Finally! I finished this story ages ago, but I have been to lazy to type it up and post it. It ended up being a lot longer than I expected, but that's okay. Now I can start my next story. I've noticed that there aren't a lot of Sokka/Yue stories out there, so I thought I would write one. I've also noticed that Sokka is usually portrayed as the sarcastic, over protective guy, and that nobody really writes about him having a softer side. He was really affected by Yue's death, but nobody would know because he doesn't show that too often.
Anyways, this story takes place during that night on the Serpant's Pass. In this story I made the moon a full moon, even though it wasn't in the episode. I thought it fit the story better. It's supposed to be a Sokka/Yue, but there's some Sokka/Suki, Tokka (if you squint really hard), and Kataang (totally accidental).
Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar.
Set far up in the heavens, high above the heads of Aang and his friends, the moon's radiant glow shone like a beacon against the clear midnight blue sky. Most people would just dismiss it as a regular full moon, but those who actually took the time to take in its beauty would realize that there was something special about it. This night it wasn't the dull yellow orb that normally sat up in the sky. It glistened and sparkled and glowed and gleamed, causing it to stand out against the dark sky and command all attention. There was not a star or a cloud in sight. The moon's resplendent beauty was astonishing and unique; it was unlike any moon ever seen by human eyes. And while the majority of sky watchers looked up at the starless sky with curiosity, wondering what could possibly make this moon so breathtaking, there was at least one person watching the moon who knew why it was so gorgeous.
Sokka sighed heavily and rolled over onto his side, his fierce blue eyes glued to the beauty in the sky. He always had trouble sleeping when it was a full moon after what happened at the North Pole. After what happened at the North Pole. That was how he referred to Yue's sacrifice these days. It helped him ease the tightness in his chest, helped him cover the hole in his heart where he had once held Yue so close. He couldn't bring himself to say that Yue was dead, gone, even after all the months that had passed.
Sokka sighed again and turned over to his other side so that he was facing his friends. All was still and everyone appeared to be deep in sweet sleep, the thing that refused to take Sokka into its comforting arms while he mulled over the memory of Yue.
Glancing around, Sokka's eyes came to rest on Aang, who was smiling slightly in his sleep. Sokka looked closely at Aang's peaceful expression and marveled at how, with the pain of losing Appa and everything else that had recently happened to him, he was still able to be happy, if the happiness was only slight. Sure, he hadn't exactly been himself since the desert, but there were moments when he returned to his normal happy-go-lucky personality, all bad things forgotten.
Wishing he too had the ability to tune out painful events, Sokka shifted his gaze to Katara. A worried expression graced her delicate face, mixed with something Sokka couldn't immediately recognize. He knew she was dreaming about Aang – that much was obvious – and lately she had been so protective and concerned for him that she had had difficulty thinking about anything else. Sokka didn't take a great deal of interest in her concerned look – Katara was, by nature, motherly – but was quite curious about that unidentifiable thing in her expression. He had occasionally seen that look on her face ever since they had escaped the Cave of Two Lovers, but, uncharacteristically, he hadn't mentioned it to her.
Trying to decipher the mysterious look, Sokka squinted hard at her. 'Hm. She looks kind of uncertain...Unsure? Confused? That's it!' Sokka exclaimed to himself. 'She looks confused!' Immediately after declaring this to himself, Sokka mellowed as he realized what he was saying. Uncertainty and confusion…. Cave of Two Lovers…. Aang and Katara together…. alone….
'C'mon Sokka!' A voice in his head moaned to him. 'Put two and two together!'
Sokka thought for a moment. He had known about Aang's crush on Katara for a long time now – even he wasn't THAT stupid. If it was any more obvious, Aang would go around with a sticker on his forehead saying "I love you, Katara" in big red letters. Katara, however, appeared to be completely unaware and oblivious towards Aang's feelings for her. Until, that is, they were trapped in the cave together.
With one torch. Alone – well, except for Appa. Sokka laughed silently and made a mental note to interrogate the bison on what had happened in there. He was bound to have seen it.
Sokka didn't know precisely what happened between the two in there, if anything happened at all. All he knew was that when they came out of the cave, Aang had a sly grin on his face and Katara was blushing. And now that he thought back to that moment, Sokka remembered a comment Aang made in response to Sokka's asking about how they managed to get out of the cave.
"Just like the legend says. We let love lead the way." Aang grinned sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders.
Sokka clapped a hand up to his forehead. How could he have missed that? Though it didn't tell him what happened, it proved that something happened.
