MY OWNER: Money can't buy happiness... but it can help you get it if you want

"Well!" Elena sighed, sitting back. "I returned Eric."

"Good for you. Did they give your money back?" Jack asked.

"Nah. I could have these, though." And she showed her friends her new golden earings.

"Beautiful." Sam nodded, comfortable under Martin's arm. "But he really seemed to like you, Elena."

"Yeah, well, he could be bi or something like that, but once he thinks it's worth to spend money with a guy, he's no longer useful to moi."

"That's exactly what I thought!!"

"AAAARGH!" Elena jumped away as Dannys head came from under the table to her lap. "But instead of returning me when I outbid for Martin, she just said 'oh, I'm so glad you like to keep an open mind' and then she purred in a very creepy way..."

"What're you doing here?!"

"I'm hiding from my owner while she's in the bathroom."

Martin chuckled. "Look who's laughing now, uhn?"

Danny disappeared under the table just to reappear close enough to Martin tomake him jump on his chair: "Can't you just imagine yourself in my position for a second?"

"Please, don't mention the word 'position' when you're between my boyfriend's legs, Danny, you're allowing us so many jokes you'd only depress yourself even more." Sam said, nicely, and Martin laughed, kissing her forehead.

"Oh, get a room, you and Wally!" he disappeared and went now towards Jack. "Is Viv coming?"

"Yes, she's right there, and please, please get off me." he pushed Danny's head from his lap back under the table. They saw the younger agent leaving his safety and walking anxiously towards Vivian.

"So? SO?!"

"Calm down, honey. She's giving you up."

"Yes!!" Danny jumped with joy. "Yes!! I'm a free man again!! I love you!!" He kissed Vivian's cheek and the other agent laughed. "You're welcomed."

"What did you say for her to give up the latin lover?"

"Well, Wally, let me tell you." Vivian approached him. "Remember the 'Im a big man' thing?"

"Unfortunatelly, yes." Martin said, bitter.

"I said the oposite."

The truth took a while before hitting Danny. "YOU SAID WHAT?!"

"You can't have if both ways!"

"I don't believe you! Where's my fake lawyer? I want my fake divorce again!" and he walked away - to find the lawyer or to scape general mocking, we'd never know.

"New earings?" Vivian spoted.

Elena shrugged. "Yeah, more useful to me. I guess you pretty much lost your ride home."

"Nah, Danny always forgive me." Vivian said, already taking her purse. "But just so I won't take the risk of waking up tomorrow in pieces and floating by the Statue of Liberty, wanna share a cab?"

Elena sighed. "Well, we were dumped anyway, right?"

"We did not, we ended our relationships in a mutual agreement, nicely and friendly..."

"Bye, girls! See you monday!" Sam said, loud enough for Martin not to hear them as they walked away. She turned smiling. "So. I guess I'm your owner."

"You are, indeed." he smiled back.

"And you're mine for me to do whatever..."

"I'm still here!" Jack said, raising his hand.

Sam not even looked at him. "I don't know why."

The boss roled up his eyes, looking around for Danny to come back and make him company, but he wasn't anywhere at sight. However, someone else showed up to ease that momment.

Martin looked up when he felt a hand squeezing his shoulder loosely and found his father coming to take a seat beside him. "See, eerything turned out fine, son, as I told you so."

Martin did not stop smiling at that comment. "Unless the waiters felt sorry for me and gathered a large sum of tips to save my ass, I'm assuming you gave Sam money enough to buy me."

"Just something I saved to outbid for the boats."

The son wrinkled his face. "You get seasick at the sight of the ocean."

"I brought a thousand dollars, how badly do you think I want that thing? It's called support. You'll understand if you ever get married one day."

Martin squeezed Sam's hand in his softly. Oh, he was going to get marry one day, that's for sure. "Why did you help Sam to buy me?"

Victor nodded his head a few times, trying to find the words. "Well... I just realized you were right. It was not fair of us to ask you to sell your body to a bunch of desperate women. We are your parents, doesn't mean we own you. Besides, Ms. Spade's speach touched my romantic side."

"Oh, that's sweet." Sam said, in a soft voice.

"That's too sweet. What's the real reason?"

"What? Can't an old man have a heart?"

Martin gave him the 'are you kiddin' me' eyes.

"Martin! I just felt really bad! And I was trying to be nice to you, and-" oh, please! None was buying that! "Amy Trott's father's a senator for the democrat party." Victor gave up.

"Wow, for the firsth time in my life I'm actually thankful you're a republican."

Victor raised his glass of champagne. "Nicest thing you said to me tonight." He took a sip and pointed elegantly behind Martin's back. "You're mother s coming"

Martin did his best to look upset, although it was hard with Sam so close. "Ever wonder why I have to call my shrink everytime I meet you, mom?"

