Notes from the Authoress: Sarutobi Konohamaru x Hyuuga Hanabi. :D There is no love for this pairing. I got this idea and it wouldn't leave me alone, even though I'm not a big NaruHina fan. Ne, Hanabi is rather OOC, but I couldn't help myself. Konohamaru might seem OOC, but you know, I can really picture him being a perv like that (hanging around Naruto, who hangs around Jiraiya, then having Ebisu as a sensei). I never mentioned their ages in the story, but here is what I have decided. Naruto and Hinata are legal, and Konohamaru and Hanabi are close. Yay for ambiguity.

Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue. I don't own Naruto, and neither do you.

Warning: Brief descriptions of Naruto and Hinata "getting it on," as Konohamaru so elegantly put it. Ooh, don't worry, it doesn't go that far. It would have to be rated higher if it did.


Spies at the Window

One Shot


Hanabi didn't particularly like her older sister, but she did like to know everything that went on with everybody. Hanabi was nosy like that. That's why, when Hanabi caught sight of her sister sneaking away in the middle of the night, the younger Hyuuga didn't pause to think, and simply escaped through her window to follow. Hinata made a motion for the guards at the gate to be quiet, and they watched their heir leave wearily but said nothing. Hanabi did the same.

Hinata looked, paranoid, over her shoulder constantly, but Hanabi stayed silent and avoided her sister's gaze. If Hinata was smart, Hanabi thought harshly, she would have activated her Byakugan to make sure she wasn't being followed.

The Hyuuga girls ended up in what wasn't the greatest part of town, but any worries Hinata had did not show through, and she stopped looking over her shoulder to see if she was being followed. Hanabi was weary of anyone who looked at her, and nearly activated her Byakugan several times when someone got too close, but nobody touched her or called for her to stop. Hinata cast one last look behind her as she stopped in front of a building before she went inside.

Hanabi snuck inside to follow her. It was an apartment building. Hinata went up three flights of stairs, and Hanabi caught a glance at the room number Hinata went in when the door opened. Then Hanabi snuck back outside and found the fire escape. She jumped up and caught onto the ladder, and then proceeded to head up the fire escape. She had just touched the ladder heading to the third floor when she felt the need to look up, and saw someone staring down at her.

"Hanabi-chan? What are you doing here?"

"I can ask you the same question," She hissed coldly. She recognized the face staring down at her as her old classmate Konohamaru, and she wasn't entirely happy about it. She ascended the ladder, and Konohamaru offered her his hand when she reached the top, but she climbed over on her own. "Do you live here?" Hanabi asked once she had straightened herself out.

Konohamaru shook his head. "No."

"Well? What are you doing here?" Hanabi asked shortly. Her patience was thin with Konohamaru because she didn't like him at all. He may be the Third Hokage's grandson, but he was an idiot, and worse, he was an idiot who had a crush on her.

"I asked you first," Konohamaru reminded, but he glanced back nervously, as if he was waiting for something or missing something he wanted to see. Hanabi caught it, but she didn't say anything. Instead she walked by him in the direction he'd looked, knowing it was also the direction she needed to go to find a window looking into the apartment Hinata had gone into. She now had a good idea where Hinata might be, if Konohamaru was around.

And she was right. She found the window she was looking for, because Hinata was looking embarrassed and that idiot Uzumaki Naruto was smiling and talking to her. Hanabi had two issues with this picture: 1) Hinata was not allowed to talk to the Uzumaki boy, and 2) this window looked into the Uzumaki boy's bedroom. She heard Konohamaru step up behind her and then he laughed. "So you're spying on your sister then?"

"And you're spying on Uzumaki?" Hanabi guessed, glancing back at him. Konohamaru caught her eyes and nodded, then put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her aside a bit so he could step up next to her at the window. If Naruto or Hinata glanced over to the curtain-less window, they would see Konohamaru and Hanabi staring back, but the two spies weren't entirely worried, mostly because Naruto had just pulled Hinata into a soft kiss that was quickly escalating.

"I knew he was dating her," Konohamaru mumbled under his breath, looking impressed.

