Title: Keeping Your Enemies Close

Author: Cszemis

Rating: M!

Summary: They say keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. And Eric Cartman will have to get close if he wants Kyle to learn his lesson. MATURE! Don't read it if you don't want to end up scarred. No under age people!

For this story… all I can do is apologise. This one shot has absolutely nothing to do with Oedipus Complex. If anyone is to blame for this then it is the South Park creators for having so many Eric vs. Kyle moments in Season 10 and DarkPenguin over at Deviant Art whose art always amazes me. They're always an inspiration.

I hear you calling and it's needles and pins (And pins)
I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin (Deep in)
I want to kiss you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison running through my veins
You're poison, I don't wanna break these chains

One look could kill
My pain, your thrill
I want to love you but I better not touch (Don't touch)
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much (Too much)
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison running through my veins
You're poison, I don't wanna break these chains

Poison by Alice Cooper

Kyle: ... I'm hanging up now.

Cartman: No, Kyle, listen! Please! I think right about now, I'm in my mom's freezer.

Kyle: Suck my balls, fatass.

Cartman: ... I will. I will suck your balls, Kyle. Just stop me from freezing myself, and I will get down on my knees, and I will suck your balls. I'll suck 'em dry, Kyle.

Go God Go Part XII

Kyle should have known better.

He should have known, right when he answered the door, that Eric Cartman was up to something.

It was the glint in his eye, his heavy hand against the door frame of the Broflovski residence, a smile twitching at the corner of his lips. It was the way he seemed to be really looking at Kyle for the first time in his life, measuring, exploring every little facet with his eyes.

Everything about the look in Cartman's eyes told him to run, run away faster than his legs could carry him. Out the backdoor, over the fence and out to Stan's house. But Kyle was stubborn, as was Cartman, so he just glared at South Park's biggest asshole as Cartman ran his gaze up and down his body.

"What do you want fat ass?" Kyle hissed at him.

"I'm here on some very important business Kahl," that was how Eric always pronounced his name. They had known each other all their lives but Eric always drawled the name, as if he was too lazy to pronounce the "y."

"I don't care," Kyle narrowed his eyes and began closing the door, "you can fuck off right now."

The smile on Cartman's face only widened as the seventeen year old wedged his foot in before the door could close, "I don't think you heard me Kahl."

"I said fuck off!" Kyle shoved hard against the door, not caring if he crushed Cartman's very large feet.

A few more minutes of this and there was no chance that the front door could put up with such abuse. Both young men were extremely tall, Cartman measuring in at an intimidating 6'1" although he always seemed taller than that. Kyle was taller at 6'2" but he lacked the weight advantage that Cartman so obviously possessed. That was not to say that Cartman was obese. He was finally, for once in his life, more in the overweight category but that was because of the fat was combined with muscles, leading to the nickname "Tank" on the school football team.

But nobody took much notice the door beginning to warp over the battle of muscles. Kyle ended up with his back to the door, digging in the balls of his feet in an effort to keep Cartman out. Eric meanwhile had only had his hand on the door, a hand backed up by a very firm forearm and rock hard muscles.

"Fuck off Cartman!" Kyle pushed harder. He did not have a clue what Eric wanted but he knew Cartman's facial expressions so well after all these years, and that was clearly an "I'm going to destroy someone" smile on Cartman's lips.

"It's only going to hurt you if you fight back," Cartman chuckled outside.

"I said leave me alone!" Kyle ran against the door and tried to shove it with his shoulder. All he ended up with was a rather large bruise and a dent in his front door that no doubt his mother would spot eventually.

"Kahl," with one arm Eric was able to push open the door, but that was because Kyle slipped and ended up a heap on the floor, "this isn't going to hurt a bit."

Kyle ended up stuck between the wall and the now open front door. He looked up to see Cartman take two big steps into his house. The fat ass looked around a little confused at Kyle's disappearance, seemingly disappointed in the fact that Kyle must have ran off.

But that smile only grew as he realised where Kyle had ended up, curled up half hidden by the door, alarm in his deep blue eyes. Cartman swung the door shut to reveal the Jewish young man and smirked down at him as the only barrier between them clicked shut.

They stared at each other for a few minutes, Kyle trying to regain his composure in a rather inelegant position on the floor, Cartman casting a large shadow over him. With the light behind him, Cartman's front was bathed entirely in darkness, the top of his head like an eclipse. The beads of light around Eric's head only seemed to make him more intimidating, not at all saintly like you might have thought.

