We aren't romance writers. We don't write romance. Don't hate us for the romantic scences you will experience in this chapter. Laugh. But don't hate.
The next morning, after he brushed his teeth, Mizuki made his way to King Kabaji's castle. There was a big ball taking place today in honour of Princess Shinji (Yukimura) and Prince Oshitari, so there would be a lot of royalty going into the castle and it wouldn't be difficult for Prince Mizuki to sneak in.
Once he entered the ballroom, he stayed to the side and watched Yukimura, waiting for her to be the center of attention so that he could reveal her secret when everyone was watching.
After a few hours of hanging around the snack table drinking punch, it was announced that "Princess Shinji" and Prince Oshitari were to share a dance and no one but them was allowed to. So naturally, everyone watched the couple, and Mizuki knew that this was the perfect chance.
So he pushed through the crowd and pounced on Yukimura, knocking her to the ground. Before anyone had the chance to yell "Rape!" he spoke:
"This is not the real Princess Shinji!" He declared. Everyone gasped.
"Prove it!" Demanded Prince Oshitari.
"Uh…well, this imposter really doesn't look all that much like the real princess." Mizuki began. "You see, this person here has bigger eyes and wavy hair. And she's so much more pale than Princess Shinji, she has a smaller chin too. So ha!"
Everyone gasped again, this time it was followed by two guards coming and taking Yukimura away. Prince Mizuki did a little victory dance but it was interrupted by Oshitari.
"What are you even doing here?" Prince Oshitari asked. "You weren't invited, and you had no reason to tell everyone that it was not truly Princess Shinji."
"Actually, I did." Mizuki explained. "If the imposter were to marry you, then legally Princess Shinji would be married to you, because she would have written down her name. And that would mean that I wouldn't be able to marry the real Princess Shinji!"
Mizuki paused, then realized what he just said.
"Then that means…" It dawned on Prince Oshitari that the real Princess Shinji was in danger, and so was the fake that he fell in love with.
And so Prince Mizuki ran. He ran like he never had before. He was surprised when he reached his own castle.
"I out ran them all, Nfu." But then he realized that he hadn't actually been chased.
Meanwhile, the charming Prince Oshitari was trying to come up with a way to free his beloved pauper from the cold, cruel dungeon that she currently resided in.
"I wonder if I…no, no, no. That won't work. But if... yes, and then…no, wait. If I did that, then maybe… yes, that's it!" And with that he took off.
Far below our heroic prince, in the deep dark dungeons, sat Yukimura.
"What is he talking about! Of course I look like Princess Shinji. Well, not really. Its surprising nobody noticed before this. Anyway, I need to get out of here so I can help the princess. Actually, I'm a little tired. Maybe I could take a nap first."
And so Yukimura curled up in a little ball in the corner of her cell and fell asleep.
That is however, until the cell door started to open.
"You. Get up. You are to be taken to the king for sentencing." Came the incredibly sexy voice of the guard, dressed in a full suit of armour, standing just outside the door.
Yukimura allowed the guard to escort her until they got outside. Then however, she decided to make a run for it. The plan backfired though, when she realized that the guard had a firm grip on her arm, and her futile attempts to get away mildly amused him and he started to chuckle.
Then Yukimura remembered the guard's sexy voice. Put that together with the chuckle. Something clicked inside her brain. "Hey wait a minute! I know that voice!"
Yukimura reached for the guard's helmet and removed it, she was relieved to see that it was none other than Prince Oshitari!
"Prince Oshitari!" Cried Yukimura. "Why did you rescue me? I…I mean…thank you, your highness." She went to bow, trying to hide her tears, sad that she could no longer be with Oshitari.
"Stop, I will have none of that." Said Prince Oshitari, grabbing Yukimura's hand. "I don't care if you're not really Princess Shinji, I fell in love with you."
"Really?" Yukimura looked into Oshitari's deep violet eyes. "I couldn't be happier to hear you say that, Oshitari."
"Princess." He said playfully.
They leaned in closer each other, with intentions to kiss, but Yukimura pulled away at the last second with a gasp, making Prince Oshitari fall over.
