Author's Note: Got the idea from House and Cuddy's conversation in her office in the name of an episode I can't remember... Feedback makes me bouncy. ;)
Disclaimer: Would you like a friggin' tape recorder? Man, I need a website. I could just make a little soundtrack of me repeating, "I don't own anyone on television, I don't own anyone on television, I don't-" Grrr. That's not depressing at all…
Summary: 'This is the part where you renegotiate.' 'And you were supposed to just keep walking. Go ahead, do it again.' HouseCuddy
"We really suck at this."
"This?" Eyebrows rose skeptically.
"Noooo… not this… just… the whole thing, in general… sucks."
"Now this sucks, too? Stop it, you're crushing my ego."
"Oh, bite me."
"Is that a dare? 'Cause I'll do it, you know I will…"
Laughter, then, "I know you will. After last night I figured you'll do pretty much anything."
"That'd better be going both ways, Doctor Cuddy."
"Don't 'Doctor' me- wait. Forget I said that."
"Now who's got the dirty mind?"
"Bug off, House."
"Quit it, we're getting off track."
"Pffft. Who needs tracks? They're boring."
"Okay, fine. We suck at this. This sucks. I suck. You suck. We all-"
"Your line of logic is really hard to follow."
"Hey. We're still in bed, aren't we?"
House gave her a lazy grin, tickling her side with one finger. Cuddy squealed, squirming out of his arms and folding her arms across her stomach.
"What's this?" he protested. "You're deliberately being misleading."
Cuddy scoffed. "Oh, like you never do it."
He looked innocent. "I don't. I just flat-out lie." He inched closer at her smile. "Forgive me yet?"
The smile widened. "Maybe" was spoken, followed by a couple hours of 'convincing,' then, "Alrightfineyouwin" in one breath.
She arched an eyebrow. "So… what?"
"I don't know. That's your department. What's your plan to make this not suck?" He queried with another wicked grin. "I know how."
"Is that your answer to everything?" Cuddy rolled over, threatening to get out of bed until he tugged her back to him.
"Depends. What's everything?" He teased.
She sighed. "It's not possible to have a normal conversation with you, is it?"
"Probably not," he agreed with a yawn. "Answer the question."
Cuddy frowned, drawing lazy circles on his shoulder with her index finger. "I don't know either. I'm not complaining, you know, so don't go all puppy-dog-eyed on me and pout that clearly you're not good enough for me and all that crap."
It was his turn to give her a skeptical look. "Okayyyy… what shall we start with, then? The beginning?" He stuck out his hand in her direction. "Hi, I'm Greg House, and I think you're sexy. Will you come home with me on our first date since I know you so well already…" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Cuddy buried her face in her pillow to stifle her laughter. Don't encourage him, she ordered herself, but it didn't work very well.
"Depends. What are we doing on our first date?"