Regina did not seem to catch that. "Marty, I'm so proud! You helped those veterans so much..."

"Don't you Marty me, lady! I'll never do you another favor!" he said, not even looking at her.

"Oh, baby, you were so great up there." she proceeded, as if his son was smiling and thanking her the oportunity of being put on sale. "Thanks to you, the veterans will have a better home. Isn't he sweet, Victor?"

"Of course, my dear." he got up to help her with her chair. Trying to avvoy another fight, he asked: "Do you know Ms. Spade already?"

"I'm delighted to meet her." she shook her hand over the table. "Martin, you found yourself the most lovely lady I've ever seen."

"Thank you Mrs. Fitzgerald. You're very kind..."

"Oh, you can call me Regina. Are you coming for Christmas? Is she coming for Christmas?"

Sam laughed softly as Martin blushed once more and tried to fix his mother's rush. "Mom, take it easy, she just bought me."

"You're right, you're right, I'm sorry. Do you have children?"


Jack chuckled. Even Sam could take that question easely. "No, I don't."

"Wanna have children one day...?"

"Look!" Martin said, trying to prevent Sam from running away. "Danny is coming back! DANNY! HURRY UP!"

"Oh, get lost..." he moaned, sadly, letting himself fall on a chair near Jack. "Girls already heard why Lawson gave me up."

"Agent Taylor! You too were great, and Jack..." Regina smiled. "That was..."

"Priceless" Victor grinned.

"Priceless, thank you, honey. Where's that lovely woman that bought you?"

"Right now going home to her husband." he explained. "It was more a charity thing then anything else."

"Good to know there's still people with heart in this world."

Remembering his little scene up stage, Jack thought Viv was everything, but warm hearted.

"What about you, Agent Taylor? Are you coming to dinner tomorrow?"

"Nah, I got dump."

"I am so sorry for you." He shrugged just to show it didn't mind. "You still have tickets for tomorrow night."

"I'll make sure Viv gets this..." he tried to take the tickets, but Sam was faster.

"Uh-uh. I will make sure Viv gets this."

"I'd offer you Audrey's, but she already found herself lovely Mr. O'Neil. What is a good thing, because he was so sad since he was returned."

Danny shrugged once more. "That's ok. Uhn, I just wanna clear up: when I tried to buy your son..."

"Agent Taylor, please! It's your money, you can do whatever you want with it."

"What? No!..."

"That's ok!" she insisted, smiling kindly as Jack and Martin laughed. "It was a good thing. I mean, did you see how many men were trying to buy you, Martin?"

"Oh, yeah, I saw that. It freaked me out for a moment."

"There was a lot!" she said. "So, since this auction was a huge success, I'm thinking maybe another one for african children. What do you think? But next time, I'll let men outbid as well. So, Martin, sweetheart, can I count on..."

"MY OWNER WANTS TO DANCE!" And he grabbed Sam's arm and dragged her to the dance floor.

Regina watched her son disappearing in front of her eyes and sighed. "Guess I won't count on him for much."

Victor covered his wife's hand with his. "Just give him a few months. He'll get over it."

"No, I mean look at them." And pointed to Martin and Sam, now trying to become invisible between the other couples. "They're so cute together."

Victor stared at the couple for a few seconds and shook his head. "She's indeed a pretty woman. And seems to make him happy."

"Yes, she does. And can you imagine her blond curls and his blue eyes in a pink baby face?"

With a smile, Jack and Danny turned to face their friends too. "You know what, Mrs. Fitzgerald? You are right." Danny agreed. "They'd have beautiful children."

"Yeah. Right before uncle Danny spoil them, right?" Jack laughed.

"Sure. With grandpa Jackie's help."

"Grandpa?" Jack turned to Danny. "Hey, I got myself sold for good money, hottie. Hope you know that!"

"Right now all I know is that you called me 'hottie' and that creeps me out."

"Hun, it does not change the fact that I'm worth a lot of cash. Does it, Regi-?" He shut once he noticed the Fitzgeralds looking at both of them. Bad sign. "What?"

"You're both still single." Regina said, slowly. "And you did get a pretty good money- I'm giving their names to Audrey." she got up and left before Danny could yell 'NO WAY' and Jack could even think of running away.

Victor did the same as his wife. "Thank you for all your support, guys."

Both of them waited in silence for a second.

"Think she's going to put a pole on stage and ask me to dance?"

"I'm just hoping she won't ask me to put a potato inside my pants after what Vivian said."

"We are killing Martin, right?"

"Oh, we are so killing him."