Demon Eyes Laharl Christmas Special 2006: Aaron's special omake edition.
Foot of the stairway to Laharl's house in Kyoto
Aaron, Etna, and Ryoko stride in a carefree manner through the snow. "I tell you, even the damn snowstorm can't kill my good mood," Aaron stated with a small smile.
Etna loops one of her arms onto Aaron's. "Can we get out of the snow before I freeze my tail off? Some of us don't have insane ki reserves."
Ryoko loops onto the other arm and start dragging Aaron up the stairs. "I'm not feeling the cold, but while we're out here, there's sake with my name on it being drunk."
Aaron sighs and looks up. "Anyone ever tell you you're a lush, Ryoko?"
Ryoko puts Aaron in a headlock. "No one that's lived to tell about it."
Aaron adjusts his shades. "Can a dying man get a last request?"
Ryoko pulls the shades down and looks into his eyes. "Depends on the request? Can I die with a smile?"
Etna shows her fangs in a wide grin. "You're going to regret saying that you know."
Aaron nods. "I know. Better the evil you know, and all that."
Ryoko dumps Aaron on the ground. "You could just fly you know."
Aaron shifts to his female form. "But then who would I kiss under the mistletoe at the door, Ryoko-chan?" Aaron smiles with a sex kittinish expression.
Ryoko's face flushes red. Etna starts laughing and leaning onto Aaron for support. "I love how she does that! She can get anyone flustered when she talks like that."
Aaron spins out of Etna's grip, causing her to fall, and goes into a pose. "Duh. Who do you think taught Ranma that trick?"
Ryoko grabs the two of them and tucks them under her arms. "We're missing the sake, so I'm grabbing you two and just teleporting to the door." They vanish and reappear outside the door.
"You know Ryoko, you could have just asked if you wanted me to cop a feel. Oh wait, that's YOU copping a feel," Aaron accused.
Ryoko smirks. "You did ask for it."
Aaron slips out of her arms. "You think the readers are getting tired of this sex tease dialogue?"
Etna grumbles. "I know I am..."
Ryoko knocks on the door. "Then let's just go embarrass Laharl and celebrate the holidays."
Aaron turns towards the readers. "In case you're wondering how I'm doing this, this is an omake. As such, the so-called 4th wall between the audience and the actors (I.E. us) doesn't exist. Thus we can do things like talk to you guys. Whereas normally, the girls here would think I was crazy and wonder who I was talking to."
Ryoko peers towards them. "I think we lost a few when UNNC went on hiatus."
Aaron shrugs. "Comes with the territory. Let's get out of the damn cold already." Aaron pulls out a ring of keys. "Always carry about 20 skeleton keys. You never know when you'll need to be breaking and entering."
Etna pulls out her tail. "Watch a professional." She inserts the tip into the lock, a moment later, the door opens. Aaron raises an eyebrow, then shrugs and starts clapping.
"Ok, you got me."
A handsome brown haired young man with thin glasses steps into the doorway. "Can I help you guys?"
Aaron puts her shades back on. "Maybe. Maybe not. Is Budsy in?"
The guy blinks. "Budsy? Who...wait, do you mean Laharl?"
Aaron grumbles and reaches a hand into her pockets. Etna flashes a V-sign with her hand.
The young man blinks. "What...?"
Ryoko reaches into her jeans and pulls out a wallet. "We both bet you'd call him Buds. Etna bet that whoever answered the door would call him Laharl."
Aaron pulls out a fifty. "So I'm the only one who calls him Budsy. Big deal. I had a 50 chance of winning." Aaron hands the fifty to Etna then pulls out a few presents. "You have a place to put these, Keitaro, or do you prefer to go by your nom-de-guer?"
Keitaro looks to Ryoko, who shrugs. "I have no idea what that word is."
"It means your working name, K2."
K2 goes for his shoulder holster, only for Aaron to toss the presents to Ryoko, flip over K2, and get him into an arm lock. "Relax."
K2 breaks out of the arm lock and draws his gun. "Who are you guys?" Aaron pulls out an envelope.
"Christmas guests of Budsy, who you guys call Laharl."
K2 looks the envelope over then holsters his gun. "How did you know my...?"
Etna steps past Aaron and calls out over the threshold. "4th wall's broken. Just relax and assume we've read the past few fics."
Ryoko puts the presents into a subspace pocket. "At least DEL's fics are getting better."
