Wrong affair can bring sorrow and tragedy…
Dunno why I wrote this… I was bored I guess... (o.o)
I do hope you'll like this one... (n.n)
Warning: Slash m/m… Pairing: Paul L./Brian K.
I see them… Again… The third time I catch them lip-locked… It hurts… I hurt… But I can't do anything… I just stand there… Hiding from them…
My tears sliding down my cheeks… Cheeks that he used to kiss tenderly… I began to taste those tears as they reach my lips… Lips that he used to ravish wildly yet gently…
Used to… Because now he do not… The tender kisses gone… My cheeks never feel them anymore… My lips always bleed after he kisses me…
Yet I just allow him to… Allow him to do what he wants… To have his way… Though his new way is cruel… The sweet him is gone… The caring him had vanish…
Yet I stay the same… Yet I stay by his side… Though he always tell me he don't want me there… Though he hurts me and damages me… Not physically, but emotionally…
I can almost hear my mind scream… See my heart in tears… Feel my sanity slowly giving up… And the worse, the scene that is unfolding in front of me…
His hands roam her body… His lips, ravaging hers… His tongue half way on her throat…
Damn! Is it because I'm also a man that he finds me unworthy? Is it because I am not good enough for him? Is it because he is tired of me? One of them or all of them?
He haven't dump me… Not yet… And as realization invade my mind, I begin to think… Must I wait for the day he'd finally push me off his life completely? Why not leave on my own?
And with that, I made my decision… Probably worst, but best for him and me…
I am I doing? I'm kissing a lady… Having an affair with her… Why?! No… I don't love her… I love him… My real lover… I don't wanna hurt him… But what if he finds out?!
Why he hell am I staying at this situation anyway? How did it started? She seduced me that I know… But how come I was lured in?! Damn, I don't know… I don't care anymore… I break the kiss… I wanna stop this whole damn thing!
She looked at me with pure confusion… She doesn't even really care… No she don't! So I told her… What I really feel… Then left her without any other word…
Paul London had been up with the girl for a while. She seemed an addiction to him. He wanted to stop for the sake of his beloved but he can't.
Every time he and Brian kissed, his guilt became too hard to bear. Soon he hurt him more than he thought he could. His gentleness was being covered by guilt, shame and anger towards himself. He didn't mean to but every time they kiss his frustration was tuned in towards him.
He sometimes wanted to tell him about every thing. But he was afraid he would hate him if he knew. He wanted to set him free because he felt he's not worthy of him. But he couldn't even think of breaking up with him. He thought of these things as he ran down the road going to their home.
He wished everything would be fine again. Just forget about the girl his lover never knew. Then start life again pretending nothing actually happened. Or so he thought…
Brian Kendrick looked at the glistening blade before letting it touch his skin. He wanted to write a letter to him as a farewell but he couldn't. Maybe, just maybe, he would miss him. But he wasn't sure.
So he simply keeps his pain to himself. Choosing to stay quiet until death.
He finally slashed the blade through his wrist. The left one first, the right one following. As blood oozed down his arms, he heard his name being shouted. But as he watched with fascination to his wound, he didn't notice the door open.
Oh, my God!!! Paul gasped as he saw Brian bloody and broken. "Bri! Bri what are you doing!!!" Paul practically yelled.
Brian looked up at him, eyes glossed with tears that wont fall. His eyes showed so much hurt that made Paul feel a thousand stabs on his heart even though they did not glare at him.
"Bri…" his voice trailed off, holding the smaller man tightly. "Why?" He said almost a whisper.
"You don't love me any longer…" he said, voice eerie hollow, so unlike Brian Kendrick. "You don't love me any longer…" he said again.
"What?! No way!!! I love you as hell, you know that!"
"I don't know anymore. I don't know now." Each word became lower and lower. "I saw you three times with her. There's no denying it."
"NO!! We're over!!! I love you more than her," Paul now realizing Brian knew all along what was happening. His heart ached again, this time becoming more painful. "She was nothing compared to you… Nothing at all…" he said breaking down.
For a slight moment, a ghostly smile lit Brian's face.
"Really?" he asked like a child slowly slipping into unconsciousness.
"Baby, wait! Let me call an ambulance! Please…"
"Just kiss me, Paul…please…" Brian begged, reaching his hands on his partner's face. Paul held his hands gently and complied.
He kissed him long. Not wildly but gently. Full of love and compassion. Soon, after what seemed like an eternity cut short, Brian's hand fell. Off from Paul cheek, off from his hands.
When he looked at his beloved, he wasn't responding anymore… Would not respond forever. Anguish overtook him and he cried his name over and over again, rocking his body back and fort.
He only stopped when he noticed something from his angel's face. Tears continued to slid down his cheeks as sobs escaped his mouth. His fingers gently touched the dead boy's lips.
Lips that held a beautiful, peaceful smile.
Yes I know… It sucks!!!
Made one boring afternoon… -sigh-
Please review anyway…
Positive and Negative accepted… (n.n)