A/N: Really just a character study of Rosealie for my own use at some point. Mostly just me freewriting in stream of consciousness along the basic principle of Rosealie still sort of loving Edward.

Reviews of all sorts are appreciated, even flames. It's rough, and it's supposed to be, it's just me writing as I thought things. I really just would like to know if people think I got Rose even close to how she should be.

Disclaimer: No matter how many dreams I may have about it, I don't own Twilight or New Moon.

I watched as Bella lay contentedly in his arms. I may not have liked her much, but it was impossible for me to overlook the fact that the girl had lost a significant amount of weight. Esme desperately tried to get her to eat the groceries we bought for appearances' sake whenever she came now.

Tonight was Alice's idea, a sleepover of sorts. Her father had been told Edward was out of town with Emmett and Jasper and that Bella would have fun sleeping over. Of course it was all a clever rouse for Edward to get some more time with the girl, something he so desperately desired. It certainly wasn't as if he didn't spend everyone moment with her already. God forbid that for one second he was away from her, that he spent one second with us for a change.

It was watching the way he seemed so happy with her that reminded me of the days when I was to be his companion. But I had had too many thorns for Edward's taste.

Maybe that was why I was jealous of her, because she had gotten the one thing I never could, Edward's love.

I know now that Emmett's the one for me, but there will always be a part of me that wants Edward to love me. It's the one challenge I'll never be able to complete. There's no wrench to make someone love you, no wires you can to move around to make yourself what they want. Isn't just me enough?

I watch as she falls asleep in his arms, I see the way he smiles at that. Am I not human enough for him? I know I'm beautiful, I take pride in it. Am I too beautiful, too otherworldly, for him? But it wasn't my choice to be this way. How can he fault me for that? And at the same time, if he does love her for her plainness, is that why he refuses to change her? Is he afraid of what's not human, is he afraid of himself?

Quietly, he starts to hum that stupid lullaby. He never wrote me a song, never wrote one for Emmett, or Jasper, or Alice, or Carlisle. Esme had a song, but it wasn't for her, she just liked it best. What do you need to have to be put up on a pedestal like that by him? What's wrong with beauty?

I excuse myself. I can't watch it anymore.

As I enter my room, I look in the mirror. I am beautiful, as always. There's nothing I could do to make myself prettier, there are no flaws. Unlike humans, there are no stray tendrils of hair to fix, no blotchy marks that needed to be fixed. I was perfect. I am perfect. It makes me sad to think that there's no point in the mirror being here. Its only purpose is for appearances' sake, just like me. I'm not like the others; I don't have any special gifts, just my beauty. And even in that, I have no purpose. Because I have no flaws I have nothing to work towards.

I can hear Edward carrying Bella to his room. He whispers an 'I love you' to her as he sets her on the newly bought bed. I can hear the springs straining as he joins her on it.

I said no at the vote. I tried to explain it to her in the same way I tried to explain it to myself. I don't want her to lose Edward, I don't want her to suffer like I did when he rejects the thing she'll become. He loves her for her plainness, the simplicity of her humanity, what is there to love when she's changed? I'm only looking out for her, as an older sister might. Isn't that what he wants?

Emmett comes in now, my gardener, the one who looked beyond the thorns and accepted the beauty of a rose. Accepted that some thorns can be taken away if you try at it, and some will remain. Because what is a rose if it has no thorns?

A/N: It's short. I think I may add on to this some day. Some day…

I think I might do an Alice one soon…