I was feeling unloved because I updated all of my other fics yet no-one really reviewed that much... and I have an odd obsession with Hidan and have irresistible urges to write about him... and I've just noticed that he's one of the few that Hinata hadn't been excessively paired up with yet... so lo and behold. Hidan/Hinata is, as Ésme Squalor puts it, in.

Note: In this fic, Hinata is 15, Hidan is 22, and EVERYONE knows about Akatsuki XDD

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Nor do I own A Series of Unfortunate Events. I do, however, own the Unnamed Member's personality, which I gave him, (and yes, he's a medic nin, for every organization needs one!!) and you saw said member being called 'Tum' here first. I own that.

Warnings: Indecisive writing style, profanity, mature content, and slight OOCness ahead.


"Who are you? I can see you're there! Please come out!"

Hinata bit her lip and trembled, kunai ready, clutching her bed covers. On second thought...

"And... and please don't hurt me!" she added.

There was a soft rippling sound of cloth against ground and wall, and a figure with ghostly silver hair donning a pitch-black cloak adorned with red clouds shuffled out of the shadowy corner of her bedroom.

Hinata gasped. The cloak... he was... part of... the Akatsuki...!?

"Hey, hey... I'm not going to fucking hurt you," said the figure quickly, lifting its head to face her. "You're a Hyuuga right? Yeah, I see the eyes. Perfect."

Hinata had one glimpse of the person's pale, crystal-like magenta eyes before he slipped behind her and knocked her out.

Mentally slapping herself, Hinata wondered why she didn't just scream and wake the whole Hyuuga clan.


Hinata stirred, and opened her eyes.

"Where... where am I?" she croaked.

"Akatsuki Headquarters, little bitch. Glad to see I didn't kill you by running back here and jostling you around. You look awfully delicate."

Hinata was at a loss for words as she stared at the figure beside her. He was the same person that was in her room, all right... same slicked back silver hair, same piercing eyes... same devilishly handsome face.

"I... delicate... you... uh..."

"Knew you were the shy and weak type, lil' bitch."

"Sir... um... what's your name?"

"Suppose it wouldn't hurt letting you know. I'm in all the Bingo books already anyway. It's Hidan, you little bitch. Remember that. And for Jashin-sama's sake, don't be so fucking polite -it creeps me out. You're a fucking hostage right now, you know that?"

Hinata started to cry.


Aw fuck... I thought she was weak, but not that sensitive... shit.

I stepped back in distaste as the porcelain figure in front of me began to sob and blubber. Fucking females. What the hell was their problem? I only told her she was a fucking hostage... maybe it's all that cussing that's getting to her. Oh, what the hell, I don't care.

"Hey, uh... stop your blubbering already, you little bitch... it offends me..."

The girl's sobs slowed, but they didn't completely disappear, and that bothered me. A lot.

"Shut up, what's-your-face!" I yelled at her.

She immediately sobered up and looked up at me, not entirely locking eyes, but staring slightly to the left of my shoulder. "My name's Hinata..." she whispered, looking down again as if telling me her name was doing me some personal wrong. Oh, Jashin-sama, help the little bitch.

"You need to fucking get some confidence, seriously," I told her bluntly.

I guess I was rather harsh with my tone or something, cause she started crying again.

"Aw, fuck... do me a favour and never cry in my presence again..." I groaned, stomping over and hitting her upside the head. "It really fucking bothers me, bitch. Seriously."

"Go-gomen-nasai... H-Hidan-san..." she muttered.

I rolled my eyes. Damn this was going to take long.

I just wish her father would pay up the ransom quickly, damn it!


A few days later, Hinata was still residing in the Headquarters. Her sobs had ceased, and other people she had glimpsed in the bingo books had come along to check on her every once in a while. Hidan, being in charge of her, apparently, never left her side unless he was called off by someone they referred to as 'Leader-sama' (and even then someone called Tobi with a swirly orange mask would come in to accompany her), or if he went to get food for her -he even escorted her to the washroom.

Those times were really awkward.

But let's not talk about them.

Every passing day, Hinata grew more and more saddened. Wasn't otousan going to pay the ransom soon? She was getting scared here, what with the whispers of ruthless murders they had committed, and the murmurs of how the sealing of the Biju was done. It sounded painful for the Jinchuuriki.

Four days after Hinata was captured, Tobi came rushing in with a letter in his hand. It had been delivered via bird, and Hidan's brow furrowed in distaste as he read it.

Eyes flashing, he turned to Hinata.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell us that your fucking asswipe of a father wouldn't fucking pay ransoms, you little bitch!?"

Hinata's blood froze.


JASHIN-SAMA DAMN THIS BITCH TO HELL!! CONDEMN HER TO A LIFETIME OF MISERY!!

