Reaching for Moonlight
Pairing: Hikaru x Kaoru, Kyouya x Kaoru, and slight Hikaru x Haruhi
Warnings: Incest, Hikaru's dirty mouth, angst, sex.
Summary: Kaoru pushed Hikaru away only to have him come right back.
Author's Notes: So I jumped on the not-as-cracktastic Kyouya x Kaoru side-pairing bandwagon. On a side note, I apologize for the obscene length of this fic. It wouldn't stop, really.
Reaching for Moonlight
heart that truly loves never forgets."
He picked the dress for her again. It was pink this time, because whenever Kaoru thought of pink, he thought of his brother. It was long and frilly and embroidered with roses around the waist, and he knew that she would look beautiful, and that Hikaru would think so too. He personally delivered it to her after Host Club activities when Hikaru was fleetingly elsewhere, and politely requested (with that grin of his) that she wear it to the Club sponsored celebration later in the month. Haruhi was slightly suspicious but agreed.
And when Kaoru finally saw her there on the ballroom floor, with her brown hair clipped back with the sparkling crystal pins he provided her and the feminine rose gown on her small frame, he smiled a little wistfully, because Hikaru blushed.
The ballroom was unnecessarily ornate, and it smelled like some musky nighttime scent of some flowers that seemed only appropriate—Tono had picked them, since he had a flair for such things. The twins themselves were fashionably late by thirty-five minutes; before leaving their residence, Hikaru insisted that he needed toast and spilled some maple syrup on his fancy suit. This meant that Kaoru needed to change his outfit as well, because, of course, their visual congruence was mandatory.
"Hey, Hikaru," Kaoru heard himself say, peering through the crowd a little. The welcoming ceremony was over when they arrived and Haruhi and Tono were nowhere in sight.
"We should tease Tono a little today, don't you think?"
"Hmm?" His twin turned to look at him, his head cocked slightly in interest. "What did you have in mind, Kaoru?"
"Well, you know what'll make him really mad?"
"If someone flirted with Haruhi. Or if someone danced with her. He'd throw a fit."
Hikaru smirked a little. "Good idea, Kaoru. Go ask her to dance with you, and I'll find Tono and make up some story about how you went on a date with her yesterday." His grin was oddly endearing, and Kaoru paused, pulling on an air of thoughtfulness.
"I think you should go dance with her, Hikaru. I mean, you actually did go on a date with her and all, and well, I remember how Tono reacted to it." He gave a small laugh.
Hikaru blinked. "Tono can't tell us apart, though, so it wouldn't matter." He crossed his arms a little and glanced to the side. "Besides, you're better with these sorts of things. I can't ask her to dance with me."
"Of course you can, Hikaru," Kaoru urged, "and besides, even if Tono can't tell us apart, Haruhi can. She might tell him, and it won't have quite the effect."
"I guess…" Hikaru hesitated.
"Oh, come on, Hikaru!" Kaoru insisted. "If I can asker her to go on a date, you can ask her to dance. Do it for the look on Tono's face." He grinned, though the muscles in his face felt particularly tight.
Hikaru didn't grin back, but Kaoru noticed the look of nervousness and anticipation masked behind some level of annoyance. "Well…fine, I guess." He looked around the ballroom to find Haruhi speaking with a customer and Tamaki standing with her.
"Go on," Kaoru encouraged, pressing his hand to his twin's back and giving a gentle push. Hikaru turned back for a moment, before walking ahead, but this time Kaoru did not watch him leave.
The world danced by, and Kaoru took a moment to acknowledge that Hikaru and Haruhi looked good together, really. Both were beautiful and pale, with wide eyes of varying shades of warmth, and the pink tint of Hikaru's cheeks matched perfectly with the color of Haruhi's dress. Kaoru felt a particular pounding in his ears and the fruity punch he sipped was tasteless.
For some reason, he felt unusually irate. Perhaps because he couldn't stop imagining the sound of Hikaru's breathing when he slept and the touch of his white hand.
"I'm glad to see you two made it eventually, Kaoru."
A thick, deep voice drifted toward him and Kaoru slowly moved his now alert eyes to the origin of the sound: Kyouya.
"Kyouya-sempai?" Kaoru's eyes held a trace of surprise that it seemed the older boy detected, because he smiled in that placid way of his.