K2 stares up. "I have no idea. My story hasn't been around that long."
Aaron pokes her head out from the door. "By the way, check this out." Aaron shifts to his male form and puts his shades back on. "Scary, isn't it?"
Keitaro's jaw drops.
Inside Budsy's living room.
Laharl whistles whilst putting tinsel on the Christmas tree. "You know, you could have let the James Bond wanna-be at the door know I was coming." Laharl is jerked back and put into a headlock.
"Hey Budsy." Laharl is released and pulled into a bearhug. "Chag Sameach, old pal."
Buds hugs back. "Whatever you said, Aaron."
Aaron lets go. "It means happy holidays in Hebrew." Ryoko tosses her jacket onto the couch, revealing a wool turtleneck sweater and jeans.
"You know Laharl, this place isn't that bad." Buds waves to her.
"Hey Ryoko. Let me guess, you want to know where the booze is?"
Ryoko pulls out the presents. "First let me put these down, and then open up the liquor cabinet."
Aaron snatches one of the presents out of her arms. "This one is private, girls, please amscray for a minute."
Etna turns her nose up. "Jerk." They walk out of the room.
"This one is for you alone." Buds carefully opens the package, revealing a bottle with a dark liquid in it. "Kentucky Bourbon. Care to share a few glasses with me later?"
"Sure... thanks." Aaron tosses his jacket to the side, showing a lounge suit.
"Dude, why do you always wear those shades, even inside?" Aaron takes them off and looks at Buds.
"Because, my eyes freak people out. And there are things I don't want to or need to see." One eye is golden, with a triangular symbol in the center and shifting patterns, the other is brown and relatively normal, but also with the triangular symbol. Buds snorts.
"So? Sheesh, relax. If anyone got a problem with it, this house would kick them out."
"House would kick them out...? What? The point is, Don't bother yourself with the secrets of scary people."
Buds puts a hand behind his head. "Isn't a quote from Batman Begins?"
Aaron runs a hand through his short spikey hair. "Shit, busted."
Buds laughs. "Well, don't bother with the house secret as well. We even have extra rooms for those steamy moments... but keep it down."
Aaron sweatdrops. "I'm not that loud, tell that to Ryoko. Besides, my presence is unnerving to some of your usual guests. I may not stay the night."
Buds looked at Ryoko... "Dude... I'm not telling that to a woman."
Aaron sighs. "A lady like Ryoko is rare. Because you can be totally honest with her. You and I both know that I'm a psychopath half the time. I'd basically call the girls my better half."
Buds looks slightly askance at Aaron. "Dude... I don't care if she's the Virgin Mary. There are some things I'm never saying to women."
Aaron grabs Buds's shirt collar. "Come on, let's go say hi to the girls, and introduce me to your other guests. I want to see what company you've been keeping since UNNC stalled."
"Alright... dude, you met K2, right?"
Aaron nods. "Saw him at the door. He pulled a gun on me. Flipped over him, showed him my invite, and then shifted forms on him. I think I broke him."
"And why he pull a gun at you?" Buds wondered. "Nevermind. He's in your writing anyways. And here's Abe, and Preston..." A Xenomorph and Predator enjoying a martini and a shot glass wave. Aaron tilts his head to the side and looks perplexed.
"Not gonna ask..."
"Anyways, that's all for now... unless you want to see my house's guards in the basement."
"House guards? Like what, a few dobermans?"
"Depends... right now, its just some zerglings and hydras."
Aaron's jaw drops. "YOU BROUGHT ZERG HERE!?" Aaron lifts Buds up by his shirt. "ARE YOU NUTS?! DO YOU KNOW CRAZY THOSE FUCKERS ARE?!" Aaron puts Buds down. "Actually, how did you get them here, let alone domesticate them?"
Buds grins. "Jeez, calm down dude. It's a joke." Aaron facefaults to the ground.
"Oh... oops." Aaron stands back up. "Ok, so I'm paranoid. Comes with the territory. For example, that idiot Naruto still hasn't figured out that I saved his sorry ass in Chapter 1 of Fairy Odd Adventure."
"Yeah, you're the one that created the big ass wind that made Naruto fly towards a tree instead of the bottle… alright, already, gave you credit for that, even if nobody noticed," Buds stated. He then smiles. "You need to get some alone time with Etna and Ryoko... you're too tense. Shall we call them? I have a room up there that has pads to quell the noise."