I was angry. REALLY angry. The goddamn son-of-a-bitch that was this godforsaken child's father wouldn't fucking pay the ransom? Even if it meant that Hinata wouldn't be released back to them? WHAT KIND OF FATHER WAS HE!?

Akatsuki,

I will not pay the ransom.

Hyuuga Hiashi

DAMN THAT MOTHERFUCKER TO HEEEEEEELLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hinata's next five days were spent crying in her circular room.

She understands why, of-course, her father didn't pay the ransom. It was so obvious to Hinata -her father didn't care. He was probably ecstatic that the Hyuuga clan wouldn't end up in her weak, fragile hands. Hinata could picture it even now, her father reading the ransom note and his face lighting up in happiness.

It didn't make her feel any better. In fact, it made everything worse.

She had become a Chuunin, hadn't she? Was that not an accomplishment?

"But Neji-ni-san is a Jounin..."

And then Hinata would feel fresh tears well up in her eyes and pour over her cheeks, mingling and intertwining with her old tears.

There is nothing like the pain of being given up on.


"Stop blubbering already. You haven't eaten for five days. Just because your father won't take you back, doesn't mean you're going to be useless."

Hinata looked up at Hidan, who was looking down at her with disgust. She noted the lack of profanity. That could either mean he really meant it, or he didn't really mean it at all.

"How... how can I not?" whispered Hinata, wiping her tears with her sleeve so she could look even a little more presentable. "My father has abandoned me and given up on me..."

"So? Be useful to the Akatsuki," said Hidan.

"How?" asked Hinata, shocked.

Hidan smirked and retrieved a box of tissues, a mop, a pail, a duster, a broom, a pan, and a gray smock from a broom cupboard and shoved them at the bewildered girl.

"You're Akatsuki's new cleaning maid, little bitch. Jashin-sama knows we need one, seriously..."


Weeks had passed. Hinata had not heard from Konoha since her father's first letter declaring his refusal of paying the ransom. A lump formed in her throat whenever she remembered this, but the pain was dulling now. It was done, and Hinata realized that she would be spending the rest of her lifetime with these Akatsuki... dare she say... freaks.

No, really, they were creepy. From that guy that looks frighteningly like a male version of a mentally retarded Ino, to the man that looked like a plant. They were a cluster of freaks.

They were going to have to be what she thought of when the word 'family' is mentioned.

And Hinata resented them for that fact.

Yeah, sure, she was technically their maid, but she was answering to their every call beck and call, and it started to seem like she was a servant. Wait, no, she didn't get paid. She was their slave, but really, they treated her like an adopted daughter and they were as kindly as one could expect from them at this stage.

Which was... they didn't abuse her.

Yet.


Poor little bitch. Her own father doesn't want her.

Hidan found himself thinking those two sentences over and over whenever he was unoccupied and was lounging around HQ lazily. It was pretty sad, actually, that she was that much of an optional asset to her clan. He asked her who would acquire the clan now, since she was the heiress and all. She had replied that she didn't know.

Hidan knows that she knows -she just doesn't tell.

Nobody had been able to squeeze more than 10 words out of her a day -not that anyone tried hard, mind you- and it began to bother Hidan that someone could say so little in a day. It was probably unhealthy or something to keep so quiet and anti-social, especially when what little you say is laced with envy and sadness.

Oh well.

Wasn't his problem.


"Hidan, what do you plan on doing with the Hyuuga girl?"
"I seriously dunno, Leader-sama. Got any suggestions?"
"Well, whatever you come up with, be sure to squeeze out every drop of money you can."
"Again with fucking money!! Is this whole organization's best interest little pieces of paper with dollar signs!? Seriously!!"
"It's the whole world's best interest."
"Screw the world."
Hinata had begun cooking for the Akatsuki.

She had began to accept the fact that, no, father was not going to have a sudden change of heart and pay up the ransom...

...and so, no, she was not going back to Konoha unless the Akatsuki allowed it...

...and finally, no, Akatsuki was not going to release her to Konoha until her father paid the ransom, leaving us back at square one.

Realizing she wasn't getting anywhere with the status quo anyhow, Hinata had decided to attempt to settle down with the Akatsuki and be helpful around their headquarters. It was harder than it sounded.

Face it. One of the most difficult things in life is to be forced into a secret organization with S-class criminals around every corner, and attempting to settle down with them when no-one notices you very much and you're kind of like a fifth wheel, and are trying, and failing horribly, to fit in.

For example: although Hinata had been given her own room, she still felt out of place. That's pretty sad.

And then, you'd think that, given the amount of men in Akatsuki, they would notice such a polite, pretty porcelain doll like Hinata. You'd think that at least half of them would be turned on, since it's not like they see many females that don't try to a) escape from them or b) kill them.

