Title Comic Relief

Summery The team is tiered, grumpy, and just having a bad day…until Catherine reads a hilarious email. Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the content of the email Catherine receives.

Rating K+

Comments I wrote this at about 4:00 in the morning. Sleep disorders rock! Any way, my mom sent me this email and I wondered what a room full of stressed out law enforcement would do with it. Oh, yeah, no slash intended, but you can interpret the conversation between Nick and Warrick however you want.


Nick and Warrick had processed evidence for ten straight hours, and still they had no leads in the murder of a high school football player.

"I'm taking my break," Nick finally said. "I'm ganna go conk out on the couch in the break room for about an hour."

"Not if I make it to the couch first." Warrick challenged.

Nick threw his hands up in defeat. "You win. I'm to tiered to race you."

"I have an idea. You curl up on one end, I'll curl up on the other, and we both pray that Greg doesn't use it as a photo opportunity."

"Why must we hide what we truly feel?" Nick said with a mischievous grin.

"What I truly feel it exhausted."

"I hear you, brother. Lets go get some sleep."

Sleep was not to come. Already in the break room, Catherine was reading her emails on her laptop. She was making a funny sound, and the boys realized that she was trying to suppress laughter.

"What are you reading?" Nick asked, looking over Catherine's shoulder. This was her breaking point. She exploded with uncontrollable laughter. "What are you laughing at?" he asked again.

When she finally calmed down enough to speak, she answered, "I just got this email from Lindsay. It kills me."

They read the subject, which was labeled "Sloopy Farklefricken" This alone made Nick and Warrick laugh. "What in the heck does that mean?" Catherine scrolled down to let them read the email:

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some
silliness to break
up the day. And, if we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than
not.

Here is your dose of humor

The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants and
the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil
Professor forces everyone to assume new names.

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first
name:

a snickle
b doombah
c goober
d cheesey
e crusty
f greasy
g dumbo
h farcus
i dorky
j doofus
k funky
l boobie
m sleezy
n sloopy
o fluffy
p stinky
q slimy
r dorfus
s snooty
t tootsie
u dipsy
v sneezy
w liver
x skippy
y dinky
z zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of
your new
last name:

a dippin
b feather
c batty
d burger
e chicken
f barffy
g lizard
h waffle
i farkle
j monkey
k flippin
l fricken
m bubble
n rhino
o potty
p hamster
q buckle
r gizzard
s lickin
t snickle
u chuckle
v pickle
w hubble
x dingle
y gorilla
z girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of
your new
last name:

a butt
b boob
c face
d nose
e hump
f breath
g pants
h shorts
i lips
j honker
k head
l tush
m chunks
n dunkin
o brains
p biscuits
q toes
r doodle
s fanny
t sniffer
u sprinkles
v frack
w squirt
x humperdinck
y hiney
z juice

By the end, all three were bursting at the seams with laughter.

"Nick," Warrick informed, "You're Goober Snicklebrains."

"Well, you're Snickle Gizardbrains."

"I'm Tootsi Fracklefricken." Catherine added her new name to the list.

Nick reached into his pocket for his cell phone. "I have no idea where in the building he is, but Greg has to see this."

"Has to see what?" They all looked to see Greg standing in the doorway.

"You have to see this email." Catherine said.

"Yeah," Warrick agreed. "Read up, Mr. Crusty Dippinrhino."

"Hu?" his face twisted into an unrecognizable knot. He leaned over Catherine's shoulder, started reading, and laughed.

"Did you guys figure up Grissom's new name?"

"What is it?" they all looked in the doorway to see yet another person had arrived just in time.

"It's Boobie Gizardfark." Greg told him.

Grissom showed no more emotion than a smirk. "Someone sent me that email a long time ago. I was going to send it out to all of you, but I got sidetracked."

"Am I missing a party?" Sara said in the hall looking into the crowded break room.

"Dorfus Farkleburger!" the group, excluding Grisom, all shouted in unison.

"What?" she said, confused, and joined the giggling mob.

Grissom dully explained, "They have this system where you are supposed to use certain letters of your name to come up with a silly name. You're Dorfus Farkleburger. I'm Boobie Gizardfark." He concluded this with a straight face while Sara almost collapsed to the floor laughing. "You guys had better disperse before Sloopy Battyflippin catches you."


My poor beta almost went into overdrive. It's up to you to figure out who Sloopy Battyflippin is. I'm Dorky Rhinodippin. What's your new name? Review please.

Ones I left out:

Hodges is Sneezy Pottyburger

Brass is Sleezy Gizardbutt