Aaron flicks Buds on the nose. "I wouldn't talk, Mr. I'm scared of a certain succubus."
Buds smiles "You'd be too if your daughter wants to get freaky with you."
Aaron reaches a hand into his pocket. "I need a pick me up, think anyone will mind? If they do, I can just go outside."
"Nah, go ahead." Aaron pulls out a joint from his pocket and a zippo lighter. "This house got some excellent ventilation system too." pulls a string... a big ass wind flips some skirts... "See?"
"Nice. Just 1, which girls are wearing skirts? 2, let me light this first. And 3, you or anyone else want any?"
Buds shakes his head. "None for me... I'm a pure snowflake," Buds rolls his eyes. "And don't know who got flipped though. Maybe just our imagination or maybe a fan service?"
Aaron tokes on his joint, then breathes out a cloud of smoke. "Not my girls. Any of yours?" Aaron gestures with the joint. "For that matter, are you, me, the girls and this K2 guy the only guests?"
"Nah... heard Hild is coming... Lilith, Morrigan, and... Lily." Aaron takes a deep toke.
"Morrigan, eh? She's always fun. Hild's to be expected. Lilith and her namesake? One's the jailbait, and the other looks like the jailbait's sister... As long as she doesn't call me uncle again. Wasn't Urd coming?"
"Oh yeah... Morrigan's fun until she bears your incestious girl..." Buds shudders. "I don't even know why I invited her. And... Urd, yeah, invited her too."
Aaron does a double take. "Incestuous...fuck it. Really not gonna ask. Urd's always fun at parties. I just hope you put BYOB on the invites."
Ryoko walks towards them, dusting her hands off. "He means bring your own booze. And I thought you said it was open bar." Ryoko pokes Buds in the chest.
"I'm not a bartender, dear," Buds smirks. "Well... I didn't. I hope to god I got enough drinks to sate them without embarrassing myself."
Aaron checks a large cigarette case. "I think I'm gonna go through half my stash tonight..."
The doorbell sounds out, cutting a gap through the conversation. Aaron checks his watch. "I have to do something for awhile. Tell the girls I'll be back in about 10 minutes or so." Aaron takes out a box and moves to another room.
Buds looks at the readers. "Hey… since Aaron's busy, I'm gonna write in his place for now."
Buds look out the door, and spots Hild coming in. He gave a rather relieved sigh. "Well, at least she's decently dressed." Walking up to her, he greeted, "Hild. Welcome to my home."
Hild gave him a sultry smile, and without warning, gave him one big tight hug. Keitaro watched as Buds suddenly freeze in place, and smirked a bit. Buds wasn't. Her perfume was sweetly… erotic. And her chest was touching his. And her mana spiked that his curse began to act again. He began to struggle away from her grasp, but she wouldn't budge.
"Now, now, Harlie-kun," Hild stated with a smile, "it's the holidays. Just let go and enjoy."
"You do the letting go, so I can enjoy!" Buds muttered, still struggling.
"Oh, fine, spoilsport," Hild stated before releasing him. "Here you are Harlie-kun," she then handed him a neatly wrapped box. "Happy Holidays."
Buds nodded his thanks, and opened the gift at once. Inside was a package of a self-help guide book entitled, 'Sex: Begginer's Guide from Clean, Kinky and Wrong'. Keitaro looked at Buds with a stiff face, the likes where he was hiding or keeping in his laughter. Buds just sighed.
"Thank you, Hild," he said. "Here is yours."
Hild smiled, and opened her gift. She then frowned, and raised the book Buds gave her. Keitaro didn't bother to hide his laughter anymore. The book was entitled, 'You are Oversexed, This is the Cure.'
"Very funny, Laharl," Hild stated with narrow eyes. "Well… I shall have a few drinks. Hello there K2," she waved at Keitaro, who waved back. Without another word, she went towards Ryoko, who was helping herself with drinks.
A moment later, another woman entered. She looked like Hild, and was dressed almost the same, but when she saw Buds, she just waved. "Hey! Laharl!"
"Urd! Yo!" Buds stated. Keitaro looked at Buds who responded, "Hild's daughter… Urd. Goddess of the Past."
"Ah…" Keitaro nodded. "Um, Laharl… you don't mind if I help myself with some drinks do you?"
"Nah, go ahead," Buds stated. Keitaro nodded, and went where Ryoko and Hild was. Turning back to Urd, he gave her a friendly hug which she returned with no problem.
