MisaMisa Screws up!
Shortly After the notebook had been taken back from Higuchi.
While everyone was out examining the notebook and questioning Rem it had been a boring day for Misa sitting in confinement. The ditzy blond Loligoth girl had drifted off into sleep and was dreaming about Light (what else?).
Misa and Light were sitting on the patio of some expensive beach side resort. "Yay! I'm so happy you took me on this vacation Light! No more handcuffs, just Light and Misa!" she giggled.
"Yes, just the two of us. I've been thinking Misa, we've been going out for awhile now, lets get married."
"WAAA! Misas so happy!" she hugged Light but was then pushed off.
"But Misa, you have to remember, I'm Kira, the Lord of this world. Someone who's destined to wed the great Kira must meet certain requirements."
"Anything! I'll even learn how to ride a unicycle! And if I can't meet your standards, you can kill me if you want!"
"Oh it's nothing that difficult, the only thing I ask of you is that you don't screw up!"
Misa remembering the several screw-ups as the second Kira sweat dropped "Misa won't screw up! Misa never screws up!" she said desperately.
"That's good Misa, because if you did screw up…." Lights face turned to his evil grinning face with the eyes of a killer.
"If I did you would kill me right?"
"No Misa…I won't kill you, I'll do something far worse! If you screw up, I'll dump you!" Light said pointing directly at her. Misa fell to her knees in horror.
"NOOOO! I won't screw up! Never ever EVER!"
Misa sat up in bed waking up from her bad dream. "Ahhh…it was just a dream…" Misa said in relief.
As Misa sat up she noticed something floating in the air that wasn't there before, it was the title of this fanfic! "MisaMisa screws up….No! Misa can't screw up! Can't let light see this!" Misa quickly ran over to the title of this fanfiction floating in mid air and did the only thing she could think of, she ripped the "isaMisa" off the title and preceded to eat the letters so that no one could see what it said. She tried to pry the last M off of it as well, but it was stuck on so good, she couldn't get it off no matter how hard she tried. Just then the door burst open knocking Misa over onto her butt as Matsuda, the bumbling NPA member burst in on her room. Matsuda tripped over her falling to the floor.
"Ow! Ow…sorry Misa, but I was so excited I have some really good news, your names been cleared! There's a 13 day rule in the killer notebook which means you and Light can't be Ki…hey what's that?" Matsuda walked over to the title of the fanfiction. "It looks like the title of a fanfiction. but some of its missing, uhoh, looks like someone's writing about us again." Matsuda had really lost faith in the fanfic community, almost no one wrote any fanfics about him winning over Misas affections. Usually when he was featured in a fanfiction he was usually portrayed as a bumbling fool.
"Hmmm…someone whose name starts with M is going to screw up huh? Haha, it's a good thing my name doesn't start with a…hey wait a minute it does! Aww man this is bad! I gotta hide this!" Matsuda began tugging at the title, but it just wouldn't come off!
"What's going on in here?" Soichiro Yagami walked in to see what was happening. "Matsuda, get away from that right now!"
The title of this fanfic was brought into the main room, an ashamed and mortified looking Matsuda sat in his chair looking at his feet. "Of all the times for someone to write a fanfic about us, just when we almost got to the bottom of the Kira investigation." Aizawa said in annoyance "And to top it all off, it looks like someone's going to screw up!" he said glaring at Matsuda.
"B-but! It might not be me! There are other people whose names are spelled with an M! What about Misa and Mello?"
"Sometimes you gotta own up to it Matsuda, Misas name is to short for the missing space, and Mellos is too, he hasn't even shown up in the story yet." Soichiro said putting a hand on Matsudas shoulder.
"I wouldn't be too sure Mr.Yagami." L said taking a closer look at it. "The spacing here is actually a bit too much for Matsuda, which is a seven letter name. Assuming that at least most of these letters are lower case, this should be an eight letter name."
"So this fanfic isn't about me then?" Matsuda said in partial relief and partial disappointment that no one wanted to write about him.
"I didn't say that Matsuda kun. If the rest of these letters were capitalized, or even if they were written in a different font, which is unlikely, they would fill out the same amount of space as an eight-letter word. However, it's equally possible that this does refer to someone else, who do we know whose name has eight letters in it and starts with an M?"
A look of realization came over Lights face "It could be Misa, her nickname is MisaMisa."
"Very good Light kun, your reasoning abilities are as sharp as ever, but I wonder how exactly Misa, someone who isn't directly involved in our investigation will screw up?" L said looking at Light enquiringly.
This wasn't good, Light knew what L was getting at Misa was suspected of being the 2nd Kira. If she somehow screwed up, they could both get caught! "Who knows, but the fact is, it could be either Misa or Matsuda."
"Aizawa, if you could get the tapes from the surveillance cameras in Misas room…" L began to say, but before he could even finish his sentence, Rem who had been sitting back on the conversation behind everyone began smash up all the surveillance equipment with a hammer.
"Rem! Stop!" Aizawa tried to jump on her but passed through her body falling on his face. After Rem was done she sat down again watching smoke drift up from the smashed equipment.
