com. Officially the coolest website ever xD