Between Heaven and Hell there is Earth
AN: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, but I do own this story and I am extremely protective about it. It falls under South African and International copy-right laws people, don't mess with the story. Enjoy!
Where are you? Sakura!
I was scrambling around like an idiot, searching of her. I could find nothing. I wasn't even able to feel the traces that portholes leave. It is if she had disappeared into thin air.
I sank down to the ground. All I could see was her blood, red droplets shining in the dull florescent lights. All I could focus on was her blood.
She is gone.
An ache suddenly clutched my heart.
She is gone.
She is gone.
No, she can't be gone. Not her. She's always been so strong and stubborn. She is too smart. She's too strong. She promised… She promised to stay with me. My eyes began to burn and an instant later I could feel two arms wrap themselves around my shoulders. I held onto Tomoyo and she held onto me. I could feel her warm tears fall from her cheeks onto my shoulder.
I could feel my own tears slipping down to the cold hard earth.
If I die…
I smiled. If I die, I'll see him again. One day I'll see him again. I'll see him in heaven. I'll be able to hold his hand again. I'll be able to talk to him again, long lengthy conversations about nothing important. He'll laugh with me and I will laugh with him. He'll hold me tight and…
And I'll finally tell him that I love him.
It was difficult to tare him away. He would not leave. All he did was stare at the few droplets of blood splattered on the ground. He did not want to leave. He kept saying that she'll be coming back. Any second now Sakura will be back. In the end I had to force him up and lead him away. I had to get him away before morning dawns and the rest of the A.E. arrive for work.
They will not be pleased. Their traitor angel has disappeared along with my best friend and their boss lay dead in the parking lot. Half his face was bashed in by a baseball bat I had found in an office and his insides were ripped apart by a bullet form Naoko's gun. Next to him was his tart, just as colourless and lifeless as him. He will no longer be able to harbour fantasies of immortality.
Those who did not die fled. Suddenly judgement day seemed very close at hand to them. Suddenly angels and demons became very real to them. Suddenly they gained humility for mortality.
We were sitting in the hospital, waiting. Eriol needs medical attention. When the nurses and doctors asked what had happened to them Naoko told them that Eriol had been mugged. That he just managed to call us in time. I don't know if they believed it, but they could not prove us wrong. Syaoran had blood on his hands and shirt, my school shirt was stained with Eriol's blood and you could smell gunpowder on Naoko if you sat really close to her.
We looked like a gang. I suppose we are a gang. A gang fighting for our and the rest of the world's right to an eternity. To an eternity of what? I suppose that is another question. An eternity of hell or an eternity of heaven. In the end you have to choose. In the end it is up to you to decide where you want to spend your time after your death.
I want to see Sakura again. I will be good form now on and pray and believe so I can go to heaven, because that is where she will be. I need to hear her soft caring voice talk me to sleep and I need to feel her warm loving hugs. I need to see her laugh. I need for him to laugh. I glanced at Syaoran. He too needs to see her again.
"Excuse me." I looked up at the nurse and she smiled down at us. "Mr Hiiragizawa is fine. He'll be out in a moment."
"Thank you." She nodded and disappeared. I looked at Naoko. "What happens now?"
"We go home and we try to move on. No matter how difficult it might be, we have to move on. Always…" I watched her as tears slowly started to slip from her eyes. "We need to hope and believe that all of what we did was not in vain, that the sacrifices made were not too high a price to pay and that how it all turned out is for the best."
"I killed, Tomoyo." Her voice was a whisper, a desperate whisper of turmoil. "I killed."
"Redemption." I glanced at Syaoran. He had finally lifted his face from his hands. His dark eyes no longer had that fire burning in them and his skin was pale. "Repent, beg for forgiveness and you shall be saved." Sakura's words echoed in his strong voice.
"Even if you've taken a life?"
"God does not favour between His children. No matter what you did, if you are truly sorry and if you really want to be forgiven He will save you. Sakura told me that." I smiled as I remembered her words. "Besides, what were you going to do, let them kill us? To be quite honest I'd rather it be them than me. I won't mind growing old and grey. It's going to be a bit lonely though… With out Sakura."
Syaoran's gaze was fixed on the tiled floor. For as long as he has lived he had known only hatred, violence and prosecution. That all changed when he met Sakura. She accepted him for what he was and for he is now. She knew what he was and still is, she knew what is capable of, yet she did not turn away from him or stopped loving him. Did they love one another from the very start? I doubt it. I think they stayed together out of tolerance and curiosity, and maybe because of me.
