Not Another Death-Fic!
Possible and other Disney characters
are © Disney Co.
Things looked bad for Team Possible. Doctor Drakken had kidnapped Wade, and without his intel Kim and Ron had been captured within moments of entering his lair. Now all members of Team Possible were strapped to the wall by manacles on their arms and legs. Even Rufus was captured. Two manacles secured him to the wall: one around his neck and the other around his stomach. Drakken and Shego gloated over our heroes' predicament, while burly red-suited henchmen stood by attentively clutching various melee weapons.
"Excellent Shego," Drakken crowed. "You managed to capture all four of them in record time!"
"Yeah," agreed Shego. "I think that's the last of them. They're all lined up and ready for the firing squad." The glamorous villainess gloated. "Go ahead and blast 'em with that death-ray you've been working on."
"Oh, the laser?" Drakken steepled his fingers nervously and glanced back at an unfinished vaguely cannon shaped apparatus mounted on a tripod. Surrounding the tripod were worktables with various electronic components and tools. "Er, its not, exactly um, finished yet," he turned his head and looked away.
"Oh for crying out loud!" exclaimed Shego. "I capture all four of 'em and you haven't even built the laser yet?"
"'I capture all four of 'em and you haven't even built the laser yet?'" mocked Drakken with high whiny voice. "Keep your shirt on, I'll finish it. You just watch the prisoners. I don't want them escaping before their execution. Do you think you can handle that?"
"Ooh!" exclaimed Shego with exaggerated alarm. "I don't know if I handle something soooo complicated…"
Ron seized the opportunity to whisper to Kim and Wade. "Okay, guys, what's the plan? I'd really like to get loose before he finishes that death-ray."
"My mind is filled with about a hundred different things I could do," muttered Wade miserably, "if I was back home at my computer with all my stuff."
"Kim?" Ron looked at her hopefully.
Kim was silent for a while, and then looked crestfallen at the ground. "I'm sorry guys, my mind's a blank. All the henchmen are watching us…I…I got nothin'."
"Hey," said Ron. "That's my line." Suddenly his eyes widened in horror. "Wait a second, if we're all captured and there's no one to rescue us, then…this…must…be…a DEATH-FIC!"
"So not the drama, Ron," consoled Kim. "We've been in worse spots than this. We'll find a way out…I hope."
"Don't play me, Kim!" cried Ron, not even bothering to whisper anymore. "This is curtains, and you know it." Tears started rolling down Ron's cheek. "I hate death-fics, one of us dies, and the other is always left alone…unless both of us die, and that's not much better. And now poor Wade and Rufus are going to die too…It's just not fair!"
"Not fair!" sniffed Rufus. "Doan wanna die!"
"Ron!" hissed Kim, trying to keep his voice down. "Focus! We're not gonna die if we keep our heads in the game!"
"Then you better think of something quick Kim," said Ron. "'Cause Drakken's assembling his laser and Shego is looking our way." Ron started to snivel again and muttered to himself. "Aww man…I just know it's a death fic…"
"Ron!" whispered Kim again. "We are not in a death-fic! We just…need to think of something. Make it some other kind of story…"
"Kigos are the most common Kim Possible Fan-fics written," offered Wade. "Everybody loves to slash Kim plus Shego."
"Ewww," shuddered Kim. "Gross. Do I have to do it?"
"C'mon Kay-pee, please!" begged Ron. "We're talkin' about our lives here!"
"Please-please," echoed Rufus, a mournful look on his bucktoothed face.
"All…right," huffed Kim. "Wade are you sure it will work?"
"Definitely," affirmed the ten-year-old super genius. "In 90 of all Kigo stories, Shego gives up crime and becomes a good guy. At the very least there will be someone in this room that doesn't want you to die…"
"Okay," growled Kim, "but you guys owe me." The look of disgust vanished from Kim's face and she beamed at Drakken's emerald cohort with an exaggerated visage of cherubic innocence. She smiled sweetly and batted her eyes. Ron shuddered as he remembered the moodulator incident.
"Hey," growled Shego as she caught Kim's gaze, "are you lookin' at me?" The raven-haired beauty left Drakken's side to stomp over to the prisoners.
Kim winked at blew her a kiss.
