It should be blurry

Notes: This is just a little short story inspired by Eve 6's song "Here's to the Night." I don't actually put the lyrics in it, although there are a few references to them at the end. It is yaoi and has a lemony scent. If that's not your cup of tea, don't read. I don't own Digimon, nor do I have anything to do with it. This is all just a figment of my imagination. With that all said, enjoy.

* * * * *

It should be blurry. I should have no remembrance of last night. There should be an alcoholic haze in my mind that clouds it all, making the previous night seem like nothing more than a dream to be easily forgotten. That's how it should be.

And yet that's not how it is. I remember everything. Every word, every movement, every touch, I can remember it all so clearly. It's almost as if I was entirely sober when it all happened. But the pounding in my head and the nauseous feeling in my stomach confirm that I wasn't.

I suppose that I should also feel disgusted. Although I'm not sure as to who I should be disgusted with. After all I cheated on my girlfriend and with a guy nonetheless. But then again you let me.

I'm not disgusted though. In fact I'm the exact opposite. I finally got my night with you, the night I thought I'd never get.

I used to dream about it, you know, when we first met. I think I fell in love with you the moment that I saw you. I'd never been interested in boys, but you were different. I don't believe that I ever saw you as anything but an angel.

I was going to tell you how I felt. I had it all planned out. I was going to take you to the digital world and tell you there. I spent all of my time fantasizing about it. I would've taken you in my arms, held you, kissed the top of your head. It was going to be the most romantic night of our lives.

But then he moved in on you. No one expected it. Everyone thought he hated you, even me. But he stole your heart, and at the same time he broke mine. But I accepted it because you were happy.

That was years ago. I thought I was over you, that I'd moved on.

But last night…you looked beautiful last night. Do you remember me telling you that? I did, a few times if I'm not mistaken. You might've been too intoxicated when I did to remember it though.

It was Jyou's bachelor party, and we took him to a bar. But loverboy is out of town for a week, so you came with me. There was alcohol. God there was alcohol, as there is in most bars. And neither one of us have a very good tolerance for it. We were drunk within minutes.

I started it. It probably wasn't a smart idea to rest my hand on your thigh. But I did, and you didn't push it away. Instead you gave me a look, a sultry, seductive look. And I'd moved my hand up, letting my fingers brush across you. Then you leaned close and whispered, "Let's get out of here."

You entwined our fingers in the cab that was taking us to your place. I looked over at you, and our eyes met. Your gaze burned with such obvious desire. Do you ever look at him like that?

Then we leaned closer. It's impossible to know who moved first. It seemed like we both did at the exact same time, even though I'm sure that's hardly possible.

Our lips brushed across each other. It was so brief that I thought that perhaps I'd imagined it. But then you grabbed my neck and crushed our lips together again.

The world must have stopped. How could it not have? I swore it couldn't get any better. Then I opened my mouth. Tongues met and danced a dance of immense passion that could have ceased time. Did it feel as perfect to you as it did to me?

We barely made it up to your apartment. I had to be touching you at all times. I thought you'd disappear if I didn't. And you mistook my affection for anxiousness and kissed me repeatedly, telling me to be patient.

You collapsed on the bed, pulling me down on top of you. Our lips engaged in another fervid kiss. Clothes were shed quickly, almost being ripped off. Hands roamed and tongues tasted. It was the most beautiful night of my life.

I never pictured you as a screamer. And yet you were. You let out the most divine sound when I slid inside of you. And with each thrust your moans got louder and louder, until you were just screaming unintelligibly.

"Ken…p-please…" you'd begged repeatedly. It was my name you said, not his. And that small fact gives me unlimited pleasure even now.

You looked gorgeous when you came. Has anyone ever told you that before? If not, they should. Because it's true. Your eyes glazed over and your lips parted. A sound came from your mouth, something between a moan and a sob. It was glorious. I don't believe I have ever felt so alive than I did at that moment.

Tell me, love, did you see stars? I know I did.

Of course, you probably won't remember it at all. I suppose it's for the best. That way the previous night won't plague you as it undoubtedly will me.

I held you last night while you slept, another fantasy come true for me. I woke up feeling horrible, but the first thing I saw was you. What a pleasant sight to wake up to. The pain was immediately pushed to the back of my mind.

You're still asleep now, a peaceful expression on your face. I wonder what you're dreaming about. Is it about me? Do you ever dream about me? Or is it always him?

I probably should go. But I don't want to. I want to stay with you for an hour or two or more. I want to be with you when you wake up, to see what you look like. I've always wondered what you look like when you first wake up. Is your hair tousled? Are your eyes clouded with sleep? Can you form actual sentences? I suppose I'll never know.

You see, I could stay for a little bit. It's not like anyone's due to be home any time soon. But I fear that if I stay too long, I'll never want to leave. And I know that I have to.

I think it's very clear now that I've fallen in love with you, and I'll always be in love with you. But you're in love with him. I know that if I stay, you'll tell me that you'll always love him. And I don't think I could bear to hear that.

So I'll go now. I'll go back to Miyako and you'll go back to Daisuke. And we'll both pretend like it never happened, like the greatest night of my life never happened.

This is like that song, you know, the one they played in the cab last night. You probably don't remember it, but I do. I was listening to it intently before you kissed me. It was about a one-night stand and a guy who didn't want to leave in the morning. Of course when I was listening to it, I didn't realize then that I would soon be that guy.

So here's to the night, Takeru. Here's to the night that no one can take away. Here's to our night.

And here's to goodbye. Because tomorrow really did come too soon.