MP5 Presents: A Konoha Marksman Christmas
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, which is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. All trademarks herein are copyright their respective owners.
And Now, onto the story...
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Uzumaki Estates; December 24th (A/N: Place this christmas date somewhere Post-Chunin Exams, Pre- Sasuke Retrieval Arc), 11:00 P.M
Naruto had just finished making preparations for tomorrow's Christmas Day party while his girlfriend, Hinata, slept peacefully tucked under the covers in his room. As Naruto went upstairs to join her (not in the same bed, mind you, or Hiashi would castrate him with a Batangas/Butterfly knife), he went to his laptop computer and connected to the Konoha Defense Systemwhere he could get information on the latest happenings, which included a live radar feed. Naruto pulled up said feed and noticed things were mostly normal.
He was about to log off when he saw two objects suddenly appear on the radar and move toward the center of the screen. The one closer to the center of the screen was unidentified, while the object following it had an IFF (Identify, Friend or Foe) tag that said it originated from the U.S. airbase in Okinawa, Japan. As the two objects edged closer to the center, Naruto tensely watched as the U.S. fighter closed in on the bogey when suddenly, the bogey disappeared off the radar and the U.S Fighter streaked into the center and then exited on the other side of the screen. Naruto closed his laptop, wondering what exactly was going on. Suddenly, he heard a loud crash occur outside Uzumaki estates that was loud enough to jolt Hinata out of bed and onto the floor. Naruto turned around to check on Hinata at the sound of her hitting the floor, and immediately whirled around violently to yank a tissue from a box on his desk so that he could stem the sudden flow of blood from his nose, as per standard procedure for when he saw Hinata in her nightgown whenever she slept over at his house. Naruto now had a temporary blush across the middle of his face, for he had seen his girlfriend in a rather compromising position.
When Naruto turned around for that one moment, he saw Hinata, dressed in a red and pale pink nightgown that clung to her curves and accentuated her developing chest and cleavage, alleviating the ache from the fall by massaging the middle of her right buttock while leaning on her side. Finally, Naruto felt calm enough to ask Hinata if she was all right without saying something inappropriate or stumbling over his words.
Such a case has involved a day at the beach, Hinata dressing in a stunning/revealing outfit, and the Hyuuga clan heiress asking, "How do I look, Naruto-kun?" The response that day went something like this:
"(nosebleed) W-well, Hinata-chan, I think I breast--er, best tell you the truth. I-I think you look sex--I mean, stunning! Yeah, that's the word I was looking for! The cu--er, color certainly matches your um, eyes!(1) Yes, your beautiful round eyes..."
Hinata had some amusement that day at Naruto's expense, and realizing what he was going to say, had he not caught himself on certain words, spent a good amount of the day with a light blush on her face. Now, Hinata saw Naruto with his back turned to her strictly out of courtesy. Smiling, Hinata got up as Naruto asked his question.
"You all right, Hinata-chan?" asked Naruto, still facing the window.
"Yes, Naruto-kun. All is well." replied Hinata, sitting herself on the bed. "What was that noise?" she asked as she put a bathrobe on and tied it at her waist.
"I don't know. You want to go check it out?" asked Naruto.
"Sure, Naruto-kun. I don't want you to lose sleep over it."
"Then I'll wait outside the room while you get dressed in proper gear. It's snowing outside, and it's also about 31 degrees."
Naruto then walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, nostrils still occupied by tissue. Naruto sighed. Between Jiraiya, his Blackwater buddies Ike, Kyle, Ryan, and his sensei Kakashi, there was just way too much perverted testosterone in Konoha.
Naruto felt he was thrown into the mix at a rather inopportune section of his life. As a teenager just finishing out puberty, he had his wilder-than-thou hormones to deal with, and Kyuubi's occasional mischief didn't help. The last time he was sleeping alone, Kyuubi gave him a mental slide show of Hinata in various states of undress, poses, and compromising positions. Poor Naruto woke up in the afternoon to find his other pillow dyed red from the blood which had profusely leaked from his nose during that accursed mental slide show. Also, being the Americans and soldiers that they were, Ike, Kyle, and Ryan had lad magazine posters and pinups covering the walls of their rooms. This was the sole reason why Naruto felt more comfortable speaking to them either individually or all at once as long as he stayed outside any of their rooms. That way, it would be less distracting.
Naruto's thoughts were finally stopped when Hinata walked out of his room dressed in her winter coat, scarf, gloves, hat, jeans, and snow boots. Naruto grabbed his jacket and gloves as the two went downstairs and out the back door. A few paces into the backyard, they stopped behind a tree and saw a sight they'd never believed. In Naruto's snow-covered back yard stood 8 temporarily disoriented and confused reindeer attached by bell-strewn harnesses to a red sleigh turned onto its side, puffs of Grey smoke coming out of a mangled and open panel. Naruto turned off the safety on his Hellfire Fox handgun just in case while he pulled out a Surefire U2 Ultra flashlight and held down the thumb switch at the base of the light. He and Hinata crept around to the other side of the off-kilter sleigh and received the biggest surprises of their lives. Naruto shined the flashlight on the source of nearby grumbling, which was coming from none other than Santa Claus (AKA Jolly old Saint Nick, AKA Saint Nicholas, AKA Father Christmas, etc.)! Naruto lessened the intensity of his flashlight and Hinata helped him pull Santa onto his feet. The two Chunin still couldn't believe their luck at meeting Santa Claus, a person they usually thought a myth perpetrated by adults to get their children into bed. Still, for a few seconds, Santa grumbled and then returned to his normal cheerful personality.
