Disclaimer: I do not own Yuyu Hakusho
Hiei stared at the dawning sky. It was late and Hiei couldn't sleep. Something was on his mind. It was everything and everyone. He was reviewing his years of knowing the people he knew. He couldn't stop thinking about them.
They had all wanted one thing from him. They wanted him to open up to them. They all knew of his depression, his hurt, his pain. They all knew and they couldn't help him. They didn't know how to help him. He had always been like this but now it was different.
Hiei hadn't talked to any of them for months. He didn't see the point. He didn't want to continue within their presence any longer. Now that she was gone he couldn't find it in him to continue life without her.
He had watched as she was killed. They didn't have a reason, they were just killing her. Hiei killed them and pulled her into his arms and she smiled at him. Hiei couldn't hold back his sorrow and a tear gem fell from his eyes.
"It will be okay. I'll be fine." She had whispered to him. Hiei heard the words but couldn't see their truth. He knew she was dying and he couldn't bear to take it any longer. Hiei laid his head on her chest and cried. Tear gems scattered everywhere and they were all for her.
She ran her fingers through his hair and smiled at him, a few tears slipping down her face. Her breathing slowed and her eyes shut as her hand fell form Hiei's head. Hiei just held her tightly to him and cried. The team couldn't do anything but watch as Hiei cried over their teammate, Botan.
They couldn't pull Hiei away from her so they just pulled Hiei up and took her to her grave. Hiei didn't go to her funeral. He didn't dare watch her be put into a dark earthy chamber. After that day the team didn't see Hiei again for a while. He visited Yukina once during the months he was gone and they all tried to help him recover. Hiei once again left.
"Hiei, I know you're up there. Please come down." The voice of Hiei's old friend, the Kitsune, called out. Hiei looked down. He had tried to hide but knew he never could. The fox had found him.
"Why should I? There's not a point in it." Hiei said sadly. Kurama sighed called out again.
"Please come down and talk to us and then we will leave you alone forever if you want us too." Kurama said. Hiei couldn't resist the offer and hoped out of the tree. Kurama smiled sadly at him.
"You've grown a lot over the months Hiei." Kurama stated. Hiei didn't care.
"Yeah, it's amazing what the loss of your loved one can do isn't it?" Hiei said sadistically. Kurama nodded his head.
"Hiei, please come to the temple with me and see the group one last time." Kurama pleaded. He wasn't ordering Hiei to do it, he was asking him.
"Why do you all want to see me so badly? Seeing you all will just bring me pain. Aren't I in enough pain as it is?" Hiei asked angered.
"Hiei, we aren't trying to bring you more pain. We just want to see you one last time." Kurama said. Hiei just dropped his head and followed Kurama to the temple.
Kurama held the door open for Hiei. Hiei didn't say anything but just walked in. He went and sat on the window sill. All was silent. Yusuke was the first to go up to Hiei. Hiei didn't look at him or even acknowledge him.
"Hiei, I can't say I know how you feel because I don't. I do feel bad for you but you can't waste your life away. Botan wouldn't have wanted that. You and I both know that. Botan loved you and you her so why do you put her soul in so much pain?" Yusuke asked softly. Hiei turned towards him sharply. A glare was held in Yusuke's direction.
"I can't move on detective! You have no idea how hard I have tried just to forget the pain and how I know she still loves me! I can't sleep most nights because my mind is filled with her smile, her eyes, everything. Do you have any idea how nerve racking that is? You couldn't understand Detective. You still have the love of your life, I don't!" Hiei yelled at Yusuke. Yusuke nodded and walked off. Kuwabara walked up next.
"Hiei, I know you hate me. I know you can't stand me being with Yukina, so I'm just going to leave you with this small message. You can grieve forever but when the time comes to move on will you be ready? Will you be able to live life again like Botan would have wanted? If you could then why do you try so hard to keep her death in your thoughts? You couldn't do anything about it. The past is the past and no one can change that." Kuwabara said and walked off. Hiei just glared at the rain that was now pouring down. Kurama came up to him next.
Kurama didn't say anything, just stood there watching the rain with Hiei. Hiei was waiting for Kurama to say some motivational speech but none ever came. Hiei turned towards Kurama and glared.
"Well Fox? Are you going to say something words of wisdom as well?" Hiei asked furiously. Kurama just shook his head.
"Why should I? I mean would you listen to what I would say? Would it even matter to you if I never said anything to you and you just left and we never spoke again? Would you even care?" Kurama asked Hiei. Hiei looked back at the window. Kurama sighed sadly and started to walk off.
"I would care Fox. That's why I'm here. I needed to hear you all one last time." Hiei said sadly. Kurama smiled as a tear slipped his eye. Yukina just sat in her chair staring at the rain.
"These will be my last words to you most likely so listen to them well. I've heard everything you wanted me to hear. I heard it all so don't think I just dismissed it into space. I can't take your words to heart. I can't take anything to heart anymore. Not while Botan is gone from my life. I have become an empty shell living in this hated world. I wish I could move on, trust me I do. You all have no idea how much this pain hurts. I know it hurts you all because you lost a dear friend but to me she was more than that. I couldn't even say a proper goodbye to her. I now need to say one to you all.
"I will miss you all. You have melted my heart and fixed me right. You all had much purpose in my life but now you have only brought me thoughts of my loved one. That of which brings me much pain and suffering. I wish you all the best in everything and I wish Botan was still here but she's not. So now I must go home." Hiei said. Kurama gave him an odd look and Yusuke didn't understand at all. Kuwabara just sighed and Yukina let a tear gem fall. She ran up to Hiei and hugged him.
"Goodbye brother. We will all miss you forever. I hope to meet up with you again." Yukina cried. Hiei hugged Yukina back.
'I do hate to see you like this-"Yukina stopped Hiei.
"I understand what you need to do. Go to her." Yukina whispered. Hiei nodded his head. Hiei walked out the door and sped off to Botan's grave. Everyone heard Hiei cry out and then all went silent. Everyone hung their heads low.
"Goodbye Hiei." Kurama said. Yusuke sighed and sat down.
"He's going home." Yusuke said as a tear slipped down his cheek. Kuwabara just stood there unmoving.
"He's moved on to a better place where he was needed by Botan. Let's all be happy for them both." Kuwabara said sadly. Everyone nodded their heads. Yukina sat on the window sill that Hiei sat on everyday and looked out the window.
"We'll miss you Hiei. We'll all miss you." Yukina sighed. Everyone heard a voice.
"I'll miss you all too. I'll be waiting for you all." It was Hiei and Botan's voice. Kurama smiled as a few tears slipped down his face. Yusuke lay down on the couch and went off into space. Kuwabara sat down on the chair waited.
They were all waiting for it to just be a bad dream. They all wanted to wake from the nightmare but it was impossible. Everything for Hiei was a nightmare as was the same for Botan. Now they were all waiting for it to get worse like nightmares always do.
The stroy was named after the very ending of the story. If you want me to add a second chapter so you can know what the next part of their nightmare is please tell me in the review. Well please review!