Hanabi, however, was completely disgusted. Her stupid, shy sister had to sneak out in the middle of the night to make out with, of all people, the most disgraceful shinobi in the village (Hanabi conveniently left out that he might also be one of the strongest shinobi as well)? If she wasn't watching, she wouldn't believe it, if not only for the fact that she would have bet on her father's life that Hinata would pass out if anyone touched her more than twice in a five minute time period.

"Look how nervous she is," Konohamaru said while nudging Hanabi. "D'you think this is her first time?"

"Her first time what?" Hanabi asked curiously, only suppressing the glare she wanted to shoot at him so he wouldn't hide information from her.

Konohamaru cast Hanabi a disbelieving gaze, then chuckled and shook his head. "You know, Hanabi, for a smart girl, you are extremely naïve." Hanabi took immediate offense. She was not naïve—that was a word reserved for her sister—and did not like to be referred to that way, but before she could correct him, he was continuing. "Look at them. Hinata-san is nervous; Naruto-baka is excited; they're in his bedroom; and I think he just put his hand up her shirt. They're going to have sex."

Hanabi immediately looked back through the window, and indeed, Naruto's hand was definitely up her sister's shirt. Hinata's back was to the window, but Hanabi could see that the tips of her sister's ears were red. "No; I won't allow it," She finally said, a determined look crossing her face. "Hinata knows better—"

"Oh, don't be a party pooper," Konohamaru interrupted while giving Hanabi a small, playful shove and earning a glare in return. "Your sister's having fun. Besides, what are you going to do, burst in there and yell for it to stop? Then you'll look like some crazed freak pervert. You are standing outside their bedroom window and watching them get it on, you know."

For a lack of better reply, the answer was, "So are you."

Konohamaru grinned proudly. "Why, yes, I am."

Hanabi could have smacked him, but she turned her attention back to the window, a sick curiosity dragging her to know what exactly the Uzumaki boy was doing to Hinata. Konohamaru quieted down to watch as well. Hanabi wondered why Konohamaru was there—was he that much of a pervert that he really wanted to watch the older two get it on, or was he spying on Naruto much the same way that Hanabi was spying on Hinata? Well, this was Konohamaru; the answer probably contained "pervert" somewhere.

Hanabi had labeled him pervert ever since the day he decided she denied his advances because she was a lesbian and used the Oiroke (Sexy) no Jutsu…nearly killed him for it, too.

Watching was a little awkward. Hands were roaming (Hanabi had to look away for several moments when Hinata slipped her hands down Naruto's pants because it was just too creepy), words of encouragement and shyness were exchanged when lips weren't locked, and hickeys were definitely going to be around the next day. Hanabi twitched a little when Naruto's shirt was abandoned, but the moment he started lifting up Hinata's shirt, Hanabi smacked her hands over Konohamaru's eyes.

"All right, it's time to go," Hanabi hissed, knowing that Konohamaru was correct in where this was going. She also had the feeling he would stick around. After all, Ebisu-sensei's closet pervert nature had been exposed, and she doubted that Konohamaru wasn't affected by it (and it didn't help that Naruto wasn't the prime role model, as he had been affected by Jiraiya-sama and even Kakashi-sensei).

"Hey, come on," Konohamaru hissed as he tried to pry Hanabi's hands from his eyes, but when he succeeded, she simply pushed him away from the window.

"I said it's time to go," Hanabi stated, casting a quick glance in the window to see that Hinata's shirt was gone and Naruto was kissing her neck. What surprised her was that Naruto was making a "leave" motion behind Hinata's back…

How in the hell did he know they were there?

"Aw, come on, Hanabi-chan," Konohamaru complained, drawing Hanabi's attention back to him. "You can't tell me that you don't want to watch."

"Yes, I can," Hanabi stated while crossing her arms over her chest. "Now move it before I make you."

Konohamaru cast a weary glance at Hanabi, lingering on her eyes for a moment as if suspecting she was about to activate the Byakugan. Then he smirked, a smirk Hanabi knew well because he used it whenever he was about to use pick-up lines on her. She narrowed her eyes to a glare in hopes of deterring him. "Maybe you'd like it a little better if it was happening to you," Konohamaru suggested innocently as he stepped forward.