"I know that you are Kaoru because Hikaru is the one dancing with Haruhi."
The irritation grew just a bit more. "Oh—yes," he muttered, not bothering to smile this time, because Kyouya was smiling enough for the both of them.
"You both missed the welcoming ceremony."
"Where's your clipboard, sempai?"
"It isn't quite appropriate for the occasion. Please be punctual next time, since quite a few of your customers were quite disappointed."
Kaoru simply nodded and had a rather nonchalant look on his face as he poignantly ignored the familiar auburn color that passed by the periphery. When Kyouya said nothing more, he turned back ahead and let his gaze wash over the crowd of dancing couples, stepping in time with each other and the music, their smiles never waning and the reflection of the bright artificial lights in their eyes never fading away.
He looked, and Hikaru's eyes were glowing. Another sip of punch was promptly in order.
"Do you think he's fallen in love?" Kyouya glanced over at the younger twin, his eyes dark and knowing.
"No…maybe not." Kaoru said a little quickly. "He's really dense. He wouldn't know."
A small smile twisted up the corner of the younger twin's mouth, perhaps from obligation and perhaps from fondness toward his brother's emotionally raw character. He turned to face the questioner, the trace of a smile leaving for a moment. "Why are you asking?"
Kyouya simpered. "Business could get complicated. What would become of the brotherly love act if such a thing happened?"
Kaoru felt the words grip his heart and squeeze—Kyouya's pacific eyes and small smile made the twin's blood boil. "Yes, well…it's just an act, after all," he said hastily, some annoyance bleeding through his voice. "It can still go on. We're good actors. Professionals, pretty much."
"Valid point," Kyouya conceded, though his attentions changed when a pretty blonde girl approached him and asked him to dance. Putting on what Kaoru recognized as his most gentlemanly smile, Kyouya nodded and took her hand, before disappearing into the crowd as well.
All in all, the party was a success. Money was made and girls were satisfied, and Kaoru had succeeded in giving Hikaru another little push ahead. It all went according to plan, and by the end Kaoru was content and had the tangy aftertaste of punch in his mouth.
"Kaoru, there you are!" His twin's familiar voice arrived, followed by a hand grasping his shoulder from behind as he exited the ballroom. Kaoru turned around to see the annoyed slant of Hikaru's mouth.
"Oh, Hikaru. What is it? Where's Haruhi?"
"Where the hell were you all this time?" Hikaru's brows furrowed, and Kaoru blinked. So he did notice. In effort to keep Hikaru with Haruhi, Kaoru had made himself rather elusive and out of his brother's sight when he wasn't dancing. Because he knew that if Hikaru saw him alone, he would come for him, and he couldn't allow for such selfishness.
"Dancing," Kaoru stated plainly. "Entertaining. Where's Haruhi?"
"I don't know," Hikaru's annoyance was threatening to grow into something bigger. "Why didn't you come find me?"
"Well…" Kaoru's voice drifted for a moment, but he was quickly distracted when he saw Haruhi leave the entrance to the ballroom, alone. "Ah—Haruhi!" He called out, and Hikaru turned back as well toward the dark-haired girl.
Haruhi's head perked slightly and she looked over at the two, wide brown eyes glowing slightly with the light of the chandeliers. "Hikaru, Kaoru," she acknowledged the two, before slowly stepping toward them. Hikaru dropped his hand from Kaoru's shoulder to cross his arms on his chest, and his posture screamed in irritation. The girl glanced at him for a moment before turning back to Kaoru. "So, about this dress—"
Kaoru quickly cut her off. "Oh, don't worry about it," he smiled congenially. "It's a nice dress. It looks good on you. Right, Hikaru?"
Hikaru looked over and gruffly nodded, before turning his head away once more. Kaoru's own irritation began to blossom.
"So, are you going home alone?" Kaoru eyed the girl before him, who simply watched him with a clear gaze.
"Well…I guess." She said slowly, letting her eyes drift to a clock on the adjacent wall. It was exactly eleven forty-two.
"That's a bad idea," Kaoru insisted, letting his brows knit in concern. "Especially this late at night."
"I suppose, but—" Haruhi never finished her sentence.
"I know!" Kaoru said, smiling contentedly, "Hikaru can walk you home."