"Knock it off, Princess!" threatened Shego as her hands clenched in to fists and ignited in green flames. "Or you'll be tortured before your execution!"
"Oh, uhh," Kim stammered before she bravely tried to continue flirting. "Your hair is so beautiful Shego, how do you maintain it?" Kim smiled weakly.
"Why should you care, Kimmy?" said Shego as she crossed her arms and turned her back on Kim. "In a few minutes you are going to be sliced in half with surgical precision." She looked over her shoulder at Kim and smiled evilly.
"Guys," Kim grimaced. "I don't think Shego likes me."
"Well if she doesn't like you…" Ron's eyes became wide with revelation, and then he broke into a big smile. "…then she must like me!" Ron attempted to be suave and his voice went down an octave. "Shego," he purred. "I've been noticing you, and I think that you've been noticing me…"
"Wrongo," Shego interrupted, extending an open hand.
"That's what's its called," beamed Ron. "Rongo. It's Ron plus Shego! Aw right! Ron plus Shego forever!"
"Yippee!" cheered Rufus.
"No," corrected Shego. "Wrongo. As in you're wrong. I don't like you."
"But…but…If you don't like Kim…?" Ron stammered helplessly.
"I don't like either one of you," said Shego coldly.
"But…you like me, right?" Ron's voice rose an octave as he put on a hopeful smile.
"Why would I like a greasy pimple-faced teenage loser like you?" grinned Shego cruelly. "Sorry Stoppable, but I'm a big girl." Shego chuckled as she turned and strode back to Drakken who was hard at work assembling the laser that would spell their doom.
"Oh, okay…" said Ron lifelessly as he gazed at the floor in shame and disappointment. "I understand…"
"Awwww," said Rufus. "There, there."
"Nice try, Ron," said Wade.
"You did your best," consoled Kim, "and you seized the opportunity. Way to go Ron-man!"
"Fat lotta good it did us," grumbled Ron, still stinging from Shego's rejection. "Now what do we do?"
"Well," offered Wade. "If Kigo didn't work, you could try Rokken."
"Rockin'?" asked Ron. "What's that? Some kind of song-fic?"
"No," Kim shook her head. "If Kigo is Kim slash Shego, then Rokken is Ron slash…"
"Drakken!" gasped Ron in horror. He stared at Drakken bent over his death-ray. Cold bloodshot eyes stared out of dark circles on the mad scientist's hideously blue face. His spiky black hair was tied in a ponytail. Drakken's dainty, almost effeminate hands contrasted with his broad shoulders. "Y-yo listen up, hap' a holla' from R-ron…" whimpered Ron.
"Ron…" growled Kim.
"N-naked Mole-rap is the name of the song…" chanted Ron with false hope.
"Ron!" Chorused Kim, Wade, and Rufus.
"Ron, we're talkin' about our lives here…" scolded Kim.
"Okay!" said Ron, mustering his courage. "Don't let anyone say that Ron Stoppable is afraid to take one for the team! Wish me luck buddy! I'm goin' in!"
Rufus squirmed in his manacles and attempted to smile and give Ron the thumbs up.
"H-hey Doctor Dee?" called Ron Stoppable. "How's it hangin'?" Ron winced at his inappropriate choice of words.
"Huh?" Drakken looked up from his work. "Oh, its you, the buffoon. What do you want?"
"H-hey," stammered Ron. "I just want you to know, I know where y-you're comin' from, okay?" Drakken just gave him a blank look. "I've been picked on in school too, and I f-feel that you are the only one that understands me."
"So what?" shrugged Drakken. "I'm a genius. I understand everything." He paused when he heard a derisive snort from Shego, but he ignored it. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I…I" Ron squirmed nervously as Kim, Rufus, and Wade stared expectantly at him. "I love you, man!" shrieked Ron. "I've had fantasies about you for a long time!"
"Errrg, Pasadena!" shuddered Drakken, who then looked at Ron fearfully. "I wondered how James could let his daughter fly all over the world with a boy. Now I know."
"Eww!" cried Ron. "No! Eww! It's not like that! You're special! Honest!"
"Quick Shego!" Drakken's hands were shaking. "Hand me that radiation beam emitter. The sooner this death-ray is complete, the better!"
"Sorry, Stoppable," taunted Shego. "Drakken had a bad experience in prison. You understand."