"Rem, why did you do that?" L asked.
"I'm a Shinigami, I don't need a reason to do anything." Rem said innocently.
"That means there's no way we can find out whose going to screw up until it's too late." Light said in annoyance.
"True, I suggest that until this fanfic is over, I keep both Matsuda and Misa under my surveillance, if Matsuda screws up, it could compromise our investigation or we could all wind up dead. If Misa screws up, and she's the 2nd Kira as I suspect, this could be a pivotal moment in our investigation."
"Good thinking Ryuzaki, I'll help!" Light said Smiling. "I better make sure Misa doesn't screw up!" he thought to himself.
An awkward silence came over the room, Light, L, Matsuda and Misa all sat on the bed in Misas room, and each one of them was handcuffed to L. One cuff went to each hand and another was around his ankle.
"This is going to make it difficult to use the bathroom." Misa said slightly worried.
"So….what do you all feel like doing?" Light said trying to change the subject.
"I suggest, you three watch me make interesting facial expressions and eat some sweets…." L began to suggest but before he could finish Matsuda stood up.
"Somehow I thought this might happen, so I came prepared!"
"How do you think something like this is going to happen?" Light asked in annoyance.
"I just had a hunch, but anyway, since were stuck together, you all can be the test audience for the novel I'm writing!"
"Ooh…your writing a novel? What's it about?" Misa asked.
"I'm sure you'll like it, it's about a hard working ninja named Matsuda, he lives in the hidden village of the apples. But he has two rivals named Ryuzaki and Light who are genius ninjas! This is the story of how through hard work he surpasses their genius and gets the cute blond ninja!" Matsuda began to read his story.
Several hours later
"Matsuda! Lets take a break on that story of yours, I think I'm getting a headache…" Light said rubbing his temples.
"Matsuda kun, I think your story needs work, lots of work, just listening to your story has caused my reasoning ability to drop by 45. To get it back I'll need to make some strange facial expressions and eat some sweets."
"B-but! I spent so much time writing it! You liked it right Misa?"
"Well…." Misa looked away from Matsuda not wanting to answer honestly.
"Matsuda, you realize, that all you did when you wrote that was you took the plot of Naruto and replaced the stories protagonist with yourself, replaced Sakura with Misa and Sasuke with Ryuzaki and myself? You do realize that if you ever published that you could get sued for copy write infringement or worse! You could wind up dead!" Light said looking serious.
"That's right! Kira takes the copy write laws very seriously, last month he killed ten illegal downloaders which is why the RIAA is one of the biggest Kira endorsers in America." L said taking a bite of cake.
"But, there's differences, instead of a spiral all the ninjas have the Apple Logo on their head bands!"
"You want Apple to sue you too?"
"B-b-but! I don't want to die or get sued! What should I do?" Matsuda said in a panic.
"Let me see that for a moment Matsuda kun." L took his story and then pulled out a communicator "Watari, send someone over with a paper shredder."
"Noooo! Don't shred my story! I wrote that with all my soul!" Matsuda screamed while he was restrained by Light and Misa.
Matsuda sat crying on the floor "It was for the best Matsuda." Light gave him a pat on the back.
"Now that this is out of the way, I'm going to make three facial expressions, you three tell me which is your favorite." L said as the three of them sat in front of him.
"He couldn't be trying to profile me by making facial expressions, no this is L were talking about, anything is possible with him. There's no way I can predict which facial expression to pick which would make me look guilty, gotta find a way out of this without making it obvious…that's it!" Light had an idea
"Wait Ryuzaki, your pretty good at making facial expressions, but I really think you should let someone else try doing it now and then. I'll make several facial expressions and you tell me which one you like the best!"
"Hmmm…could it be Light saw through my facial expression profiling, brilliant as ever Yagami kun….but now he wants to make faces? It's as if our situations have been reversed…" L thought to himself. "Then again, I've never seen him make many expressions, this should be interesting."
"Very well then Yagami kun, lets see your facial expressions."
"Shit! That's right, I'm no good at most faces, I'm only good at two types of facial expressions, I'll have to come up with a new one somehow!" Light thought to himself. As he thought this he made his super cheerful girl charming smiling face.
"I'm so jealous Light! I'd probably get tons of girls like Misa if I could make a face like that!" Matsuda said in awe. Next Light made his evil glaring "I'm going to kill you face"
"That sure is a scary facial expression, I'd hate to see that face right before I die." L said backing away from Light slightly when he looked in his direction.
"Don't worry Ryuzaki, I'm sure the last thing you'll see will be very comforting like pink bunnies or something. You'll defiantly die a happy death" Light said reassuringly. "In any case why would you be seeing me make a scary face right before you die? It's not like I'm Kira or anything hahaha…" Light laughed innocently but was still making his scary face which was just creepy.
"I hope your right…but in any case, lets see the third facial expression Yagami kun, your current expression is much too scary. I want you to change it right now."