"Long time," Urd stated.
"Quite… thanks for de-powering your mana for a bit," Buds said with a smile.
"Ah well… as the one responsible for that curse, I should at least not let you suffer more than you need to," Urd then looked at Hild who was now coming into Keitaro, who was holding on his own against such a beautiful devil. "She still bothers you, huh?"
"She wouldn't be Hild if she wasn't," Buds smiled. "How is Skuld?"
"Date with Zeus," Urd replied. "She likes married gods."
"She'll grow out of it one day," Buds nodded. "Here ya go, by the way," he said, handing her a box.
"Oh, thanks," Urd smiled. "I brought drinks… hope that's enough."
"With lots of drinkers coming soon, its appreciated, thank you very much," Buds then pointed where Hild and the others are. "You can put them there."
Urd nodded, but opened his gift first. Her eyes narrowed. She read the book title that Buds gave her: 'Guide in finding your True Love'. She hit the book gently on his head. "Isn't this something you should read?"
"Unlike you, my dear friend, its sex I avoid, not love," Buds said with a grin. "Besides… you can give it to Skuld if you don't want it."
"Good idea," Urd smiled. "Thanks." And with that, she went towards the others.
Three figures then walked entered the house again. Two had green hair, one was long and the other was short. The long one wore a very tight fitting white shirt and dark pants with black boots. The other one was in a sleeveless shirt, and white pants, white boots. The third of the three had short purple hair, wearing a beautiful red dress.
Buds smiled nervously. Morringan, Lily and Lilith. The three succubus had come. Without another word, he greeted them. "Hey, Morrigan, Lily, and Lilith. Glad you could make it."
"Wouldn't miss this part for the world," Morrigan said with a slight smile. "Besides… Dimitri-kun has one of those boring Senate meetings."
"How are you two?" Buds asked, looking at Lily who was smiling at him evilly. "Are you guys still close?"
Morrigan made a slight click noise with her tongue. "Now, now, Laharl… that is an inappropriate question to ask… but since you are curious, me and Dimitri are doing well."
Buds gave Lily a winning smirk. "That sounds excellent."
Lily's smile didn't leave her face. "Father."
"Lily," Buds muttered softly. "Here… I brought you something."
Lily grabbed the box from Buds' hands, and opened them. "A chasity belt," she said with an amused smile. "That is the sorriest thing you ever gave me, father."
"As your father, I can still command you to do what I tell you too," Buds muttered, reviewing the Succubi Laws.
"HAH! That's only applicable when your daughter has still not reached the age of maturity," Lily countered. "And I have passed that centuries ago… well… centuries later, in this timeline." She grinned. "You're grabbing straws."
"I at least am grabbing something," Buds countered with a small glare. "Unlike you… what was your plan again, Lily? Have and grab my ding dong until you get whatcha want? Well… you ain't grabbing it from where I'm standing."
"Soon, father, real soon," Lily said and left. Morrigan smiled at the whole thing, and followed Lily, commenting her on her performance. Buds sighed and looked as Lilith looking at him.
"What?" he asked.
"No present for me?" Lilith asked with a small pout.
Buds grinned a moment. "Whatcha want? Nice dress by the way… did you change your body a bit to fill in?"
"Just a little boob and hip job," Lilith smiled a bit. "I look like some 16 year old girl."
"17, I'd say," Buds nodded. "I'm sorry, Lilith, but I didn't know what to get you."
"More concerned about your daughter?" Lilith asked with her tongue out. "Well, I can't blame you. Still found out who the mother is?"
"No idea…" Buds lied. Of course he had an idea… but that idea was sinking. Morrigan was not the type to cheat, and even if she was… Dimitri is insanely jealous. And from what he gathered earlier, they are still in very good terms. He sighed.
Lilith grabbed his hand. "Come on… you got to relax. Here, share a few drinks with me. That's your Christmas gift, agreed?"
"Agreed," Buds nodded, thinking how Lilith seemed agreeable more than usual and joined the merry crew of casual drinkers and downright drunkards. For a moment, they all shared some conversation, while Keitaro was listening in, probably to learn more on how the supernatural world goes around.
Buds and Lilith both shared some small talks, mostly concerning about the world as it is, while Urd, Hild, and Ryoko were either stoned already, or just having fun. Morrigan herself was now joining in Keitaro as they both began to converse. His quips met her high class talk, and both seemed to hit off fine. After a few moments, Aaron comes back, and takes over Buds' writing, with a skullcap on his head and a tassel on his shoulders. "Ok, everyone, please follow me for a minute or two."
