I Am Afraid

I'm afraid to listen to you
Because I'm not sure what you'd say.
What if you said part of you was already dead
And that some mornings you almost don't get out of bed?
What if I saw tears shimmering in your eyes,
And even worse, what if I felt them in mine?
I'm afraid to hear your pain.

I'm afraid to hold you
Because I don't know what I'd feel.
What if suddenly I felt your shoulders shaking-
And what if underneath your jacket, I felt your heart breaking?
I couldn't deal with any of your pain,
So again, I shove you off with a flashy grin, telling you not today.
I'm too afraid that those wounds won't heal.

I'm afraid to speak to you
But it's not because I don't have much to say.
What if I reminded you of everything you've lost,
What if you some how realized that you've been dealt the highest cost?
What if one misguided comment goes too far,
What would happen if I didn't play the right cards?
I'm just sick of being afraid.

I'm afraid of what will happen to you because of this fear,
My friend, my brother, I'm weak- I'm sorry.
I watch you go through all this pain, taking it day by day,
But thinking of the road you're on, what sort of relief you must crave...
Please, please don't leave me here- please,
I still need you here, don't decide it's time for you to leave.
I know I haven't been there, I've just gone wrong-
But for you, I swear I will try to be a rock you can stand on.
Just please, don't leave me alone.

To be honest, I'm afraid of writing any more poetry! I really don't know which brother this is about, but it's just something I found from my Season One writing days, and I thought I'd let it loose. ;)