"Nggrah!" Drakken choked with rage. "Tell the world why don't you?"
"Relax, Doctor Dee," chirped Shego. "They'll take it with them to their graves."
Drakken snarled as he gazed at his henchmen who were still impassively watching the prisoners. He then turned his back on Ron and continued assembling his laser.
"Well that didn't work," hissed Kim to the others. "Any ideas?"
"You could try Drakkim," suggested Wade. "There aren't very many Kim plus Drakken pairings."
"Eww, yuck," shuddered Kim. "You're on the internet more than we are, Wade. Does Drakken turn good in those stories?"
Wade looked away. "Uhh, not really. But the stories don't focus on his villainy…"
"Wade," Kim's voice regained her authority. "What aren't you telling me?"
"In nearly every Kim and Drakken pairing, you make love and…" Wade paused painfully, "…get pregnant!"
"Noooo!" gasped Kim in horror.
"The child of Drakken!" shuddered Ron. "The seed of evil! That is sick and wrong!"
Wade tried to focus on the positive. "On the plus side, he doesn't try to kill anyone once he has you…"
"Especially not the mother of his child!" cried Ron. "Eww! Eww!"
"Ya-Ya, gross!" chirped Rufus.
"I-it…seems the only way out of this," moaned Kim. She smiled at Ron. "Don't let anyone say that Kim Possible was afraid to take one for the team." Ron smiled back supportively. "Hey Drakken?" called Kim. "Aren't you even going to tell us your plan or gloat a little?"
"What is it now?" growled the blue villain. "Can't you see I'm busy? Tell the buffoon that I'm flattered, but not interested!"
"Ron will behave himself," teased Kim. "I promise. This is between you and me."
"She's just stalling for time," warned Shego.
"C'mon, Drakken!" called Kim. "I'm helpless! Are you too cowardly to face your arch-foe?"
Drakken set his jaw, turned around and walked over to the prisoners. "Okay, Possible, you've got my attention. What is it you want? Are you going to beg for mercy?"
"Err uhh," stammered Kim trying to swallow her pride. Wade, Ron, and Rufus stared at her with pitiful looks on their faces. Ron slowly nodded his head. Kim squirmed in her restraints before finally looking Drakken in the face. "I want to make a deal. If you let my friends go. I promise that I'll marry you." Rufus squeaked in horror.
"WHAT?" cried Drakken, completely flabbergasted.
"You've got to be kidding me…" muttered Shego.
"I surrender," continued Kim, who was looking everywhere but at Drakken. "Let's face it, you are smart enough to take over the world. I tried to fight my attraction for you…I thought it was just a crush. But you've won. I realize that it was meant to be." She fixed Drakken with her trademark puppy-dog pout. "Will you marry me? Pwease?"
"Not a chance!" Drakken made a sweeping gesture of dismissal with his arm. "If I want an acrobatic kung fu spitfire around the lair I'll stick with Shego, thank you very much. With you as my wife, I'll have to sleep with one eye open!"
"But…but…" Kim couldn't believe the pout had failed. Had she moved too fast with the marriage proposal?
"I hate you and your entire family!" exclaimed Drakken. "You give me enough nightmares as it is. Imagine how horrible it would be being married to you! No thanks! I don't need you! As soon as I get the laser finished, the better!" Drakken shuddered and turned and strode back to his death-ray.
"But…but…" whimpered Kim. "I'm young and cute…I'm a cheerleader…"
"You did your best Kim," said Wade.
"Yeah," agreed Ron. "A guy that evil can't love anybody."
"What now?" croaked Rufus.
"I don't know," said Wade. "We've tried nearly all the major pairings. We could try a song fic…"
"Aww man," protested Ron. "Those stories always suck eggs! Somebody who can't get a song out of his head just copies the lyrics out of an album cover and calls it a story. It would be different if you could actually see and hear the song, but reading it is snoreville."
