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When Saya Sleeps
He Doesn't Know What To Do
Uncertainty lay in his heart. Haji was undecided.
He sat there - in the dark alleyway - unsure. It was a new feeling for him - this indecision. To sit there unsure, like a lump of useless lead.
I know what Saya would say, the dark-haired Chevalier mused.
"See the world for me, Haji - just what you and I promised to do together when we were young!"
"Don't let me hold you back - I want you to live for yourself, too!"
"Haji!" (laughing at her silent companion). "Don't be so dull! Get out sometime! I'm sure girls would like you around!"
Haji watched the girls now - from his secluded corner of the Parisian square - opposite his favorite haunt - a riverside park.
They seem like flowers to me - beautiful, vivid - something I can't reach - Whenever I reach for those flowers... when they lie in my hand...
Saya... I am cursed.
And so, the cellist was uncertain.
Those flowers are not for me, he thought. Besides... like flowers wither, these - these - all this - will pass away - and in this eternity of mine, there stands only Saya...
I love you. I can't do without you, Saya.
And so, Haji was divided. Between that world of sunlight and petals dancing in the wind - and the shadows of the grimy alleyway he peered out from.
A part of him felt happy - Saya was safely sound asleep in her warm cocoon. A part of him felt cheated - that Kai had been the lucky one to watch Saya close her bright eyes -
And where had he been?
Lying in a gutter half-dead - and Saya's sword clutched by his chiropteran hand.
And it was broken. It was useless now that it was all over. Now -
Now it is truly just me and Saya. Except -
And he was painfully aware -
Like this broken sword, what use does Saya have for a Chevalier in a world with no Diva?
And another part of himself felt lonely.
Once again, he wished Saya could be there to tell him what to do.
I told her to live - but I don't even know what to do now - the Chiropterans - Red Shield - Diva - her chevaliers - none of them are after us - after me... I know what Kai would say - live for yourself... but... myself...
With a shake of his head, Haji stepped forward, conscious of the warm sunlight now falling on his dark hair - as he passed under the large stone gates of the park across the busy road.
It's all I know, he thought as he settled down under a particularly large tree, snapping the cello case open. It's all I can do.
The melody flowed away on the gentle breeze - the wind carrying it to every corner of the city. Every now and then, although he never looked up - Haji could hear the clink of change thrown into his open cello case.
Perhaps, he thought to himself, I could learn something new. As a gift for Saya...
If I play around the city... perhaps I'll get enough money to get some new sheet music...
Some Chopin... or Mozart...
She'd like that...
He looked up - squinting at the sun - and then around at the children playing on the green grass - the dogs barking - adults laughing. And for those few hours of that lazy afternoon - he felt a part of it -
A part of life.