It's. . . . it's. . . . OVVVVVVVEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!. . . . . well, almost over, anyway. (sigh) It was good while it lasted. I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did.

Since this is the last chapter, I tried to do it justice. Hopefully you will all be satisfied after the LONG delay (sorry, guys, been busy, you know?).

Chapter 12: The End?

"It better be!" said Vannan. "I'm sick and tired of this stupid story! It's so idiotic and dumb and pointless and. . . ." she went on and on till the thesaurus ran out of words.

"Why don't you just get out the thesaurus and give us all the words?" challenged Vannan.

"I did the get the thesaurus," said the author. "I had to make sure I was spelling 'thesaurus' right."

Everybeast scowled.

"HEY!" said Matthias brightly. "You remembered to put 'everybeast' without Dandin yelling at you!"

Mariel suddenly broke down into hysterical sobbing.

Bryony put a comforting arm around her. "There, there, dear. What's the matter?"


"SHUT UP!" roared Sunflash.

Everyone gasped and stared at Sunflash.

Matthias shook his head pityingly at the author. "Shame. You almost had streak goin' there."


"With proper animal grammar."


"You know," said Swartt to the author. "Its been a rrreeeaaalllyyy long time since you updated this fic."

"That's because I had to wait for my other fic Linwe Seregon Swifteye to come to its conclusion so that I could show the other death that Linwe and 'The Ego' chose for her."

"MMMMMMMMMMRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" said Ublaz, reminding them all that that self-same Sue was strangling him at that very moment.

"But I decided to just simply update this fic now because Linwe Seregon Swifteye is gonna take YEARS to finish - no offense to LittlePsychoWolf - so I thought I might as well finish this fic. Well, now you all have to save Ublaz."

"Oh right," said everyone-

"That's everybeast, stupid!" sobbed Mariel, taking over for Dandi. "Oh boo hoo hoo - HEY! You misspelled his name!"

"Gee, you're a bad speller," said Matthias's son. "Don't call me that!"

"I have to," said the author. "I said I woudn't mention your name once in this chapter."

"Hmph!" said Matthias' son. "Hey! You just spelled 'wouldn't' wrong! You spelled it 'woudn't'!"

"Shut up," said the author.


So everybeast turned to face Linwe, who still held gorgeous Ublaz hostage.

"Why are you callin' him gorgeous?!" demanded Slagar, who appeared out of nowhere. "That reviewer of yours said I was the best-looking!"

"That reviewer can't tell pudding from-"


"Oh, whoops," said the author. "Eh, I didn't mean that!"

Suddenly Columbine came in.

Just then, Columbine came in.

"Why did you just repeat yourself?" asked Matthias's son. "You don't put the extra 's' on Matth-!"

"COLUMBINE!" roared Gonff, running over to his wife, AFTER she beat up all the other females in the room.

"Hey!" objected all the other females in the room.

Gonff held his pretty wife in his arms, crooning softly to her.

"Awwww," said some of the other beasts, while the others went, "Bleah!"

Gonflet came in.

"Even though the author doesn't know what to do with me," the mousebabe said, speaking in a clear adult voice because the author was too lazy to attempt stereotypical baby-talk, "he still wanted to please Yemi Hikari, so I'm here. Blah."

Just then Tess came in and she walked up to her husband (Matthias' son).


"Not always," objected the author.

"SHUT UP!" roared Tess.

"Why is everyone ignoring meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!" whined Linwe, tightening her grip on Ublaz.


"That's everybeast, stupid!" sobbed Mariel.

Fine. Everybeast continued to ignore her.

"Who?" said Martin.



"Y'know," piped up Rose. "I always did agree that Badrang was really really hot in the TV series."

Everybeast stared at her (except Tess, who was glaring and huffing and puffing at her husband).

"What?!" demanded Rose.

"But . . . what about Martin?" asked Cornflower.

"Oh, Martin is my life, my soul . . . but I can still think that Badrang is better-looking; I'm not dead, you know."

"Actually, you are dead. In fact, we all are."

Rose blinked. "Oh yeah, right."

"Say," said the author. "You know how marriage vows are 'Till death do us part'? Since all you guys are dead, your marriage vows are no longer in exsistence."


"Does that mean . . ." Matthias whispered. "That I'm . . . single again?"

"Yeah, guess so."

"WAHOO!" screamed Martin. "New romance!" And with that, he grabbed Columbine and ran off with her.