"We may as well try it," announced Kim. "We've tried everything else. Okay, 'Could It Be' from the top, one, two, three…" Kim's voice broke out in song. "I know we've been friends forever…"
Ron, Wade and Rufus sang off-key but managed to harmonize regardless. "But now I think I'm feeling something totally new…" Shego's eyes widened in horror as the boys droned on. "And after all this time I opened up my eyes…"
Kim's voice sang out and could be heard clearly in the entire cavernous chamber. "Now I see… you were always with me…"
"SHUT UP!" Shego screamed as she dashed forward with her fists ignited in emerald energy. "I hate that song! I hate it! She slapped Wade on the face, kicked Ron in the stomach and punched Kim in the jaw. "Shut it ! Shut up! If you sing another note I'll rip your lungs out!" Rufus cringed in fear and wriggled in his bonds.
"Aww Shego," whined Drakken. "I was enjoying that. It was like being at Karaoke night. It helps me work on the laser…"
"Haven't you finished that dumb thing yet?" Shego turned to Drakken, her eyes and fists still blazing with rage.
"Err, um, almost," shivered Drakken. "Just running a few tests now. Don't want it to blow up in our faces!" He tried a disarming smile, and it seemed to calm his cohort down.
Wade was the first to recover. "That didn't work, guys…"
"That laser sure is starting to look a lot like a gun…" squeaked Ron.
"We're not going to give up!" declared Kim. "There must be some pairing we haven't tried!"
"Ooh! Ooh!" exclaimed Ron. "What about me and Bonnie! People write dozens of those!" Kim, Wade, and Rufus gave him dirty looks.
"Uh, Ron, Bonnie's not here," said Kim.
Ron refused to surrender to reason. "Oh, uh, what about Monique? No one ever writes a Ron and Monique pairing…" Rufus groaned.
"Um, Ron?" interrupted Kim with strained patience. "Monique's not here either."
"Okay, let's see," Ron wracked his brain for an untried alternate pairing. "Uhh, me and Tara…Monique and Felix…?"
Wade sighed with frustration. "Ron, we've got to work with what we have. If we want to turn this into a shippy story, we need to use someone who is actually in the room…"
"I've got it!" cried Ron. "It's so obvious! Me and Kim!"
"That's a great idea, Ron!" cheered Kim. "You're a genius!"
"Kim, I've loved you ever since we first met in Pre-Kay," Ron spoke to Kim with a maturity that was completely out of character for him.
"Oh, Ron," gushed Kim. "I was a fool not to see you right here before me…"
"Um, guys?" Wade tried to get their attention.
"I love you Kim," murmured Ron gently. "I wish we weren't restrained so I could put my arms around you."
"Awww" cooed Rufus, fluttering his eyelashes.
"Hey guys?" Wade called out.
"We're together Ron, whispered Kim gently. "That's all that matters."
"Guys!" Wade bawled. "Hey, can I have your attention?" Kim, Ron, and Rufus turned irritably at the interruption. "You are aware that over fifty percent of all death-fics have romantic overtones, don't you?" Kim, Ron, and Rufus gave him blank looks. "You know, the whole 'love never dies even if we do' thing?" continued the young super genius. "I really don't think that confessing your devotion to each other right before our certain doom is going to help us."
"Well thanks a lot Mister Wet Blanket, what do you suggest?" snapped Ron.
"Yeah!" accused the naked mole-rat.
"I don't know," sighed Wade. "We've tried nearly every combination open to us. I'm only ten and hardly an object of romance."
"Come on," Kim gritted her teeth. "There has to be some slash pairing we haven't tried. Ron plus Shego, Ron plus Drakken, Kim plus Drakken, Kim plus Shego…"
"What about Drakken and Shego?" suggested Ron.
"Ron, while incredibly plausible, I don't see how that helps us," said Kim. "Executing us could be considered a wedding present."
"It's a long shot but it might work," considered Wade. "In most Drakken and Shego stories, they usually aren't doing anything more evil than shoplifting. When they find true love in each other, psychotic evil usually loses its allure."
"In any case, it can't hurt to try Kay-pee," Ron glanced over to where the evil scientist was putting the finishing touches on his death-ray. "His laser cannon looks pretty much finished to me, and we're out of time. Hey Shego!" he called out.
"What do you want, sidekick?" she called back.
"Do we get a last request?" asked Kim.
"Within reason," replied the emerald beauty, who raised a suspicious eyebrow.
"Tell him how you feel," said Ron.
"Wha? Tell who? Your nerdlinger?" Shego glanced at Wade. "Now you think I like him?"