"Alright, lets go, guys," Buds motioned the others to follow.
"Just asking, but is anyone else here a practicing Jew?" stark silence greets his words. "I'll take that as a no. Ok, I'll give you guys the quick version of this. This is the 8th night of Hanukah, a Jewish celebration. Normally, you light a candle for each day in this,"
Aaron pulls out a 7 branched candelabra. "A menorah."
Aaron pulls out a large scroll. "This is the torah, a Jewish holy book. The story of Hanukah goes that long ago, Judea was conquered by the Persians. The Persian emperor Antiocus, came and ruled over the Jews. He was a practitioner of the Greek religion, so he disdained the native faith."
Aaron points to a picture of soldiers tearing down a menorah and putting in a statue of Zeus. "Naturally, the Jews were righteously pissed. So when his troops came to the village of Mattathias, a high priest. Mattathias refused to sacrifice to Zeus, and together with his sons, led a rebellion against the Persians."
Buds raises a hand "Dude... I got a question for ya after all this. But, go on."
Aaron nods and points to a picture of a old man laying back, handing a hammer to a younger man with a beard. "That is Judah, the oldest son of Mattathias. At the time of this picture, Mattathias is dying, and thus names his son Judah as his successor. Judah takes the name 'Maccabee' which means hammer."
Aaron turns the page to an picture of a victorious Judah standing on piles of Persian armor. "Judah and his forces, which were also called Maccabees, eventually defeated Antiocus and drove the Persians out. The temple and city of Jerusalem was re-taken. Unfortunately, the Persians left a mess and the temple had to purified and cleaned up."
Aaron holds up the menorah, and then sets it on a table in the middle of the room. He unrolls the scroll near the menorah. "The temple was repaired and purified, but the supply of blessed oil had been destroyed. So, they went into the storage area, and found one jar, just enough for one day's worth."
Aaron pulls out 9 candles and places them in the candelabra. "But...a miracle happened. The oil lasted for 8 days instead of one." A purple flame appears on the end of Aaron's index finger. "And now, let's light the candles. If anyone has to sneeze, now would be a good time."
Aaron moves his finger to the candle in the center. "This one is called the Shames candle, it's the master candle used to light the others." He picks up the candle, and slowly begins lighting the other 8.
"So, what does Hanukah mean?" Buds pipes up.
"The simplest explanation is best. It means what it describes." Aaron puts the candle down and steps back, allowing the light to fill the room. "Festival of lights." Aaron lowers himself to kneel on one knee.
"You guys can stand or whatever you want. I'm almost done." Aaron takes a deep breath out. "Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu l'hadlik neir (shel) chanukah."
He stands up slowly. Etna whispers in Ryoko's ear. "What language was that?" "It's Hebrew, a very old earth language, and you never told me you spoke it fluently."
Hild looks on with a smile. "The words mean: 'Blessed art thou, our lord our god, king of the universe, who has blessed us and commanded us to light the Hanukah candles tonight.' I never thought you were so... religious."
"After learning all we know, it's funny how we still follow our core religious beliefs, eh?" Buds quips.
Aaron shrugs. "I try to adhere to it, but I'm probably the most unorthodox Jew in existence."
"Nah... Its more of a statement... I really don't care... I just find it funny. And dude..., I'm the weirdest Christian alive... if I'm still one." he says with a smile.
"Christians are weird by nature, but you do seem to be fairly high up on the strange list."
"Come on dude. You really dont call those who post God hates gays' as weird, do you?"
Aaron wags a finger. "Nah. I call em as I see em. They want to be killjoys, let em. As long as they aren't spoiling my fun, let them spout whatever hatemongering they want, right girls?"
Ryoko shakes her head. "Sorry Aaron. This one is strictly an earth thing. This is one of the few planets that's like that."
Etna smirks. "We get a nice supply of prinnies from people like that. They even come ready-broken and whipped."
Aaron tilts his head to the side. "Explain that one."
Etna looks at him with a fanged grin. "They think they're in hell so they just give up and do whatever we say."
Ryoko whistles. "That'll cut yer labor problems..."
"Although, if I recall, there are some Christians-believing prinnies that seem to think its all a bad dream, or a test of god..." Buds pipes up, causing everyone to turn and stare at him. "Laharl told me... "
"Hmmm. Good to know. Hey Hild, what happens to those people in your hell?"