"Thank you for helping me, Naruto and Hinata." said Santa.
"How do you know our names?" asked Hinata, still in a state of disbelief.
"It's not that I'm necessarily omniscient, but it's because I have access to government satellites and listings of people and their families that I know your names." replied Santa. "Now, I need your help." he continued. "A U.S. Airman that must've taken one to many 'Go' pills shot me down over Konoha (Won't he be surprised to find coal in his jet's air intakes come morning, by the way), and I need to make some repairs. However, I still have to deliver presents, but I'll be behind schedule if I have to fix my jet-powered Sleigh. So could you accept a mission from me and deliver these presents to the rest of Konoha?"
"Sure, Santa!" replied Naruto after thinking about it with Hinata. "Hinata-chan and I are certainly up to the task!"
"That's a relief to hear." said the large present-giver. He pulled out two wrapped packages and handed each one to Naruto and Hinata.
"Consider these extra Christmas presents in the addition to the ones I originally had for you. In case anyone sees you two from a distance, they will assume it is me and an assistant and not you two. These uniforms will protect you from the elements without sacrificing mobility and comfort. Now, once you're both dressed, grab the presents and begin delivering them via whichever safe method you chose, as long as they arrive intact. Now please hurry!"
Moments later, Naruto opened his garage door to reveal his outfit, which was basically a more Christmassy version of his tactical assault gear, but augmented by Under Armor for maximum mobility and warmth plus an obligatory Santa hat. However, when Hinata joined him, Naruto had to fight back a nosebleed as he looked her up and down. Hinata was dressed in a red Under Armor legged leotard camisole with white trimmings, over which she wore a form-fitting half-zipped hoodie. Completing her outfit were a red pleated thigh-length skirt, black thigh-high stockings and red insulated boots with white fur trim. She smiled at Naruto, whose reaction caused her to giggle.
"You know, Naruto-kun, if you keep staring at me, we'll never be able to deliver those presents." said Hinata, a slight blush now overtaking her face.
"Guhhhhh...buh? What? Oh, right!" said Naruto, a line of red crossing his face. After pulling up his red Hatake-style mask, he pulled the covers off his recently-purchased Gorilla Electric Vehicles E-ATV 36, started it up, and loaded the presents on an attached trailer. As he hopped on, Hinata got on behind him, pulled up her own Hatake-style mask and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's abdomen as Naruto pulled out of the garage and onto the driveway. As they picked up speed, Hinata hugged Naruto tighter to hold on, and while the driver liked the intimate contact, he couldn't help but suspect Santa may have gotten some ideas from Jiraiya and he even suspected that 'Santa' was Ero-sennin himself! Naruto concentrated on the task at hand however, as they began delivering presents. First stop: Tenten's house.
At Tenten's house, Naruto stopped the ATV and pulled out of the present bag Tenten's Christmas gift, which the list identified as a box set with about 40 Batangas/Butterfly knives, a bandolier holster for them, and a maintenance and care kit. An expensive, yet fitting gift, considering Tenten always played with sharp toys and would appreciate the value of handcrafted Filipino fighting knives. Having done security plans before, Naruto knew that in order to make his delivery easier, he would have to bypass the security system, easier said then done. However, Disarming it was certainly easier, as its power supply was separate from the rest of the house. Communicating by radio, Naruto handed Hinata a pair of bolt cutters and the two split up. Despite his knowledge that Tenten was a surprisingly heavy sleeper, Naruto did not wish to take any chances and set off a specially-made tranquilizer gas grenade he wedged in the crack of Tenten's bedroom window. Finally, he got in position and sent out the command over radio.
"Hinata, cut the power!"
Hinata brought the two handles of the bolt cutter together, effectively splitting the power cable for the security system. As soon as that was done, Hinata said "Go!" over the radio and Naruto lifted another window, propped it open with a carbon rod and snuck inside. He stealthily made his way to the living room and planted the present under the tree. Outside, Hinata suddenly panicked when she saw the security system's green computer screen display: "Switching to emergency power. 10 seconds to reboot..."
"Naruto-kun!" said Hinata hurriedly. "The security system's rebooting! You have 9 seconds to get out of there before you get caught! Run!"
