I am terrible. I subject my favorite characters, to most embarrassing things I can think up. And believe me, I can be embarrassing. I hope y'all enjoy this!
Disclaimer: I own nothing and 'The Three Amigos' belong to whoever sang it to begin with.
"Do you know what I've just realized, Prime?" Megatron asked, sipping a bottle of Energon.
"You're purple?" Optimus commented, chuckling. Vector Prime, Optimus and Megatron were out for a late night beer. Oh, the fight between both sides was far from over, but the fact of the matter was all three had felt the need to unwind. So, here they were, in some bar, in some region of space, drinking some Primus awful concoction of Energon and human liquor, and getting hammered. The difference was Optimus, when drunk, tended to become far funnier than his usual stoic personality would lead you to believe. Megatron and Vector Prime on the other hand, were more serious drunks, turning more philosophical until they were too drunk to care anymore. Then the singing started and that will be left until much later.
"What have you just realized?" Vector asked, downing a bottle in one breath and calling for another one.
"I'm getting old. I have positively no idea what the younger generations are even talking about, when they do talk!" Megatron said, Optimus and Vector Prime nodded sagely.
"And most of the time it sounds like some ancient language, I know exactly how you feel. Half the time I have no idea what Hotshot is saying, much less what it means!" Optimus said, finishing one beer and calling for another one as well.
"Even Starscream does it and he's only a year younger than I am! When will it end!" Megatron said, slamming his drink down.
"When our sparks extinguish, I assume." Vector said, Megatron snorted.
"Don't assume, Vector, always know." Megatron said, quoting one of his old drill sergeants.
"When did you three come in?" Red Alert asked, having been looking for his commander with Jetfire for hours.
"About... What was it, guys?" Megatron asked, looking at his drinking buddies. Optimus checked the chronometer on his comm link.
"About, oh, 10:00 from what I can tell. My watch says it's midnight. Whazzup, Red?" Optimus asked, peering at his old friend. Red Alert blinked, he'd certainly never been called that before and most definitely never by Optimus.
"You're needed back at base. You too, Vector Prime." Jetfire said carefully. Optimus laughed and a waved a hand at them.
"It'll wait until morning." Optimus turned his barstool back around and picked his drink back up. Jetfire was about to try again when Red Alert put a hand on his arm and shook his head.
"Leave them be." Red Alert said quietly as the three older bots returned to their drinks.
"But--" Jetfire protested. Vector Prime turned, cane in hand, and to the eternal amazement of Jetfire and Red Alert, began shaking it at them.
"Will you young bucks get out of here! By Primus, you two don't know when to listen to your elders! Out! Out, I say!" Vector Prime said, whacking poor Red Alert and Jetfire about the head and shoulders, chasing them out with cheers coming from Optimus and Megatron. Returning triumphantly to his seat, both Optimus and Megatron patted him heartily on the back. They finished their beers and were about to ask for more when the bartender turned them down.
"Sorry, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." the bartender said. Standing up, Megatron, Vector and Optimus swayed, in unison, out the door and down the street singing, so help me, 'The Three Amigos'.
One for each other and all for one
the Three brave Amigos are we
Brother to Brother and everyone
A brave amigo
Fighting for justice and liberty
where ever you find is where we will be
for the three brave amigos are we
"Some of us, anyway!" Megatron crowed as the three staggered down the street.
We are the three Amigos
We are the three Amigos
"We're only drinking buddies." Optimus cheerfully informed a passer-by. The bot nodded and took off in the opposite direction.
Over the mountains across the plains
the three brave amigos are we
Stamping out evil till none remains
the brave amigos
the three brave amigos
Where ever they meet us our destinys lead us
amigos we are always together
where ever we go we're three brave amigos
and we'll be amigos forever
"If we stamped out evil, we'd only be the two amigos!" Vector Prime laughed as the other two laughed with him.
'We are the three Amigos' sang Optimus.
'We are the three Amigos' sang Megatron.
'We are the three Amigos' sang Vector.
All three stood close together for the last line of the song.
'and amigos forever we'll be' they sang in unison, smiled at each other and promptly fell over backwards and proceeded to snore quite loudly.
"Um, Red Alert." Jetfire said, tapping his friend on the shoulder. Turning and looking where the cargo plane was pointing, Red Alert heaved a sigh.
"I suppose we should pick them up." Red Alert said, walking over to stand over the three unconscious bots, snoring happily.
"I'm not picking Megatron up, let one of his Decepticon cronies do it." Jetfire pronounced. Red Alert sighed again.
"Yes, I thought you might say that." Red Alert turned on his comm and punched into a Decepticon frequency, Starscream answered.
"We're busy, Autobrat. Make it fast." Starscream snapped, typing as he talked.
"Looking for Megatron?" Red Alert asked. Looking at him suspiciously, the Seeker only nodded once. Smirking for the first time that night, Red Alert pointed his comm at the three bots. Starscream heaved a sigh much like Red Alert had.
"Ah, he does this every once and a great while. When it gets to be too much I suppose. I'll be right there." the Decepticon said and cut the connection. Sure enough, the sound of three jet engines hummed in the distance, steadily getting closer. Transforming and raising a hand for the others to wait for him, Starscream landed by the Medic and Flyer, looking at the prone forms of their respective leaders.
"I'd say we could put them in an embarrassing position, but that would be too cruel, even for me." Starscream said, looking at the other two. Silently nodding, the three subordinates considered what to do with their commanders.
"Well, then lets agree that when they wake up, we'll do whatever we can to make them think twice about drinking again, so we don't have to do this again." Red Alert suggested. This was enthusiastically greeted and accepted by Jetfire and Starscream, who waited until Red Alert and Jetfire had Optimus and Vector Prime a certain distance away before calling Thundercracker and Skywarp to help with Megatron. As they parted ways, all three lieutenants silently agreed that their commanders would never hear of this pact, but they would pay hell in the morning.
Fighting consciousness tooth, nail and willpower, Megatron woke to find bright sunshine streaming in the window and Starscream enthusiastically telling him good morning.
"Starscream," Megatron said, laying an arm across his optics to block out the light. "Stop talking." he ordered, only to have it disobeyed. Normally, he would have punished Starscream, but a serious headache was preventing him from even trying to move anything other than his arm.
"Don't you want to hear my report?" The Seeker asked far too cheerfully. Megatron groaned as Starscream started to give his long report, verbally...
----------------------Optimus and Vector Prime--------------------
Optimus wasn't having a much better morning, true he'd made it out of bed, but was now wishing with all his might to be back in bed. Away from Bud and his piercing, hasn't-broken-because-he-hasn't-reached-puberty-yet voice. The only thing that comforted him was that Vector Prime seemed to have more of a headache than he did.
And everytime Optimus or Vector Prime winced, Red Alert and Jetfire grinned at each other. Revenge was a beautiful thing.