You'd think they'd notice a girl in the presence of so many men, especially if said girl is constantly in their wake, cleaning, cooking, and doing everything she could to oblige them. And you'd think that they'd like the change from loudmouth bitches on the battlefield to the shy, soft-spoken girl at home.

You'd think that a nice, gentle soul like Hinata would be the target of seduction, and the young woman would be who they, S-class criminals, take advantage of. You'd think at least a few would want to get into her pants and, at the very least, have intentions of turning her into their sex slave.

Alas, the world of Akatsuki doesn't work that way.

Hinata's delicacies were guzzled, devoured, and wiped off their mouths with the back of their hands without the slightest trace of a 'thank you' or a hint of gratitude. It was as if it Hinata was born to serve them in such a way, and that it was expected. She could not possibly want a smile in return.

No one in Akatsuki was thankful.

Only Tobi, the 'good boy', ever said a soft 'arigatou' when Hinata served meals. But then, Tobi didn't really count, since Asuma's more Akatsuki than him. Nonetheless, Tobi's gratitude was met with a shy smile from Hinata, who softly whispered 'you're welcome' back to show her gratitude of his gratitude.

In fact, Tobi had become Hinata's friend more than anyone. She spent little time with him, yet he was the light of her day. Tobi had friendship and compassion in him, traits Hinata found the rest of Akatsuki sorely lacked.

Hinata began to subconsciously like Tobi.


She's good friends with Tobi, huh? The "good boy" of Akatsuki?

I grimaced. Hinata was my charge, and I had begun to think of her as my subordinate. Since when did she gain permission to get familiar with other Akatsuki members? Tch... she's my responsibility, and I'm going to be responsible for her until the very end.

Really, it's obvious. Tobi's only friends with her because when she does anything significant, he'll be acknowledged as her 'moral support', but everyone'll forget that I'm the one who brought her here in the first place for ransom. But if she does something wrong Tobi'll shove her back in my face and I'll have to bear the shame and burden.

...ZOMG... I need to regain possession of her before that could happen...!!


Hinata was very shocked and surprised. She nearly dropped his food.

"What!?!??" asked Hidan angrily, looking annoyed. "I only said, thank you! Am I not allowed, you asshole?"

"N-no!! It's... I... I... I didn't e-expect it..." mumbled Hinata hurriedly placing Hidan's food in front of him and making a mad dash for the bathroom.

It was lucky that Hidan had decided to sit at the end of the table farthest away from the kitchen, but closest to the bathroom. He had been the last one she served.

Why was she feeling this way?

Suddenly, Hinata recalled a conversation with Ino.

"Ino-chan... who killed your sensei?"
"He was part of the Akatsuki... his name was Hidan..."
"Oh... what did he look like?"
"..."
"Ino-chan?"
"He was... hot..."
"...!?"

Hinata looked up at the mirror to confirm her face colour.

Yup. It was as bright as a pink Christmas light.


Maybe I shouldn't try to own the Hyuuga anymore... at least not when Deidara's around...

My eye twitched as Deidara continued to point at me and joke about how "ooooooh!!! Hinata-chan liiiiiiiiiiikes you, un!" and was laughing his ass off even though no-one was joining him except for Tum, (The Unnamed Member) who was chuckling slightly. Jashin-sama... they took it entirely the wrong way...

I raised my eyes from the sushi on my plate to Deidara's face and forced a smile.

"Aw... Deidei-chan! You know, that's great! I like her too!!"

Deidara immediately stopped laughing and glared at me instead.

"Don't you dare call me that again, yeah."

Tum gaped at me.

"... you serious?"

My eye twitched madly. This is why Tum never wins against me. At all. He's dumber than a piece of driftwood. If he didn't know Leader-sama's identity and everything about the organization, I bet Tum would be booted out of Akatsuki without a second thought.

"OF-COURSE NOT YOU FUCK!!"

"Hidan, please refrain from using profanity at the dinner table," sighed Zetsu's white side of his face.

"Hell, let 'im cuss all he wants. It's not affecting me," countered Zetsu's black side of his face.

"Zetsu, for everyone's sake, stop arguing with yourself," groaned Kisame, stabbing his humungo veggie roll and downing it in one. That guy's appetite had always surprised me. No wonder he has all that chakra. If anyone eats that much they'd have a damn lot of chakra.

The black side of Zetsu's face began an argument with Kisame, while the white side sighed and continued to eat. I grunted in disgust and turned back to my food.

Then I realized something, and I immediately looked back up. I knew it! That damn scheming fruitcake! He was planning something to do with Hinata. Well, hell will screw Satan over when Hinata's in his clutches as a claim to fame.

Perhaps my observation was a paranoid one. But hey, a guy has his pride and wants his rightful possessions, right? In any case...

Tobi had been suspiciously silent through the whole ordeal.


She was avoiding him.

