My first fic which consists of nothing but conversation! Hope it works out all right… happy reading!

Disclaimer: Don't own digimon.


"Carrots."

"I don't like carrots."

"Patamon doesn't like carrots."

"A diet's a diet. All diets include carrots."

"Tomatoes, lettuce, celery, carrots… you might as well KILL me!"

"…"

"Well, he's mad."

"Never seen him flown so fast before."

"This isn't gonna work. I know, Hikari. Perhaps we could add little incentives."

"What do you mean?"

"For example, we could give him a reward after he eats, say, four carrots? Then it wouldn't be so torturous, would it?"

"What kind of reward, eh?"

"I don't know… potato chips?"

"Takeru! That isn't going to help! It'll make it even worse! Don't you know what a diet is? A diet is a strictly regulated list of food a person has to stick by to help retain a healthy body mass! Adding your stupid incentives isn't going to help… anyway, this is what Joe ordered! What am I doing helping you guys anyway?"

"You're my girlfriend."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Hmm."

"No incentives."

"You know, you can be a right little spitfire when you want to be."

"Glad you know. So, I'm sure Patamon can eat white meat - "

"You really are focused about this, aren't you?"

"That's because I care about Patamon's health. Never have I heard of a more severely overweight digimon… what have you been feeding him all this time, anyway?"

"It isn't my fault! It's just his knack of raiding cupboards."

"Ah."

"So, the list is completed?"

"Pretty much. And remember, its eight glasses of water a day. No soft drinks for him."

"Got it, got it."

"He should see some improvement by the end of the month."

"You could be Joe's assistant."

"Well, here's the list."

"Thanks, Hika… geez; he's not going to be happy when he sees this."

"You just have to be gen – what's that sound?"

"What sound?"

"That rustling sound! It's coming from the kitchen! It's - "

BAM!

"Augh!"

"Patamon?!"

"What's that in your paw, Patamon?"

"Hikari, I…"

"Hand it over, Patamon."

"I…"

"HAND IT OVER!"

"Now wasn't that harsh."

"It's a whole bar of Hershey's! Patamon! You're on a diet!"

"Please… just a bite?"

"No! I'm confiscating it."

"Please, Hikari! Just one!"

"Augh! No! It's for your own good! Get away… Augh!"

"Just a nibble!"

"C'mon Patamon, Hikari's right… you can eat plenty more after the diet!"

"I'm hungry!"

"Augh! Get off!"

"Patamon, come on! There're tomatoes in the fridge… OUCH!"

"… whoops."

"Mighty strong for someone so small, huh. No wonder you need a diet."

"Hikari… ow…"

"Oh… sorry…"

"Mind getting off?"

"Well…"

"I don't like that smile."

"It's pretty comfortable here."

"What?"

"It's warm, soft… I could lie here all day!"

"Get off me, Hikari!"

"Aww… don't be a grouch."

"!"

"That kiss isn't going to do anything! Boy, how heavy are you? You weight a ton! Maybe you and Patamon should diet together… ha ha…"

SMACK.

"Ow! Hikari!"

"Are you guys okay?"

"Yes, Patamon, we're perfectly fine… STOP EATING THAT CHOCOLATE!"

"Now she gets off me."

"Hikari, your face is all red."

"I forgot you were still in the room."

"It doesn't matter. I get enough info about you two from Takeru's diary."

"What?"

"WHAT? Why you sneaky pig - "

"Oooh."

"I'm going to kill you! Enough of that stupid chocolate! Give me! Munch munch. Ta da, all gone. From now on, I'm hiding all the junk food."

"Takeru…"

"It's no use begging. Who told you to read my diary?"

"YOU IDIOT!"

"And there he goes again."

"Little greedy batpig."

"What do you write in your diary exactly, Takeru?"

"Never you mind."

"Can't you tell me?"

"…you know enough."

"…"

"…"

"Oooooooh."


FIN

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