-1 Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. Damn!
(A/N: Ha, ha, I get to say something. It should be something good… Well this is my first fan fiction story so please review. I would like some reviews to hear who roots for who. Also, sorry for me using my pen name in the story. Now, I will abandon you for taquitos with cheese. Not that you needed to know that…)
Tak the Hideous New Girl. I was watching my favorite Invader Zim episode. It was the one time the audience can see Zim's attempts at human affection. I couldn't help but awww and give girly screams as Zim tried to win Tak over with muffins and cards. Commercials came on and I was left to wonder what Zim might be able to have been as a boyfriend if Tak hadn't ruined everything.
I heard a loud, clunking, noise coming from next to the TV. It came from my father's Parallel Universe Transporter, (PUT for short). An invention that had made my father "world renowned,"
over night. Eventually he invented other things that surpassed the capabilities of this old thing.
The commercials started blurring and a wavy line disrupted the image on the TV screen. I bent down to find the problem without any luck, so I just started connecting and disconnecting wires behind the television before Zim came back on. The voice of my green invader came through so I grabbed a bunch of red connections and connected them into the red outlets. The picture wasn't fixed so I did what everybody does when they get frustrated with a machine. I hit it.
The picture came back on and I stepped back to review my work. Just then, my neighbor's crazy dog came bursting into the living room/ lab.
"Get this dog out of here!" I yelled at my younger brother. He was always trying to torment me.
"But he likes you!" He smiled innocently.
"I'm gonna get you!" I threatened.
My sibling ran out of the room and I backed away from the snarling dog. A shoe left on the floor carelessly tripped me and I fell through the open, swirling, portal of the universe transporter.
The last thing I heard was the canine's low barks and the Invader Zim theme song. The dog started to look as if he were moving in slow motion. My body started to elongate and resemble spaghetti along with the sound getting slower and lower. I wondered where I was being sent to, with this machine one had to be very specific.
While I tried to remember which setting the PUT had been set on, my hands started going numb.
This was a common affect of the transporter along with the coldness I felt in my feet and the blood rushing to my head. My eyelids started getting heavier and in less that thirty seconds I was succumbed by darkness.
"Awww… Are you a pretty girl?" I asked the INTRUDER that came through the thingy my master built.
She open-ed her eyes and said "What?"
She looked hungry so I open-ed my head and pulled out a taco. "Have a taco! I love tacos." I really do like tacos, and pigs, pizza too. And bacon, acorns….
"No thanks." She rubbed her head and looked around. "This is Zim's lab!" She yelled.
She scared me bad so I ran screaming in circles. I learned from the monkeys that screaming only makes things better.
"And you're Gir!" She rubbed her eyes and looked at me. I looked back.
"Yes I am." What else could I say?
"Wow!" She smiled big.
"Want some waffles?" Mrs. Crumbly on the Walton show ALWAYS offers waffles. She said it showed good hosting.
"No thanks." She said softly.
A tear started welling up in my eye and more came. I cried loudly since that way everyone always listened. Mrs. Crumbly would be so angry if she didn't eat my waffles!
"Don't cry Gir!" The girl looked panicked. It was working so I cried even louder.
"All right." She agreed.
"Yay!" I clapped my hands, just likes the little kids on Barney. She followed me to the kitchen.
I had awakened on a cold, hard, floor. As my two eyelids slowly opened, I saw two, huge, bright, baby blue eyes staring at me. My head hurt like crazy so that I would have gladly taken a sledgehammer to my skull rather than the pain I felt now.
Still left in a daze and as the blood in my body started circulating correctly again, I slowly started to recognize the thing staring at me.
Bright eyes, antenna, stitched mouth with a trademark tongue sticking out, this was Gir! I heard him ask me if I was a pretty girl and responded with a what; I was in too much shock to answer his question.
I sat up to look at my surroundings and exclaimed this is Zim's lab. Gir offered me a taco which I refused. A dangerous thing with Gir, refusal.
Gir looked so odd right before my very eyes. He was actually pretty tall, perhaps a couple of inches shorter than me. His body was made of metals I have never seen before. It was silver with white swirls in it. I could see my reflection in his glass, blue, eyes.
