Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any characters affiliated. My brother owns 'Bubba and his cousins…' I only own the idea that this plot is based on.
Warning: extreme perversion and a creepy homophobe.
"Sasuke please can I be seme…"
"NO! You are obviously uke material."
"Please just for once."
"No. You are and will forever be an uke."
"That is not fair."
"You weren't complaining last night."
"Sasuke, no. I refuse to let you… do that to me."
"Come on. Naruto, please." Puppy dogs eyes were directed in Naruto's direction.
"NO! You weirdo! NO! I think your brother seriously addled your brains."
"Please. Naruto it is my dream."
"NO! I already went this far you are not forcing me to… not getting me to… do that!"
Sasuke leaned forward and kissed Naruto. Naruto felt his hands going around his waist.
"Thank you, Naruto. You helped me realize my dream."
"What! YOU CHEATED SASUKE-TEME!" Naruto pulled on the short frilly skirt that was now adorned with an apron. "What kind of sick freak wants to see a boy in a French maid outfit?"
"I would and may I say the apron definitely completed the look."
Naruto stepped out of the shower and reached for his clothes. He couldn't find them. He searched the bathroom for a towel. Where the hell were all the towels?
"SASUKE!!!" Down the hallway said Uchiha smirked and dumped the bathroom hamper down the laundry shoot.
A horny bastard.
Kisses slipped down Naruto's neck and played around his collarbone.
"No I'm tired."
"We only did it 6 times."
"Liar, 7 times!"
"Come on I do all the work."
"Please let me shove a stick up your ass and see if you want to try it again."
"You never complain."
"I am complaining now!"
Sasuke leaned back and began to masturbate in front of his little Naruto. Naruto 'humph'-ed and turned around until Sasuke began to moan his name.
"FINE! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND YOUR DICK IN MY ASS!"
"Yay!" Sasuke giggled and jumped over to Naruto.
Naruto entered the house slightly inebriated. Slightly. Okay he was plastered.
"Where have you been?"
"Neji, Kiba, and Kakashi."
"You moron. Do you have any idea how worried I was and I was all house wife-y and made you dinner and your dumb ass goes and gets plastered, instead?" Sasuke's eyes glowed red.
"You don't even alert that you are back from your mission! YOU CAN SLEEP ON THE COUCH! NOT THE COMFY ONE NO THE ONE THAT HAS SPRINGS ALL STICKING OUT AND STUFF SO YOU KNOWS HOW IT FEELS TO BE SITTING ON PINS AND NEEDLES WAITING FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND TO BE REASONABLE AND COME HOME!"
"You are being unreasonable."
That night Sasuke showed no mercy. He pounded into him and forced him to sleep on his back on the floor. His ass hurt like nothing else the next morning. He couldn't sit properly for a week.
Hinata and Sakura and Ino greeted Naruto with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Sasuke glared at them with Sharingan eyes and later on threatened them at kunai point that if they ever touched what was his they would wake up to find all of their loved ones dead.
When Naruto found out he called Sasuke Itachi-esque to which Itachi pleaded that not even he was that fucked up. Sasuke got pissed and yelled and Naruto told him no sex for a month. He immediately re-threatened the girls to say that he apologized, which he really didn't and rectify the situation.
Love equals payback.
That night Sasuke found that he was locked out of the house. The inns refused to let him occupy and all of citizens of Konoha refused to let him in except for a creepy homophobic fat man who thought he was a pretty lady. And used the exact words…
"Get your pretty ass over here and let Bubba make you feel good…"
"Bubba" weighed 365 pound and frightened Sasuke terribly. Sasuke apologized and decided to sleep outside for the night. In the morning he promised to let Naruto top and apologized to Ino, Sakura, Hinata, and Naruto.