Gonff sputtered. "What-but-buh, OH YEAH?! Well, two can play at that game!" He picked up Rose and was about to run off with her, but she bashed him upside the head and grabbed Badrang and ran off with him.

"C'mon, hunk, you're mine!" she said with a deranged grin on her face.

"Um, Martin?" asked Columbine as Martin ran through the winding corridors of the mansion. "Where are we going?"

"I don't know," replied Martin, still running. "You never see where people go whenever they run off together!"

"Well, you will now," said the author, grinning. "Go through that door on your left, please."

Martin obeyed (wow, for once they didn't question me), and entered into a room with nothing in it, and closed the door behind him.

"Um," said Martin after he set Columbine down. "Mr. Author? What do we do now?"


And with that, a bright purple ball came out of the ceiling and landed in Martin's paw.

"Hey! I like juggling!" giggled Martin as he tossed the ball to Columbine.

"Me too!" giggled Columbine as she tossed it back.

"How dare she steal my boyfriend?!" Rose growled as she watched them on the security cameras. In a fit of anger, she tightened her grip on Badrang's neck. The poor stoat's eyes looked as though they were about to pop out.

"Badrang!" Rose shouted dramatically. "It's time to juggle!"

And with that, the mousemaid brought out a couple of balls and threw them at the stoat, who wasn't paying attention as he massaged his neck.

"Heeeey!" whined Badrang. "Why are you throwing all those balls at me?!"

Rose scowled. "It's called juggling, have you never juggled before?!"

"No," said Badrang in a matter of fact tone.

"Shut up."

Meanwhile, back in the other room:

"Well!" said Matthias' son to Tess. "That means I'm not married to you anymore, so I don't have to put up with any of your-"


"O-O," said everyone.

"That's everybeast, stupid!" sobbed Mariel. "Oh boo hoo hoo!"

Whatever. So Matthias' son kissed Triss before he realized that he and Tess weren't married anymore.

"But I wasn't even thinking about it when it happened!" cried Matthias' son.

"Wait, wait," said Cluny. "When did this happen?"

"When I made my predictions a few chapters back, remember?" said Nightshade.

"Oh right," said Cluny.

"STOP IGNORING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" shrieked Linwe Seregon, shaking Ublaz by the neck.

Just then Atunra came in-

"Who?" asked Swartt.

"Atunra," said the author. "You know, that female pine marten from 'High Rhulain'?"

"Oh that's right."

So anyway, Atunra came in and got into a catfight with Linwe over Ublaz.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed the female pine marten (we rarely ever get female pine martens, do we, in canon?) as she tackled the Sue to the ground, pinning Ublaz beneath them.

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!" screeched Linwe, using her incredible Sue-skills to retaliate.

"Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!" said Ublaz; Linwe somehow was able to keep her beautiful dainty paw over his mouth.

Soon both females were rolling around on the ground with Ublaz sandwiched between them. Martin, Columbine, Rose, and Badrang all came back to see what all the comotion was about, and Gonff came back to consciousness to scream "CAT FIGHT!"

Gonflet gave his dad a look.

Columbine shook her head. "I wonder why fanfiction authors do that. They always make Gonff flirtatious and have him like cat fights more than anything. It just doesn't make sense to me. Like in Mossflower he blew off those three haremaids that were flirting with him because he was engaged to me, right?"

"You were engaged?" Martin asked, eyes widening. "I thought you guys were just dating!"

"O-o" said everybeast.

"How can we all say that?!" demanded everybeast.

"Whatever," said the author.

"Woooooooooooooow," said Dann dreamily, staring at the scene with Linwe, Ublaz, and Atunra (Song eyed him nastily). "What a lucky guy! I wish something like that would happen to me!"

"Dooooon't worrrrrrry," drawled the author in a really scary voice. "That'll happen maybe some day."

Dann didn't know whether to gulp nervously or to go, "Wahoo!"

After a few hours of watching the two furious females wrestle on the ground with poor Ublaz in the middle (Ublaz in the Middle, Malcom in the Middle, ha ha? No, that's stupid), things were starting to get boring.

"This is starting to get boring," said Predak.

"Yeah," agreed Gelltor, glancing at the torture chair that he had built.

So without further ado, all the animals in the room (even Mariel, who left off sobbing for Dandin for the moment) got up-

"Weren't we already standing up?!" demanded Swartt.

The author scowled. "Shut up."

"Hmph!" said Swartt.

Anyway, the beasts managed to grab Linwe and wrestle her down and chain her to Gelltor's torture chair.

It wasn't easy, though.