"Nooo," Ron shook his head. "Drakken. You know you want to."
"What are you talking about?" demanded Shego, her hands on her hips.
"Come on," teased Ron. "We both know that you're too smart to work for loony like Drakken. You're smart enough to leave him and be a successful villain on your own. The only reason you stay with someone so incompetent is that you like him."
Shego gave him an amused smile. "So now you think I love Drakken, huh? Is there anyone I don't love?"
"Love?" gasped Kim. "So its true! You really are in l-love with Drakken!" Kim's stomach turned at the thought. "I thought Ron was just making it up!"
"Come on Shego," insisted Ron. "I'm not asking you to release me so Kim and I can have one last kiss or asking to speak with my parents or anything. I just want you to tell Drakken that you love him. I mean, c'mon! There's no way that would give away our location or help us escape!"
Shego's amused smile unnerved Kim by its smugness. "Sure, why not?" shrugged the beautiful baddie. "Hey Doctor Dee," she called out. "I love ya!"
"I love you too," Drakken announced dryly, "So what?" He didn't even look up from his work.
"Huh?" squeaked Rufus. Team Possible just hung limply in their restraints with their mouths hanging open.
"Th-that's…it?" stammered Ron. "No 'I never knew you felt this way'? No 'now that I found true happiness I don't need to wreak havoc on the world'?"
"Sorry guys," smiled Shego as she crossed her arms.
"But, but, how?" babbled Kim. "How long have you loved each other?"
"We got married about two years before we met you," smirked Shego. "Sorry, Princess but my love affair with Doctor Drakken is old news."
Wade shook his head in disbelief. "What a minute! If you're married, why don't you call him 'Drew'?"
"Drakken hates being called 'Drew Lipski'," shrugged Shego. "To tell you the truth, I find that name pretty wimpy myself. Doctor Drakken is the man I fell in love with." Kim tried to fight a gagging reflex. "Drakken likes to be called 'boss', 'chief', 'Doctor Dee', or simply 'Drakken'," finished the bride of Drakken.
"But…how could you two be married?" asked Kim. "How could you two be in love? Your both so evil…"
"That's what makes it so erotic," Shego put her smirking face just inches from Kim's nose. "Drives you crazy, huh, Pumpkin?"
"Eww…yuck!" gagged Rufus.
"Are they talking about us?" Drakken stomped over to the prisoners indignantly.
"Yeah," chuckled Shego. "They can't believe that we're married."
"I don't get it," said Wade. "Statistics show that most murders are done by the spouse. You're both evil and constantly get on each other's nerves. How do keep from killing each other?"
"Look," announced Doctor Drakken. "Just because the honeymoon is over doesn't mean that Shego and I don't love each other. We knew that this marriage was going to be a challenge when we went into it. That's why we prepared marriage contracts." Drakken pulled a sheaf of papers stapled together out of his lab coat while Shego pulled a similar document out of the pouch strapped to her leg.
"You both carry your marriage contracts on you?" asked Kim in disbelief.
"Kinda shows you what shape our marriage is in, don't it?" replied Shego dryly.
Drakken squinted at his copy of the contract. "Shego agrees not to use profanity, to call be by my birth name or insult me using common epithets such as 'idiot', 'moron', 'dummy', or 'jerkwad'…"
Shego read from her own copy. "Drakken agrees never to clone me, to allow our money to be kept in two separate bank accounts and to either go on a vacation once a year or allow me to go without him…"
Drakken continued to read the highlights of the contract. "We spend every other weekend apart from each other so we don't drive each other crazy," he glanced at Wade, "or kill each other, and we both split the profits of our criminal careers." He straightened his document and returned it to his coat pocket. "Well, there's more, but I'm sure you all get the point. It's not easy keeping a marriage together when we're both selfish and evil, but we do our best, blast it! Now if you will excuse me, its time to test fire my laser." He broke into an evil grin. Kim, Ron, Wade, and Rufus exchanged gloomy and worried looks as the devilish duo sauntered back to the now completed weapon. Drakken broke out in evil laughter while Shego leaned on him in seductive yet sinister pose. "Bwa-ha-ha! Any last words, Kim Possible?"
"Hold it right there, Doctor Drakken!" called out a heroic and manly voice.
