Author's Note: This story came threw itself at me at random. What are the real perspectives of the characters concerning their personality, wardrobe and placement on the show?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I own Masashi Kishimoto's email so no one PM me demanding to know it. I think he did and excellent job on the charcters, even if some seem a little static, and in no way do I think he needs to change them. This fic is to provide humorous entertainment, nothing more.

Chapter 1 : Naruto Uzumaki

To: Masashi Kishimoto

From: Naruto Uzumaki

Orange? Why orange? Wouldn't it be more sensible for me to wear something that would blend in with my surroundings? Being a ninja in all. It's just a suggestion but perhaps camouflage would work better.

Hell, Kakashi gets to wear green and guess what? He blends in!

And why, dear god why, do I keep saying 'Believe it'? Yes, I realize that 'ttebayo' is added to nearly everything I say in the original version and the English dub decided that "Believe it" was the closest meaning to that word but it only works every so often, not ALL the time.

For example: "I enjoy stuffing my face full of ramen. Believe it!" or "There was something strange in my toilet this morning. Believe it!"

See? It makes no sense whatsoever and also makes me sound extremely juvenile, which I guess is what you've decided I needed to be in this series.

And that little string thingy on my arm. What the hell is that?

It serves no purpose and I actually manage to smack myself in the face with it a few times during sparring.

I also wonder why you made me eyes all squinty-like, like what you do when you stare into the sun. Everytime they go all squinty, it looks like I got kicked in my men very hard recently. Foxes don't squint; what the hell is wrong with you?

With appreciation,

Uzumaki, Naruto

P.S. Before I came a Genin, my goggles that I wore made my ears stick out. Can you say Dumbo?