Naruto did not need to be told twice, and whirled around. It was a long hallway, and he had 8 seconds to get through that window and close it before the lasers caught him and triggered the alarm, thus prompting Tenten to turn him into swiss cheese with her kunai and other weaponry. Naruto took off, charging his legs with Chakra to make it out. At three seconds left, Naruto stumbled and nearly fell to the ground. At 2 seconds, he leapt through the tight opening in the window, removing the carbon rod propping it open. When the system turned back on, the window was closed securely, and Naruto lay in his stomach in the snow. Hinata walked back around the house and helped him up. After dusting himself off, Naruto spoke.
"Well, now the hardest house is done. The rest of these deliveries should be a cakewalk. Shall we go, Hinata-chan?"
"Hai, Naruto-kun. I'll deliver the present for the next house."
Hopping on the ATV, the two stopped at the Sarutobi compound next. It was here Hinata donned her red Hatake mask and hop the fence with Konohamaru's present strapped to her back, a Tokyo Marui Boys Series M4A1 AEG. Leaping onto the roof, she secured a nylon rope to the top of the chimney by driving a grappling hook securely into the concrete and brick of the chimney. Making sure the fireplace wasn't lit, Hinata descended down the recently-cleaned chimney rather quickly despite the limited space. Crawling out the opening, she stood up and dusted herself off as she unslung Konohamaru's present and was just about to place it under the tree when Konohamaru himself walked in, albeit groggy and still half asleep. As soon as he saw Hinata's red and white-clad figure through half-lidded eyes, he engaged in conversation.
"Santa? I didn't know you were a girl." said Konohamaru.
"I'm not Santa, Konohamaru-kun." replied Hinata, trying to keep her identity secret. "I am his Kunoichi assistant, though. He ran into some problems with his sleigh, so while he's fixing that, I'm helping deliver his presents with another ninja helper."
"Really? That's so cool!" said Konohamaru, wide awake for the briefest moment.
"I guess it is." replied Hinata. "Now, you better get back to sleep, or your present won't be under the tree when you wake up in the morning."
"Yes, ma'am." said Konohamaru, yawning. Instead of going to the trouble to find his way back to his room, he curled up on the couch, wrapped a comforter around himself, and was soon sound asleep. Hinata smiled at this, and after tucking his present under the tree, she pulled down her Hatake mask and kissed him on the forehead.
"Merry Christmas, Konohamaru-kun."
Hinata pulled up her mask and then teleported out of the living room and back onto the roof. Meanwhile, Konohamaru sighed contentedly. It may not have been Santa, but from now on, he'd rather have a beautiful and mysterious Kunoichi delivering his Christmas. presents than a fat jolly old man.
Outside, Hinata jumped down from the roof and landed next to Naruto.
"Konohamaru's such a sweet little boy." she commented.
"I guess." replied Naruto. "But remember that the young leaf doesn't fall far from the tree. I'll bet that when he grows older, he'll either become a closet pervert like his grandpa, or a smoker like his uncle. I'm willing to bet it's the former."
"How can you say such a thing, Naruto-kun?" asked Hinata as she got on the ATV behind Naruto.
"Well, I remember that when he first met Tsunade-baa-chan, he made the mistake of crashing into her and unknowingly rubbing his face in her cleavage. That could've happened to you, actually.
Hinata played over the situation in her mind:
Konohamaru, half asleep, walks into the living room, eyes still blurred with sleep. He sees a red and white human form. "Santa!" he thinks, and runs toward Hinata. She turns around, thinking "Oh no! He'll find out who I am for sure!"
Poomf - Konohamaru walks right into her chest. Hinata opens her eyes after the collision and sees Konohamaru rubbing his face in between her breasts.
"I don't know what's going on, Santa, but you've got nice soft ones, even if they're not as big as Tsunade's..." commented a content Konohamaru. Hinata gave a horrified squeak and propelled the the perverted little boy away from her. He ended up flattened against the wall, and flat as a pancake, he floated down to the ground.
"Ah couldn't hep masehb..." said Konohamaru, his face having been rearranged.
Hinata turned red at the thought of such a thing happening.
"I sure hope that won't happen to me tonight." said Hinata. "I don't want to end up using Jyuuken on someone!"
"Don't worry then." Said Naruto, slowing down the ATV. "I'll take care of the next house."
The house in question belonged to Moegi, the self-proclaimed Kunoichi of the Konohamaru Corps. Hopping off the ATV, Naruto grabbed another Tokyo Marui Boys Series AEG, this time, an HK MP5A5 for Moegi. Hinata took her position under the window Naruto was going to enter through. Cracking the window open with a lever, Naruto got a boost from Hinata before he widened the opening in the windowsill and stole inside. Once in the house, he noted the lack of light in the house, and that the lighting on the christmas tree consisted of fiber-optic wire lights. Seeing that these didn't provide good night vision, Naruto pulled out a pair of AN/PVS-7 night vision goggles and activated them so that he could make his way through the living room. After setting down the present, he saw on a nearby table that Moegi had left two still-warm Ziploc bags full of Peanut Butter and Chocolate brownies and two cold bottles of milk. Naruto paused for a moment, considering his options.