"What, me?" Hikaru growled, and he would have sounded fairly threatening if not for his rapidly flushing cheeks. "Ah—well…" he turned his face away from them both brusquely. "…I guess—Kaoru, you're coming too, right?"
Kaoru paused, putting a finger to his cheek in thought. "I would, but I need to speak with Kyouya-sempai about something. You two go ahead, I'll get a ride with him." He smiled, as if it was the brightest idea in the world.
"We'll wait for you," Hikaru insisted, but Kaoru shook his head.
"It may take a while. You two just go ahead, really!"
"Well," Haruhi cut in, her mouth twisted into a small frown, "I could always ask my father to pick me up—"
"Nonsense, Haruhi. Hikaru can take you home. Don't worry about it." Kaoru insisted, and Hikaru raised an eyebrow and looked like he was about to give his two cents on the matter, but at the fleeting look that Kaoru shot him, stayed silent. "Now go on, you two." He smiled, and Hikaru hesitantly turned away once more. Kaoru was gone before he turned back.
The chandeliers were turned off, and the only lights that remained were the considerably dimmer light bulbs and halogens. Tono had probably left, as had Honey-sempai and Mori-sempai; Kaoru assumed that the former had gotten sleepy an hour or so ago anyway. The jacket to his suit lay folded in his arms and the dark blue color turned black as he closed the door to the ornate room and stepped into the hallway. It was probably quite late; Kaoru decided to linger in the building for a while longer to allow Hikaru and Haruhi some distance before he himself made his way home.
The large window to his left was polished and shining and the moonlight glinted cleanly off the steel rods that crossed the glass. It was a serene night for the most part, though a particular haze hung in front of the moon and stars, dispersing the light from the sky into large blotches of white upon a grey-blue background. Kaoru peered through the glass, and he could make out what seemed like Haruhi's profile turning past the gates of the school to the sidewalk outside. Kaoru watched that very spot for a long time.
He wondered if Hikaru would have the grit to kiss her that night, in front of her door under the dusky light of stars. Or maybe if Haruhi would kiss him, and he wondered if she'd invite him inside. He felt his chest ache, and his tongue thicken and throat dry, and he thought of what Hikaru would look like, leaning down a little, his eyes closed, pressing his small mouth to Haruhi's. His eyelashes would flutter, and his cheeks flush, and maybe Haruhi would put a hand on his shoulder. And then they would part, and Haruhi would smile gently with moonlight glowing on her face and Hikaru would abruptly look away, and Haruhi would know.
Kaoru had always known that it could never be them against the world forever. It occurred to him one night when he was eight. Hikaru was asleep, and the thought of watching his brother go made him sob into the bed sheets until Hikaru woke up and told him to please stop crying and that it's okay. Finally, it was all coming to pass. Hikaru found the person who he would come to value the most, and Kaoru could do nothing but push him along, because that was what a good brother would do. Hikaru's happiness is Kaoru's happiness, after all.
But somehow, the growing ache in his chest disagreed, and Kaoru was irritated for the third time that night.
"Still here, Kaoru?"
The younger twin gave a start and turned. It was Kyouya once more, clipboard in hand this time. His skin gleamed porcelain in the moonlight and his wan lips were pressed into a convenient smile.
"Haruhi told me before she left that you were looking for me to discuss something of urgency, but I didn't think you'd stay around till midnight." His smile was still there, and Kaoru blinked, his mind racing for an excuse.
"Oh—yes, well, it's really not all that important. It was about Hikaru and my recent sales and all." He said quickly, letting his eyes dart back outside, searching for that spot where he last saw Haruhi. "You know, those things that you live for."
"Really?" Kyouya stepped toward him so that they were standing side by side and turned to the window, tucking his clipboard under his arm. "I didn't think you were so curious."
"Yes, well…" Kaoru drifted off and found himself too irate to bother to complete the sentence.
Apparently, nothing else needed to be said on the matter because Kyouya pulled out his clipboard and wrote something else. Kaoru's brows were slightly furrowed and he felt his stomach churn in nervousness; perhaps half out of wonderment as to what Hikaru and Haruhi were doing at the moment, and perhaps half was out of the fact that he and Kyouya were standing alone in an empty hallway when nobody else was at school.
"What do you write on that thing?" Kaoru glanced over, his nervous annoyance sprinkled through his words. He moved closer and tried to take a glance around the clipboard to its mysterious contents on the other side, though at that point Kyouya had finished writing and pressed the board closer to his chest.