"We have to save Princess Shinji, Kamio and Tachibana!" She said.
Prince Oshitari stood up and brushed himself off.
"Yes, that would be a good idea." He kept his thoughts about kissing being a better idea to himself and brought Yukimura over to the carriage he arrived in and removed two of the horses, giving one to Yukimura.
"Can you ride?" He asked her, handing over the reigns.
"Let's find out." Replied Yukimura in that tone that protagonists use whenever something like this happens.
"No, seriously." Oshitari said taking the reigns back. "If you can't ride, I'm not going to let you on a horse."
"Oh." Said Yukimura. "Well then, no, I can't."
Prince Oshitari sighed and helped Yukimura on the back of his horse, which he had already mounted, and somehow made the other horse follow them to Queen Kirihara's castle, so that Kamio, Princess Shinji and Tachibana could all ride on it.
Or Tachibana could walk or something.
Let's slide on over and see how our captives are holding up.
"Well this isn't what I expected." Said Kamio as he strolled up the isle clutching a bouquet of pretty pink flowers. Tachibana walked beside him holding an identical bouquet of flowers. Yes, they were the flower girls for Prince Mizuki and Princess Shinji's wedding. Well it could be worse. At least they aren't wearing dresses…
The wedding was taking place on one of the well-manicured lawns surrounding the palace of Queen Kirihara. The isle was more like a red carpet with chairs arranged on either side. Needless to say, the bride's side was rather empty. At the end of the carpet stood a white archway covered in vines and flowers. And under the arch stood Prince Mizuki.
As soon as Tachibana and Kamio reached the end of the carpet music started playing and Princess Shinji stomped down the isle muttering to her self.
"I can't believe I'm doing this. This isn't even how I would have decorated. Who chose these flowers? There are bees everywhere. Oh, I'm starting to rant again. People say I tent to do that. I don't like the word rant. It doesn't have a good feel to it…"
Princess Shinji then noticed that the music had stopped.
"That's odd… I was sure there was music before. Oh, I reached the front that's why."
It was Kamio who heard it first. There seemed to be some sort of commotion near by. It wasn't until the people in the seats started to get up, yell curses, or just run away screaming that he noticed what the cause of the original commotion was.
A herd of dental floss wielding monkeys charged past scaring away anyone who hadn't already run away screaming.
This left Kamio and Tachibana alone with Prince Mizuki, who looked utterly shocked, Princess Shinji, and a few guards.
"So I guess we just wait around here till the minister comes back?" asked Tachibana. Everyone glared at him.
Kamio started tapping his foot. "What the hell are you doing?" asked Tachibana, getting annoyed way too easily. He was probably edgy from all the glares he received.
"Getting into the rhythm." Replied Kamio, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Well stop it." Tachibana snapped, hitting Kamio across the back of the head.
"I am SO in it now!" exclaimed Kamio, and proceeded to knock out Prince Mizuki.
Then, out of nowhere, Prince Oshitari came galloping across the lawn, he stopped right in front of the trio in a very heroic way, with Yukimura still sitting behind him.
"Oh, Prince Oshitari." Said Princess Shinji. "Just the person I wanted to talk to actually."
"What?" Said both Kamio and Prince Oshitari.
"Regarding our wedding, I don't know if the idea of marrying someone who you hardly know is annoying in any situation, or just because I'm a girl and I get emotional and hormonal-"
"Okay, yeah um…" Said Prince Oshitari. "I don't think this is a good time to talk about this."
Sure enough, the remaining guards had begun to advance on the five, wielding weapons like swords, maces, spears, anything medieval and pointy.
But then, Prince Oshitari drew his sword, that I just decided he had now, and looked at the others.
"Come on, take out any weapons you have!" They all looked at him like he was stupid.
"Princess Shinji, Kamio and I were just taken captive, you really think we have any weapons?" Asked Tachibana.
"Actually," Said Kamio, reaching into his sock. "I have this pocket knife. Here, princess, you can use it, I'm in the rhythm, I don't need it."