The lab looked different from how it looks on TV and yet the same. The giant computer screen was there a long with the dissecting table and a small screen over the giant one that Zim checked for the front door. Strange, alien, writing decorated everything. It was a series of circle and lines with zig zags all connected to make a design or frame. The computer was framed with the writing and the keyboard below had over a hundred more buttons than the conventional keyboard. Wires had been pulled out in a mass from under the computer, perhaps Zim's latest project.
"Want some waffles?" Gir asked while holding a stuffed pig.
"No thanks." I answered knowing that I was eating waffles whether or not I wanted some. Of course he started crying so I agreed. He led me to the pod that went downstairs. I had always wondered what it felt like to go down these things. In fact, they are a lot like an elevator only cool air is shot from the floor and down we go.
Gir walked and hummed to the kitchen, he looked at me sheepishly every so often as he took out his waffle ingredients.
I looked around the living room while waiting for my sure to be soapy waffles. The green monkey picture hung over the brown, pink, sofa. The window curtains were slightly open so I could see the gnomes standing guard outside.
A small table held pictures of Zim and Gir. Both Gir and Zim were in one picture in a heart. Another picture was of Gir's head sideways. Then there was a picture of Zim's eye, another of his hand reaching for the camera and one more of his 5o's hair. All framed.
"Who wants waffles?" Gir asked while setting a stack of them on the table for me. He gave me a fork, knife, and napkin so that nothing could prevent me from eating his waffles.
I sat at the table and began eating the monster sized stack he had given me.
"I'm gonna make s'more waffles." A cheerful Gir stated. I was about to argue but then realized that the attempt would be futile. Instead I decided to go with a different question.
"Gir? Where is Zim?"
He placed another stack near me and answered. "I think…" He paused a moment. "He's at Skool."
Well, I could come and go on the transporter as I pleased. Meeting Zim would be really cool.
"Gir?" His antennae perked up. "What time does Skool start? "
He thought a moment. "Eight -eighteen!"
I looked at the clock on the wall. It read seven- forty five.
"Gir, I want to go to school. Will you lead me there?" I looked pleadingly.
"Yay!" He answered. I smiled.
"Great! I'm just going to get a backpack."
I climbed into the toilet and reached the lab. The portal I had come through just happened to be the Space time Object Replacement Device. After the whole swirling thing I landed with a thump on the carpet of my house. A backpack and school supplies is what I needed so I grabbed them and raced back to the transporter.
A thought came to mind then, why did I land in Zim's world. I checked behind my TV and saw that the transporters wires had been connected with the TV's wire when I was tring to readjust it.
I stepped into the opening and was sent again to Zim's lab. I glanced at another clock, it read seven- fifty. "Wow, five minutes."
I whooshed downstairs and found Gir waiting for me with a stare the Ring girl couldn't copy.
"Ready Gir?" I asked while shifting my bag's weight to both my shoulders.
"Whee! Let's go!" He replied screaming and ran out the door while zipping up his dog suit.
Gir led the way to school. I followed with wide eyes as I observed everything around me. Houses all looked the same only in varying colors. Squirrels ran across the yards of close by houses while women watering there grass ignored them. I thought that in this world, everything would look cartoonish and fake, what I saw proved to the contrary. Objects looked different only normal here. One had to stop and think in order to remember this is not the way things are, a lot like the furniture in Mickey Mouse's house in Disneyland or experiencing a movie for two hours at the movie theaters. I looked at my own hand, it was outlined in dark black and my skin color was more vibrant than in my universe. I felt so 2D.
I smiled and turned my head facing forward. A black figure caught my eye. Black coat, black boots, Sonic the Hedgehog black hair…
"Dib!" I yelled, excited tot meet another Invader Zim character. I ran to his side in awe with Gir close behind.
Dib spun around to meet me. The sudden call of his name had startled him causing his glasses to slip the off the bridge of his nose. "Umm…" He pushed his glasses back in place. "Hi?"
"Hi!" I smiled and could hardly contain my excitement. I loved Dib; of course I loved Zim more. Still this was too good to be true.
"Are you new here?" He asked curiously as I walked along side him.
"Yes I am." I answered.
"Are you going to Skool?" He asked me.
"Yeah, Gir is leading me there." I looked to my side and saw Gir heading towards a building called Dance Club. Ditched by a dog. "Was."