"You don't need to know," he said simply.
"Are you writing something about me?" Kaoru looked up at him, vague curiosity in his eyes.
"Don't flatter yourself, Kaoru," Kyouya said, and he smiled a little more when Kaoru glanced aside in embarrassment, "it's just things that need to be recorded."
"I want to see it," Kaoru insisted, though his face turned away to the hazy world outside. The white light from the sky blinded him. He was acting like Hikaru and the thought made his skin prickle just a bit.
"What will you do for it?"
Kaoru turned to face him again, and Kyouya's placid smile just irked him all the more, though he kept a fairly expressionless face. He didn't like the gaze that the other boy was giving him, that penetrating gaze that told him that he knew every single nook and crevice of his mind. "What do you want me to do for it?" He asked without thinking, involuntarily.
Kyouya leant the clipboard against the windowsill and reached up to remove his glasses slowly, before folding them and placing them next to the clipboard. Kaoru watched his slow, deliberate movements and the way that his skin glowed in the night. The redhead gave a start when three of Kyouya's white fingers came around to hold his chin. "You can get creative, Kaoru." His smile was almost a smirk, and Kaoru was left guessing until he thought he saw the other's face get just a little closer.
The younger boy opened his mouth just slightly before closing it again. He felt a familiar heat crawl up his neck to settle comfortably on his cheekbones, and thought he could feel the flow of blood making its way away from his head to contribute to the blush forming on his cheeks. When Kyouya's smirk started to fade a little and he removed his hand, Kaoru quickly leaned forward and, clumsily, pressed his lips to Kyouya's own.
They were both surprised, it seemed; Kyouya because he let out what could have been interpreted as a small stoic gasp, and Kaoru because he pulled away immediately afterward in a haze of second-guesses before doing it again.
The rest of it was a blur for the most part, and Kaoru remembered nothing but the feeling of hot, wet kisses on the side of his face and neck, and the feeling of hands neatly unbuttoning his shirt and methodically slipping inside. He remembered bumping noses a few times from his own inexperience and feeling another chest against his own. Kyouya must have pushed his bare back against the chilly window at one point, because he recalled letting out a small shout at the cold burning against his white-hot skin. The clipboard fell to the floor in a clamor and Kaoru vaguely wondered if the glasses had gone down with it, but stopped caring when Kyouya's meticulous hand came to tweak a nipple.
It was twelve twenty-two and Kaoru bit down on Kyouya's shoulder in his passionate daze. A more reasonable part of him told him to stop before things got out of hand—there was absolutely no good reason as to why he was doing this with Kyouya at an obscenely late hour at school, and that he was simply mad because Hikaru was off with Haruhi and Kyouya was surprisingly good with his mouth and hands for being so reserved and clement all the time—
And then he considered facing the truth that he was afraid of being left behind. He watched Hikaru take one step, and then two steps, and then three away from him and their lives together, and he was afraid that in the end, there would be only him, watching from behind barred gates while Hikaru smiled his pretty smile at a girl with dark brown hair and the clearest of eyes.
The thought made Kaoru's body ache and his head spin, and he leaned up and pressed his lips against Kyouya's once more, firmly and insistently, and he was surprised at his own wanton audacity as he found his hands traveling to Kyouya's lower body before stopping just above the buckle of his belt.
For a moment, Kaoru felt the weight of Kyouya's lips leave his own, though he kept his eyes closed, his hand trembling.
"Did you hear that?" Kyouya's low voice broke the sound of gently gasping breaths.
"Hear what?" Kaoru breathed, the only thing encompassing him being the sultry sound of Kyouya's whisper and the disgustingly wanton sound of his own breathing.
Kyouya's face turned and the light from the sky tangled between his dark strands of hair. Kaoru's mind slowly escaped from the curtain of desire that had shrouded it as the idea that they were not as alone as they thought sunk in, and he turned his face as well, but only to look for the dress shirt that had been removed from his being at one hazy point in time.
The younger boy felt the warmth of Kyouya's chest leave his own, and it did not feel as awkward as he suspected it would.
"Do you need a ride home, Kaoru?" Kyouya's voice was deep and businesslike and it didn't have that husky sound that it did before. Kaoru turned to him to see him buttoning up his shirt. His hands were as neat as ever and Kaoru almost smiled.