"What?" Drakken was startled and he and his wicked wife looked up to see a lad Kim Possible's age standing upon a computer bank wearing a black turtleneck sweater and grey cargo pants. With him was a white cat with black paws. "Shego, who the blazes is he?"
It was Arthur Storey, the unsung member of Team Possible. With his heroic cat, Mittens, who was even more intelligent than Rufus…
"Hey!" protested the naked mole-rat.
…he had come to save the day and try to convince Shego, his secret lover, to change her ways and fight for good.
"This guy's my secret lover?" said Shego, crossing her arms in irritation. "Is there anybody I'm not in love with?"
"Oh no!" Drakken's bloodshot eyes bulged with realization. "This guy must be a self-insert!" he turned to his sensual spouse and gestured wildly. "It's sort of a wish fulfillment where the writer creates a character to represent himself so he can interact with the characters of his dreams!"
"Aggh!" shrieked Team Possible in horror. Kim, Ron, Wade, and Rufus started protesting and screaming things like "Kill us! Kill us! Shoot the laser for pity's sake! Don't let him save us!"
"What's the matter with them?" Shego pointed her thumb at the captives behind her.
"Every story with an author avatar in it always stinks!" muttered Drakken as he crossed his arms. "Don't you ever read fan-fiction?"
"Heh-heh," Shego chuckled sarcastically. "Not me, Doctor Drakken. I have a life."
"Try the internet sometime, Shego," dared the blue villain. "It will rock your world." Shego rolled her eyes in exasperation.
"Give it up, Drakken, or you'll wish you'd never been born!" warned Arthur Storey, the true secret to Kim Possible's success and the man who Shego had lost her heart to.
"Well, Shego?" shrugged Drakken. "How do you want to handle 'the man you lost your heart to'?"
"Like this!" with one fluid motion, terrific temptress did a backflip that put her at the laser's controls, pivoted the death-ray, and fired, reducing Arthur and his cat Mittens to ashes. "Grah!" the homicidal henchwoman growled as she pulled the trigger.
"Yaaaay!" cheered Kim, Ron, Rufus and Wade. Shouts of "Way to go!" and "Boo-yah!" could be heard from the prisoners. Drakken's henchmen shrugged their shoulders and looked at each other in confusion. Shego took a few bows before Drakken embraced her and kissed her on the cheek.
"Excellent, Shego!" exclaimed the mad scientist as he adjusted the controls of the laser. "Now that the weapon has been successfully tested we can use it for what it was meant for, the utter destruction of Kim Possible!" He turned the laser to face the condemned prisoners. "Enjoy your death-fic! Ha ha ha ha!" In unison, our heroes quit cheering and stared at Drakken with surprise and fear.
"Wait!" cried Ron. "Wh-what if this isn't a death-fic? Wh-what if this is a story where Doctor Drakken takes over the world?"
"Don't be ridiculous!" Drakken gestured in dismissal.
"Yeah," agreed Shego. "No one ever writes those!"
"This could be the first!" offered Ron. "This story could stand out as the first one where Drakken and Shego take over the world!"
"I'd rather die," growled Kim, her face a mask of rage.
"Shego, be so good as put a gag on Miss Possible," said Drakken. "I'm interested in what the buffoon has to say. Go on, Buffoon. I'm listening…"
Eight months later Emperor Drakken the First was humming to himself while working on his latest invention. The Eiffel Tower in Paris had been torn down to make room for Castle Drakken, a state of the art fortress with advanced telecommunications gear that would make running the entire world easier. In the meantime Drakken was living Buckingham Palace until his super-citadel was finished. The Emperor of Earth's blue lab coat was now a royal purple, and had ermine trim, but he still dressed very much like he did before "Operation Unbelievable Havoc" forced the leaders of the world to surrender and submit to his benevolent rulership. A large crown formerly used for the coronation ceremonies of the now deposed British monarchy was on the table just to the right of his workspace. Even though it was months after Drakken had been crowned the supreme ruler of Earth, the dastardly despot still liked to wear it, claiming that it helped his posture.
