A/N: I shouldn't be doing this. I still haven't finished Nothing and Everything and I'm behind on Life Happens, but this fic idea is just too good to pass up. These chapters will be shorter than my other stories. And this fic will only be about nine chapters at the most. It features a much darker Peyton than I'm used to writing. She's very bitchy, very angry, very vindictive. This isn't a fluffy little Leyton piece. This is a struggle and a constant uphill battle. (sigh) I'm very proud of this one. It takes place after 1.09 when Peyton confesses her love only for Lucas to basically slap her in the face…yes I'm still bitter about that. Anyways, this is how I wanted Peyton to respond. Enjoy! And please do review if you don't mind. There's a bit of swearing so if that bugs you, you should be warned.
Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill (thank God…I'd hate to be Mark), I don't own Stupid Girl by Garbage and I don't even technically own the computer I'm typing on now.
You stupid girl
You stupid girl
Cant believe you fake it
Cant believe you fake it
Stupid…Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! It was the only coherent thought that passed through Peyton's head as she drove home from Lucas's house. Her heart broke with each second that passed, each note that Jimmy Page played. She tried hard to get lost in the music. To forget the horrific scene that had unfolded before her not more than five minutes ago. She tried to ignore the bubbly look on Brooke's face that was engrained in her mind. She had a smirk and that voice that oozed sickly sweetness. The little vixen had won again.
Lucas. She didn't even want to hear his name. His eyes filled with shame and regret. But she doubted he really regretted his actions. He was ashamed for getting caught. Maybe those were his intentions all along. How could she have been so blind? So naïve? How could she have thought that he was any different than the guys she had known before?
He was Nathan, only more deceitful. Trickier. More complex. She wasn't expecting him to be an asshole. He surprised her there. But she should have expected it. All men had treated her like this since the day she entered junior high. Boys were looking for one thing. Sex. And while she had become accustomed to the ones who were blatant and honest with their intentions, she hadn't been prepared for the quiet ones. The ones who had other means of getting into your pants. She wasn't ready for him.
That's why she turned him down the first time. God! And here she thought that he had wanted more. It was just sweet talk. Words meant to make her coo and fall into a puddle at his feet. She was supposed to just hear them and not take them to heart. But she did. She made the mistake of thinking everything he said meant more. But it didn't. It never did. It was all empty.
He just moved on to the next girl. An easier target. And it had to be Brooke. It couldn't have been Theresa or Bevin or Meredith or hell even, Haley. Nope. Brooke Davis. Her best friend. Perfect fucking Brooke Davis. The one whose affection he had swore off not to long ago. Fucking liar. Stupid little girl for believing him.
She missed the days when she trusted no one. When it didn't matter if she found her crush ready to get it on with Brooke Davis. Hell, you'd have to be naïve to think this was the first time Brooke had done this. They had a similar taste in guys. Brooke always won, but before, Peyton never minded. She always believed that there'd be another one out there. But this time. This time it didn't feel as though there would. She was permanently scarred by this incident.
She was done with Brooke. She was done with Lucas. She was done with pretending everything was fine. She was not going to plaster a stupid grin on her face and play Serrano or even worse, fight for Lucas. No she was going to go numb. Drown her sorrows in some good Jack Daniels. Forget this day until tomorrow and then go to school and pretend like nothing had happened. No scratch that. She was going to pretend that none of them existed. Just ignore them. Ignore it all and never respond to their pleads or questions or musings. Silence. It was golden, was it not? Maybe the guilt would consume them both until they knew an ounce of the pain she was feeling right now. And if not, maybe they would finally know what it felt like to be ignored.
Stupid boy. Stupid girl. Stupid Peyton. Stupid high school drama.
"Yes, stupid indeed," Peyton mumbled as she threw herself on her bed. The glass of Jack Daniels shaking a bit on her nightstand. She grabbed the glass full of colored liquid and swirled it twice for good measure. She swallowed the contents in one try. The only signs of its existence were the two beads of alcohol lingering on her lips. Her tongue swiped carelessly to dot away the drops. A long sigh passed over her lips as she poured another shot. She raised her glass, toasting to the webcam that was facing her as she sat Indian style on her bed. Who knew who was watching her tonight? She would bet a million dollars it wasn't Lucas. He was busy fucking Brooke. The images in her mind made her wince involuntarily. She was strong, but she'd be the first to admit she was hurt as well.
"To Brooke and Lucas," she whispered bitterly, "The ones I love." She tipped her glass a little before downing the drink. "Loved," she corrected, a sardonic smile crossing her face. Another shot was poured.
"And this is to new beginnings," she said proudly, her grin never fading. Her eyes flickered with sadness over the top of her cup as she felt the liquid slide across her throat. It burnt more than all the other ones combined.
They had started this stupid fucking game. Now she would finish it. They had created a monster. A woman hell bent on making them pay. And she would do it the cleverest way she knew possible. By doing nothing at all.
Dont believe in love
Dont believe in hate
Dont believe in anything
That you cant waste
So that's it. Umm next chapter should be a bit longer. We'll see. Hope you enjoyed it!