OK, first Hellsing fic. Little oneshot drabble kind of thing. Enjoy.


Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing. If I ever do, I'll be sure to let you know.


Summary: Alucard doesn't like Christmas…


Deck the Halls

Alucard sighed and looked around his master's home. Every year. Every damn year. Every year Walter would go out and come back with a small fir tree, then he would undergo the tedious and rather pointless business of hanging it with colourful lights and small round things and sparkly… stuff. And similar things would also appear to decorate the halls. Green boughs of… what was it called? Holy? That sounded almost right. Yes, that was it. Holy. Wasn't there a song about it? Deck the halls with boughs of holy, falalalala lala la la. That was it. Ridiculous.

The worst thing, it seemed, was his fledgling also seemed obsessed with this stupid human tradition. The Nosferatu had seen her helping the butler to hang these things in the manor. She had even gone out with him to help him fetch in a tree. What was it with that tree anyway? They went out, cut it down, brought it inside and decorated it. A tree! Inside! It should have been unheard of, yet here it was!

Police Girl had tried to explain it to him. She should have known that Sir Integra had long ago given up trying to make him understand. The young vampire had gone on at length about celebrating someone's birthday, someone long dead at that, and a man who broke into houses and left gifts behind, even though he didn't really exist. Ludicrous!

Trudging along a corridor and ignoring the gasps of the maids at seeing him, Alucard glared at a piece of green with white balls on it hanging in a doorway. Seeing that it failed to run away or put up a fight, he shot it, deriving some pleasure from seeing it splatter on the doorframe and the bullet whiz past into the roof.

"I would greatly appreciate it, Alucard, if you could try to avoid blowing holes in my mansion," a cool voice from behind him stated. "It does crate rather a mess."

Turning, Alucard met the cold blue gaze of Integra Hellsing. He smirked.

"It's you humans who bring all this rubbish," he gestured to the decorations hanging on the walls, "inside."

The master of the Hellsing family lit a cigar and took a long drag, then leisurely blew out a plume of smoke.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again: It's Christmas and it's traditional."

"It's stupid. You humans have the dumbest traditions," the vampire threw back.

With a slight smirk and knowing that it would serve to infuriate him more than anything else, Integra turned and walked away, feeling his anger in the back of her mind.

Watching her walk away, Alucard scowled and glared at some more green. Damn stuff. He hated it. It made no sense. It didn't kill people or scare them. It just… hung around and did nothing. How he hated it. And this whole Christmas thing. A noise of disgust escaped his lips as he saw his fledgling running down a corridor with a circle of green in her arms.

"I'm coming, Mr. Walter!" she shouted, panting.

Turning with a swish of his trench coat, Alucard stomped outside stopping only to look down as something crunched under his boots. Something white and glistening. A smile came to his face.

He might not have liked this Christmas, but he certainly liked the snow.


Well, I'm kinda disappointed to have this as my first Hellsing fic, but please, review and tell me what you thought. Happy Holidays everyone. Have fun!

- Jesus Christ is in Heaven Now.

Failed Redemption.