After that incident Sokka noticed that Katara started acting a bit differently towards Aang. Nothing major, but Sokka often caught her staring avidly at the young Avatar. Whether Katara knew about Aang's crush on her or not, Sokka didn't know. But she did seem to be seeing him now in a different way. And Sokka noticed.
'You know, sometimes they really act as though I never notice anything. But I know more than they give me credit for!' he declared proudly.
'Okay, that enough,' Sokka told himself sternly. 'I shouldn't be so concerned about my sister's relationships. It's her life, not mine.' But deep down he knew that he still cared and he always would.
Toph was sleeping face first and snoring loudly. Her hair was a tangled mess and her clothes were covered in dirt. That was something Sokka really admired about Toph – she wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty. Seeing as she grew up very rich, Sokka was at first surprised at how down to earth she was. But he had grown used to it now.
Suki was not far from Sokka. Her chest was rising and falling steadily and she appeared to be sleeping, but Sokka couldn't tell because her back was towards him. Her short locks of chocolate brown hair blew freely in the mild breeze and she shivered a little.
Sokka was instantly reminded of the time he had taken Yue for a ride on Appa. There her exquisite snow white hair had blown elegantly around her perfect face.
"Is it always this cold up here?" she had asked him coyly while scooting her warm and comforting body closer to his, a pink blush appearing on her tanned cheeks.
He had to admit, he loved her blush. The petal pink patches on her cheeks contrasted perfectly with her golden skin, giving her a sweet, innocent look. Okay, maybe he just liked watching her blush when he knew he was the cause. Either way, he would never forget that sweet blush that often graced her features.
Sokka scowled, angry at the fact that just about anything reminded him of Yue, mostly when he was trying so hard to forget about her. Why couldn't he just forget about her and move on? Because part of him didn't want to forget her? Because he was afraid to move on, afraid he wouldn't be able to protect the next person he cared about, like Suki? Because he had feelings for her, feelings that could very possibly be described of as love?
Sokka missed her so much that it hurt. He felt like he was in constant pain. He missed her just as much as Aang missed Appa, but nobody would ever be able to tell because he didn't display his emotions as openly as Aang did. Whether that was a curse or a blessing Sokka was unsure of, but at the moment he didn't really care. The only difference was that they still had hope of finding Appa. Yue was gone… forever.
Quietly, Sokka rose from his blanket and tiptoed around his friends, not wanting to disturb them. He walked down the path a little ways to a natural arch overlooking the water he had seen earlier in the day and sat down, still deep in thought.
Unwillingly, Sokka glanced back up at the moon and realized that he was bathed in the moon's luminous glow. It felt as though it was a spotlight, giving the warrior the impression he was being watched. He turned his head cautiously and looked at his surroundings. No one was there. He turned back to face the moon. With a sudden, painful jolt in his stomach, he understood that it was Yue looking down at him.
This revelation made the young warrior feel, if possible, even worse due to the fact that guilt was now added to his sadness. If it wasn't for him, Yue wouldn't have to look down on him. She would still be… alive.
Sokka winced at that thought. He couldn't bring himself to say Yue was dead, and therefore avoided the word by replacing it with other words such as gone or away. Saying she was dead made it seem to final, too real, and Sokka was positive his emotions wouldn't be able to cope with that.
All of a sudden a memory that he, under most circumstances, kept in the very back of his mind flashed before his eyes. It was his vision of Yue from the swamp. Yue as the moon spirit. Yue looking like she did the last time Sokka saw her, the last time they kissed.
The princess was so stunningly beautiful that it seemed as though she didn't belong to the mortal world (which, Sokka reminded himself, she did not). Under different circumstances, Sokka would have found himself tongue-tied and at a loss for words, but at that moment he only felt disbelieving shock and heart-wrenching sadness.
She was adorned in a simple, curve fitting, strapless light purple dress. A length of fairly darker purple fabric was belted across her waist and her sleeves (which were not attached to her dress) widened out so much that she would most likely step on them if she was walking. A white scarf wrapped around both of her arms and went down her back before coming out to the front where her feet should be and joining together with a beautiful pendent. Her hair was, for the most part, in its normal fashion, but some of it had been let out of its braid so it could flow freely around her gorgeous figure.
"You didn't protect me, Sokka." Yue's voice was distant and echoed in the silence of the swamp.
'She's right,' Sokka whispered to himself. 'I didn't protect her. Her father gave me the job to protect her at all costs. But I failed.'