First, they had to stop her from stabbing Atunra with her dagger.

Then they had to get Atunra off of Linwe.

Then they had to get Linwe off of Ublaz, and that wasn't easy.

"Grmp! Grrr! Augh!" snarled Linwe as she fought off everybeast with her superior fighting skills.

"Ah great, so what do we do now?"! said Martin. "Hey! Mr. Author, you have a typo at the end of my sentence!"

"Shut up."


But anyway, it was Cluny who overpowered Linwe in the end.

"How?!" demanded all the other females in the room.

The stench from his armpits made her pass out.

Indeed it had.

"Oh," said everyone.

"That's everybeast," stupid!" sobbed Mariel. "Hey, you got another typo-"


Anyway, Linwe began to come around again, so they quickly chained her to Gelltor's torture chair before it was too late.

"Grrah! Grr!" snarled Linwe as she strained against her bonds. When that didn't work, she started crying, "Dann! Dann! Darling, save me! Save me! Save-" then Song stuffed her mouth with a lot of chocolate cake.

Linwe was, of course, furious that she was not only chained down, but also that her beautiful perfect face was smeared with chocolate frosting, hardly the thing a girl wanted to attract a man!

Gelltor stood by the switch and pulled it all the way up to the skull.

For a moment nothing happened.

For a second moment, nothing happened.

For a third moment, nothing happened.

For a fourth moment, nothing happened.

For a fifth-

"WHEN'S IT GONNA START?!" SHRIEKED SONg sorry stupid caps got outta control (I think we saw enough of her "angry-caps" mode in Linwe Seregon Swifteye).

Finally, a low rumbling noise started.

Then these little robotic arms came down on either side of Linwe's face and forced her to face forwards, and these other arms came down and kept her eyes open with their fingers so she couldn't shut them.

Then a large-sized screen came down and rested before her face.

For a moment (and it was just a moment, I promise) the screen was blank.

Then it started to play. . . .


"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed all the other beasts in the beasts in the room.

Linwe screamed too, much more louder than the others, but it was not loud enough to drown out the terrible, horrible, disgusting, abominable Telletubbie music.

For out of the two deaths that Linwe and The Ego (if you've read Linwe Seregon Swifteye you'd know what I'm talking about) chose for her. . . .

. . . . one of them was watching the Telletubbies.

"DUCK IN COVER!" shouted Slagar as he dove behind a door. Everyone else followed suit.

"That's everybeast, stupid!" shouted a sobbing Mariel as she plugged her ears (you'd think she'd forget about something like that in a time like this, but nooooooooo) and dove behind another door.

Linwe tried to break away from her bonds, she tried to close her eyes, she tried to turn away, but she couldn't do any of those things, and the Telletubbies were so loud and disgusting and annoying and- and-

Princess Linwe Seregon M.A.R.Y.S.U.E.M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Swifteye the Warrioress had exploded, spraying everyone and everything with pink goop.


"That's everybeast, stupid!" sobbed Mariel. "Oh boo hoo hoo!"

Just then Asmodeus came slithering in and ate up what was left of Linwe's not-so-perfect-any-more dead body.

"Hey As!" said Matthias cheerfully. "How's the new fic coming along?"

The adder glared at him. "Terrible. Mind your own busssinesssssssssssss."

Then he slithered off, leaving the torture chair clean of any pink sue goop.

"This calls for a celebration!" shouted Gonff, and he ripped out the controller thingy pointed it at Romsca.

"Augh!" screamed everyone-

"That's everybeast, stupid!" snapped Mariel. "Oh boo hoo!"

Suddenly Romsca was on a stage, and behind her was a screen that began to play little clips of something.

Guitar music started play, causing everyone-

"Everybeast boo hoo!"

Fine. Causing everybeast to look around the room, but nobeast could tell where the music was coming from.

Romsca started to sing (in a surprisingly good voice):

"There were places we would go . . . at midnight. . . ."

Here the screen behind Romsca showed Veil and Romsca going on a walk at midnight.

Bluefen straightened up and gave her blushing son a look.

Romsca continued on with her song.

"I'm not dreamin' but

I don't know why.

I don't know why.

I don't know why.

I thought they all belonged to meeeeeeeee. . . .

The room went dark for a moment.

Then a spotlight went on Romsca, and she looked up sharply, and said (or sang): "Who's that girl?!"

And on the screen a picture of Kurda came on.

"Where's she from?

No she can't be the one,

That you want,

That has stolen my world."