"I can walk," he replied casually, tucking in his shirt. His voice sounded strangely unfamiliar.
"If you insist," Kyouya said, and left it at that.
"So…" Kaoru wanted to laugh, and he pursed his lips together. There was some perverse levity in the situation that caused a nervous fluttering in his chest. "…Can I see what's written in your clipboard?"
Kyouya's smile was almost a smirk as he handed it to him.
The night was dark and brisk, and the mist covering the sky seemed to only thicken. Kaoru found himself glancing to his sides and behind him every now and then, walking as quietly as possible as if to detect any other footsteps in the vicinity; he found himself itching with paranoia and he expected some shady figure to jump out at any moment. It was a strange feeling, walking alone in the middle of the night without someone to hold his hand or put an arm around his shoulder and laugh away the fear.
Perhaps he would have been prudent to ask Kyouya for a ride as he had suggested, but it was only now that the full weight of the situation back in that empty hallway began to push him down fully.
He was partially anticipative—that was the first time such a thing had happened to him and it would have been a lie to say that he wasn't curious. The feeling of someone else's hands on his body doing such things as Kyouya was had left burning handprints on his chest and neck and the thick hot wetness of tongue had branded his lips.
But the larger part of him felt nervous and defensive and uncouth. Although there was nothing holding him from such things, he felt as if he had not only betrayed his brother, he had betrayed the us that he and his brother were. Of course, the us was slowly disintegrating into you and me, catalyzed by Haruhi's intrusion into the heart of their world, but Kaoru felt that he was only prying us apart further with his actions, something he hadn't meant to do. For a fleeting moment, he was afraid.
Hikaru was slipping through his fingers so fast that he could hardly brace himself, and he had nobody to thank but himself. The bittersweet quality of their slow, progressive separation intoxicated him with nostalgia and heartache and some daring, brash feeling that had propelled him to grab Kyouya's face and kiss the starlight out of his eyes.
Perhaps it was loneliness, or something like that.
The Hitachiin estate got clearer as Kaoru walked delicately toward it, his steps small and measured. He wondered if Hikaru was already asleep, and an all too familiar image of Hikaru's white skin reflecting the light of the moon came to mind and that viscous feeling at the pit of his stomach returned.
It was one-seventeen and not even the maids were awake. Kaoru started to feel sleepy and his legs began to ache and his chest was heavy. His feet felt like lead as he walked up the flights of stairs to the room he shared with Hikaru, and Kaoru felt his heartbeat quicken for the umpteenth time that day in anticipation of seeing that small bump under the covers where his twin should be.
He pushed open the door and he was startled, because although Hikaru was there, he was awake and sitting up, his posture nonchalant and perhaps irritated in that precarious way. Kaoru blinked.
"Hikaru? Why aren't you asleep? It's really late."
Kaoru stepped inside and closed the door behind him, locking it out of habit. He shrugged off the jacket and placed it on a convenient nearby chair before starting to unbutton his shirt—though, he noted as he felt his own hands push the buttons through the holes, not with as much deliberate meaning as when Kyouya did so. The thought made him flush just a little.
"I could ask you the same thing." Hikaru got up, and Kaoru noted that he had left his dress pants on, which signaled that his twin hadn't intended on sleeping.
"Yes, well—" Kaoru started to speak, but was cut off by Hikaru's trembling voice.
"Is that what you needed to speak to Kyouya about?"
Kaoru blinked. His heartbeat quickened in nervousness. "What?"
He paused his movements to look at his twin, who was standing still and watching him with some possessive fierceness in his eyes. They stepped toward each other at the same time.
"Don't sound so fucking clueless," Hikaru growled and Kaoru felt blood drain from his face.
That feeling of utter baseness returned and he found his throat particularly dry. Hikaru knew? But he had walked Haruhi home, and Kaoru had even seen him do so. The younger twin opened his mouth only to find that words could not escape it. Instead, he grabbed Hikaru's wrist earnestly, as if urging him to calm.
"I waited around for a little less than an hour, Kaoru! I told Tono to take Haruhi home."
Hikaru's face was contorted in some incensed malcontentment, and Kaoru wondered if he should feel defensive or upset or inexplicably relieved.
