Disclaimer: CCS belongs to CLAMP.

This is written as a gift fic in one of the CCS writing communities in livejournal.


She is the stuff happily-ever-afters are made of. With her long black hair and big dark eyes, one cannot go wrong about it, but as much as her will is strong, her body is weak.

She does not belong to this world. One can only be thankful enough that she has graced their presence. To be with her for a lifetime is too much to ask for.

He does not know how to quit though, and will not accept anything less than what he wishes for, so he follows her one lifetime after another, always losing her in the end. It is the bargain he has made with the Time Witch, along with his memories of her in each lifetime, and a pocket watch which has a small picture of them together.

He is willing to live a thousand lives just to see her smile.


In this lifetime he runs into her again in New York, in the middle of a party hosted by her mother. A friend at the university brought him for company. They fall in love quickly, but she is engaged, to her best friend's lover, much to his surprise.

It does not make sense, so he invited him for tea.

He does not get any answers, only vague pieces of the story which do not add up, and he gets drunk and gets into an accident.

He leaves the hospital bearing no memories of her, of their love, and of her marriage; and he leaves the city to tour the world.

He moves from one city to another with dissatisfaction, a hunger, an insatiable feeling at the pit of his stomach. One morning he finds himself by the gates of a house somewhere in Tokyo, and is ushered by a tall clumsy-looking man towards the living room, where a slender woman with long black hair is drinking wine.

"I came here to have a wish granted," he says.

"If you are willing to pay for the price," she replies, motioning for him to sit down next to her. He follows, and she feels a tinge of amusement and discomfort to how things have changed. Before her is a man who is just as powerful, if not more, as her, asking for a wish.

"I think there is something I do not know."

"We both know that we do not know everything, Clow."

"No, what I mean is, I think I have forgotten something, something important."

"Everything is important, but we need not know everything – that includes what you have forgotten. Sometimes it is best for us not to know."

"But I want to know."

"I do not undo wishes."

"I am fine with that. Please help me, Yuuko," he says looking at her straight in the eyes, "I want to know."

She cringes, disliking how desperate he looks.

"I do not undo wishes," she repeats, "You may leave now."

He leaves with hesitation, and returns every morning more determined than the day before.


"I told you, I do not undo wishes," she scowls at him in between sips of beer on his 10th visit.

"I get it now," he says, walking towards her, "I have been here before, haven't I?"

"For the last ten days, yes," she says, avoiding his eyes.

"Even before that. I have wished for you to take my memory, didn't I?" he says, reaching for her hand

"No," she answers him flatly, pulling her hand away. He looks down at the floor, crestfallen, and she finds herself sighing, and saying in a bare whisper, "You have wished for something else."

He looks at her, unblinking. "And the price to pay is my memory?"

She does not say anything, and looks away yet again.

"Give my memory back," he says with such firmness, she feels her insides churn, "in exchange, you can take whatever it is I have initially asked for."

"I cannot do that."

"You are not undoing a wish. You are just granting one."

"Either way, you will not want that," she says, her eyes moist, her breathing heavy.

"I want it now."

"Were you never told of the saying, 'Be careful what you wish for'?"

"I am being careful here."

"Very well then."


He walks to Tomoeda Hospital with cherry blossoms in hand. In a small pallid room he finds Sakura, the brightness of her green eyes fading, her hands held by Tomoyo, dressed in the same color as Sakura's eyes.

"Eriol," Sakura says with a small smile on her lips.

His eyes water and he can feel his hands shake. Across the room is Syaoran, arms around his chest. He looks old. Shifting his gaze from Syaoran to Sakura and Tomoyo, he feels tears threatening to fall out of the corner of his eyes.

"W-Why?" he croaks, unable to hold his tears.

"When I had your magic, I saw it all. It was all in my dreams. Every night I dreamt of it," she says, holding his hand, "I saw so much hurt out of so much love. I saw so much sadness after a short period of happiness. It was painful. You must be tired."

"That is why you decided to interfere."

"It is my duty to do so."

"You have planned this." He shakes his head, "No, you have seen all of this coming."

"Yes."

"But I am not tired, not for this. Not for her," he says, turning his eyes to Tomoyo. She stands by the edge of the bed, quietly crying. She walks towards him, and cups her cheeks.

"Is a lifetime with me not enough?" she says, tears still falling from her eyes.

"N-No. No," he says, shaking his vehemently shaking his head as he pulls her close as if afraid that she will disappear. "I always lose you, that is why I have wished to be in every lifetime you are in; that our paths will always cross, that I may breathe the air you breathe, that I may see you, that I may be with you, even if it means losing you in the end."

"Sakura made it her dying wish that I be engaged to Syaoran," Tomoyo says, "to put an end to this. She did it for you. For us."

He nods, wiping his tears.

"You need not live one tragic lifetime after another. The two of you can be happy. You have always been happy," Sakura says, smiling, "and I want the two of you to be happy."


Comments are appreciated.
I will be wrapping this up soon.

Side-note: The title has grown out of me. I think I'll change it to something more appropriate next time. Haha. For now it stays.