"Erm…" Kyle thought hard for something to say while Cartman leaned over him, "are you ok?"

"No, I'm not," Cartman spoke in low tones.

"That sucks," Kyle sat up, not enjoying how vulnerable he felt on the floor.

"Your family are out, I saw them leave," Cartman stated. It was a fact Kyle obviously already knew and it only increased his apprehension.

"Yeah?" Kyle narrowed his eyes and leaned against the wall to stand up.

As Kyle picked up himself up, something glinted in Eric's eyes, "I waited for them to leave. I needed you alone."

"Why?" Kyle tried to edge towards the door, hoping to open it up and get away at some point.

"I've come to realise, after so many adventures, so many years of me making a fool of myself and you the morally victorious, so many years of you calling me a fat ass and me calling you a dirty, filthy, stinking Jew, that you never do a fucking thing I say."

"Of course not," Kyle snorted, "if I did what you say then I'd be killing people or myself more likely."

"Kahl. Kahl. Kahl," Eric tutted with his tongue, "why would I ask you to kill yourself when I have too much fun watching you suffer?"

"I'm not your plaything," Kyle inched towards the door more but Eric seemed to have noticed. He placed a strong hand against the door, keeping it closed and leaned over Kyle.

"Do you remember," Eric breathed against Kyle, "that time when I froze myself? You refused to help me out…"

"We were nine Cartman!" Kyle protested.

"Remember what you said? You told me to suck your balls. And I promised to do that if you helped me out. You didn't. You were the one to screw me over."

"You didn't freeze yourself Cartman!" Kyle argued, "You made that up!"

"I came to realise," Cartman continued, not listening, "that you have told me to suck your balls 1,138 times ever since you learned that phrase at the age of 6."

"It's just an expression!"

"In the hard times, you know, the life and death situations, I always promised to do so if you helped me out," Cartman leaned closer, "and you never have."

"I don't want to help you with whatever the hell you get up to!" Kyle tried to shove Cartman away, "and I don't want you sucking my balls either!"

Cartman laughed, low and deep, "you know what else I realised Kahl?"

"What?" Kyle met his eyes and did not like the darkness there.

"I realised, you never do as I say because I don't suck your balls. I need to do it first. I need to teach you the lesson before you fuck with me."

Kyle felt like he had been drenched in ice. A shiver ran from the base of his spine up to his shoulders and back down again. He visibly shuddered, his face draining as his nerve endings tingled.

Cartman chuckled and lightly pressed himself against Kyle, his breath warm on Kyle's cheek.

"FUCK OFF CARTMAN!" Kyle's voice was much higher than he had intended it to be, "YOU CAN FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW!

Kyle felt something hard press into his stomach. But before nausea hit him, he realised that it wasn't what he thought it was. It was hard, but it was also metal and smooth.

"Get up the fucking stairs Kahl," Cartman whispered, pressing a gun into Kyle's stomach, "I don't want to have to do something I'd regret."

Kyle looked down at the gun and then back up at Eric, "Cartman, please."

Only one side of Cartman's mouth was smirking but it only made him look sadistically happier, "Get up the fucking stairs, NOW."

"Eric," Kyle never used Cartman's first name. Ever, "come on. Please don't do this."

"You can beg me later. Now move."

He stood back to allow Kyle to move. But he kept the gun pointed at Kyle, making sure that the Jewish boy was not about to try and run out the front door or anything. With his head lowered, Kyle made his way towards the stairs, Cartman following. Kyle could hear the thump thump thump of Cartman's heavy footsteps behind him, following slowly like a predator. Kyle's heart was in his chest as he thought desperately how to get out of the situation.

Faster than he thought possible, Kyle and Eric were suddenly at the top of the stairs. Kyle thought of Stan and mentally tried to send out a plea for help. But he knew that would never work, Stan was not the one with slight psychic abilities.

"Oh God," Kyle wrung his hands, his brow beginning to glisten with nervous sweat, "why is this fucking happening?"

"You shoulda known it was gonna happen one day," Cartman seemed to purr, "You should have known not to fuck with me."

"But you're not gay Cartman!" Kyle swung around to face his enemy.

Cartman put a hand on Kyle's shoulders and led him backwards towards the bedroom, "we're all a little gay Kahl."

"But you hate me!" Kyle wanted to yell, to kick and scream but he could not with the gun pointed straight at him.

"Only a little," Cartman chuckled.