Shego, the queen of Iceland and the Prime Minister of Terra entered his Buckingham lab carrying a laptop and a stack of government documents. Papers trailed behind her as she stepped past red suited palace guards to scold the most powerful man in the world. "Drakken!" she griped as she set her heavy load down on a priceless Louis XIV table that the blue skinned conqueror was using for a workstation. "I can't believe it! You finally rule the world, and I'm still doing all the work!" Now that she was free of her burden, one could admire the beautiful green evening gown she wore that matched her black gloves and cape. Jeweled earrings and a silver tiara decorated with diamonds and emeralds peaked out of her raven-black hair. She sat down on baroque-styled chair and removed her five thousand dollar glass slippers to massage her dainty feet.
"Don't worry your pretty little head Shego," gloated Drakken. "When my time machine is finished I'll have all the time I need to run the world."
"Why do you need a time machine, anyway?" snapped the crooked queen. "You already rule the Earth!"
"Because, Shego," Drakken schemed. "It's inevitable that one day we will be overthrown because of our unpopularity. With this invention I can go into the future and learn how to solve everyone's problems."
"Since when do you care?" muttered Shego while she rubbed her feet.
"We'll be able to predict and prepare for every eventuality!" exclaimed Drakken. "Famines, earthquakes, revolts, epidemics, pollution… all will be prepared for and defeated by the genius of Doctor Drakken! It may take a few times to get it right, but soon the world will see me as a savior and not a tyrant! Everyone will hail the Pax Drakkanada!"
"Wait a minute," said Shego, wiggling her toes. "If we have to endure the same years again and again, won't it look like we're aging faster than everyone else? You'll have a short reign."
"Ahh Shego," the ruler of Earth replied sinisterly. "I haven't told you about my early experiments with temporal physics. I created an invention that can actually make us younger! We can age normally for twenty or thirty years, and then restore ourselves to the same biological age we are now!"
Shego's eyes widened in shock. "Drakken! You mean…"
"Correct Shego!" Drakken rose from his workstation and assumed a heroic pose. "If there aren't any side effects from multiple uses we could be… immortal! Our reign need never end! Ha ha ha ha!"
When it was time for the royal couple to dine, they made their way to the banquet hall. Shego rang a silver bell. After a moment or two Kim Possible appeared in an archway, a sour expression on her face. She didn't appear to be happy wearing a green harem girl outfit, nor the yellow rubber gloves that clashed with her clothing so jarringly. She especially seemed to resent lugging around the basketball sized iron sphere that was chained to her leg. "You rang, your highness?" Kim said flatly.
"Yes, pumpkin," cooed the Prime Minister of all creation. "Have you finished cleaning all the toilets in the palace?"
"No, your highness," muttered Kim lifelessly. "Not yet."
"Hmm," considered Shego. "Maybe we need to get you bigger toothbrushes. Oh well, clean yourself up and help out in the kitchen. Dishes don't wash themselves you know!"
"Yes, your highness," seethed Kim as she slowly walked away.
Drakken and Shego sat down as Wade, dressed in a blue and green jester's costume, brought out the appetizers.
"It all looks so delicious!" gushed the king of the world. "I can hardly wait to taste it!"
"Ah ah ah!" admonished Shego. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
"Oh, right!" blushed Drakken as he reached under the table and brought up a hamster cage. Inside was an angry looking Rufus with a leather collar around his neck. "Can't forget the royal food taster!" Drakken took a tiny chain and attached one end to the cage before he used a small metal key to open the padlock on the door. "Now remember, save some for me or I'll swat you with the newspaper," growled the evil emperor as he attached the other end of the little chain to Rufus' collar. Rufus growled in frustration.
In the kitchens Kim Possible washed a huge pile of expensive china. "This is so your fault, Ron," she grumbled. "We should have died when we had the chance."
Ron was wearing a chef's uniform with matching hat, but it was hard for him to move around quickly because his legs were chained together. "Relax Kay-pee, once Drakken finishes his time machine all we have to do is escape, steal it, and go back in time and make sure none of this ever happens. In the meantime, we've go to stick with the plan and play nice so we can stay in the palace."
"You're right Ron," sighed Kim. "I can't forget the plan. All we have to do is play along and everything will be back to normal. I can feel it!" she said, cheering up. "Everything's going to be okay!"
"Bad news, guys," announced Wade as he entered the kitchens. "They're talking out restarting our daily floggings."
Kim's expression soured immediately. "So your fault, Ron."