Hild tosses her hair to one side before answering. "We get prinnies as well," Hild looked at Laharl with a smile. "But we really don't do punishments and such. My hell is a place where office work is done. Most of the prinnies are assistants or just there to be stabbed a few times with pens or blades."
"I'd hate to meet your office ladies..." Aaron mutters.
"Oh, they are a well behaved bunch," Hild smiles. "Professionals most of the time... though there are a few ass kissers in times. I just wish they wouldn't be so obvious." She sighs. "But working under me causes... stress. So the prinnies are either stabbed, raped, or thrown out the building 20 stories high."
Aaron looks to the side while whistling. "I could say something very bad about ass kissing right now, but I'm not gonna."
Hild smiles. "Well, I know you two enough to not ass kiss me..." She looks right at Laharl's eyes. "Don't worry, Harlie-kun... you'll be my personal prinny. I won't share you with the crazy office ladies."
"Thanks a lot... I think..." Buds mutters looking at Keitaro, who seemed to chuckle. He rolled his eyes.
"I meant it in a more literal sense" Aaron says whilst looking towards Hild's waist.
Etna smacks Aaron on the head. "Hey! It's my ass you're supposed to kiss, not hers."
"Oh, come on, Etna-san... we can share," Hild said with a wide smile.
"Yeah... go Hild-san... go for Aaron. He's interested," Buds muttered.
"You kidding? You'd have to be dead or gay not to be interested. I may go for anything female, and attractive with two legs, but I'm also a gourmet. And I recognize." Aaron wags his eyebrows up and down. "A true delicacy like this devil in disguise." He says while leaning down and kissing her hand.
Ryoko lets out a low whistle. She leans over to Etna and whispers in her ear. "He's good."
Etna nods with a smile. Buds kicks back onto the couch. "Better you than me dude."
"Says the virgin overlord."
Buds smiles. "I at least won't have problems with 2 girlfriends."
"Shhhhh! Don't say anything, you wanna give them ideas?" Aaron claps a hand over Buds's mouth.
Buds grins. "Says the oversexed... uh... whatever you are."
Aaron lets go of Buds, and pulls out another joint. "And proud of it. You're the only guy more wanted in the supernatural world."
"No I'm not... why would anyone be interested in someone inexperienced as me?" Buds laughs. "Surely, you jest."
Aaron snaps his fingers and ignites the end of the joint. "Not at all. Only reason you're more popular than me is the lust-blood and the fact that I'm taken." Aaron starts. "I completely forgot! You're other Christmas present." He dashes into the next room.
Buds sweatdrops. "Oh boy..." Aaron comes back holding up a small package.
"Compiled from the finest clips of your existence and edited together into one tiny package, it's...DEL'S GREATEST HITS!" Buds slumps back into the chair.
"Oh good god, no..."
Aaron twirls his hand and produces a microphone.
"Hey, how did you do that?" K2 asks.
"Stage magic, kid. It's one to pull some tricks it's another to do it with style. You have to dazzle the crowds." He switches the mike on. "Skip to fights! Hear internal monologues! See me belittle and badger you! Witness his temptations of the flesh! So, who wants dibs?" Aaron holds the disk.
"So, where's the DVD player?" Hild snatches the disk out of his hand. "Oh I haaave to see this..., right this way." She beckons with a come-hither finger. Aaron puts the mike away.
"As the lady wishes." The group follows her into the den, where everyone takes a seat on the various beanbags, chairs, and sofas. He turns the DVD player on and puts the disk in, after taking it out of Hild's hand. "Showtime folks."
"Dude... does holidays mean anything? Come on, it's not funny... hey!"
Aaron sits back on the sofa, putting the skullcap and yamulke down as he does so. "Lighten up. You knew I was going to do this. Here, have a toke." He takes a deep toke on the joint, and then offers it to him.
"I don't smoke... but really..." The DVD whirls as the picture comes into focus. "I just hope you did a good menu."
Aaron blows out a smoke cloud. "Just be glad I didn't bring the X-rated version. The worst part was trying to get stuff from all 3 of you on the same disk." Buds chuckles.
"Laharl won't be happy if you got the part where he was cross dressing."
Etna curls up to Aaron. "Press play and start the movie. If I know Laharl, I'm going to want a copy afterwards."