On the screen it showed Romsca staring at Veil and Kurda, wrapped in eachother's arms.

"It's not real,

It's not right!"

The screen showed Romsca shaking her head in denial and then running off.

"It's my life!

By the way,

Who's that girl . . .?"

The screen showed Romsca running across the beach, splashing in the waves.

"Livin' my life. . . .

Livin' my liiiiiiiiiife. . . ."

"That is a direct rip from that one Flight 29 Down music video," commented Tess.

"Fine," snapped the Author. "I don't own Flight 29 Down or the originality of this music video."

"Seems like everythings the same . . .

Around me. . . .

But I look again and everything has changed. . . ."

The screen showed Romsca glaring at Veil and Kurda toasting eachother.

"I'm not dreamin' but

I don't know why,

I don't know why,

I don't know why . . .

She's everywhere I wanna be!









BY THE WAY. . . .

Who's that girl . . .?

Livin' my life. . . .?

I'm the one,

That made you laugh. . . ."

The screen showed Veil and Romsca hugging and laughing, leaning eachother's heads together.

Everybeast (there I remembered without anyone- I mean, anybeast shouting at me!) in the audience stared at Veil and Kurda, both of whom blushed.

When the song was finally over, Romsca marched over to Veil and said, "Weeeell?!"

Veil blinked. "Wuh-well what?"

"Who's that girl?!" Romsca shouted, pointing at Kurda, who writhed with embarrassment.

"She's . . . Kurda," Veil answered, not sure what to say.

"COOL!" shouted Gonff. "A love triangle!"

"Veil!" cried Bluefen. "First an older woman, and now THAT?!" she added, pointing at Kurda.

"Hey!" objected Kurda.

"Veil," Bryony said in a soft voice, placing her paw against his cheek. "Is this the life you really want to live? As a player?"

"Hey, he's my son!" objected Bluefen, pushing Bryony out of the way. "I'll be the one to talk to him!"

"I was the one who raised him," retorted Bryony. "And put up with all his rebelliousness, and trekked through woods, jumped over waterfalls, climbed up mountains to protect!"

"Well!" said Bluefen. "I would have loved to have given him all the tender love and affection that he needed, oh, except for the fact that I was dead."

"Oh, yeah, right. Like that's--"

"Oh shut up."

"No you shut up."

"No you shut up."

"No you shut up."

"No you shut up."

"CAT FIGHT!" roared Gonff, waving his pom poms.

Columbine slapped him.


Columbine wagged a paw at him. "You're setting a bad example for our son!"

Gonflet was sitting quietly nearby because the author, sadly, was completely uninspired with what to do with the littel tyke.

"Hey," said Slagar. "Even though we killed off Linwe, we still haven't found out what she did with the guys she already kidnapped."

That little comment made Mariel start crying and the mousemaid raced over to a door that just appeared out of nowhere. She ripped it open, and!


"Um, Mr. Author?" said Matthias.


"He fell asleep again?" said Bluefen.

"HUH?! Wha--oh I," the author yawned.

Everybeast scowled.

Mariel ripped open the door and . . . .


"If he fell asleep one more time," growled Rose.

"Oh, no," said the author. "I'm just teasing."

Everybeast sighed.

Mariel ripped open the door and . . . .

"DON'T YOU START TRAILIN' OFF!!!" Rose roared.

"Yes, marm," said the author.

Mariel ripped open the door annnnnnnnnnnnd–

(The animals cringed)

--Dandin, all tied up and gagged, fell into her arms.

"DANDIN!" Mariel screamed happily, just like a little girl who found her favorite stuffed animal. She began hugging him tightly, thus cutting off all his access for breathing.

While Rose and Bryony tried to comfort Mariel off of Dandin, everybody else--

"Mats evry beets, moopid!" said Dandin through his gag.

"Mats evry beets?" said the author. "Well, okay. . . ."


Everybeast looked past the door that Dandin had fallen out of to see all of the guys who had been captured. So, without further ado, they were all untied, ungagged, reunited with their loved ones, and they realized that it was morning--

"Oh please!" said Ferahgo. "It's got to have been at least a hundred mornings since we came to this dump!"

"And for what, huh?!" said a very agitated Klitch. "Where's the treasure that Veil was supposed to find?"

"Yeah, Veil," said Deyna. "Where's the freakin' treasure?!"

Soon everybeast was beginning to gang up on the poor ferret.

"Um, Mr. Author?" said Veil nervously.

"Sorry, man, you're on your own."