He didn't care that Aang and Katara told him over and over again that Yue sacrificed herself. He never listened to them, though they told him millions of times. Sokka had always been stubborn and nothing was going to change that – at least not now. If he had just…
'What, exactly?' a voice in his head asked him. 'What could you have done?'
'I could have stopped her, I could have sacrificed myself!' Sokka argued fiercely. But he knew it was no good, he knew he was being stupid.
'You become the moon spirit?' the voice sneered. 'It was her destiny. There was nothing you could have done to protect her from her duties.'
"STOP!" Sokka yelled, realizing too late that he had brought the conversation outside of his head.
But he didn't care anymore. It was too much; he was in too much pain. He could feel his strong barrier breaking down, the barrier that protected him against his own storming emotions, the barrier that he had put up when Yue died. Sokka hadn't cried since the day his father had left to fight in the war, but suddenly he couldn't help himself. He tried to fight it, but all of the emotions he had kept bottled up inside of him for so long were at their breaking point and were screaming to get out.
Sokka blinked furiously, trying with all his might to prevent his tears from falling, but it was no use. A single tear rolled silently down his toned cheek, and before he could regain his composure, more tears burst from his startling blue eyes and streamed down his cheeks as he let out a single sob. Quickly, the water tribe warrior put his head in his hands in an attempt to muffle the sound of his sadness.
Back over on the ledge, Suki awoke suddenly.
"What was that?" Suki asked herself tiredly. Rubbing her eyes, she turned over to look at Sokka only to see an empty bed. Propping herself up on her elbows, Suki looked around. Aang and Katara were gone as well.
"What, is everybody having a party or something without me?" she muttered jokingly.
Her blue eyes sought out Toph, who was sleeping like a rock.
'Hm. Toph's still here. But where's Sokka and the others?'
Suki decided that she would go looking for him. She had wanted to talk to him alone for a while now. He had been acting so overprotective over her that she was seriously concerned for him. He was so different from the Sokka that left her on Kyoshi Island and she wanted to find out what had happened to him.
Yawning and stretching, she rose from her bed and began her search. The only problem was that it was so dark Suki was only able to see a few feet in front of her.
It was Toph. Suki had accidentally tripped over Toph's feet and fallen on top of her.
"Sorry!" Suki whispered hastily, not wanting to wake the others. "I was just looking for Sokka. Have you seen him?"
The moment Suki said this she regretted it. It was so easy to forget that Toph was blind.
"Sorry," she repeated, recovering quickly. "What I meant was-"
"He's down by some arch by the water not to far from here. Just keep going straight and you should find him. Now will you please get off of me?"
"Oh, right. Thanks," Suki replied, smiling. She continued along the path, paying extra caution not to step on anyone else.
The warrior began wondering what she should say to Sokka when she found him. Should she just come right out and ask him what was wrong or should she hint at it casually?
After a few minutes of walking she saw a ledge. Still lost in thought, she turned to get on the ledge but stopped the moment she realized that it wasn't Sokka on the ledge, but Aang and Katara.
Hastily she crouched down behind a rock and thought of how she could get away from them without being noticed. Suki knew that there was a reason Aang and Katara were out here in the middle of the night, far away from everyone else. She knew that they obviously wanted some privacy and that no one else was meant to hear this conversation, but she couldn't prevent herself from listening.
Presently, she was unable to slip away without being seen, but deep down she knew that was no excuse. She didn't have to listen – she could plug her ears and hum quietly. But, naturally, she was curious about what topic could possibly demand the need for such secrecy.
Aang was standing on the edge of the cliff, staring forlornly over the calm, moon stricken lake with a passive expression on his young face. Katara was standing a ways behind him. After hesitating for the briefest moment, she approached him cautiously.
"You know, it's okay to miss Appa." Silence.
"What's going on with you? In the desert all you cared about was finding Appa, and now it's like you don't care about him at all." Katara sounded miserable and concerned for her friend. Aang didn't respond for a moment.
"You saw what I did out there. I was so angry about losing Appa, I couldn't control myself. I hated feeling like that." Aang closed his eyes. Suki's curiosity rose rapidly. What had sweet, innocent Aang done bad? Suki found it seriously hard to believe that Aang had done anything really bad. Maybe he was just overreacting.
"But now you're not letting yourself feel anything. I know sometimes it hurts more to hope and it hurts more to care. But you have to promise me you won't stop caring. C'mon, you need a hug." She opened her arms and waited. Instead, he bowed politely.