'Well, it would be a waste if I didn't take it.' thought Naruto. So, he scooped up the brownies and milk in his arms and hopped outside the window, closing it behind him before he hopped down from the windowsill. Hinata was puzzled as to what had taken her boyfriend so long when she caught a bag of brownies and a bottle of cold milk Naruto tossed to her.
"Eat up, Hinata-chan." said Naruto, taking a bite out of a brownie. Washing it down with some milk, he added, "We'll need the energy."
Nodding, Hinata consumed her share before getting back onto the E-ATV behind Naruto as they sped off to the next house. Finally, they stopped at Udon's house, as he was the last member of the Konohamaru Corps on their list. Hinata took charge of this one, pulling a Tokyo Marui Boys Series AK-47 Beta Spetsnaz AEG off the trailer and securing it to her back. This time, Naruto gave her a boost into a window she found slightly open. Crawling inside, she encountered no problems and was quickly able to place the present under the tree. Turning around, she noticed Udon sleeping soundly on the couch when the seemingly-perpetual snot drip hanging out of his nose caught her eye.
"He shouldn't have to sleep like this." said Hinata to herself. Taking a nearby tissue box, She pulled out a sheet and wiped it off, only to see another drip take its place. Frowning, she took another and repeated the process. She was about to reach for another when she heard Naruto calling her outside the window in a harsh whisper.
"Psst! Hinata-chan! What's taking so long? We have to keep moving!" hissed Naruto. Hinata stuck her head out the window in response.
"But... but Udon-kun's nose..." began Hinata, only to be interrupted by Naruto.
"I know! Crazy, isn't it? But that doesn't matter now, we have to get these presents to the others! Just jam a Kleenex up his nose and let's blow out!"
Now, Hinata was too kind to just rudely shove a tissue into a little boy's nose, so she took the the tissue box and placed it next to Udon's head. She climbed out the window and shut it tightly, suspecting it to be the cause of that perpetual snot-drip. Without another word, she climbed onto the ATV behind Naruto and they sped off to Kiba's house.
Upon arrival, Naruto hopped off and grabbed Kiba and Akamaru's presents off the trailer and avoided the ventilation shafts as an entry point-- the Inuzuka clan is known for their sense of smell-- and went for a more direct entry through his window, even if he had to walk over to the other side of the house. However, as soon as he stepped inside, he heard some growling as well as something pulling at his pant leg. It was Akamaru. Naruto began to panic. Kiba was going to wake up if he heard this!
"Akamaru... Now... is not... the time...!" whispered Naruto angrily. I swear to god, I am going to punt you if you don't cut that out! Searching for a nearby object, he found a ball and waved it to catch Akamaru's attention. Akamaru let go of Naruto's leg and concentrated on the ball.
"See this, Akamaru?" said Naruto. He then flung the ball out the window. "Fetch!" Akamaru obediently leapt out after it. Using the time wisely, Naruto simply set Kiba and Akamaru's presents on a nearby desk and then hopped out the window. Outside, Hinata asked him what took so long.
"Did something happen, Naruto-kun?" asked Hinata concernedly.
"Yes." replied Naruto. "Akamaru happened to me and bit my pant leg. When he wouldn't let go, I was ready to punt that little sucker out the window had I not found his favorite chew toy."
"Naruto! That's just cruel!" said Hinata, shocked. "How could you even think such a thing?!"
"Sorry. It's just that I was going to lose my temper." said Naruto. "Please forgive me?"
"Naruto, I'm not so sure I can. That's just plain horrible. Violence towards animals? That's really lo--" began Hinata, but stopped short when she saw Naruto's face, Hatake mask pulled down. He was using one of the most powerful weapons in any relationship: the puppy-dog eyes. Immediately, Hinata tried to fight off its cuteness and persuasive power, but she lost her morale when Naruto added that tremble to his lips, looking as if he were about to shed a tear.
"Oh, Naruto-kun, you know I can't stay mad at that face." said Hinata reluctantly. Suddenly, she felt herself being hugged, and even kissed on the cheek.
"Thank you, Hinata-chan!" said Naruto, releasing her. A faint line of pink crossed her face and stayed there. Meanwhile, Naruto thought to himself, SUCCESS! PUPPY-EYES JUTSU!
'Great.' thought Hinata. 'Now, I'll be spending the rest of the night with this blush on my face. But you know what? I don't care. It was Naruto-kun that triggered it, and nothing more needs to be said.'
Naruto and Hinata proceeded on to the next house, the Aburame compound. Since Hinata knew where Shino's room was, she took care of this house as she took the boxed present from the attached trailer and climbed in through his bedroom window. She made sure to mask her Chakra to avoid detection against his sensitive Kikai bugs and placed the present on his desk.