Hidan knew it, Deidara knew it, Tobi knew it, Kisame knew it, Itachi knew it, Kakuzu knew it, Leader-sama knew it, Zetsu knew it, even Tum knew it.

No one did anything about it, for about another month.

Until Hidan realized that his Hyuuga Hinata unit would be slipping from his hands and right into Tobi's. Now, Hidan wasn't going to take that lying down, not when he was solely responsible for bringing her here for her services.

Granted, he kidnapped her first for the money (Kakuzu was rubbing off on him!! Oh no! ...actually, Leader-sama told him to do it) but even though the money wasn't in their hands now, it would soon be, when Hinata matures more and gets attractive enough, he'd...

Hidan chuckled as he headed towards the room marked 'Hyuuga Hinata'.

Time to do some acting.


"Hey," drawled a voice.

Hinata spun around from putting her hair into a ponytail. She did so everyday now, using a strip of cloth from her smock to act as a ribbon. It was rather annoying to have to do this everyday, but she was certain that if a single strand of hair accidentally found its way into some food -

Hinata would not like to think about it, thank you very much. She has enough on her hands as is. The man who was causing her to feel short of breath whenever he was around, was in her room, seeing her clad in pajamas.

Needless to say, Hinata's face turned the familiar tomato red.

"Isn't it annoying to put your hair up into a ponytail everyday? Seriously..." asked Hidan, as he plopped onto her bed.

"A-ano... y-yes..."

Hinata bit her lip and turned back to the task at hand -tying her makeshift hair ribbon around her midnight locks.

"Here, let me help you."

Hinata held her breath as Hidan got off her bed and approached her. Was he really going to help her put her hair up in a ponytail? It seemed strange for a person like Hidan to be caring about lil' ol' Hinata so much.

Hinata's face turned even redder.

Hidan took her hair in his left hand and her ribbon in his right. Frowning, he yanked it gently, as if to see if it was really Hinata's hair, or if it was a wig.

Then, without warning, he ditched the ribbon and, snatching a kunai from Hinata's table, cut it all off.

Hinata gasped and spun around as the strands of her hair drifted softly onto the ground. On Hidan's face was an expression of mild innocent bewilderment.

"I said I'd help you, didn't I?" he said." Isn't that helpful? Now you don't have to struggle to tie up your hair anymore. You just have to brush it when you get up. Or you don't have to brush it at all. That's fine with me."

Hinata was at a loss for words.

"What?" asked Hidan. "There isn't anything wrong with short hair! I think it looks good on you."

Hinata was at an even larger loss for words.

Seeing that Hinata wasn't about to reply, Hidan replaced her kunai and moved towards the door. As he was about to turn the doorknob, he turned back to Hinata, quirking an amused eyebrow at her immobilized form.

As soon as Hidan had left, Hinata sank onto her bed.

Did Hidan just compliment her?

And then, she realized something else.

During his whole visit, Hidan didn't utter one swear word.

Now that was scary.


Pat yourself on the back for that one, Hidan.

I was stretched on the couch in front of the TV, flipping through the channels. After harassing Hinata like that, it might give her the message that she was in my possession, and that everything I say, goes...

It was risky, of-course, cutting off all of her hair and making it short. Girls can get incredibly pesky about hair and turn into a monster if a hair cut goes wrong, you know, but I'd risk it. And really, it was Hinata. What would she do?

I chuckled.

What could she do?


"Tobi-kun... I really don't know what to think... I still like Naruto-kun a lot... but I like Hidan-san now too..."

Tobi put his hand on Hinata's shoulder in a comforting way, all the while feeling jealousy grip his insides.

"It's... it's going to be alright, Hinata-chan. I know it will!"

Hinata smiled at Tobi.

"Thanks, Tobi-kun. You're a really nice person," she told him. "No-one else in Akatsuki is this kind."

"Ah... Hinata-chan... you're really kind too," replied Tobi, blushing slightly behind his mask.

They sat in companionable silence for a few moments, watching an episode of FMA on DVD. Finally, Hinata spoke again.

"Tobi-kun... you're a really good friend."

Tobi felt saddened.

"...thank you, Hinata-chan."

He really wanted to be more than that.


Jealousy is a strange emotion.

It's a mix of love and hate, a clashing of opposites that makes our hearts want to burst because of all the anger swirling inside, yet we try to keep it all in for he sake of the one we love. Like Kyuubi's chakra does Naruto, jealousy envelopes our very being when we draw on this emotion. It comes out involuntarily, and on the inside, you instantly become an uncontrollable beast, and you try hard -so very hard- to quell your fury.

Some simply cannot contain this horrid emotion -this diabolic feeling- inside of them, and they let the jealousy pour forth. Anger overcomes love, and they spill to the world their agony and suffering. Perhaps their pain will not be apparent, but it will be known.