Light concentrated as he tried to make a third facial expression."EERRRGHHH" he almost looked like he was on the toilet but couldn't quite get it out.
"Come on Light! You can do it!" Misa cheered. Moments later Light passed out on the floor unable to make a third facial expression, what he had on his face right now was somewhere between his cheerful pretty face and his "I'm going to kill you" face. His eyes had even rolled back into his head because he had concentrated too hard.
"Ow, my face…." Light held a bag of ice against his face.
"Light, you shouldn't have done that, you tried to use too many muscles at once and now you sprained your face!" Misa said putting another ice pack on him.
"It would seem that neither of you have screwed up yet. I must say this fanfic is trying even my patience, at least it's not a yaoi, despite what most people seem to think I'm not gay." L said as he ate a pink bunny.
"Yeah, I know they seem to think the same thing about me, I don't get why…" Light began to say.
"Actually, I find it understandable that people might have that sort of opinion about you." L said looking at Light completely serious.
"Wait? What do you mean by that Ryuzaki?" Light grabbed his shoulders shaking him. "You can't think I'm gay? You were monitoring my every move! What about all those girls I dated? You probably saw me reading those girly mags when I was under surveillance too!"
"Yes, that's just it! It was almost as if you were trying too hard to appear as a heterosexual teenaged boy with a high libido. Many people that haven't come to terms with their sexuality try to overcompensate like that. Another thing I noticed is that even when Misa, a supermodel tries to come onto you, your reaction is neutral at best. The way it is I see two possibilities, one is that you are Kira and your interest in the opposite sex was merely a red herring meant to confuse me, however given that the thirteen day rule has cleared you this seems unlikely. Or two you haven't come to terms with your sexuality which is why you were trying to overcompensate by acting like a playboy. "
"Light….please say it isn't true!" Misa said hugging onto him.
"It's not true now let me go!" Light pushed her away.
"It would seem my hypothesis is correct. You need to accept your sexuality Yagami kun." L said observing Lights behavior. This was starting to piss Light off, he needed to convince everyone!
Light grabbed L by the shoulders "Ryuzaki, look at me! Do I really look gay to you? Is that really what you think I am?"
"That's how you look to me, and that's what I think you are." L stated bluntly. Pulling back Light punched L in the side of his face only to be knocked backwards by a powerful kick. However since everyone was chained together they all fell to the floor as one in a heap.
"Light…I don't care if your gay or not, so please don't fight, at least not when were chained together. Even if you are gay, I'll always support your decisions, unless you decide to be Kira, if that happens I'll have to shoot you, but other then that I'll always support you." Matsuda said getting out from under everyone.
"Even if you are gay, I'll always be by your side Light!" Misa said melodramatically.
"Oh shut up!" Light said buried under everyone.
Everyone was sitting around the table again with some tea, the atmosphere was a little tense between L and Light so Matsuda sat between the two of them "Hmmm…I'm all out of sugar." L said looking down at his cup.
"I'll go get some more!" Misa got up and picked up a bottle of "sugar" pouring some in everyone's cup of tea.
"Ack…not sugar…salt….Misa…you screwed up…cough" L looked like he was about to toss his cookies, his face turning green.
"He's right Misa, salt doesn't taste good at all in tea." Light said scrunching up his nose in disgust.
"Nooo…..Misa really screwed up! NOOOO! Please don't dump me Light!" Misa hugged onto his arm and wouldn't let go.
"Uhh…actually, it's really no big deal." Light said a little weirder out.
"Really? You won't dump me?" Misa said beaming with tears of joy.
"its just tea." Light said as if it was nothing.
"Light…I think I may have been wrong about you. If you won't dump a girl for doing something as horrible as desecrating the sweet flavor of your tea, you must truly be straight!" L said looking convinced.
"Light isn't gay! Now Misa can get married!"
"That's right Misa! Were no longer suspected of being Kira, and this fanfic is almost over, now we can live happily ever after, just like you've always dreamed!" Light said flashing a sparkling white Smile. Flowers randomly began to bloom around them, much to L's annoyance one even sprouted out of his tea.
L bit his thumb, this was such a weird fanfic there was no way things could end this perfectly, he had to be ready for anything!
"Congratulations Light, I always knew you'd live happily ever after! But I just have one question for you!" Matsuda said getting off the floor. "Why is there a big red button on the table that has the word "DON'T" written on it?"
L's eyes went wide "A "DON'T" button? Everyone, step away from the table and don't press…" Before he could even finish Misa suddenly ran over and pressed it!
"Yay! Misa always wanted to press a big red button! Buttons are made to be pressed!" Misa bounced up and down with button pressing glee.
"Misa….you screwed up…." Everyone said at once.
"Oops!" Misa said cutely realizing that this probably wasn't a good idea all too late.
In space an astronaut floated through the dark void as he looked down at the blue planet. He spotted a white flash visible from orbit coming from Japan as if a large nuclear explosion had just been detonated. "What the hell was that?"
Somewhere in the afterlife
"I really wanted to press that button…." Matsudas ghost said in sorrow that he wasn't the first to press it.