Disclaimer: I do not own BTVS or any of the characters therein Other Information about the story: This story is written in the perspective of Drusilla and is a prequel to a story I authored called Are you Sleeping? The story is a memoir page found by a little girl named Sophia Calderon. (The little girl Drusilla tries to kill in the story mentioned above) There is going to be no mention of a specific date for when this memoir was written. In talk of episode placement, this was written around season 6 in between Seeing Red and Villains. This one-shot was written to explain why I put Dru in a rewrite for the finale of season 6 in Are you Sleeping, hopefully this will explain the need Drusilla felt to join Tara and her quest. As for Tara information: I made Tara join up with Drusilla because of prior knowledge she had about her and Spike's relationship and mainly to get the ball rolling on my take on what could have happened if Drusilla went into play on the whole revenge mission. If there are any specified questions about this information review and I will get back to you when I receive it.

Drusilla: A Lonely Holiday for an Immortal Being

Another night has passed and my heart begins to ache. Miss Edith and I both said goodbye to pretty William it seems only a short time ago. He was my faithful guard, my immortal companion, and my dark beautiful prince. It seems that fate had only intertwined our paths yesterday, when that fateful day came. We were sent to eachother, he to me and I to him. But these holidays of this world make me miss him even more now hat he is gone. I miss those days when our family would venture out into the countryside. We would pick fresh apples from an orchard and smell the fresh scent of gingerbread as we took the life of the baker. The poor lamb, even his blood tasted of the mixture of flour and allspice. I loved to bleed the poor man just enough to dye the icing he used to a lovely scarlet. The contrast of color between the green varnish of my nails and the icing sent shivers up my spine. It was the loveliest sight I had beheld until William. We used to stroll into quaint little shopping villas and gift shoppes at any city I fancied. That is when Miss Edith and I came into eachother's lives. She came into my life one Christmas Eve. The lovely woman who had made her knew she was mine, so I took the doll and had dinner with her as Miss Edith watched in glee. Miss Edith had the most beautiful hair, dark like mine, and was wearing an elegant red dress that I knew made my pale skin blush in happiness. I fashioned myself a dress and styled my hair in curly locks so we could look like mother and daughter for my precious little Spike. His look on his face was indescribable, it felt like there was a fire in me that burned for him and him alone. He was so carnal that I had to turn Miss Edith around while he consumed me and the fire we had lit was worn out long before my William was. I could see envy in the eyes of the flame as we went on long into the night. At our newly acquired home in Prague I realized that, other than the dark gift, William was my only real present that would forever be mine. We all lived as one happy family, pretty William, the Grandmother, and my daddy my Angel. I could swim for days in the dark pools that were his dark eyes. His gazes seeping into me like warm water from a bath. He had always called me his daughter so I called him daddy. His maker, the one who gave birth to all of us, was called Darla. I called her grandmother for after all that is who she was. She was spawned and kin to a gruesome old one called the Master. He was in no way as handsome as my Angel nor William. Before she was in my Angel's life, he was known as Angelus, a scoundrel of sorts and was almost always in a tavern drinking his self into a stupor. He was a wild hound, a wild beast serving know man or beast except his fleshly desire. How I envy the women he must have taken back then. He and Grandmother found eachother one night and Angel had promised her his life to protect her as William had once to me. At that moment she filled herself with his life and he with hers. Angel never liked families to live once her wanted to turn one of their own. I guess that is the reason he took my mortal family when he chose to make me his. I haven't a memory as to my mortal life, I left it to be blown away by the last living breath of my mortal life. But I do remember fragments of my last moments. My Angel went into my head, tinkered away and left my mind in sorts and shambles. After which he made me descend from the light into his darkness. Only when I was knackered did he decide to end my pain, my life, my everything. He took me on my first hunt and I lived with him for some time before I found my William. He was nothing but a sad, broken hearted poet in tears. He needed me to love him as much as I needed something to love. So I gave him my immortal kiss and he was mine. But this was different