"You—" Kaoru started, tugging on Hikaru's wrist for emphasis, only to have his twin wrench it out of his grasp. "You were supposed to walk her home! You…Hikaru, you're such an idiot!"
"Don't call me an idiot!" Hikaru snapped back, and Kaoru imagined the windows breaking. "If you were doing such—such things with Kyouya, you should have at least told me!"
"You were supposed to walk her home!" Kaoru repeated helplessly, and he felt that frustration peaking.
"Why?" Hikaru shouted, his voice peeling the wallpaper off the walls. "So you could have your little make-out session with—"
"No!" Kaoru found himself shouting as well, and he felt the back of his throat burn. It wasn't often that he shouted back at his brother. "I figured you and Haruhi could use some time together, that's why!"
"Time with Haruhi?" Hikaru repeated, his voice incredulous and brimming with choler. "What sort of a stupid excuse is that? Just admit that you wanted to get into Kyouya's pants, and we'll leave it at that!"
Kaoru felt his face flush angrily. "Hikaru! It's not like that! Stop getting so worked up and just listen for a minute!" He felt his fists clench and his jaw tighten. "I only did it because you obviously like Haruhi! I thought you'd like some time alone!"
Hikaru's own face reddened, and Kaoru felt that nostalgia return. "I don't like Haruhi, Kaoru! What are you, an idiot?"
"You're the idiot, Hikaru!" Kaoru felt a lump in his throat and his chest constricted painfully about his heart. "It's so obvious that you like her! You're always talking about her, and you're always looking at her when you think I'm not watching!" His eyes clenched shut. "I just figured that since you wouldn't do anything about it yourself, I'd help you along!"
"Kaoru…" The younger twin opened his eyes and saw Hikaru's face caught between some fury and embarrassment. His voice was dark, and Kaoru felt particularly venomous.
"So if I want to go make out with Kyouya, what do I have to stop me? Why the hell shouldn't I?" It was unsaid until then.
Hikaru's hands appeared on either of his shoulders and the next thing that Kaoru was aware of was the thud of his back hitting the wall directly behind him. He looked and his twin's face was flushed in either anger or some awkwardness that he himself was feeling as well. They were both very still until Hikaru moved forward a little and Kaoru stiffened.
"Shut up, Kaoru."
The air was thick and heavy and filled with some tangible substance that heated Kaoru's face, dripped off his cheeks and hung erotically off the edge of Hikaru's white lip. Kaoru shuddered, and felt his motor functions promptly shut down.
He didn't apologize. He never would, because although he was the more tempered of the twins, he still had pride. And besides, it wasn't as if he had done anything wrong. Hikaru moved forward a little more and Kaoru knew that his twin was hesitating and he knew what he wanted to do but refused to believe it. He felt his face heat and blood rush from his head, and he leaned against the wall a little more. Hikaru's hands on his shoulders were firm and not-so-gentle.
"That was your first kiss, wasn't it?" Hikaru asked, his voice low and drawling and angry, and Kaoru found his fingers trembling at the possessive undertone. "Unless there are other things you haven't been telling me."
Kaoru found his cheeks heat further. "You know there isn't," he said, and his voice was surprisingly annoyed. He paused for a moment, letting the viscous air diffuse through his breath and skin.
Hikaru's growl was so close. "You gave your first kiss to Kyouya? To that opportunistic bastard?"
"Well, who was I supposed to give it to, then?" Kaoru spat. Hikaru was dangerously close, and Kaoru brought up his eyes to meet his twin's. Hikaru was angry, and his eyes were dark and Kaoru could see his own defensive face reflected in those golden irises. Hikaru's hot breath on his mouth made him shudder and press himself into the wall. "I suspected you'd give yours to Haruhi—"
"Shut up about Haruhi already!" Hikaru was yelling and his voice was louder than Kaoru recalled because he was so, so close. "I don't like—"
"Yes, you do! You—" Kaoru insisted, turning his face slightly away, only to have Hikaru roughly grab his head and turn it right back.
"I do not! Now you listen to me, Kaoru!" Wild ire slipped from Hikaru's tongue. "I like her, but it's not like how you make it out to be! I was interested because she could tell us apart, Kaoru! I wanted to know how she did it and I was curious about her, because she's so different from everyone else. That's all! And then you had to go make such a huge deal out of it and set us up on that date—" Kaoru flushed a little sheepishly; he had assumed that his brother still didn't know that he had only feigned sickness that day. "—And making us dance all of today while you ran off with Kyouya!"