It was on her way out that she noticed something about Shino that no one could possibly know. He snored! And it wasn't the "imitation Darth Vader Respirator" kind, either. He sounded like he was sawing logs! Hinata was already tickled upon hearing the sound, but looking at his face, she nearly died of laughter on the spot. Shino's face looked completely opposite of how she normally saw him. His jaw was completely extended open, as was his mouth, and his tongue actually hung out the side of his mouth slightly. Resisting the urge to snicker, Hinata wisely hopped out the window before she burst out laughing. As soon as she shut the window, she sank to the ground snickering, and then let loose a small burst of full-blown laughter before sighing happily. Naruto then came to check on her.
"What's so funny, Hinata-chan?" asked Naruto.
"It's nothing, Naruto-kun." replied Hinata. "Besides, you wouldn't believe it if I told you!"
Seconds later, Naruto was rolling and laughing on the ground along with Hinata. Finally, they both got up and got back on the ATV, still having quite a few presents to deliver.
The next house to deliver to was none other than the Hyuuga Family Branch house. Naruto took care of this one, handing Hinata a pair of binoculars to use in conjunction with her Byakugan. That way, she could alert Naruto in regards as to where the guards were looking. That's right, even on Christmas eve, the Hyuuga branch family is ever-vigilant. Thankfully, Naruto moved quickly and was blessed with the fact that the Hyuuga guardsmen did not use their Byakugan so that they could save their Chakra. Naruto disappeared into Neji's room, and approximately 5 minutes later, came out looking sheepish. It was Hinata's turn to inquire.
"Something happen in there, Naruto-kun?" asked Hinata.
"Let's just say I'm lucky your cousin's a very heavy sleeper." replied Naruto.
(5 minutes ago)
Naruto entered the window in Neji's bedroom. As soon as he shut the window, albeit gently, A stack of dominoes atop a shelf began moving, knocking each other over. At the end of the row of dominoes was a 2-pound medicine ball that rolled over the edge of a bookshelf and slammed into a book on the occupied shelf that didn't fit quite right. This triggered the sudden descent of all the books on the shelf onto the hardwood floor. Naruto did his best to catch all the falling objects, but when he sneezed, half the objects in his hands fell onto the floor, causing some noise. Amazingly, Neji snored loudly through all this, and despite the noise, merely shifted his position on his bed and muttered, "Of course I'll join you in the hot springs, Tenten-chan. It is Co-ed..."
"Wow." said Hinata. "I'm surprised at two things: One, Neji is a heavy sleeper, and two, He has fantasies when it comes to Tenten. Are you sure you're not making this up?"
"I swear I'm not, Hinata-chan." replied Naruto. "I couldn't even if I tried."
Next, the two proceeded to Rock Lee's house and Hinata dropped off Rock Lee's Present, a complete set of paintball equipment, with a Tippmann A5 semi-auto Marker, CO2, paintballs, facemask, hopper, loading tubes, and even the typical jumpsuit for competition. As soon as that was done, Naruto and Hinata proceeded over to the Uchiha Compound, this being their first time there. It was desolate, lifeless, and most of all, lonely. Naruto had Hinata pinpoint Sasuke's room with her Byakugan, and as soon as she pointed it out, Naruto leapt over the outer walls and made his way towards Sasuke's residence. A minute or two of running led Naruto to Sasuke's bedroom window. Naruto silently opened the window, stepped inside, and tiptoed quietly to Sasuke's bedroom desk. Suddenly, Sasuke talked in his sleep, causing Naruto to stop in his tracks. Sasuke seemed to be having a nightmare according to the context of his dialogue.
"Damn you, Itachi! You may have me tied down, but not even your Tsukuyomi can scare me! What the... Oh dear god! Orochimaru's here too? AHHH!! Help! They're going to rape me! No! No, not there! Get away from me, you perverted snake! I don't want you sticking ANYTHING up my butt!" screamed Sasuke in his sleep.
Needless to say, Naruto was disturbed. Suddenly, a head of blue hair popped up from under the covers beside Sasuke. It was Mitsuko, but luckily for Naruto she depended on her hearing while she wasn't fully awake. Immediately, she hugged Sasuke from behind, comforting the scared and mentally violated Uchiha who currently had tears coming out of his closed eyes.
"Shh, shh. It's all right, Sasuke-kun. You're safe. Don't worry, I'll hang those fangirls after the holidays are over for scarring your mind with that filthy smut they posted on the Internet involving you and other boys."
Mitsuko's words prompted Naruto to carry on silently and he placed Mitsuko and Sasuke's presents on his bedroom desk. Good thing Hinata urged him to bring Mitsuko's present just in case. Leaving the two presents on the desk, Naruto picked up a flyer(2) he found on the desk that may have been advertising the cause of Sasuke's nightmares and quickly made his way out of the room. Throughout the rest of the night, Naruto and Hinata finished delivering the various presents in record amounts of time. When they arrived at the Uzumaki compound, they noticed that Santa had already left, having fixed his sleigh. He left a note thanking them for their help and mentioned that their presents from him were waiting under the tree, and as long as they got their sleep, would be there in the morning. Realizing that they could wear tonight's outfits sans Hatake masks for the Christmas party tomorrow, they immediately opted change into their nightwear (one at a time to avoid any nosebleeds or embarrassments), kissed each other good night, and went to sleep.