Some, like Tobi, practice superior self-control and respect for the ones they are jealous of, and the world may never know of the internal battle within. Their love overwhelms their anger, and they keep quiet for their loved ones' happiness. Their strife is never acknowledged.

Both sorts of people are respectable and brave persons in their own right.

But only the former stands a chance with the one they love.

Usually.


During the next few months of Hinata's stay, Hidan kept at his antics, his actions silently whispering: You're mine.

The 'harassments' were carefully spaced, of-course. They couldn't be too close together, nor could they be too far apart. They also needed to seem random, so it wouldn't look like he planned them. That would be bad. It would seem like he was attracted to her or something.

Actually, these 'harassments' were becoming quite fun. An 'accidental' brush of his hand against hers, calling for her to clean the dining table because she 'missed' a spot after breakfast/lunch/dinner. (especially if she was socializing with Tobi) These things and more brought flushed colour to her pale cheeks, and Hidan began to live for seeing Hinata's cheeks tint pink, and then laughing silently to himself on the inside.

One day, while Hidan was watching Bleach on TV with Deidara, Deidara suddenly grinned slyly and prodded Hidan's shoulder.

"What?" muttered Hidan. He was just getting pumped for the big fight up next after the commercials.

"You're... uh... girlfriend is coming," snickered Deidara, pointing to the dining room, where Hinata was discarding her smock. "Do you want me to move to make room for her, un?"

"...wha?"

"Oh come on... you've been flirting with her the past few months, yeah," said Deidara, rolling his eyes. "She is kinda cute, right? Yeah?"

"I- what the fuck? Of-course not! That's not what it's about!"

Deidara doubled over in silent laughter. "Denial is always the first step towards acceptance, un!" he chortled. "Oh Hid-"

"Eh... ano... c-can I sit h-here, D-Deidara-san?"

Deidara stopped laughing and grinned up at Hinata.

"Yeah, of-course you can sit next to your sweetie Hidan," cooed Deidara. "I'll move to the armchair, un."

Hinata's face turned a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as my dear friend sakata, it is most risky for me to put this letter in this story. hopefully the readers will be immensely bored by my tedious description of hinata's face colour and immediately skip to the next paragraph. please excuse the lack of capitals. it is a necessary maneuver, for if readers notice an upper case in, seemingly, one sentence; they'd look into it even more. anyway, i'd like to warn you here about the quagmire, snicket, and baudelaire files, which survived the fire at the last safe place. a certain young man with red, black, and yellow hair will have the aforementioned documents tucked into his suitcase and will arrive at your apartment on a date i cannot specify. however, it should be easy for you to remember shikamaru's birthday with the times ten formula. with love, violet a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as a whole new red that was so purely red that it could only be described as... alright, I'll shut up now.

"Dei-Deidara-san! Wha-!?"

"Just ignore him, seriously," growled Hidan. "He's high on whatever Zetsu was dealing him."

"Hey, I do not do drugs, yeah!"

Hidan rolled his eyes and patted the seat beside him while crossing his legs, like a man though, of-course, indicating that Hinata was to sit herself there. Awkwardly, Hinata did so, and crossed her legs as well, but like a lady, of-course.

"Loooove is in the aiiiiiir," sang Deidara. "The sooo in synch, un!"

For that, Deidara earned a few whacks upside the head, and Hinata's face turned very, very red.


Years passed, and Hidan's little 'harassments' continued. To both, they were constant reminders that Hinata belonged to Hidan. For Hidan, it meant she was his possession, like an addition to a collection. For Hinata, it meant far more, and it seemed that he was interested in her.

However one wished to interpret Hidan's antics -his way or her way- the bottom line was the same: he was protective; she was his and no-one (namely Tobi) was to even look at her with want in their eyes.


Throughout the years, Hinata grew more and more attached to the religious man. She was ever so aware of their age span, yet unable to control the emotion she felt, and she was almost sure Hidan felt that way as well. What else did -could- the touches and protective attitude represent? She was wrong, of-course -at least at this stage of the story.
When she had met him, he was 22.

Now, he was 27.

His hair had been kept at the same length, for it wouldn't work any other length anyway. The face never got thinner, didn't grow fuller than it was, it remained the same. The only change was that his pale magenta eyes were a darker shade of purple now. They could not be described as magenta anymore. Instead, Hinata thought of them as violet, covered by a pale pink layer.

She had forgotten about Naruto-kun sooner than she expected herself to.


Throughout the years, Hidan grew fonder of the delicate Hyuuga girl. He was aware of their relationship -possession and possessor- yet, he experienced what it was like to have a teacher's pet. He was the teacher and she was the pet, and he was sure that she was proud and happy to be his favourite among everyone else in the Akatsuki, had they been his possessions as well. He was wrong, of-course, about how she felt.
When he had kidnapped her, she was merely 15.

