Title: Desperately Wanting

Summary: Haley James had always been invisible to Nathan Scott. She thought her dreams had come true when he finally noticed her years later, but instead he broke her heart. When they meet again and he realizes his mistake, will she give him a second chance?

Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or any of its characters


Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who has read this story and especially those who have taken the time to give me their comments and suggestions. I really appreciate it when I hear from you.

Thanks again to Bec for being a wonderful beta and to both her and Dawnie for their help and support.

I've already started my new fanfic as some of you already know I'd really love it if you could check it out. I'm very excited about the idea for this new story.

Title: Holding On To Hope

Summary: Nathan and Haley, along with her young son have become a family. But they're soon faced with a heart-wrenching decision that could put one of their lives at risk. Will they survive through this desperate time or will they be torn apart?

Haley closed her eyes rocking back and forth slowly as her two month old son suckled at her breast. With his golden brown hair and deep brown eyes, both parents knew he was going to look like his mother. Tyler was such an easy baby; nothing like his older brother Zachary who had been a handful from the get-go. The five year old was definitely his father's son… almost identical in every way from his raven coloured hair to his cerulean blue eyes; not to mention his temperament which was as outgoing and cocky as Nathan's had been when he was younger, but also still held the warmth and sweetness that her husband showed his family every day.

"Mommy! Zach keeps changing the station!" Lily's screeching caused her mother to wince. It had been one of those days where her children were restless and picking fights with one another to keep themselves amused.

Tyler stopped feeding and looked up at his mother who couldn't help chuckling at his disgruntled expression. "I know little man. Your brother and sister are driving me nuts too." She leaned down and placed a tender kiss on the soft skin of forehead, before fixing her maternity bra and managing to do up the buttons on her shirt one handed, an art she'd mastered when Zach was a baby.

A sound not dissimilar to a herd of stampeding elephants could be heard before Lily and Zach ran into the nursery both jostling each other obviously in competition to get to their mother first. Before either of them could say a word Haley put a finger to her lips indicating for them to be quiet. The last thing she needed was for them to upset Tyler who was due to go sleep now that he'd been bathed and fed.

"Now Zach, you know not to change the channel when your sister is trying to watch something." Haley's voice was soft but firm. Underneath his rambunctious exterior, Zach was a sensitive soul and responded best to being reasoned with rather than yelled at or ordered to do things.

"I know mommy… but I don't wanna miss it." The poor boy chewed on his bottom lip looking as though he was about to tear up at any moment.

"Oh, honey. Daddy's game isn't on for a little while yet. I promise I won't let you miss it." Haley put her arm around her son's waist and pulled him into a one armed hug as she still held Tyler with the other; the baby watching his siblings with interest, feeling content after his feeding.

"Is Ty gonna watch too?" Her son's excited expression soon faded as she shook her head.

"No honey. Your brother will be asleep soon so it will just be the three of us."

"I thought having a brother would be fun, but he's boring." Her son's sullen grumbling made her smile… he was adorable no matter what his disposition.

"You used to be boring too!" Lily scolded her brother, ever protective of both her siblings.

"Nuh-uh" Zach glared at his sister appalled by the thought.

"You used to be a baby just like Ty and I had no one to play with. But then you got older and funner." The two children were constantly arguing like most other siblings, but it was rarely ever serious and they were both loyal and fiercely protective of one another. Just this moment they'd gone from antagonising each other to Lily trying to reason with her brother and Zach looking to his sister for guidance.

"Really? But I'm not boring now!"

The little girl smiled and messed her brother's hair affectionately. "Nope. Your heaps of fun now."

Haley smirked at her son's smile of satisfaction. "Why don't you go get changed into your pj's and then it will nearly be time to watch Daddy."

Without even responding, the boy took off out of the nursery and headed for his bedroom, extremely excited about watching his Daddy on television.

"Do you need help with Ty, mommy?" Lily looked on with interest as her mother burped the baby on her shoulder.

"You're my little angel, Lil. I don't know what I'd do without you." The praise causing Lily to grin widely. The two had always shared an amazing bond that had stayed strong even when Lily found out a year earlier that Haley was not her biological mother. Although too young to know all the details, Lily understood that her mother left when she was a baby and that Haley had adopted her. The mature way in which Lily dealt with the revelation really shouldn't have surprised Nathan and Haley at all; the young girl was wise beyond her years and didn't let the news affect her relationship with her mother. All that mattered to her was that Haley was the only mother she'd ever known and had always been there for her no matter what.

"You'd be stuck with the boys!" Lily giggled.