"Thank you for your concern, Katara." Aang said tonelessly before turning around abruptly and walking away.
Suki pushed herself up against the rock, trying to cover her body in shadows as Aang walked past. When he was out of sight, she poked her head over the rock to stare at Katara, who was wearing an expression equivalent to that of one who had been kicked by an ostrich-horse. Katara sighed and shook her head in a weary manner. The water tribe beauty turned around and followed Aang back to camp. Suki breathed a sigh of relief. Finally she was alone. She stood up promptly and continued her search for Sokka.
Sokka stared silently at the silver moon. The tears had subsided, the grief momentarily forgotten, leaving Sokka with a feeling of pure longing.
Longing to see Yue again. Longing to be next to Yue, to hold her hand and never let go, to feel the warmth and comfort of her body. Longing to kiss her soft lips tenderly, affectionately. Longing to show her everything he felt for her and more.
Sokka was so absorbed in his thoughts and daydreams that he didn't hear Suki approach him from the side.
"It's a beautiful moon," Suki said softly after several moments of watching him gaze longingly at the full moon. It felt like a stupid thing to say, but admittedly there was something special about the moon tonight. For a moment Sokka didn't even acknowledge her presence. Then he spoke in a low and conflicted voice.
"Yeah, it really is."
'What's that supposed to mean?' Suki thought to herself. 'What's up with him? He's acting like... I dunno, like he's... attached to the moon or something. I mean, can't he at least look at me?'
She examined his heartbroken expression closely.
'It's like he's... in love with the moon.'
Okay, now she was definitely overreacting. You can't be in love with a moon. It's not a person. He probably just likes looking at it. He is from the Southern Water Tribe, right? Don't they have a special connection with the moon?
Suki walked over to the arch and sat down besides Sokka. She turned to face him.
"Look, I know you're just trying to help, but I can take care of myself." Okay, that was a start at finding out what was wrong.
"I know you can," Sokka replied softly.
"Then why are you acting so over protective?" Suki was determined to get to the bottom of this. She knew something was wrong with Sokka and it hurt her to not know what it was and to not be able to comfort him.
"It's so hard to loose someone you care about. Something happened at the North Pole, and I couldn't protect someone. I don't want anything like that to ever happen again." Sokka's voice was tired and serious.
"I lost someone I cared about. He didn't die, he just went away. I only had a few days to get to know him, but he was smart, and brave, and funny."
Sokka's eyes narrowed as he stood up to his full height.
"Who is this guy?" he questioned indignantly. "Is he taller than me?"
"No, he's about your height," Suki teased. She loved teasing the water tribe warrior and was glad to hear the note of jealousy in his tone. This was the Sokka she used to know.
"Is he better looking?" Yup, that was Sokka. Totally clueless sometimes.
"It is you, stupid!" she informed him, smiling at his apparent inability to put two and two together.
Sokka's wistful eyes were now full of passion and love. All of the longing he had experienced earlier for Yue filled him up again, but this time the longing was to kiss Suki. They moved closer together in a dreamlike state, both equally wanting to press their lips against the other's, to feel the warmth of each other's bodies as they kissed fiercely.
Wrapping their arms together in a sweet embrace, they closed their eyes and leaned closer, so close that Sokka could feel Suki's warm breath on his soft lips. It sent shivers down his spine.
Sokka tilted his head slightly, and was about to close the space between their lips when the glow from the ever present yellow orb in the sky caressed his face, warning him.
Suki, her eyes still closed, completely unaware that Sokka had frozen in place, reached up to place her lips on his, to kiss him delicately, tenderly.
Sokka turned his head away.
"I can't," he stated tonelessly.
Suki was alarmed. Had she done something wrong?
"I'm sorry," she apologized uncertainly.
Sokka stepped away from her, leaving her gloved hands holding on to his left arm.
"No, you shouldn't be." Sokka turned and left her staring confusedly after him.
Yue felt her heart sting painfully. She couldn't imagine Sokka, her one and only true love, with another girl. He used to be hers. And now…
The moon spirit knew she was being selfish. Sokka deserved to be with this girl, this Suki, she had heard Sokka call her. She and Sokka couldn't be together. Her destiny was to become the new moon spirit. His was to travel with the Avatar and help save the world.
Sokka's destiny could include love. Hers couldn't. It was the way it was meant to be and nothing could change that. Ever.