"Isn't there a verse somewhere in the Bible about God sending an angel ahead of a person to protect him or her?" I glanced at Naoko. Yes, I remember that. It was when…
"Kaihan. He killed his brother Able in an argument over land and was marked by God so that all who would know what he had done. But God also took pity on him. 'See, I am sending and angel ahead of you to guard you along the way', Exodus 23 verse 20. It means nothing now." I watched him stand up and walk away. He believed in it. He believed that Sakura was his angel. And now… And now she was taken from him.
Angles and demons, informants and humans… Who are we trying to kid? In the end we are all just pawns in a game of chess. White versus black, good versus evil. And where do I fit in? I don't know anymore. I used to be black, but now I find the taste bitter and unsatisfying. I'm not white either, I've been tainted with the black.
She was white. She was pure. She was my angel.
I always thought that I would get my change, just one chance. I wanted to taste her, the real her, raw and unspoilt. I wanted to feel her, just her soft skin on mine. I wanted to wake every morning with her by my side and to listen to her soft breathing as she slept. I wanted so badly to make her happy.
I won't see her in the after life, unlike them. I've been marked and made a slave to the contract I was born into. I cannot change my destination. No one can. I can just hope that I will be able to watch her. Even if it is from afar, I just want to be able to watch her laugh again. Just to see her… That would be enough for me.
"Syaoran." Soft fingers wrapped around my arm and I found Tomoyo smiling up at me. "Eriol is awake, we can take him home." Home? Where I my home? Is it the small grabby apartment I used to live in or the house if found myself not so long ago? Will it still be a home without her there?
I smiled at the informant as Tomoyo and Naoko helped him into a wheelchair. "I'm sorry Syaoran." His voice was a sudden comfort. He had lost many people in his life, a life that far outstretched my own.
The house was incredibly still. It seemed as if we had stepped into a void. Tomoyo led Eriol upstairs to a bedroom to rest and Naoko simply fell asleep on the couch. I watched her relive the night in her dreams. She often twitched and moaned and I wondered for how long she will be plagued by her nightmares.
"Wake up my little one. He misses you." Who? Who misses me? "Your love. He longs for you. Just listen. Listen to his heart."
…I would get my change I know him. …just one chance… taste her… raw… unspoilt... I've listened to his voice so many times before. …to feel her… just her... I've felt him in my dreams. …to wake every morning… I have seen him. by my side… to listen… as she slept... I wanted so badly to make her happy… I have seen him in my heat.
"Wake up little one, your love calls. You still need to taste the pleasures of the flesh and endure the greatness of the soul. Wake up little one. Wake up." My mind was numb. I could hear two voices talking constantly. I could hear a voice I have only known for a short time, urging me on, telling me to awaken. And I could hear another voice I have come to love whispering soft wishes.
He made me happy.
He is tall and lean. He has dark hair that refuses to bend to his will. He had large hands. He wears t-shirts with silly sculls printed on them. He wears jeans. He has a stubborn nose and wide mouth. He has dark eyes that burn gold.
I awoke with a start. My breathing was hard and rapid and my chest ached. When I tried to move I was gripped with pain. My stomach… I could feel warm blood seeping though my wound through my fingers. When I opened my eyes I was met by an unfamiliar sight. It is a place had never seen before. It was hot and uncomfortable, it was cold and stiff, it was dark and overly bright. I groaned as I pushed myself to sit up. The pain…
"Look who finally decided to wake up." I turned to find the source of the voice. It was the traitor. He was hanging form the wall, bound by chains. Stakes were hammered through his wings, pinning him to the sharp jagged rock.
"Don't you look attractive." I snapped at him and his mouth turned into a bitter sneer.
"You don't honestly believe that they will let you go, do you?"
"No." I've known this long enough. Why would a demon give up an angel that willing walks into his lair? Why would Lucifer give up on two souls when he could have all three? He won't, they won't… I've known it all along. "No I don't. That's why I have a contract." His sneer faltered as I pushed up my sleeve. He laughed.
"You call me a traitor? What a cheek when you have been walking around with that ghastly thing on your arm for all this time. They will all spit on you." I ignored him. "You'll be shunned by your own kind. You stupid little angel."
"You would know about that, wouldn't you?"
"Don't you dare judge me!"
"I don't judge Yukito." I staggered to my feet, on hand still clutching my stomach. It was painful to walk, but I managed it. My clean hand found the little paper in my pocket and I pushed it into his.
"What is this?"