He gave Kyle a shove into his bedroom and then followed. The first thing he did, with the gun still focused on Kyle, was to go and over and close the curtains. The room was suddenly darkened and every part of Kyle began to tingle. Eric's eyes and smile seemed to twinkle in the darkness like a Cheshire Cat.

"Cartman, come on, you don't want to do this!"

"I want lessons to be learned. God knows you say 'I've learned something today' often enough. It's time for you to learn the most important lesson of all."

He took two steps towards the frightened young man, "Don't fuck with Eric Cartman."

Cartman pointed the gun at Kyle's head and aimed. He then spoke slowly, keeping his eye on his face, "Now strip."

Unable to stop himself from shaking, Kyle pulled his sweater over the top of his head. He removed his arms from the material and then threw it to the side. As he began to unbutton down his shirt Cartman lowered the gun. But if Kyle thought that Eric was relenting then he was very clearly wrong. Kyle had unbuttoned half of his shirt when Cartman moved closer and started kissing the skin that had been revealed.

Kyle's eyes opened wide and he lifted his arms to shove him away but he felt the gun pressing into his abs once more and could only watch silently as Cartman kissed from his shoulder up to just behind his ear. He shuddered again when Cartman found a sensitive spot on his neck. Feeling Kyle shake against him, Eric chuckled and started sucking on the skin, taking a cruel sort of pleasure when he heard Kyle hiss with pleasure.

"I told you it wasn't going to hurt," Cartman drawled in his ear, his breath warm and heavy.

He slipped a hand under Kyle's shirt and held his hip possessively, Kyle finishing with the shirt. He was reluctant to pull it away and allow Cartman to see his bare chest but it would not have mattered anyway. Cartman's hand moved from Kyle's hip, sliding up his side to Kyle's chest, his thumb stroking Kyle's nipple. He shuddered again, not used to feeling such sensations, certainly not from another guy.

"Fucking hell," Kyle could feel his pulse racing, his heart in his throat.

"You like that?" Cartman whispered, sounding eager.

"Fuck," was all Kyle could say as Cartman teased him with his fingers and his lips. And he said "FUCK!" even louder when Cartman's lips softly trailed down his neck, his collar bone, to his chest, running his tongue around the nipple.

Kyle could feel himself getting turned on, even thought he fought with all his being not to be. There was that awful tightening of his jeans as Cartman slowly began to awaken the pleasure centres of Kyle's body. In the middle of all the teasing Cartman had tossed the gun away, still within his reach just in case, and his other hand began to stroke up and down Kyle's spine, one finger causing Kyle to ripple with pleasure.

"Eric!" Kyle whimpered, once again just wanting to escape the situation, even though his body screamed approval.

"Shh!" Cartman shushed him, sounding almost gentle as he placed one finger over Kyle's lips. And then his own lips grazed Kyle's, slowly silencing him. He held the kiss there for a moment before moving back down Kyle's body.

As Kyle became more and more docile, Cartman backed him up towards the bed. It did not take very much to make Kyle lie back, Cartman's tongue exploring Kyle's stomach and his abs. With his hands running up and down Kyle's sides, Cartman's tongue ran around and around Kyle's navel before licking inside it.

"Please," Kyle shivered, his voice hoarse and shaky, "stop."

"You've not learned your lesson yet," Cartman breathed.

Alarm bells rang in Kyle's head as he felt Cartman's fingers make short work of his belt, sliding it off and tossing it away. He lifted his head off the bed to watch Eric unbutton his jeans. Realising he was being watched, Eric looked up to meet Kyle's eyes. He kept his gaze there as he pulled down the zipper. Kyle winced and shuddered as more and more of himself was being revealed to the cruel and sadistic young man.

Hooking his fingers around the top of Kyle's jeans, Cartman tugged sharply down. It hurt Kyle a little bit and he had to lift his hips off the bed to make it easier. He could feel the material being sharply pulled down his legs and away from around his ankles.

Cartman chuckled as he saw of Kyle, "you're hairier than I thought you were."

"Shut the fuck up!" Kyle growled at him.

Eric mock saluted, "Yes, sir!"

"I mean it Cartman," Kyle tried to sounder tougher than he actually felt, "you've went too far this time! If you stop now, I swear I won't tell anyone about this."

Cartman stroked Kyle's hardness through the last piece of material separating him from all of Kyle, "you know I never go half way Kahl. And you know I'm willing to do anything… anything to get my way."

Kyle began to sit up, "Cartman!"

Eric's eyes narrowed, "Do I have to get the gun again?"