Now, she was 20.

After he had hacked off her lovely locks of old, she had kept the short hair, and he was happy about that -because Hinata's face deserved short hair, however strange that sounded. If it were any other length, it'd look weird. Her eyes and features remained the same as well, although her face had thinned slightly, and she no longer had the cutesy baby face. The only significant change was that her curves became smoother and more lady-like, instead of awkward-teen-curves.


Why, the time to use her had come quicker than I expected. I should propose his idea to Leader-sama soon.

The idea's harsh, but really, Leader-sama told me to extract money, and that's what I'll do.


"Hidan, are you sure we should use her this way?"
"Why are you so fucking hesitant, Leader-sama?"
"Well, for one, I thought you loved her."
"What gave you that idea?"
"Your protectiveness."
"You guys take EVERYTHING the fucking wrong way!!"
"Second, she's turned out to be quite a cleaning maid."
"She... has?"
"Thirdly, she's keeping all the men in here straight."
"... now that was uncalled for."
"She does."
"Fine, I'll think about it."
"You don't need to. We're not going to sell her as a prostitute."
"That final?"
"Everything I say is always final."
"That's fucked up."


After the little chat with Leader-sama, Hidan kept a sharp(er) eye out for some of the other members. Indeed, Hinata seemed to keep most the men in Akatsuki straight.

Kisame was undeniably interested, but Hidan hazarded a guess that Hinata didn't go for fishies. Itachi, surprisingly, wasn't exactly interested, but was treating her more like he would his imouto, (little sister) buying/stealing ice cream and playing tennis with her. Deidara and Tum were jokingly flirting with her, although sometimes, Deidara's touches were a little more intimate than playful.

Tobi's interest, of-course, was established long ago. Even the anti-social pricks, Kakuzu and Zetsu, seemed to soften their harsh tones when Hinata was around.

Remember what I said before about Hinata not getting enough attention? Scratch that whole part.

Hinata's loved.

By way too many for Hidan's comfort.


"Hinata, come over here for a second."
"H-Hai, Hidan-san!"

Hidan contemplated how to say what he was about to blurt, couldn't find another way to say it, and decided on the harsh reality.

"Hinata, I'm forbidding you to talk to anyone but me."
"...!?"


The next time she sees him, he's in the dining room, munching on blood-replenishing herbs. She assumes that he had just finished his rituals, and feels uncomfortable confronting him, for every time he completes said rituals, he becomes incredibly crabby and is easier to annoy than usual. Nevertheless, it's a necessary thing, and she needs to know.

"Hidan-san?"
"What the fuck do you want now?"

She winces. See what the authoress means by crabby?

"I... I was wondering why you forbid me from talking to everyone else. It makes me feel really uncomfortable and awkward..."

Hidan turns and he stares at her with a piercing glare. For the second time in less than a minute, Hinata winces. When he speaks, his voice is laced with surprise, and it has a cold edge to it.

"That's the most fucking obvious thing in the world. You're mine and only mine, you're socializing too much for my own fucking comfort, so I forbid you to talk to them. Understand, Hinata?"

Hinata is stunned. There is selfishness in that sentence. There are also traces of tough love and protection mixed in, because she notices he doesn't call her little bitch. He's indecisive, she realizes. He's indecisive about his feelings, if he still thinks of her as a possession, or if he is starting to feel more emotion than favoritism. And for that, she is stunned.

She was so sure that he felt for her. She realizes that it is her own imagination playing tricks on her, and no, he doesn't love her. Not before, not now, perhaps later, but not now. And for that, she feels foolish.

And she starts to cry.


Tobi heard sobbing from the dining room, and he decided to investigate. He goes in, and what does he find but Hinata-chan standing beside Hidan-sempai, crying her eyes out while Hidan holds a handful of herbs, staring at her with an awkward look on his face.

"Hinata-chan?" Tobi whispers.

Hinata spins around, and he sees that she's burying her face in her hands to try and wipe the tears away, peeking over the top of her sleeve. But he also sees that the tears are coming wave upon wave, uncontrollably. Before he knows what he's doing, he was at Hinata's side, holding her heaving shoulders as she continues to sob.

Tobi is about to start comforting her, to sooth her with words, but before he knows what happens, he's flat on his stomach, and Hidan-sempai's foot is grinding into his spine. The herbs Hidan were holding were spiraling down towards the earth in front of Tobi's face, and he lets out a yell as Hidan's foot, showing no mercy to his back, continues its torture. There is a loud cracking sound as Hidan grabs Tobi's legs in one smooth motion, bending them over backwards while stepping harder than ever on the younger man's back, and Tobi's back hyperflexed.

"You ask before touching my stuff, Tobi-kun."