"What you want it to be." I let out a small moan as I doubled over. It hurts so much. Behind me a door opened somewhere. Someone took hold of my shoulders and led me back to the stone carved bench I awoke upon.
"You should rest."
"My contract… I fulfilled my part of the obligation, he needs to do his part." I whispered.
"He will not go back on his word. But I need you, just for a moment." I looked up at the woman and was met with dark eyes that burned golden. "Save my son from this hell." I nodded in understanding. I will. I will, no matter what. I have.
Her hand brushed over my left arm and I screamed at the pain. If felt as if hot metal was being torn from my flesh. When I looked down at my arm I could see blood seeping through her hand and dripping down to the bench. "This world will never forget your love, Sakura Kinomoto."
"It is time to leave."
They say that time heals wounds. I can in all honesty say that time does help to heal, but sometimes the time needed is just too much. I have watched friends die and others leave, I had to leave those I love behind and have them move on. Life dictates that we move on. Time does not stand still. Yet when I look at him I wish it wasn't so.
He was no longer proud and arrogant. He was now a broken man, humble and small. The once great demon had withered away to become a man concerned with only his memories. His memories of her.
I watched him take a long drag from his cigarette. He's been sitting on that porch for hours now. Smoking, staring, but saying nothing. Every so often he would move in his seat and then freeze again. I fear that his lust for life is running out. People die of broken hearts… will he? I don't know. Only she ever knew how strong he really was.
He lit another cigarette.
"Will he be okay?" I looked at Tomoyo. It is as if she had grown in these past few days. She now longer had that over bearing childish charm, but rather and air of understanding and concern.
"I don't know." I kissed her brow softly. "It is for him to decide."
"We don't even have a body to burry."
"Perhaps it is better this way."
"She will go to heaven, won't she?"
"Yes." The child within her was crying for an explanation. She told me about her father. She had lost and now she had lost again. She was but a girl left to drift in a sea of turmoil and I was but the sail she could raise if she wanted to free herself. She was asking and answering. She was trying to work through her loss as she had done before. Will he be able to do the same?
He suddenly moved, jerked rather. His back arched and a second later I heard him scream. My eyes widened at the sight. His shirt frizzled away as if burned exposing his large tattoo and it was moving. I watched in shock as the chains anchoring a sword broke free before it slipped away with his blood – disappearing.
"Syaoran!" Tomoyo was next to him. "Syaoran! Oh my gosh! What happened? Syaoran." She was touching his shoulders, her fingers moving around, not sure where to rest. "Are you okay?"
"What does it look like?" His voice was course, a hiss or pain.
"My back, what does it look like?"
"Your sword has shifted, it is now an anchor. The black blood had dried up and the chains that bound you have been lifted." He looked at me, bleeding, breathing heavily… "You're free."
"Sakura." He closed his eyes and a moment later tears fell from them. "She said she had to do it on her own. She said that is was only something she could do…" He broke down, no longer able to contain the pain he held in side. He broke and wept.
Somewhere I could hear someone crying. I could hear his voice breaking as he wept. It did not sound right. It did not sound like a voice that should be crying. I remember it laughing and telling jokes, I remember it whispering sarcastic comments in my ear. I remember it promising never to leave me.
"This way."I followed the voice. It has been my companion all my life and my friend for but a few days. I trusted it and so I followed it. I followed it through the vast white space closer to a crack of colour. Closer to the weeping voice. "Through there."
"Will I see you again?"
"No my little one. You are strong enough now to go on your own."
"Thank you." I smiled at the shadow of a dragon with bright blue eyes and a warm golden heart. It nodded and urged me to move forward. I stepped through the crack and was instantly met with sound and colour. I stumbled through onto grass. I moaned. My stomach ached, my arm burned, but the grass smelled sweet and the air fresh. Slowly I walked towards them. Towards the people I love.
Eriol's eyes were fixed on me as I smiled weakly at him. Tomoyo had her arms wrapped around Syaoran as they wept. "You once told me I could choose." I tried to make my words come out strong, but the pain made them waver a bit. "I chose." I smiled when I met his eyes. Dark and filled with tears. "I chose you." They burned gold.
AN: Hello people! Story is finished. I can honestly say that I enjoyed writing this story very much. I'll even go so far as to say that I have a sequel in mind. Whether or not I'll write it is yet debatable. Thank you so much for reading, even if you didn't review. (I'm a lazy reviewer myself, so I won't hold it against you if you don't like reviewing.)
Thank you, for the last time, for your lovely reviews.