"I got pretty much everything up to this point in the stories. This is a compressed disk."
Aaron puts an arm around Ryoko and Etna. "Now one warning, do not skip the previews..."
Hild hits the button. "Already did."
Buds turns towards him. "Why? what's wrong?"
The DVD shows an beautiful tropical beach. A voice begins talking. "Do you like hybrids? We do. That's why we're offering you on a special deal, Hybrids gone wild. Featuring: Demon eyes Laharl."
Aaron sighs. "That's why. Shit. Now you're gonna make me split royalties."
"Dude... that's the sickest thing I ever saw." Aaron clicks his tongue. "Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time. And I'm in this part too." A drunken Aaron appears on the screen, wearing an open hawaiian shirt, and no pants.
"PARTY LIKE TO THE 5TH DIMENSION! WOO WOO WOO!" He strikes a sentai pose, sending Ryoko and Etna into convulsions.
"Serious bender at a resort. Ended in a 5 block brawl. I had to sneak out of the drunk tank, after they arrested me blowing up a few bars."
Ryoko wipes the tears from her eyes. "Not bad. I still one-upped you. I started a city wide brawl and didn't get arrested."
Hild points to the screen, where the previews have ended and the feature has begun.
"Hey look, it's Laharl and Lilith."
Aaron looks at the case. "I can't remember which version I grabbed." He looks at some writing on the back. "... huh?" Aaron puts the disk case down. "This is either the clean version, or the x-rated one. I forgot to mark them."
Buds stares at the action onscreen in shock. "... dude... when did this happen?"
"You getting it on with Lilith? Not sure. I think some of these aren't memories, but rather daydreams and thoughts. Your mind is fucking with you." He sits back on the sofa. "Good thing Verdandi isn't here. She'd be pissed at a later scene."
"OMG! Shit, close close!!!"
Urd looks towards Aaron. "Why would she be mad?"
"I impersonated her in an orgy scene." Aaron rubs his chin. "Which was alot of fun, but not doing that again for awhile." He gives a thumbs-up. "You can't even tell it's not her."
Buds is looking increasingly panicked at the screen. "Dude... Lilith isn't the only one I daydream... close the damn DVD already before everyone gets the wrong idea!!!" He whispers hoarsely.
"No way. Hild has the remote. I'm not fighting her for it. Besides, I want to see my blue movie 'debut' " He takes another toke. "I want to see if you guys can tell it's not Verdandi."
Buds is sweating bullets. "OMG... she will never let me hear the end of it... Hild, Morrigan... Tsu... OMG... dude... you're dead... you're dead... dead dead dead..."
Aaron pats Buds on the back. "Oh yes. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah budsy. Enjoy it while you can."
"Naruto... get out here... I'm going back to the cage." Buds's eyes shift to blue.
"No way... I'm sticking here."
"Oh boy. Kid's going to pass out from a nosebleed if he sees this." Ryoko taps Aaron on the shoulder. "Hey, isn't your scene coming up?"
Aaron looks to see a young woman in a flimsy robe walk on the screen. "Yep, that's it." The woman drops the robe and walks into a room.
"Ha! I can still tell it's you. You didn't bother to cover up your black joker mark on your right hand." Etna remarks after a few minutes.
Aaron squints at the screen. "Frell. I knew I forgot something. I'll edit that out in the next version. Still, most people will think it's her there."
"Hey... this is actually fun... well, if we just stick to Aaron's scenes..." Buds says while laying back. "You think Verdy is gonna know?"
"Will she know it's not her? Probably. Will she be able to prove it? No. The black joker mark will be edited out." Aaron looks at his right hand, and a mark lights up for a moment, showing a joker in a black hood with a crest behind it.
Buds stares at the screen. "Oh boy..." "Ah, this next part is weird. It's my female form and Naruto-kun. I know this part is a fantasy." Etna stares open-mouthed.
"Very...limber." Ryoko whistles slowly. "Damn... I didn't know you could do that on a human body..." Urd licks her lips. "I can see why the two of you are so highly...sought after..."
Buds stares blankly. "... I didn't know it was possible."
Hild smiles slightly. "Not bad. Naruto is showing some potential. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, eh boys?" Buds looks towards her.
"And what does that mean?"
Aaron notices his joint has gone out. He re-ignites it with a flame from his finger. "It means, she's wondering if his abilities carry over to the rest of you three."