Veil could only back away from all the weasels, marlfoxes, ferrets, mice, squirrels, otters, and other angry fauna that were all very mad at him for not finding the treasure. Just as his back hit the front door, his elbow hit a switch that made a whole bunch of greenbacks come crashing down on him.

For awhile everybeast just stared at the huge mound of cash that had supposedly crushed the poor young ferret. Then they began to cheer and dive into the money mountain.

Well, that's all for now, folks.

Now, what you have witnessed in this story is more than 60 pages of sarcasm, dark humor, violence, and cat fights galore. You have also witnessed certain characters either getting along with each other, or getting into brawls with them. If you have been inspired by this story, then please, by all means, write it down.

So long, suckers!

"WAIT!" screamed Gonff.

"Now what?" sighed the author, who really wanted this stupid story to end.

"Ublaz never had to sing a stupid song like we did!"

The author realized that the mousethief was right!

"Point it at Ublaz," said the author, meaning the remote.

Gonff held out the remote, which he surprisingly held onto this whole time.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" screamed Ublaz, throwing his well-muscled arms over his extremely handsome face.

Suddenly the pine marten was on a stage with a microphone in his hand. Colored lights flashed everywhere. Some Mexican- (or Spanish or Latino or however it is) sounding music sounded nearby.

Ublaz begin to dance a small jig before starting his song.

"Feliz Navidad,

Feliz Navidad,

Feliz Navidad,

Prospero Ano y felicidad.

Feliz Navidad,

Feliz Navidad,

Feliz Navidad,

Prospero Ano y felicidad.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas,

from the bottom,

of my heeeeaaaarrrrtttt."

They all found out Ublaz had a rather good singing voice, and they all begin to dance to the song, waving their cash around.

Song jumped up on stage with Ublaz and began to sing with him. The Marlvixens stood behind them and danced. Dann eyed Ublaz jealously, but was bonked on the head by a loose greenback.

(Veil had been dug out of the greenback mountain, in case you're wondering)

And so they were all happy because after all that trouble, they got a whole load of cash.

Then the doors to the mansion opened up, and golden sunshine came forth, and a white limo appeared out in front.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!" cheered everybeast as they all crowded into the limo carrying all their cash.

And so, while the limo drived by itself (yes, the limo was driving by itself it's a random humor fic I can do as I please - well, sort of), all of its passengers danced, sang, and partied, waving around their cash.

One of those little shiny globe balls was hanging from the roof and casting several lights all over them, and their was music and drinks passed all around.

Several beasts were suddenly in a hot tub-

"How can there be a hot tub in a limo?" asked Sunflash, giving his long blonde hair a toss.

"Shut up," said the author.

Several kisses were exchanged (in the case of Mariel, Song, and the two Dans', some punches were also exchanged).

Gelltor had Mokkan tied up and was happily torturing him.

And so they were all happy.



"That's everybeast, stu-"


A lightening bolt hit Dandin, making him go all black and frizzled.

So everyone (stupid Dandin) turned to Vannan, who had shouted.

"Where's Ascrod?" the vixen asked.

Everyone looked around, and realized, he wasn't there!

Back at the mansion. . . .

. . . upstairs. . . .

. . . a door burst open. . . .

. . . and a pink mummy covered in pink bows hopped out of a bedroom.

Ascrod was still wrapped up in those pink strips that Gelltor had put him in, with his eyes, nose, ears, and tail sticking out, but everything else was strapped in tight.

"Mmrf! Mrf mrf!" the poor Marlfox grunted, trying to break free, without any luck.

"Mmrrrf! Mrf mrf!" said Ascrod.

(Translation: "I will have my revenge, Gelltor!")


Author: Well! Wha'd ya think?

All: . . . .

Author: C'mon. Be honest.

All: . . . .

Author: Veil. How'd you like it.

Veil: I think. . . .

Matti: I think it STUNK! . . . . . . HEY WAIT A MINUTE! Mr. Author, you said you weren't going to mention me in this chapter and you did! Ha ha!

(Suddenly a bolt of lightening hits the young mouse, making him all black and frizzled.)

Author: Well, Veil?

Veil: I think. . . .

Author: Yeeeeeeeeeees?

Veil: I think I better keep my mouth shut!

A/N: . . . .



(breaks down hysterically crying)


Well, it was fun while it lasted. I really enjoyed writing this, and I hope you all enjoyed this as well. And I hope that this last chapter wasn't TOO big a disappointment.

Well, see y'all around! Bye bye!