Hours later, the two woke up refreshed despite how long they were outside late last night. Getting dressed in last night's costumes and leaving their Hatake masks in the room, They came downstairs and found their presents to each other and from Santa under the tree. While no one else arrived, They decided to open their own presents. Hinata's resents were a Fox plushie with a diamond necklace around its neck as an extra-special present for Hinata from Naruto, and as for her other present, well, it was a particular type of clothing that she would definitely look forward to using when She and Naruto slept together again tonight. She made sure to keep it a surprise, just for her and her beloved. Meanwhile, Naruto received a Tokyo Marui AK-47 Beta Spetsnaz AEG with a complete set of equipment including BB's, two batteries, a box of STAR 30-round standard-capacity magazines and two 250-round High-capacity wind-up magazines. Hinata's gift to him was nothing short of sentimental. She gave him a dog-tag style locket with two tags that attached to each other, one with a picture of her, one tag with a picture of him. On the back of each dog tag were stamped the words, "No bullet, bomb, or blade will destroy the love we have for each other." Placing it around his neck, he smiled and turned to Hinata and the two shared a tender embrace.
"Merry Christmas, Hinata-chan." whispered Naruto.
"Merry Christmas, Naruto-kun." replied Hinata. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of visitors. Putting on their Santa hats, they answered the door and were met by three excited academy students.
"Merry Christmas!" chorused the Konohamaru Corps.
"Merry Christmas, you guys." replied Naruto, ushering them in. Hinata remained at the door to greet the stream of guests coming in. Asuma, Kurenai, Kiba and Shino had already shown up.
"Merry Christmas, everyone!" greeted Hinata cheerfully.
Hinata." greeted Asuma.
"Sorry we're so early, but Konohamaru was so eager to get here that he yanked me clean out of my bed."
"Perfectly fine, Asuma-sensei." replied Hinata. "I'll take your coat."
"Thank you, Hinata."
As Hinata greeted the rest of the guests, Naruto sat down with the Konohamaru Corps and all of them had their presents in hand.
"Santa gave me an airsoft gun for Christmas. What do you think that says?" asked Naruto.
"It probably means he doesn't want you using real bullets so often, Naruto-nii-san." replied Konohamaru. That response eclicted a laugh from the rest of the group, embarrassing Naruto slightly.
"All right, all right. I get it. I'm a little trigger happy." said Naruto, downplaying his usage of small arms.
"A little?" said Konohamaru. "Are you kidding me? You tore up an entire city block during the siege! And there weren't any bad guys in the area at all!"
"Shut up and open your presents." retorted Naruto, his mood soured. The three academy students in front of him complied and were genuinely surprised that they all got airsoft guns as presents.
"Guess what this means, kiddies. It means wargaming is ready to happen. we can now test each other's skills to the fullest without the risk of killing anyone. Just make sure to call your hits. I don't like wasting high-capacity magazines. Especially if it has to be at 10 feet with only one person to hit."
Immediately, The Konohamaru Corps gulped. Naruto could be scary if he wanted to...
Minutes passed, and as they did, more guests began arriving and exchanging presents with everyone. Then, those minutes turned to hours without people showing up. Naruto was a tad annoyed.
"Where is that tardy Jounin?" asked Naruto out loud.
"You'd think he'd show up on time on a holiday, at least." commented Kurenai.
"Ten Ryou says he uses the same old, tired excuse." said Sasuke.
"You're on." said Kiba.
Almost as if their words had triggered it, Kakashi appeared in a swirl of smoke, pine needles, and snow.
"Sorry I'm late, everyone. I got lost on the road of life." said Kakashi.
"Pay up." said Sasuke. Kiba grudgingly planted 10 Ryou in the Uchiha's open hand.
"All right!" said Naruto. "Now we can start opening presents. Tsunade-sama, you go first."
Tsunade opened her gift box to reveal... a stress ball.
"Are you trying to say something, Naruto-kun?" said Tsunade, clenching her fist.
"W-wait!" said Naruto, waving his hands in front of him. "That stress ball is meant as an alternative to your use of Sake! No offense, but when you get stressed out, drinking won't solve your problems. So I made you a stress ball. And since it can't be an ordinary stress ball, I added a layer of Kevlar, Hard rubber, and a thin layer of titanium chain mail."
"Very thoughtful of you, Naruto-kun. Still, Santa got me two large bottles of Jagermeister. It's not a bad thing; I heard it has healing properties." said Tsunade.
'You opened it already?!' thought Naruto. 'Jeez. She must always need an eye-opener.'
"Ok, Ero-senn-er, Jiraiya-oji-san." said Naruto. "I got you something you might like."
Jiraiya opened his present and found a peculiar-looking rifle.
"Now, why would I want to shoot something, Naruto? You know I have no time to hunt, considering all the research I do." replied the perverted sennin.
