Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephanie Meyer owns all the charaters.
Yes, I know this is a very short beginning for a story, but this is what I came up with. Future chapters should be longer.
This is my first 'Twilight'/'New Moon' fanfic. So, I hope it's ok. :)
R&R, if you will.
Chapter 1: Loving with your Soul
I was sitting in the dining room of the Cullen household. All of them sitting down, myself included, around the dining table. We had just voted and it seemed I won. I would be a vampire in a matter of three days. Esme had asked Alice when and where and Alice had come to almost hyperventilating. She didn't think she could do it. Edward had stormed back in after leaving only minutes ago. And he started to yell in my face. He didn't see, he couldn't see, how very much I wanted this. Him wanting me to stay human...it felt as if I weren't special enough to him, to turn me, to live at his side...forever. I love him. And it felt as is my heart were being torn out by him protesting me wanting to be a vampire.
I looked to Carlisle. His face too beautiful. I asked him and he told me that he would do it, that I would be safe, that he wouldn't have any problem with his control and I believed him. I trusted him. I was too happy that he would do it, not to trust him.
Edward stormed out of the room, once more. My happiness gone and replaced with the undying sadness I had had for most of the year. It felt as if the whole in my chest was back. I couldn't breath. I gripped my sides and everyone looked at me with concern, I just gave them a nod, to show I would be ok.
Standing up I told Carlisle that I would be right back. I left the dining room only to step into a destroyed living room. What the hell happened? Did Edward do this? Was this was the racket earlier, the first time Edward left the room?
I walked past everything. Catching the wall, before I tripped over a broken lamp that lay on the floor. I walked up the stairs, to Edwards bedroom. I had to tell him. He needed to understand.
Getting to his door. I listened for...anything. I heard nothing, not a frustrated breath, even though Edward or any of the Cullen's needed to breathe for that matter, not the breaking of objects being thrown, now loud blasts of music...absolutely nothing.
I opened the door and slowly walked in. Edward was sitting on the corner of his bed. I went and sat on the other. There was a deadly silence and a tension that could be cut with a knife like butter. I took a deep breath and let it go. I waited wishing...hoping that he might speak first. But, after about twenty minutes, this deadly silence that hung over us like a cloud of smog, got tiring and I could no longer wait for him to speak.
"Edward..." I sighed, "Why can't you see that this is what I want?"
"You want to be a monster?" Edward scoffed without even looking at me with his perfect face.
"If it means being with you forever then, yes." I told him without hesitation. I knew what I wanted and if he wouldn't support that or if he left me because of it, then I'd just have to roam the world alone...forever...heartbroken. "Edward, you have no clue how much it hurts me, when..." I could clearly feel the tears begin to prick my eyes, "...when you back away every time we kiss, like you just touching me will hurt me." I felt as a couple tears made their way slowly down my cheek and I saw Edward begin to say something, but I beat him to it, "I know. 'I don't understand how strong you are.'" I said mimicking him, "But, don't you see? If I'm turned, then you don't have to fear of me ever being hurt." Their was a long pause. "I know you think that if I'm turned I'll loose my soul. You even think that you've lost yours."
"I have." Edward said through gritted teeth.
I let a small laugh escape me and Edward looked at me, his beautiful brow raised, "Edward, isn't it said that we love not only with our hearts, but also our souls and our bodies." I stopped to let it sink in a little, "Your heart doesn't beat, and we've never..." I gestured a hand over his bed, "If you have no soul, how can you claim you love me?" I asked and he just looked at me as if I'd cracked the almighty code of the world, not a relieved look, a shocked looked. "We might think with our brains, but it's our soul that causes us to love... and when you find love... that love is called your soul-mate."
I stood up and walked towards the door. I was tired of being looked at like I was the first human being he's ever laid his angelic eyes on. I opened the door and stood there for a moment, "I know you won't do it, because just like Alice, your afraid you'll loose control. That's why Carlisle is doing it. But, I do wish that you'll be there, because if I don't live through the transformation, I'd like for your face to be the last thing I see." And then I left, closing the door behind me.