"Oh no." Her dramatic tone and expression drew forth more giggles from her daughter. "We girls have to stick together."

After Tyler had been changed and placed in his crib Lily turned to her mother, a serious expression on her face. "Ty's not really a boy yet. He's just a baby, so he can stick with us too."

"Okay, sweetie." Haley pulled her daughter into a hug, wishing that Lily wasn't getting older and way too heavy to lift into her arms. "Let's go get see what your brother is up to and then watch Daddy's game."

An hour later the three Scott's were glued to the television as the final buzzer sounded. Nathan had played an amazing game, carrying his team to victory and was now currently being congratulated by his team mates for the evening.

"Go Daddy! He wiped the floor with those guys!."

Haley gave her daughter a questioning look, wondering where she had heard that particular expression.

"What? That's what Daddy told Uncle Lucas he was gonna do."

Zach, who had finally stopped jumping up and down on the couch plonked back down next to his mother. "Yeah. Daddy mopped the floor with them!"

Lily and Haley both laughed at his error, and not knowing that they were laughing at him, Zach joined in, giggling until his face was beet red.

"Okay guys. It's time for bed now." Haley stood up, lifting Zach into her arms, thankful that she could still carry one of her older children. Lily placed her hand in her mother's, going to bed without protest, while her brother grumbled all the way to his room that he wasn't tired, despite falling asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Nathan closed the front door behind him, sighing wearily as he realised the house was both dark and quiet. He didn't like this; missing out on spending the evening with his family and getting to tuck his children into bed. It was a rare occurrence that he wasn't there for dinner and bedtimes and even though he'd had a great time that night reliving his 'glory days', he knew he'd much rather be at home being a husband and father.

Being a professional basketball player was all Nathan had wanted to be when he was younger, but he found that ever since leaving the game to look after Lily when Peyton left, he hadn't really missed it the way he thought he would. And now that he had his family, he was happy with his new career of owning and running his own gym, which was extremely successful; so much so that there were now three franchises of his gym in the city.

He knew he had his priorities right when he flipped the switch for the foyer to find that Haley had hung a banner painted by her and the kids which read "GO DADDY!". He smiled to himself as he climbed the stairs and after checking in on all three of his children, Nathan entered the master bedroom to find his wife sitting in bed, tapping away on her laptop.

"Hi beautiful."

The way her eyes lit up as she looked up from her work gave Nathan butterflies in his stomach. Even after five years of marriage, she still had that affect on him.

"Congratulations Mr Hot Shot Basketball Star."

Nathan chuckled as he made his way over to Haley and sat down on the edge of the bed, moving her laptop to the bedside table and placing a soft, tender kiss on her lips.

"Thanks… and thank you for the banner. It's great." Haley knew he meant it too; he was always so proud of his children and she knew that it still amazed him how much he loved them… and they loved him in return.

"The kids had fun making it. Not quite as much fun as they had watching their Daddy on the television tonight, though. You are definitely going to be popular tomorrow morning."

"As long as I'm popular tonight too." His husky voice sent shivers down her spine.

"Hold on to that thought. I just need to save my work." Haley shoved Nathan playfully, making him stand up so she could swing out of bed to get to her computer.

"Aren't you supposed to be on maternity leave? Doesn't that mean that you don't have any work to do?" Nathan stood behind her nuzzling her neck, trying successfully to distract her.

Haley was the founder of an organisation that supported rape victims. The organisation raised funds for awareness as well as opening up several crisis centres where victims of sexual assaults could seek medical treatment and counselling. Her business partner was a woman named Susan Power; the same young woman who pressed charges against Paul Marsh years ago. Susan and Haley had become friends after Haley helped Susan gather the courage to testify against her rapist and ultimately put him behind bars.

For a long time, Haley had felt guilty that she'd let Susan take all of the responsibility by not coming forward with her own story about Paul, but Susan had assured her that it was for the best. Haley was a celebrity with a family to worry about; the press would have had a field day with that information and Susan didn't want her or her family to have to go through that ordeal.

"Susan just wanted me to read over something and make a few changes… besides, it's nice to be needed for something other than my breasts… I mean between you and Tyler, I feel used!"

"That's my little man. Just like his Daddy, he appreciates the good things in life." Nathan chuckled before pushing his wife back on the bed and pulling her t-shirt off in one quick motion before she had time to react. Not that Haley objected in any way especially when she felt his hot warm tongue brush across her already sensitive nipple. It always amazed her that she could feel nothing but motherly pride and warmth when her son drank from her breast… but then red hot desire when her husband feasted on the same flesh.