"You can shoot pictures with it. It's my patented Camera Rifle. The scope is your viewfinder and zoom/aperture setting control, and the cocking lever is your film advance lever if you turn off the auto-wind function. The barrel can be removed and changed in length to fit the various lenses I made for it. Also, it is a dual-format camera and the 30-round magazine attachment is really a memory card with a 1000 megabyte storage capacity. The drum magazine attachment is your film reel, which contains 200 exposures. Simply use the fire selector to switch from digital camera mode to film camera mode."
As soon as Naruto finished saying this, Jiraiya got a perverted look on his face, Sasuke and the other boys palmed their faces, and Hinata, joined by the other kunoichi and women in the room split their glares between Jiraiya and Naruto. Hinata looked Naruto in the face, and Naruto braced for a yell. Instead, he got something worse. Hinata's saddened face, accompanied by a return to her old shy and unconfident self that Naruto hoped would be only temporary.
"N-Naruto-kun... I'm d-disappointed in you. I-I thought you had better sense than to give your sensei that invention as a gift... You know very well what he does for a l-living..."
At this, Naruto looked up past the glares of the enraged kunoichi. All the men (except for Jiraiya) in the room had pained faces; they knew what this was like. Sasuke even went so far as to mouth "Ouch."
Guilted and embarrassed, Naruto quickly responded to make up for his mistake.
"If I may, I'd like to redeem myself?" said Naruto. Quickly, the other kunoichi in the room descended upon him, ready to rearrange his face.
"Speak now Naruto." said Anko. "Or else, hold your peace as we rip you a new one."
Naruto began to sweat. Then, realizing he was not acting normally, he cleared his throat and spoke in a low enough voice that Jiraiya would not snap out of his perverted stupor.
"I believe in realism, however." began Naruto. "Inside every barrel is a built in variable-brightness strobe light in place of a flash bulb with light sensor that always goes off when the trigger is pulled and either a memory card or film magazine is present, no matter how bright it is outside. One would have to completely disassemble the rifle in order to remove the strobe light mechanism. That being said, indoor or outdoor, day or night, the flash will go off. So in case you think you're being watched, look for the 'muzzle flash'. It means that the Ero-sniper here is doing research."
At this, the Kunoichi forgave Naruto, as did Hinata, and all the Kunoichi in the room grinned evilly at Jiraiya. Any male surrounding or even near Jiraiya wisely stepped away. It was clear what the Kunoichi were going to do. The moment they saw that strobe go off, they'd pounce on him. Naruto clapped his hands together to regain everyone's attention.
"Anyway, shall we continue opening presents? Hinata-chan and I will get started on the food."
The couple left the living room to get started on things in the kitchen. As soon as Naruto shoved the ham inside the oven, he turned to Hinata and apologized again.
"Hinata-chan, I'm REALLY sorry I upset you so. I didn't think about it at the time, I was just trying to get a good present for everyone. I swear I'll make it up to--MMPH!"
Naruto was silenced when Hinata pressed her lips against his. As she pulled away from him for air, Naruto's face turned extremely red in shock. Hinata giggled upon seeing his face.
"You can stop apologizing, Naruto-kun." said Hinata. "I know you meant well, and you just made a slightly misguided decision. I know you're a good person, Naruto. I was just a little shocked, was all. Sorry if I made you worry or feel guilty."
Naruto was speechless. Finally, he regained his composure and said, "That's all right, Hinata-chan. And thank you for forgiving my mistakes."
Arm in arm, the two rejoined the party going on in the living room. Everyone was finished opening their presents and were socializing, playing videogames both online, offline, co-operatively, and against each other, and generally, everyone was having fun. Naruto and Hinata got a kick out of Neji navigating the room with his brand-new ATN OTIS-G7 thermal/night vision goggles. Suddenly, Sasuke and Mitsuko came up to Naruto and Hinata.
"Guys, come to the garage! Kyle Ryan, and Ike got something for Naruto!" said Sasuke before hurrying off with Mitsuko. Puzzled, Naruto and Hinata followed them to the garage. Next to Kyle, Ryan, and Ike were rather large and ornately wrapped presents. Kyle stepped forward and spoke for the group.
"Well Naruto, we know you're growing up fast, and Ryan, Ike, and myself can't help but feel like both big brothers and fathers to you. So, we decided to get you something you'll need a few years from now. Go ahead and open your present."
Naruto unwrapped the large present to reveal a neatly-arranged plethora of plastic-wrapped parts such as fenders, a hood, a chassis and body. Naruto also saw other parts that led him to a particular conclusion.
"Are...Are you guys giving me a car?!" exclaimed Naruto.
"You got that right, Naruto. We got you a custom-made Blakely Bearcat S. The parts are already painted, you just have to put them together. And we've provided the tools." replied Kyle. On cue, Ike rolled in a large set of MAC tool drawers wrapped in a large green bow.
