This is just a little attempt to write an only-dialogue Christmas thing….Just felt in the mood for sappy stuff again.
"Here, that's not the way…You've got too much paper on that one."
"Well, aren't you the present-wrapping policeman?"
"No, you're just being foolish and wasting paper."
"Sirius, how is it that you never learned to--"
"Grow up? Become an old man? Well…"
"It all started when he was born."
"Hey Tonks, you're part of the family, and you aren't allowed to say things like that."
"Yeah, I'm part of a family full of in-breeding. Nice. I'll have you know, your parents were second cousins."
"Why did you bring that up? It makes me die a little inside…"
"That's just sick and wrong."
"But that's what makes me fat free and--"
"Yep. But what's nice is that I don't have six fingers."
"Can we get back to the wrapping?"
"If Remus promises not to be a prick, then yes."
"I can't believe I even call you my best friend. It hurts…"
"Will mistletoe make it better? You have to kiss me now."
"I am not going to kiss you, Sirius."
"That's not what you said last night!"
"Ooh, scandalous! I never get to hear this kind of stuff!"
"You can't talk about these kinds of things in front of Tonks. She's too young for you to blacken her heart with sin."
"My heart is already Blackened, Remus, in case you didn't know."
"Was that a pun?"
"Well, I never noticed, because no one can take you seriously."
"I have to agree, it's the pink hair."
"Sirius! When did this conversation become about me?"
"Well lady, you just need to watch what you say. Now Remus…"
"Sirius, don't look at me like that…it makes me…uncomfortable."
"It doesn't fill your heart with joy? How could you not swoon at the very sight of me?"
"And I thought your arrogant ways were over…I guess I was wrong."
"That hurts…At least I don't fling insults at people."
"That wasn't even an insult. At least I'm not genetically mutated. That was an insult."
"Oh, so low…I am not genetically mutated!"
"Um…Can we get with the wrapping here?"
"Wait Tonks, your Christmas present to Moony should be…Can you turn your hair into tinsel?"
"Moony, I feel like I didn't get you enough this year."
"Are you joking? We both couldn't get much; we had to get a joint Christmas gift for Harry."
"Besides Sirius, having you here…I remember those holidays without you. They consisted of me getting a catnip toy for the stray outside my door. Then she proceeded to tear it to pieces and eat the insides."
"Didn't you see anyone else at all?"
"No…I wanted to be alone. Maybe once in a couple of years, but…I always had to politely decline before Christmas day. It wasn't Christmas without any of you…And knowing you were still alive and…"
"……I could never tell when days ended and began, Remus. Through the paper, yes…When December came, I never counted the days."
"Well, just promise me you won't…"
"Get thrown in prison again? We've made sure of that…"
"Sirius…I don't need anything this year…just you."
"Moony. …Thank you."
Merry Christmas everyone!