Aaron leans forward. "IE: Are as good as him, or better?" He holds up the joint. "Anyone else want this?"
Buds shuts his eyes and covers his ears. "I'm a virgin, I'm pure, I don't know shit about sex..." He pulls coke-bottle glasses onto his face and adopts a dorky expression. "See? Doesn't that turn any of you off?"
Aaron shifts to his female form, prompting a start from K2. "Budsy, even I think you're cute when I'm in my female form. And I can't stand you most of the time."
Etna shrugs. "Too much of a little brother vibe for me."
"Not aggressive enough. You have no sense of foreplay. Or at least Naruto doesn't." Ryoko quips.
Aaron stretches his arms up, causing her chest to move. "Girl, you have no idea..."
Buds starts beating his head on the wall. "Good god, all of you don't know anything about sex!! Get turned off! Please!" He turns to Ryoko. "Thank you Ryoko."
Aaron grins and pokes Buds in the chest. "I'm not the one who uses the big O point on Kyubi."
Buds pokes back. "That's low!"
"You going to ask permission to cop a feel, or are you going to stop poking my breasts?" Buds jumps back. "Oh wait, didn't you all know? He knows the big O pressure point."
Buds sinks to the floor. "... omg... I'm dead."
"No. That just now was low."
"No dude... that was kicking low in the balls."
Aaron winks cutely. "What balls?"
Buds rolls his eyes. "Oh quiet."
Ryoko rolls off the couch laughing. Hild's chuckles go almost unheard.
"He's lying by the way! I don't know any big o thingy. don't even know what it means."
Aaron motions with the remote. "Ahem. The big O pressure point. A point designed to be used on female opponents to induce orgasms. Here, I'll skip back to UNNC Chapter 3 or so." He taps a few buttons. "And demonstrates it here."
Buds is looking towards the ground with a doomed expression.
"Laharl darling, what were you hiding from me?" Hild looks down with a sharp glance.
"... nothing...?" Buds says with a fake smile and an angelic expression.
"Dead man walking." Etna mutters. She then leans forward, staring at the screen.
"Maybe I need to revise that little brother thing... he IS pretty good."
Buds facefaults onto the floor. He pushes himself back up. "Thank you for everything, but I think I must go now..." He turns towards the readers. "Happy holidays..."
Aaron is talking with Hild as the readers look toward him. "...And I'm telling you, the big O point is a cheat. I can take pretty much any woman I find attractive and turn them into pussycats on my lap with sheer charm. It's a cop out to actual learning."
Aaron turns towards the readers. "Happy Hanukah folks. Hope you enjoyed the omake special, written by my slacker creator, who just happens to go by my name, self-righteous bastard...Aaron the 2nd trickster priest."
Aaron puts a hand behind his head. "Don't bash us for the writing. This whole fic breaks the 4th wall worse than Deadpool."
Etna nods. "It's a fanfiction thing."
Ryoko gives a thumbs up. "Enjoy the holidays. And be sure to get plenty drunk."
Urd poses for an imaginary camera, which roves up and down her form. "I'm guessing the writer has good tastes, too bad the fic's almost over..." She says with a sultry smile.
Hild swirls a glass of wine in her hand. "I enjoyed myself, usually I have to deal with the worst writers."
Lilith looks up from necking with Lili. "What are you looking at, that was an excellent video... so we're working off some tension." Lili smiles showing a fang.
"Sooner or later, I'll have father dear in the middle."
Buds breaks into a cold sweat. "...Ummmm, merry Christmas, happy holidays, and happy new year if this fic gets delayed too much...I'm so dead..." A large sweatdrop manifests behind his head. Everyone stands up and looks towards the readers.
"HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE CASTS OF K2, UNNC, AND TRINITY CHRONICLES!!" Aaron tilts his shades back onto his face. "Say g'night Budsy."
Buds looks towards him. "What?"
Aaron slaps his forehead. "Forget it..., I should have known you'd botch the joke."
The view fades to black.
A/n: Well, it took a bit longer than I thought, but I managed to get this done for Budsy. Hope you all enjoyed it. Most of the writing for this part is mine, but half credit goes to Demon Eyes Laharl of course. And most of the credit to him for creating the larger storylines and majority of the fic writing. Thanks for reading and enjoy the holidays. Hopefully, Laharl will update UNNC before the year's out... anyway, read and review. Budsy, you're up.
Buds: Well, I really don't know what else to say. Happy Holidays.