"And I provided extra goodies." said Ryan. "I ordered a rebored and rebuilt '74 2.3 Liter Ford Pinto powerplant specially tuned for your car, Naruto. And when you want a little more 'oomph' to your driving, I threw together a twincharger system that has a Garrett Ball-bearing turbo forcing air into a Vortech Centrifugal Supercharger. Not only will you feel an increase in power, but you'll also get better gas mileage. Just say the word when the Bearcat is finished, and I'll install it."
"Thanks, guys." said Naruto. "I'll join you back in the house in a second. I want to look over what I'm building."
As Hinata and the others went back to join the party, Naruto looked over the neatly-organized parts. Though the car was far from even looking complete, Naruto could already picture the sporty roadster he would be so proud to build with his own hands and drive both himself and his significant other around with. From the Pirelli-wrapped Alloy wheels donated from a Caterham Super Seven Roadster to the Red with Orange racing stripe paintjob of the body, Naruto knew he would be building a thing of beauty. And looking at the engine Ryan had purchased, said object of beauty would be combined with monstrous strength. A grin spread from ear to ear on Naruto's face.
'Oh yeah.' Thought the recently-promoted Chunin. 'This car will be the most awesome thing I've created.'
Naruto walked back inside, bypassing everyone in the living room to get to the kitchen; he had to check on the ham. Entering the doorway to the kitchen triggered a series of events. First, Naruto felt his body being grabbed and swung until he suddenly stopped. Next, the sound of a smooch caused the living room's occupants to fall silent and look towards the source of the sound. Finally, all the guests erupted in a chorus of "Whoo!", almost as if they were an audience at a TV show. Opening his eyes, Naruto looked into Hinata's smiling face. A line of red crossed his face.
"I appreciate the gesture, but what brought this on?" asked Naruto.
"Look up." replied Hinata.
Turning his gaze upward, he saw mistletoe hanging over their heads.
"I will get you back for this Hinata. Just you wait." said Naruto, devilishly.
"I'd like to see you try." replied Hinata naughtily.
And so, hours passed, guests ate their fill, and at nighttime, they began to clean up and leave. Greeting the guests good night, Naruto shut the door. Hinata was already upstairs, and Naruto went up to follow. Changing into his sleepwear consisting of camouflage boxers and an 'ARMY' t-shirt, he went to the closed door of his room, which he shared with Hinata for the weekend.
"Hinata, are you dressed for the night? I'm coming in!" said Naruto.
"Sure, Naruto-kun, but you still have one present left unopened." replied Hinata.
"And what would that be?" asked Naruto as he swung the door open.
"Me." replied Hinata. Naruto stood in the doorway and stared. Leaving her seductive pose on the bed, she walked towards him, seemingly clad in nothing but a Santa hat and a large red velvet ribbon that encompassed most of her body. She stopped right in front of Naruto and handed him the tip of the ribbon.
"Go ahead, open your present." said Hinata. Naruto silently complied, unraveling the ribbon by turning the end in a clockwise orbit around her head. His face already red, Naruto nearly bled from his nose (he exercises astounding control, doesn't he?) when he saw what was beneath the ribbon. Hinata was dressed in a sexy pair of red cotton boy shorts with fluffy white lace trim and a bright green ribbon covered her chest area. Needless to say, Naruto couldn't help but stare. Hinata was pleased that she was getting the reaction she'd hoped for.
"So, Naruto-kun, what do you think? Do you like it? Or is it not revealing enough?" said Hinata, adding a seductive tone to her voice at the end. She grew concerned when Naruto didn't respond. Perhaps it was too much for him. Suddenly, she was grabbed at the waist and pulled into a long, passionate kiss. Pulling away for air, it was her turn to blush as she looked into Naruto's smirking face.
"I'll take that as a yes." replied Hinata.
"Not only that. Look up." said Naruto. Hinata turned her gaze upward and saw hanging mistletoe.
"I guess that makes us even." said Hinata.
"Not even close." replied Naruto. Snapping his fingers, a large plot of mistletoe appeared on the ceiling.
"You sly fox, you." said Hinata. "You had this all planned out from the start, didn't you?"
"Not only that." said Naruto. "These are set only to dispel one at a time, and we have to kiss to dispel each one."
"Let's get started then." said Hinata, pulling Naruto close to the bed. "And don't worry. This'll be our little secret."
As the two began dispelling the mistletoe, flashes of light could be seen in the distance, where Jiraiya was cackling madly as he got shot after shot of Naruto and Hinata kissing with his new camera rifle. Before he continued, he turned towards the viewers.
"Merry Christmas to you all, and to all, a good night!" said Jiraiya before heading back to his research. Suddenly, he was knocked unconscious by a kick to the head from Neji.
"Wow, the packaging on this was right!" said Neji. "These goggles do work in the dark and in any weather! I love it!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --
Here's a guide to the numbered passages in the story.
1- Left unchecked, Naruto would've said "W-well, Hinata-chan, I think I breast tell you the truth. I think you look rather sexy in that outfit of yours. The cup size of your top certainly compliments your boobs!"
2- The flyer read: SexySasukeUchiha. Your only source for Yaoi/Shounen-ai fiction featuring Konoha's favorite Uchiha.