"Gir?" Dib asked looking at the empty space I pointed at.
"Never mind." I shook my head.
"By the way I'm Cat. Short for Catherine."
Dib smiled, "Hi Cat."
"Do you mind if I walk with you? Gir ditched me and I have no idea about how to get to school." It would have been really weird if I just followed him. Stalker.
"Sure! Alright!" Dib agreed eagerly. "By the way, not to pry, how did you know my name?"
I thought quickly and responded with the first thing that popped into my head. "I'm part of the Swollen Eyeball organization."
Dib stopped dead in his tracks. "You're a part of the Swollen Eyeball? I've never heard of you. What is your paranormal finder name?" He stared intently.
" Yeahummm…Sweetblood?" (A/N: he he) He tried to recall my name with out luck.
"You're not going to remember the name. I'm very new to the organization." I hope he doesn't check.
He smiled and looked enthusiastic. "I'm so glad I know someone that's a part of it! Since you're new I'll help introduce you to the world of the paranormal. Now to start there's this videotape on Bigfeet…"
We arrived at the Skool while Dib kept on bragging about his adventures. The most recent was the giant chicken.
"So the doctor just unzipped the zipper and the case was solved. So look out for the fake paranormal, but you'll get used to disappointment." I thanked him for his advice and looked around the school.
Out of the corner of my eye, a flash of green made me turn my head in an instant. It was Zim! My mouth was held agape and smiling as I slowly trailed behind the Irken invader as if in a trance.
Dib grabbed my arm and steered me in the right direction. "Yup. You're definitely a part of the Swollen E. you noticed he's an alien right away right?" He nodded happily in saying it.
"What? Oh yeah." I agreed in a daze.
"So should I call you Cat or Sweetblood?" He asked.
"I appreciate both." I was still watching Zim. He was at the Dodge ball court, eyeing a dodge ball carefully. I knew what came next.
I ran towards Zim and intercepted a dodge ball headed straight for his head. I threw it back at the people and turned to face him. He had his gloved hands out to protect his face and closed eyes. Apparently he had seen what I had done for him for he spoke to me.
"Why thank you human. That ball could have hit Zim's important head." He held his head high in saying this. After all, he is superior.
"You're welcome." I smiled and half closed my eyes dreamily. "It was an honor…" I giggled and blushed.
"Good! You should feel honored. After all I am Ziim." He laughed maniacally.
"I know." I giggled again.
"Hmmm… You seem different." He paused and looked at a child hang from a bar upside down and then fall on his head. "From the other human worm babies."
"Really? Thanks." I was surprised and gushed over the compliment.
"Yes, yes, thank Zim. Now leave me be you filthy human." He marched away and didn't look back.
"Don't be offended, he calls everyone filthy." Faithful Dib came by my side. I suppose he had witnessed everything.
"So why did you save him from the ball Sweetblood?" He asked?
"Oh well…He is an alien we should report to the Swollen E right? So, we don't want to turn in damaged goods!" I shuddered for effect.
"Right." Dib nodded in agreement. The bell rang.
"So where do you go now?" Dib asked. I watched Zim leave and answered. "I go where the alien goes of course!"
"Really? So you were sent by the counsel? Did they get my E-mails?" He asked excitedly as we walked to class.
"No. Self-assigned." I wouldn't want him checking up on with the Swollen Eyeball to confirm.
"Oh, well my class is with Zim. I can use your help in capturing an alien." Poor Dib. This was just like the time he thought the counselor would help him. What rotten luck.
Ms. Bitters saw me walk in and told the class that there was a new student. "State your name and anything else. Then remain quite the rest of the year." She shadowed back to her desk and watched.
"Hi. My name is Cat and…" I looked around the room. Stage fright, lots of it. What to say? He, he, what would Zim say? "And all of you would do very well to stay out of my way! This pathetic world is useless and I intend to make some big changes when I am ruler of the human race! All the smart people will be in charge and everyone else will be slaves!"
I turned to Ms. Bitters and said, "I'm done."
"Well said Cat," She smiled and pointed to a child in the middle of the room. "I don't like you." Once she said that a hole opened under the child's desk and both he and the desk fell into a pit. A new desk appeared. As I walked to my new desk, I saw that both Zim's and Dib's expressions were of shock. My plan worked. Excellent.