Tobi continues screaming in pain.

"Holy shit Hidan!"

Deidara and Tum are in the doorway, staring in horror at the screaming Tobi, and through his yells, Tobi feels gratitude for the two sempai at the door.

"Hidan, stop that!"

Deidara tackles Hidan. He knocks the man over, breaking his grip on Tobi and slamming him into the bathroom door. The door gives way to their weight and they tumble into the WC. There is a loud thump as they collide with the bath, and after Deidara scrambles off Hidan, he sees a trickle of blood running down the cultist's face and it runs into his hair, tinting the silvery strands crimson.

"Oh my... I think he'll be unconscious for now, un..." whispered Deidara as he backed away to the door.

During the time Deidara was in the washroom, Tum had healed Tobi's back, and the latter was now sitting up, thanking the former profusely. Deidara's brow furrowed as he struggled to understand Hidan's new extreme behaviour. He then looks up from Tobi and Tum and sees a traumatized Hinata slumped on one of the chairs.

Despite what had happened, Deidara smirks, for he now understands perfectly.


He was avoiding her.

Hinata knew it, Deidara knew it, Tobi knew it, Kisame knew it, Itachi knew it, Kakuzu knew it, Leader-sama knew it, Zetsu knew it, even Tum knew it.

Hinata didn't understand why he was slipping away from her like that. She didn't blame him for her current heartache, and she told him that. Yet, he seemed to become more and more withdrawn every passing day, and the humor level in Akatsuki headquarters nose-dived.

The only times she would see him was at mealtimes, where he would mutter a string of profanity mixed in with a prayer when she approached, as if she was some demon he needed both to curse and pray to God that she would stay the fucking hell away. She caught fleeting glimpses of his back when he hurried away from the room when she entered it as well, and this saddened her to see Hidan near running away from her.

She also noticed that, excluding his flurry of swear words, prayers, and mumbles during rituals, that he said about 20 words a day. It was probably unhealthy to say so little, she realized, especially when what minute amount you say is heavily burdened with guilt and self-hatred.

Hinata decided to try and help him.

...but how?


Meanwhile, after all these years, in Konoha, Hyuuga Hiashi had been K.I.A., and now, his daughter, Hyuuga Hanabi rose to the Hyuuga throne.

At the celebration, she was asked to tell the clan her one wish.

Looking down at all the people assembled before her, Hyuuga Hanabi took a deep breath and made one simple, but complicated request.

"I want Hinata back from Akatsuki."

A hush fell over the crowd as they stared back at the new Hyuuga Clan Head. Some looks were confused, as they were too young to know who the heck Hinata even was. Most were disapproving, disbelief spreading across their faces. One was happy.

"Yes," said that one happy person. "I believe that Hanabi-sama is right. We should pay the ransom given to us by Akatsuki and retrieve Hinata."

Hanabi smiled down at her favourite cousin.

"Of-course, Neji-ni-san. Of-course."


"Hey, Hidan, did you know? Hinata's clan finally paid the ransom, un. They're going to pick her up at Konoha, yeah."
"...I'll escort Hinata to Konoha."
"I was going to-"
"I'm fucking escorting Hinata to Konoha, Deidara."
"Well... alright... it's next week, yeah."
Hidan was one very confusing man.

For the past month, he had been avoiding her at all costs; yet now, he had volunteered to walk her to the outskirts of Konoha. It was awkward for both of them, Hinata didn't know what to say or do, and even when they stopped in a small cabin no one was using to rest for the night, neither had spoken a word.

Very awkward indeed.


"Hidan-san? What are you doing?"

Cold, violet eyes specked with pink stared into the warm vanilla orbs of the person the former was currently straddling. The latter gripped the bed sheets tightly, her heart racing.

"Hinata... I'm confused. Just let me do this, okay? I'll feel better."
"...okay..."


Hours later, a certain man walks out to the living room of a certain cabin. He sits on the couch, his breathing hard, face buried in his hands. The shoulder-length silver hair on his head is slightly tousled and dishevelled, and his eyes are closed, and he doesn't feel better at all.

A certain young woman resides in the same cabin, but she is in the bedroom. Her thoughts are racing in her head, and her heart is thumping wildly in her chest. Her short, dark blue locks are slightly tangled, and her eyes are wide, wide, open, she doesn't feel good.


He wakes her up right before dawn, and they continue their trek, eyes avoiding the other pair. It is a relief, slightly tainted by sadness, when they finally arrive at Konoha.

After 5 years, she is finally returned.

Hinata is greeted warmly with a hug from a woman with wavy black hair and blood red eyes. The woman glares at Hidan, and he assumes that this is Kurenai, who hates him because she was Asuma's lover or something.