Hanabi looked as if she might kill, but that didn't stop Konohamaru (and the fact that she still didn't have her Byakugan activated made her less of a threat, since she used the gentle fist style). He grasped her chin and tipped her head up, a little surprised that she wasn't protesting, although she still looked murderous. It was the closest he had ever gotten to her before. He leaned forward slowly, wondering whether or not he was pushing his luck. She closed her eyes, making Konohamaru turn red—she was going to let him.

He didn't expect Hanabi to punch him in the jaw. She spun away from him as soon as the action was made, knowing that her fist probably hurt more than his jaw, but feeling a little satisfied with it anyway. She had never actually punched someone. "You're a pervert," She sneered before pointing to the ladder, and the only reason she wasn't giving him a good talking to was because she didn't want Hinata to realize they were there.

"Ugh—fine," Konohamaru grumbled, rubbing his sore jaw. He was lucky that Hanabi wasn't any other girl or she might have broken it. He never thought he would be happy that Hanabi used gentle fist (she was the cause of more internal damage to his body than any mission he'd ever been on, but it was worth it).

Konohamaru went down the ladder first, and Hanabi followed. He was a little disappointed that she wasn't wearing a skirt, but at the look she gave him when he stared longingly at her, maybe it was a good thing. He didn't want to die tonight. When they reached the bottom, Hanabi instantly made to leave, but Konohamaru caught up with her. "I'll walk you home," He offered cheerfully, not entirely intimidated by her. "It's late; I don't want you getting into any trouble out here."

Hanabi was tempted to tell him to go home, but she remembered what part of town she was in. She could take care of herself, but if her father ever found out that she wasn't home right now, she would be in it deep. "If you even attempt to touch me, Konohamaru," She said in her somewhat stoic tone that showed she was more pissed at him than he could even imagine. "They'll never find your body."

"Point taken," Konohamaru promised. He had the feeling she was serious. The walk back to the Hyuuga compound was uneventful. Konohamaru kept his promise, and Hanabi calmed her usually even temper (Konohamaru brought out the worst in her). The guards at the gate gave Konohamaru another weary look, but they knew better than to say anything.

"You," Hanabi said as she turned to Konohamaru and placed a finger on his chest, giving him a small push that did nothing. "will go back and make sure that he gets Hinata home before my father finds out she is missing. If she gets into any trouble, I will personally come after you."

"Yes, ma'am," Konohamaru said somewhat sarcastically. He was under the impression that Hanabi didn't like her sister much, but apparently she cared enough to make sure someone looked after her.

"And if you dare go back up to that window—trust me, baka, I'll know," Hanabi warned.

"All right, I won't," Konohamaru answered, and he wouldn't. He had no idea how Hanabi found certain things out, but when she said she would, she would, and he didn't want to test her all that much tonight. Besides, he didn't really want to see anything more either. He only stayed so long because Hanabi's expressionless face twisting into emotion was something he couldn't miss no matter what his eyes had to suffer through. He could watch a bit of making out, maybe some clothes being tossed away, but when it got to the "good stuff" there was no way he was sticking around. He'd just been curious as to what Naruto was up to, since the older boy had told Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon that he wasn't going to come over to play board games that night (Moegi and Udon had protested spying on Naruto-niichan; they'd grown something similar to a conscience when it came to those things).

Hanabi dropped her hand, observing Konohamaru for a long moment. "Good boy," She finally said, surprising him, before she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and turned. Konohamaru hardly knew what she had done because she was already walking away. "Thanks for walking me home," She called back after she'd gone past the gates.

Konohamaru decided he'd offer to walk her home more often. He only wondered a little bit: Does she hate me? Does she like me? Why did she kiss me if she punched me earlier?

Is she bipolar?


Notes from the Authoress: Let's just say I wrote this with a six-year-old bugging me to play pinball and proofread it the morning after becoming very, very drunk (only on New Years Eve, I swear it's the only time I drink like that). I don't expect to get many reviews because, really, how many people care about Konohamaru or Hanabi individually, let alone as a couple? So if you've read this, I'd appreciate a review.