"Today class you will be proving why we are going to die from lack of natural resources. State why our killing trees and wasting water can only lead to the destruction of the human race and other Earth inhabitants." Ms. Bitters opened a role call book. "You will be working with partners since the school board feels it enhances your learning capabilities. Lies, all of them."
She began to read the list of partners, I heard celebrations and some groans.
"Zita and Lar,
Gam and Jan
Jer and Dan
Kate and Jill
Dib and Angie
Zim and Cat."
She continued reading from the list. From Angie I heard a, "Yes!" From Dib I heard a forehead hitting hard wood.
Zim didn't look at me but I continued to gaze lovingly at him.
"Now with your partners go to the lab tables and write an essay on the world's doom from finite resources."
The class started moving and I patiently waited as Zim marched down the aisle and to the table of his choice. This should be fun.' I thought.
Sweetblood, what an odd name. It sounded pro- vampires. Still she seemed trust worthy, and like her name sweet. Although now I was confused. Did she really want to enslave the earth? I'm so glad someone from the Swollen Eyeball is here, now I'm not so weird. She'll need someone to sit with at lunch. I'll ask her later.
How come Zim got to be her partner? There are so many questions I want to ask her. But no I had to get Angie.
"I'm really glad we're partners Dib." Angie laughed than snorted. "So what do you want to write about Dib?"
"How about wasting water?" I gave her something.
I watched Zim and Cat at their table. Zim was standing on his chair, yelling and waving his fist in the air. She seemed to be listening intently. In all honesty it seemed as though she couldn't take her eyes off of him.
"Then there are the water towers which are completely unsanitary." Angie continued.
"Completely." I added. She wrote it down.
Now Sweetblood was standing and yelling at Zim. He nodded and she wrote something on their essay paper. It looked as if he asked her something and she nodded in agreement. What were they saying?
Cat's POV during Dib's POV
I love Zim. I really do. I'm coming here everyday even if all he does is scorn me. He's so cute and egotistical that it's simply irresistible.
"Listen to Zim you disgusting earth worm! Earth will not be conquered by you but by Zim! So forget all your plans for world domination. Fear me! Fear me now!" He stood on his chair angrily and one of his eyes was bigger than the other.
"Ok Zim." I answered dreamily.
He seemed bewildered by my sudden surrender. "Eh? Umm… All right. Good." He sat down clearly not receiving the battle he expected.
Well, I didn't want to disappoint him so I thought of a display to show that I could be as crazy as him.
Especially since that was the only reason he would willing talk to me.
"You may try to conquer Earth, Zim." I started. "Just know your attempts will be futile. I already know of three ways in which the earth can be destroyed and the human race eliminated." I tried my best to imitate his stance and look as deranged as he usually does.
"Human filth worm. Why would you want to eliminate your own species?" He asked, fist and jaw clenched.
Again, what would Zim say? "My mind works in ways your inferior brain could never comprehend!" I said and sat down.
He gasped and replied, "Oh you will pay. The pain I shall give!"
"The pain I would return!" It was fun imitating Zim.
He sat down, glaring at me with a hate so great it made me shiver.
I began the essay and returned to my recent new girl composure.
"The rainforest? Want to write about them?" I asked shyly. (This seemed completely obnoxious next to my invader behavior.
I mostly wrote the essay. Within ten minutes I finished and then snuck a peek at Zim. He was still glaring.
"What are the three ways?" He asked, more so, demanded.
I couldn't answer with out being responsible for the earth's demise.
"I can't tell you. There are too many people around." I shrugged.
"Tell Zim! Tell me now!" He grit his teeth and stood.
"Later." I promised.
"Come to Zim's house and there you shall tell Zim your plans. I must record it!"
"Your house?" I squeaked. Zim was actually inviting me to his abode! "All right! Sure!" I nodded with enthusiasm.
Ms. Bitters called for the assignments. Zim stood to go back to his seat while I handed in the paper.
As an after thought, Zim added, "And Zim's brain is far more superior than yours!"
( I have more written, but I wanted some reviews before continuing. That way I won't waste energy on writing something that noone else will read. This is just the beginning so just know that it gets way better.
I Am SWEETBLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow long chapter. Sorry.)