Title: Answering Machine Chaos
Authoress: THE FEMALE PHARAOH
Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN ANY COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL!
THANKS, MY LOYAL REVIEWERS AND READERS!
Chapter Nine: MOKUBA KAIBA'S ANSWERING MACHINE
"Hi, this is Mokuba. I am not here, so leave your message. BYE!"
Mokuba was checking his messages while on lunch break at school. (A/N: Here comes punishment!)
"Mokuba, this is Yami. I just wanted to ask you a question: Why does your brother have a stick up his ass all the time? I mean come on, I understand his need for perfection, but he needs to get over himself. I AM THE PHARAOH AND HE WILL DO AS I SAY!"
"Yami, leave Mokuba alone. He has nothing to do with Seto's behavior."
Yami: He is Kaiba's brother, Aibou. He knows that stuck-up bastard better than anyone else here. Besides that, I AM THE PHARAOH! He is supposed to do as I tell him!
Yuugi: (sighs) Yami, your reign ended FIVE THOUSAND FREAKIN' YEARS AGO! Give it up already.
Yami: Tell that defiant priest he shall pay for his insolence! (storms out the room)
Yuugi: (to machine) Mokuba, please forgive Yami. This is what happens when he doesn't get his way.
Yami: (from another room) THIS HAPPENS BECAUSE YUUGI WOULDN'T GIVE ME ANY LAST NIGHT!
Yuugi: (OO) YAMI! MOKUBA DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT!
Yami: Oh, please, Yuugi. He lives with Seth and that asshole called Kaiba. He should be used to hearing that by now! (BEEP!)
Mokuba: (OO) I am scarred for life!
"Yo, rock star hair. This is Bakura. When are you gonna get your shit cut?! You look like a drugged out hippie!"
(Ryou was watching TV)
Ryou: (sighs) Bakura, leave Mokuba alone.
Bakura: Hsi hair needs to be cut!
Ryou: Why does it bother you?
Bakura: I am doing my duty as a concerned citizen.
Ryou: Concerned citizen, my foot. Bakura, you need to go get YOURS cut, while you're sitting here passing judgment on others.
Bakura: There is nothing wrong with my hair, Ryou.
Ryou: Nor is there naything wrong with Mokuba's. Now HANG UP THE DAMNED PHONE!
Bakura: Okay, okay, sheesh! (to machine) You know, kid, you could really use a hair cut. You do look like a drugged out-
Ryou: BAKURA! COUCH AGAIN!
Bakura: DAMN! (BEEP!)
Mokuba: He's one to talk, that jerk!
"Brother of the bastard known to all of us as Seto Kaiba. This is Marik and I just had to ask this question. Your hair...when are you gonna cut the shit?! You look like a dark version of Cousin Shit from The Addams Family!"
(Malik was reading a Shonen Jump Manga)
"MARIK! GET YOUR ASS OF THAT PHONE!"
Marik: What?! I was just telling that little troll that he looked like that thing off The Addams Family. You know..Cousin Shit.
Malik: You psycho! ONE...it's Cousin It, not Cousin Shit and TWO...before you talk about someone else's hair...CUT YOUR OWN CRAP FIRST!
Marik: What are you trying to say about my hair?!
Malik: Other than it would give Freddy Krueger nightmares on Elm Street? Nothing.
Marik: Fine, then YOU cut my hair then.
Malik: Sorry, I do not wish to cut my hands while trying to cut that razor blade collection you call YOUR hair.
Marik: Oooooohh, BUUUURN!
Malik: (sigh) Just apologize to Mokuba and hang up the damned phone.
Marik: I don't wanna.
Malik: (grabbing the phone) Mokuba, I am so sorry about Marik. Don't worry about him, I'm putting his ass on pills. (BEEP!)
Mokuba: (OO) Malik, that poor guy!
"Young Mokuba, this is Shadi. Please inform your brother that I need to borrow the Sennen Rod for some research."
Ishizu: Shadi, whay are you calling the young one for such a thing?
Shadi: So he could pass the message onto Kaiba and Seth.
Ishizu: Well, here is a novel idea. Why don't you try calling Kaiba's home and tell him and Seth the same thing you are telling Mokuba? (DUH!)
Shadi: Well, very well...(to machine) Please disregard this message, young one. (BEEP!)
Mokuba: (-.-') Are ALL yamis this stupid, or just the ones here?
"Mokie, this is Seth. I made an appointment for you to get your hair cut today at three."
(Seto enters from the restroom)
Seto: Seth, what are you doing?
Seth: Letting young Mokie know that he has an appointment at the barber's.
Seto: What for?
Seth: To trim that dark cloud of unruliness, also known to us as his hair.
Seto: Seth, that is not nice. There is nothing wrong with Mokie's hair.
Seth: You do know that you are going to Hell for lying, right?
Seto: Why would that be?
Seth: You remembered what you said about his hair earlier!
Seto: Oh, that? I was just kidding. He is my brother and I can do that.
Seth: SETO! YOU SAID THAT HIS HAIR LOOKED LIKE A RUN-OVER PORCUPINE!
Seto: WELL, YOU SAID MOKIE LOOKED LIKE A BLACK SHEEPDOG THAT DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IF HE HAS EYES!
Seth: Oh, really? Well, that is not what you said about Mokie's...OH SHIT! THE MACHINE RECORDED ALL THIS!
Seto: (OO) Wait, Seth! Erase it! Don't hang it up you dumbas-! (BEEP!)
Mokuba: Oh, I AM SO GETTING THOSE TWO BASTARDS WHEN I GET HOME! (goes back to eating lunch)
--END OF MESSAGES FOR MOKUBA KAIBA—
Well, How's that one, folks?
The next poor, unfortunate soul is……….MAXIMILLION PEGASUS!
(My thanks to TOMBOY601 for this suggestion)
Any suggestions for that?
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