Every Digimon wants a Tamer. I wanted one, too. I trained on my own in the hopes that some day, somehow, I would be chosen. And I became strong, and I was chosen. We want Tamers so we can be strong, but I think there may be more to it than that. A partner makes us complete.
When I was presented to Ruki as her Tamer Digimon, I was pleased. I knew that she was a strong card player, and so there seemed to be a great deal of potential for me. I could see that she was not an emotional person, and she wanted to win. I could appreciate this, as I was the same way.
But then I began to wonder if being the Digimon of a Tamer was as good as I had anticipated. Yes, I had someone to direct me and give me moves in battle, and I had a purpose. But it did not feel like I had expected; Ruki remained distant. We did not grow close. I began to realise that to her, being a Tamer was some sort of power trip - a way to just win. And she seemed to see me as more of a weapon than as a partner - someone beneath her, someone she could use, rather than work alongside.
It can't be a quality of being a Tamer, because I have seen those two boys. I am sure that neither of them are as strong or skilled as us, but I believe they may have something worth having. I saw the Terriermon sitting on his Tamer's shoulder, one ear wrapped around the boy's body. That was friendship. Of course, it is better to be strong than to give in to weak emotions and feelings, but... no, I don't believe that. That is what Ruki thinks. I can only hope that in her heart, she does not really believe that.
There's almost a suspicion in me that thinks there may be power in friendship, after all. Until Ruki appreciates me, loves me, it will be as though I'm - almost - struggling to battle. She wants to know why I can not digivolve. I think that may be the problem. We both want to win, but we are not entirely on the same wavelength, we are not united, we are not a team.
When I see Ruki after I have won a battle, she smirks and her eyes are proud. But she is not proud of me; she is proud of herself and her victory.
I do not need much; I will continue on if I must, and hope that she will trust me. Hope that she will see me as someone who is real and upon whom she can depend - not just for winning battles. In the meantime, I will do as she tells me and I will do anything to protect her. There must be a reason why we are partners. Surely, surely, a tomorrow will come...
Then, on that day, I'll digivolve because of our rapport, and fight because of a mutual understanding. A tomorrow when Ruki won't look at me in that cold, appraising way, or talk about me in terms of what I can do. Everything will be perfect after that day - in my dreams, anyway.
I know there are thousands of Digimon out there who would kill to have Ruki as their Tamer. I am one of them. I suppose I am happy for what I can get, but I'd like to be more than a Tamer's Digimon. I'd like to be my Tamer's friend.