Just as Nathan was about to remove her panties, the sound of their son's distressed cries came though on the baby monitor. Nathan sighed as he rolled off his wife and got to his feet, telling Haley that he would tend to their son.

The baby usually slept through most of the night and if he woke it was due to needing a diaper change. Nathan always made a concerted effort to help Haley out as much as possible; obviously he couldn't feed Tyler if his cries were due to hunger, but he was always on hand to burp his son after his feeding. Usually he would sit with his wife while she was breastfeeding, still amazed by the natural act.

Lily had been bottle fed due to Peyton's post partum depression, and Nathan could still remember the feelings of warmth and overwhelming love he experienced the first time Haley fed Zach in the hospital. It was the ultimate vision of a mother nurturing her child.

"Hey buddy. How's my little guy doing?"

At the familiar sound of his father's voice, Tyler stopped crying and cooed for his Daddy's attention. Nathan lifted his son out of the crib and held him against his chest, kissing his forehead tenderly.

Wrinkling his nose in disgust, Nathan placed Ty on the change table. "Yep. Definitely a diaper change."

With a fresh, clean bottom, the baby happily went back to sleep as soon as he was placed back in his crib, however Nathan stood and watched him for several minutes, enthralled by the peaceful smile and soft breathing of his baby son.

Stripping off his clothes and sliding into bed next to his wife, Nathan pulled her into a warm embrace, breathing in her unique scent.

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me hales. You do most of the work when it comes to the kids, so I'm just happy to help out where I can."

Haley looked up into her husband's face, gently stroking his jaw. "That's not true. You're the most attentive father I've ever known. That's not what I meant though."

"What did you mean?"

"After my parents died I never really had a proper family… and I worried I'd never get one. It was my dream to fall in love and have a family of my own. You've given that to me, Nathan. You've made my dreams come true."

"Well I guess I should be thanking you too. Because you've done the same for me, Hales. I wouldn't want to change one thing about our life together… it's perfect."

She smiled widely at him. "It is."

Nathan dipped his head to capture her lips in a passionate kiss. She returned the kiss with abandon, sidling closer to him so that their naked bodies were touching and their legs became entangled underneath the covers. They hadn't made love since Tyler was born and Nathan was a little hesitant, worried that she might not be ready.

His hand trailed down between the valley of her voluptuous, milk filled breasts, over her stomach and down into the small thatch of curls between her thighs. He was pleasantly surprised to find her hot core already wet for him. Slowly circling the little bundle of nerves at her centre, he smirked as she threw her head back, gasping in pleasure at the contact. He loved her this way; so responsive to his touch and willing to surrender herself completely to him.

"Nathan. I need to feel you inside me. It's been too long."

Her desperate plea was almost enough to make him lose it then and there. He pulled back, resting on his knees as he gently parted her thighs; the cool air hitting her moist centre sent an erotic thrill through her veins and she felt her breathing grow shallow. Just as he reached her entrance, she stopped him.

"We need to use protection Nathan. There's only a slim chance I could get pregnant, but stranger things have happened."

"Would that be a bad thing?" The words escaped him before he even realised what he was saying. He realised then that he'd love to have more children, but he also understood that Haley would need to be ready. Lily had been three when they had Zach, and he was five when Tyler came along; having a newborn as well as a one year old would certainly be a handful.

Haley studied him carefully, seeing the cogs turning in his mind. She knew she'd like at least one more child, but she honestly hadn't thought about having another one so soon. It would be quite the task to look after two babies so close in age, but she also couldn't help getting excited at the possibility of giving Tyler a brother or sister close to his age. She loved being a mother and she didn't need to work, they had more than enough money to support them both without ever working again. She could trust Susan to look after things at work until she was ready to return… and she could use the time to work on the songs for her next album. She hadn't recorded in almost four years and even though she wasn't obliged to do a third album, she felt the creative juices flowing within her. Her record label knew she'd never tour; never take that much time away from her kids, and they were happy for her to just release an album. It would work out perfectly. They could do this. She wanted to do this.

"No. It wouldn't be a bad thing at all." Her soft words brought a smile to his face. He kissed her deeply, showing her just how happy she had made him.

"Another baby. Wow." Nathan was filled with joy and excitement as the reality of their decision sunk in.

"Don't get too excited. It could be a while before I fall pregnant again. Let's just see what happens."

"Okay, but in the meantime, let's practice." Nathan smothered her giggles with his kiss.

Love Lori