It was terribly lonely being the moon spirit. She was by herself… forever. At night, however, she could watch over Sokka. It was as close to love as she would ever get. On nights when the moon was full, she was as close to Earth as she would ever be, as close to Sokka as she could ever get.
Yue made sure Sokka remembered her on these nights. Or, at least, she had previously.
Yue sighed. She was being selfish. For a short period of time around midnight, she was allowed to return to Earth, to Sokka. Yue would always lie beside him and watch him. She would purposely keep him awake until she was beside him. She hated herself for doing it, for being so selfish. She would wrap her arms around him, seeking comfort and reassurance from him, but he wouldn't feel a thing, and neither would she. It was as close as she would ever get to him, and yet it was so far away.
Yue realized that even when Sokka was right next to her, he was a million miles away. Being with him had never been enough because Yue knew that they could only be friends, even though they both wanted so much more. Yue ran her fingers over her silky braid absently, remembering that Sokka had always liked her hair better when it was down. So much more.
All that the moon spirit had left were memories.
Yue remembered the look of incredulous disbelief on Sokka's face when she told him that it was her destiny to sacrifice her mortal life to become the new moon spirit.
She remembered unwillingly but determinedly leaving Sokka's strong and protective arms for the last time.
She remembered when Sokka's hand reached out automatically to grab hers and never let go.
She remembered the pain that tore at her heart when she continued walking and allowed her hand to be pulled away from her true love's.
She remembered their first kiss, the kiss that had made her feel dizzy for hours afterward as she craved for more. It was her first kiss and it had a sort of young innocence to it that quickly developed into the love and desire that had been bottled up inside of her for so long.
Yue remembered the fish Sokka had carved for her himself and wished that she had it with her so a little part of him would always be with her.
She remembered snuggling up to Sokka as they flew through the chilly air on Appa's back.
She remembered the soaring sensation she felt in her stomach that had nothing to do with the fact that they were flying.
She remembered Sokka's heartbroken expression when she revealed to him that she was engaged.
She remembered the fierce look of determination Sokka wore when her father placed upon his forehead the marks that marked him as one to partake in a dangerous and deadly journey.
She remembered the tears that slid down her face when she heard the story of Kana running away from an arranged marriage with Pakku because she didn't love him.
But most of all Yue remembered the way Sokka looked at her, the way his eyes shined with adoration and love for her. She remembered how much she longed to return those feelings, and how much it hurt to walk away from him.
How much it hurt to withdraw her hand from his for the very last time.
How much it hurt to pull away from their final kiss and watch as Sokka opened his hurt eyes and reached out his hand, begging for her to come back to him.
And what hurt Yue the most was not the emotional burn she felt in her own heart, but the pain that burdened Sokka's heavy heart each and every day and night. The moon spirit's one wish was that Sokka could move on and always remember that she was in his heart forever.
Hot tears filled Yue's eyes. It wasn't enough. It would never be enough.
Yue understood that she had to let go of him. She knew that by holding on she was hurting both of them. But she couldn't let go. He meant so much to her. He taught her how to live a little; he showed her how to be happy and how to love. Why would she let go of him? She loved him.
She wiped her eyes and tried to prevent more tears from spilling out, but she failed miserably. Why was she singled out, why wasn't she allowed to love? It wasn't fair.
Sighing, Yue glanced around at her surroundings. Suddenly she realized what time it was. With a bittersweet smile on her features, Yue stood up gracefully, the bottom of her soft, elaborate dress flapping gently around her bare ankles.
'Wait,' Yue stopped herself. Reaching up, she unbraided her delicate hair and took out her exquisite hair pieces. She shook her head and allowed her hair to cascade softly over her shoulders, caressing her bronze skin.
'Now I'm ready.'
Sokka lied down on his blanket. He was exhausted, and, thankfully, his brain had stopped working.
'It must be around midnight,' he mused. For some reason, he felt as though he was being watched. It felt kind of like someone was lying beside him. The only thing next to him, however, was Suki's empty bed. Suddenly Yue's last words popped into his thoughts.
"I'll always be with you." Sokka smiled, and felt curiously at peace with himself as he drifted off into a deep sleep.
A single tear rolled down Yue's smooth, rosy cheek as she watched the young warrior fall asleep.
"I love you, Sokka," she whispered softly as her aqua blue eyes filled slowly with tears.
Tell me what you think about it. I certainly hope I'm getting better at this, but I'm not sure if I like this story too much. Oh well. Read and review please! Thanks!