"That was only after the party!" He blurted, and was embarrassed because he knew that it didn't make anything better at all.
"Never mind it, Kaoru." Hikaru's voice was deep and Kaoru hated the way it trembled.
A pregnant silence passed between them and Hikaru dropped one arm from Kaoru's shoulder, and then the other. His body was warm and brimming with emotion and Kaoru could feel the heat radiating from his twin's arms and chest. Hikaru didn't move and Kaoru watched the side of his face, where a sliver of light highlighted his cheekbone, and for a second, Kaoru allowed himself to acknowledge that his brother was beautiful.
It was almost narcissism, and Hikaru's lips parted delicately and Kaoru found himself following suit. They leaned toward each other simultaneously, but Hikaru stopped out of embarrassment and it was Kaoru who finally bumped their mouths together, a blush spreading rapidly across his face.
Hikaru's lips were warm and a little chapped, and somehow they were just so familiar. Kaoru felt his knees shake as the realization of what exactly they were doing sunk in, when Hikaru's arm wrapped around his waist and pressed their bodies together, and the prospect of stopping to think about what was happening left his mind immediately.
Hikaru needed no further encouragement, it seemed, because he experimentally parted Kaoru's mouth with his tongue and deepened the kiss. The younger twin found it difficult to remain standing; he felt his thoughts bleed into one another and his knees were all of a sudden made of rubber. The skin of Hikaru's bare waist was white and soft and so, so lascivious.
By the time their lips had parted, Kaoru had been somehow shoved backward onto a bed and his head was throbbing a little from being maybe-bumped against a headboard. A hand was traveling up his hastily tucked in shirt and Kaoru opened his eyes to see a mass of red hair shining copper-grey in the moonlight. A soft utterance escaped his lips and he didn't know where it came from.
Hikaru growled something utterly base into his left ear. His voice was lewd and dark, his breath was wet and hot against his earlobe, and Kaoru was only a little embarrassed as he felt himself reacting. He lost all sense of dignity when something warm, thick and rigid pressed against his upper thigh, at which he let out some sound that Hikaru would later tell him was the most erotic thing in the world, and rolled his hips upward.
Kaoru knew that they were breaking two or three taboos with one act, but it was so easy to do so—Hikaru was so close and enthusiastic and his voice was so dark and so arousing and risqué and his face—his face, his body was like home. And when he felt two coated fingers push into him, Hikaru leant down and told him something he only half heard right against his ear, so close, so close, "…and you can never let anyone else do this to you, Kaoru. You can't let anyone touch you like this, because you're my brother…"
Kaoru couldn't find the words to reply, and instead found his breathing quicken and his own anticipation rising at the lust in his brother's eyes. Hikaru was impatient, and he could tell that he was using all restraint possible as he pushed a third in, and just for good measure, a fourth. Kaoru was panting and moaning and telling him to stop that and just put it in. Hikaru didn't oblige until too much later and when he did, Kaoru slipped his arms around his twin's shoulders and pulled him as close as he could.
Amidst the sounds of Hikaru's moans and shouts and some others that may or may not have been his own, Kaoru remembered the way that his twin always turned back to look at him when he made him walk away.
Somehow, the thought made him feel very secure, and he almost laughed.
The dark light outside was fading away slowly, and the sky turned from black to bluish-grey. The stars still shone behind a blanket of mist and Kaoru was only remotely aware of his name being uttered.
Hikaru's arms around his waist were comforting and the scent of his body was heavy and clement. Kaoru's eyes fluttered.
"Kaoru." Hikaru's voice was insistent.
His own voice was thick, and he didn't feel like talking. They had done enough talking—rather, shouting—for one night, and even though the issue at hand hadn't been resolved, he wouldn't bring it up until later. For now, he was content with the rise and fall of Hikaru's chest and the way the light from the dark sky traced shapes along the side of his face.
A pause followed, and Hikaru shifted a little. Kaoru reached up and pulled on a stray strand of moonlight falling just below his cheekbone. Hikaru smiled and his fingers relaxed against the small of Kaoru's back.
"What really was written on Kyouya's clipboard?"
Kaoru grinned a bit against his brother's shoulder and told him.