Behind her are a few more people. Two Hyuuga clan members, one presumably the head, and the other his servant or something. Hidan recognizes an Aburame and an Inuzuka. They seemed relieved to see Hinata again. There is also a Chinese-looking girl with her hair in buns, holding the hand of the Hyuuga head. And-

And there is Shikamaru.

He's standing there, as modest and proud as ever. He doesn't attack Hidan, for this is an exchange, and if Shikamaru had any dignity or pride, he wouldn't attack. Instead, he settles for observing Hidan with his eyes narrowed.

The Hyuuga head's servant walks up. She must've been Hinata's younger sister. She looks exactly like Hinata did 5 years ago, except not as pretty.

She greets Hidan and introduces herself as Hanabi, the Hyuuga head. Hidan is confused and stares at the other Hyuuga. Isn't he...?

"No, that's Neji. He's my cousin."

In other words, he's in the Branch House.

"But since we bought Hinata back from you," Hanabi says, gesturing to the bulging pouch of money Hidan was holding. "She is now our clan head."

"Ah. I see. Well, good-bye. It was nice doing business with Konoha."

And Hidan leaves without looking back over his shoulder.


A year later, a note arrives at Akatsuki. It read:

Hidan,

Boy or girl?

Hinata

It didn't make sense to Hidan at all, and he wondered what the hell (fuck) she was talking about. So he ventures a guess, and he writes back.

Girl.

A month passes, and Hidan nearly forgets the strange memo. At the end of the month, there is a knock at the door. Tobi is the one to open it, and he gives a cry of happiness.

"Hinata!"

Hinata smiles at the good boy. But he isn't a boy anymore. He's a man now. A good man, of-course, but he's no longer a young boy. Hinata realizes that so much time had passed; nothing was the same, yet it was still all the same.

"Tobi, can you go fetch Hidan please?"

Tobi's smile falters behind the mask. It is Hidan-sempai, of-course, which she is here for...

"Yeah, I'll go get him. Wait here, no, actually, come in. And who's this little girl?"
"That's... you'll be seeing her around, trust me."

Tobi is confused by her response, but he shrugs it off and goes to grab Hidan.

"Hidan-sempai! Hinata is here-!"

Before he finishes the sentence, Hidan had sped past him. Within seconds, Hidan is at the door. He stares. It is Hinata, and in her arms was a little baby girl that looked exactly like Hinata, save for her hair and eye colours.

"Hinata...? Who is...?"

Hinata looks a little sad as she walks over and places the soft bundle of baby in Hidan's arms.

"That's our daughter, Hidan."

Hidan is stunned. It was only once, how could have they been so... err... (un)fortunate?

"You get to name her, we had fraternal twins. The boy looks exactly like you with a Byakugan and dark hair. I think we should be thankful, huh?"

Before Hidan can respond, she kisses him gently on the lips, turns, and walks out the door.


The baby girl grows up to be a beautiful, confident young lady, despite the men surrounding her. Her pale magenta eyes are piercing, and she wants to grow her hair out long, but father makes her keep the silky silver hair short. For what reasons, she doesn't know exactly, but it doesn't matter because she likes her hair this length. If it were any other length it'd seem strange.

The baby boy grows up to be a handsome, confident young man, and he's the village heartthrob. His eyes are that of a Hyuuga's and he wants to grow his dark hair out to look like Neji-san, but mother forbids him to. He doesn't know why, but he doesn't mind because he finds he likes it shoulder-length and slicked back from his face now. If it were any other length it'd feel off.

When the girl is 20, and father is 48, she decides that she wants to go out into the world, and she takes a year-long break from Akatsuki activities.

When the boy is 20, and mother is 41, he decides that he wants to go out into the world, and he takes a year-long break from Konoha activities.

They meet some time during that year, and they instantly know what sort of friends they will become -the really close ones that everyone mistakes as lovers, but they're not. They ask for each other's name after a friendly spar.

The girl's name is Hinata, after her mother.

The boy's name is Hidan, after his father.


I hope I wrote a realistic Hidan/Hina... this thing took me a freakin' long time XO It's 22 pages long on words, 7000+ words. I hope you guys stuck with me the whole way

And if there are spelling/grammar mistakes BAH!! I already used Word to go over it, (though Word can never be up to par with an actual HUMAN) I'm not going to scrutinize it again!! And if I accidentally called Kakuzu, Zakuzu anywhere, I'm very sorry, but in the beginning I misread the K and thought his name was Zakuzu... so sue me!!

Reviews would be love, and if anyone reads the author's note, put I like llamas trampling on grapes in your review. If you detest llamas, replace it with some animal you like, but if you love grapes and don't want llamas to trample on then, put some other food in place of grapes. Or if you hate that idea altogether, just tell me that you REFUSE to put 'I like llamas trampling on grapes' in your review

...but then you would've put it in anyway XP

-MC