from the taste I had in my Angel. He tasted like Grandmother and nothing else. He was never truly mine and I guess that it is the reason why I covet William so. Up until a year ago I had never tasted one from our family as pure and innocent as my Spike. The next in my line of soldiers was Grandmother. Men from the wolf, ram, and hart had come to me in Prague and told me that they had revived the Grandmother from the hollows of death as a human. So from there I went to the city of Angels and saw her for the first time in over a lifetime. Her sickness reeked from her and hung around her like curls of smoke. I could see her fear as well, her fear of death, her fear of life, and her fear that she may not get back her once prized immortality. She found her way back into the arms of her dark guard Angel and begged him for the life she had given him. The sickness was enough to make me weep. And on the night when it was time, the wolf, ram, and hart sent a little box of soldiers to hold back Angel as I gave Grandmother her life back. She had such a pure taste that it was indescribable. It was as insatiable and repugnant as her grief she had held inside her before. That grief made her prostrate with inner turmoil and I could barely stand it, like a swarm of hornets in my head and stinging my lifeless but still loving heart. I've chosen better places to turn men into one of my kind though. It was a little run-down hotel in the slums of Las Angeles. It was filthier than the alleys of Prague where the tramps and urchins I used to hunt resided. But I digress, me and Grandmother began to reform our old lives that we had once loved and lived for. We went to the clothing stores and tried on many new and fashionable clothing. We went to Mr. Manning's home and had a massacre, starting with his wife. She was a sweet old lady, like clover. And that is when My Angel went to see the Grandmother and me. But though he had his Inner Light, he didn't stop us from feeding on the lovely little morsels he had promised to protect. But then when we tried to get him to join us in our long lost family he set us ablaze and we barely survived it. I think we both knew that he would never love us and that we would never see our Daddy ever again. I had but one thought in my mind after the Grandmother left My Angel and us and that was My Spike. Last I saw him, we had a fight about her; the Slayer. She poisoned him against me and though he said he was devoted to only me, I could practically sense his longing for her in him. I told him that we could still be friends but he couldn't bear it at all and Miss Edith wept as he left us all alone. I could not help but feel drawn to him and decided to return to him and return to Sunnydale. The train ride was so pleasant and the food was exquisite. Enough to make me regret the destination. But Miss Edith wanted her Daddy back and I wanted him too. I went to his new home, his crypt. It was dank and dark and absolutely the home I wish we could have shared together. I remembered the long hours that I had punished that naughty Watcher of the Slayer's. He was one of my fondest memories that I had as I walked down the streets of this town. He tasted like tea, why do all Watchers taste like tea? The town still reeled with dark power as it still sat on a dormant Hellmouth. I put on a luxurious black gown that I had acquired in Las Angeles as I awaited William. But, like before, I can see her all over his mind. Her scent, the taste in my mouth that lingers as I taste the air in the crypt. She is like a toxin in my mouth. All I wanted here was a family, my family. But the Grandmother's gone My Angel has left me, and My Spike is hers now. Why must I suffer? Why must I be condemned to this eternity alone? All I want is my family to be with me. Angel had promised me that I would never be alone, and now here with the company of Miss Edith all alone I now see this was just a lie. My daddy lied to me! And so I left the Valley of the Sun back to South America, back to Peru. Miss Edith and I long for new companions, ones that will never leave us again. I frequently pass a child's playground and see all the Children play as they wait for the mummies and daddies. I wonder, if I were to wait there and be a good little girl, will my family come to get me? Will they? Only a great power on this Earth could weave a tapestry so to put us back together. There is always this one little girl named Sophia that always waits for her mum and every night and I pray she'll find me so I can make her my new daughter and Miss Edith's new sister. But right before I get to her, her mum picks her up and she is gone until the next night. I long so for her that I even dream about her. I now know where her mum waits and I will find her. Sophia will be mine. Tonight is the night, tonight I will make her my new child of darkness. But I can't help but sense that there is a dark power rising in Sunnydale, and that my Spike is in danger.