"Wow, thanks..." Shinji said as she took it from him. "A sock knife…A sweaty sock knife"
"Enough!" Yelled Bobby Max, the leader of the guards. "Attack!"
What happens next will be a glorious fight that rival my romance writing skills!
Burning Taka aimed his sword at Tachibana, but Prince Oshitari intercepted and blocked it with his sword. The two then began a valiant sword fight in which Oshitari got medieval on Taka's ass. It ended with Taka's sword several feet away from him, reverting him back to Normal Taka, causing him to run away or something because I don't want to kill him.
Kamio was engaged in mortal combat with Saeki. The two were throwing punches and blocking kicks, dodging left, right, jumping up and down, they were all over the place until Kamio released his Sonic Bullet (Even though I don't remember what that does, let's pretend it's some badass move that makes him win the fight okay?) and Saeki passed out on the ground.
Yukimura was somehow holding her own against Kaidou, she had even managed to get out of the way in time when he used his special move against her. When Kaidou was recovering from using his move, she snuck up behind him and karate chopped him, needless to say, he fell to the ground unconscious.
The battle raged on for half an hour before our heroes couldn't fight anymore. And just when they thought all was lost, just when the guards were about to advance in victory, and just when they all thought for sure they were going to die…Tachibana whipped out his pistol, which he kept for safety reasons, and shot the remaining guards.
Kamio, Princess Shinji, Prince Oshitari and Yukimura all stared at him with wide eyes.
"What?" He asked.
"You had that the WHOLE time and you didn't use it!?" Kamio screamed. "Not when the guards arrested us, not when you could have shot the lock and set us free, not until we all thought this was our last breath?! And not to mention, you were the one who said we were just take captive and wouldn't have weapons!!"
"Well sorry!" Said Tachibana getting all defensive, then again, wouldn't you? "I forgot it was there!"
"Forgot it was there?!" Kamio was officially pissed off.
"Stop fighting you two!" Yelled Princess Shinji and ran over to Kamio. "It's not nice to fight, especially now that we're all friends. The point is that we're all safe and happy now, regardless if Tachibana forgot that he had a gun in his pocket." Shinji paused. "How do you forget about a fully loaded pistol in your pocket?"
Tachibana shrugged and started to pet it. "It's just part of me now, I am the pistol, the pistol is me…"
Everyone took a few steps away.
Kamio suddenly got a thought. "Hey Princess Shinji, where were you during the heroic battle sequence? I didn't see you at all."
"Oh, I was carving"
"CARVING" Came the outraged shouts from Yukimura, Tachibana, Kamio and Prince Oshitari.
"So while we were out there risking our lives, possibly drawing our last breaths, you decided to do some CARVING!!" screamed Tachibana.
"It better have been something good" said Prince Oshitari.
"Of course it was good! I carved a mushroom." Said Princess Shinji, showing everyone the mushroom that she was very proud of.
"You carved a MUSHROOM?! That wasn't what I gave you the pocket knife for." Exclaimed Kamio
"Yea, like I could do anything with this butter knife" the princess said sarcastically. "Besides, I made it for you. Don't you like it? I really thought you would like it. I don't know if you like mushrooms or not, but I figured that, since you're a horticulturist, and mushrooms grow from the ground or something, that you might appreciate it. I guess not. I worked really hard on it, for like, half an hour, but since you don't like it I might as well throw it away. Although I was really proud of it."
"Wait Princess, don't cry!" said Kamio as he put an arm around the princess because sure enough, she had started to sniffle. Not cry. Princess Shinji doesn't cry. "I really like the um… wooden mushroom."
"Oh Kamio, do you really mean it?" and then she hugged him because she was just so happy that he liked her wooden mushroom.
"Um, yeah, so anyway, Princess Shinji, you obviously don't want to marry me, and no offence, but I really don't want to marry you, so why don't we just call the whole thing off. Now let's get out of here. The guards might wake up any second and I think we have fought enough for today." Prince Oshitari was clearly the only one using their head.
And so they all mounted their horses, Kamio and Princess Shinji on one, and Prince Oshitari and Yukimura on the other and they rode off into the sunset.
Tachibana was left to find his own mode of transportation