That made the redhead stop fighting back. With dread and pleasure in his stomach, Kyle lay back down again, staring at the ceiling and tried to pretend he was somewhere else. In class, at Stark's Pond, anywhere but here.

He felt Cartman dispose of his boxer shorts in the same way he disposed his jeans, hooking his fingers and tugging down. Again he felt the material slip down his legs and away from his ankles. He was shaking when Cartman began to kiss around his inner thighs, kneeling before him, his lips trailing from his knees and upwards.

The world seemed to stop. It was with half a roar and with his hips jumping off the bed that Kyle felt Cartman take one of his balls into his mouth. He shuddered violently as he felt the warmth around that region, the caress of a tongue. He felt more than heard Cartman snigger as pleasure began to overcome him.

With Kyle now completely at his mercy, Cartman alternated between each side, sucking, licking, squeezing, thrilled at how Kyle responded to each. The redhead squirmed and groaned, his breathing heavily, his mind unable to comprehend all the pleasure now consuming his body.

This continued for a grueling five minutes as Cartman held Kyle there on that level of pleasure. To Kyle it seemed to last forever, he began to feel like the world had stopped and there was only this; only this feeling. One part of his mind still rebelled, screaming that it was Cartman causing this, that the pleasure was wrong when it came from someone like him. But the muscles were unable to hear, shaking, quivering from the ripples of pleasure.

Smirking to himself, Cartman ran his tongue up Kyle's hardness and took him entirely into his mouth. Kyle yelped again, his fingers grabbing the sheets under him. His body arched, taking him further into the moist warmth and then he sank back down, his face flushed, his body sweating.

Cartman's head began to bob, once again alternating between sucking a licking. He paid a lot of attention of the most sensitive regions and his hands wandered, not letting Kyle's senses dullen for even a moment. Kyle was not as loud as some. His only responses were sudden gasps, low, deep groans, pained sighs of pleasure. And Cartman's rewards were the sudden quickening of Kyle's breathing.

Occasionally he looked up into Kyle's face but he never stopped, not for a moment. He did slow down, making the sensation long and deliberate, other times he was fast, making Kyle whimper and groan, biting his lip to stop himself from screaming out. What Cartman really wanted was to hear Kyle shout his name but he began to realise what he had was so much better. He could control Kyle's feelings, his moans and groans; he was completely at his mercy.

After a while, Cartman's cheeks began to hurt and he moved faster, his head bobbing up and down while Kyle pulled at the sheets and cried out. After a few more grueling moments Kyle finally reached his peak, his pinnacle, but he could not form words. He just yelled, a strange sort of sound half way between a moan and a groan, his breathing escaping him entirely.

It felt like his whole body had exploded, little fireworks bursting out all over his flesh. His muscles were taut, rigid as he arched his back. For a few moments he was no longer Kyle. There was the rush of orgasm and he spilled himself into Cartman's mouth. A tsunami of pleasure hit him, crashing into his hips and up his body, finally receding down to his ankles, his heart exploding.

It was from that point that Kyle began to be himself once more. Cartman had stopped and he was still kneeling over him, a half expectant expression on his face. An aftershock hit Kyle as he looked up at his tormentor.

"You enjoyed yourself," Eric whispered cruelly.

Kyle tried to glare but he did not have the energy to.

It was a very drained Kyle Broflovski that dressed himself. Cartman sat at the edge of the bed, gun in hand, just watching while he struggled. Because it was a struggle. His muscles were too tired, too exhausted after the onslaught and his body still shivered with the aftershocks of an orgasm. He had totally lost all his strength in those few minutes. And Eric Cartman knew, but he just watched.

When he finally pulled his sweater back over his head, his hair all messed up, Kyle motioned for them both to go back downstairs. Cartman complied, tucking the gun back into the inside pocket of his jacket. He followed Kyle down the stairs but if he was expecting a drink or a snack for afterwards then he was very much mistaken.

Kyle went straight to his front door and opened it. Cartman chuckled as Kyle held the door open for him, his expression dazed, and his eyes not really seeing the world around him.

Standing on the threshold of the house, Cartman turned back round and looked at Kyle, now just standing outside, "You've finally learned your lesson."

Kyle blinked.

"You finally know now, don't fuck with Eric Cartman," Cartman smiled at him.

Awareness returned to Kyle's eyes and he smiled back. Grabbing the door tightly in one hand, he slammed it in Eric Cartman's face.

"No, Cartman, I don't."