Just because I'm bored…I have no life, you know…
SPOILER WARNING: Probably contains spoilers for Harry Potter Books 1-7 and YuYu Hakusho. But I'm not sure. Don't make me check.
Ages for Mentioned / Used Characters:
Yusuke Urameshi: 18
Kazuma Kuwabara: 18
Hiei Jaganshi: Less than 100 (thanks due to the Miss who pointed out that lovely bit of logic)
Shuichi Minamino / "Shuichi-Kurama": 19
Youko Kurama: 1,000 (like in the Japanese anime)
Keiko Yukimura: 18
Yukina of the Koorime: Less than 100 (see Hiei).
Botan: Er…well, I don't think she's as old as she seems…
Time-set at Hogwarts is 6th year for Harry, because I love old Dumblydore so and cannot bear to be without th' ol' coot. Mind, it would be 5th year, just so that I may have the Twins, Serious, and Sweet Dolores, but alas, those four with the combination of Yusuke is just too catastrophic. More importantly, I shall be making a slut out of Youko, and therefore want the poor Hogwarts dears to be as well educated as I can stand.
Rated T for Teen due to swearing, mild sexual reference, violence, and death threats. But I'll try to keep it tame.
In which The Boys are going to France
"Sir!" The blue ogre, Jorge, tumbled into Koenma's office at a sprint, several papers clutched in his fist.
"What!" The demi-god snapped back – as usual, he was seated at his desk with ridiculous stacks of paperwork piled around him, in a very sorry state because of it.
He moodily proceeded stamping papers while Jorge continued with, "I have the reports on the demonic activity in Europe, as you requested."
"Read them to me, Ogre!"
"Yes, Lord Koenma," He nervously cleared his throat, "It says that the activity is practically non-existent in the main body of Europe; however, it is very abundant in certain, focused areas across the United Kingdom. The demonic energy levels do not exceed low "C" class, but it may be that a powerful wizard by the name of Tom Marvolo Riddle, alias Lord Voldemort, is controlling them, and due to his infamous criminal record, especially against non-magical or non-spiritual humans, that may become a problem. Plus, if the wizard population becomes aware of Makai's creatures again, then there is no telling what may happen – but they will probably attempt to exterminate the entire species like last time…"
"And if this becomes so, then Japan, and eventually Reikai, will be the first place they come to, correct, Ogre?"
"Well, we do have a long history with demons…it would be most logical."
"Send Botan to me and inform my father of this immediately."
"Yes, My Lord."
Yusuke was content with his new life – well, sure, now that he'd moved back into the Ninginkai he had to start into Junior High again if he ever wanted to get a conventional job so that he could support Keiko, and that had raised some eyebrows, but all was good. Especially since they had gotten married…him and Keiko, of course. He'd made a promise to her, after all.
He still went back to the Makai from time-to-time with Kurama to visit Hiei, and to spar with them, so that he didn't (or they, for that matter) get too restless, or out of practice. Keiko didn't mind, as long as he wasn't away for more than a day, because of his "studies" – gone after school on Saturday, home before ten PM on Sunday.
That and he had to do his homework first – but Kurama would usually complete it for him, the more time to spar. Sneaky old bastard got all the right questions wrong, too, so Keiko wouldn't notice…which Yusuke should probably count as an insult, but still…if you thought about it, it was actually pretty considerate.
And sometimes, when Koenma was in a real spot with some demons, Yusuke would take care of it for him – sometimes with help from Kuwabara, or even Kurama. The best part was that now a days, they always received money in return. Yusuke kept the yen in a bank account he and Keiko had made for savings.
With all that, despite still being in Middle School, Yusuke felt he was growing into a right proper adult. And since that made Keiko and Mom happy, well…he was happy too, damn it!
And life moved on.
"…I can see doing little shit for you, like, 'Oh, Yusuke, go kill the big scary demon who's eating innocent children,' and, 'Could you stomp on that little parade of apparitions trying to sell human appendy-whats-its—?"
"—Appendages?' but this takes the fucking cake! You want me to go to France? FRANCE?"
"I believe, Yusuke, he said 'England'."
"Oh, fuck off, Kurama! Go be smart somewhere else!" The person in question rolled his eyes and re-arranged his crossed arms.
"You could always just refuse if it bothers you so much. I have to admit, I, too, am a little offended by Koenma-sama's offer, but you don't see me breaking my very sensitive eardrums…"
"If you didn't catch it, Detectivethat's a hint."
"Dammit you guys—!" Defeated, Yusuke stuffed his hands into his pockets and sulked.
"Thank you, Kurama. I'm glad someone's civilized around here."
"Do not thank me. As I have said, I am cross with you, also. I would think that after what we went through in our last escapade concerning Reikai, you would not have the gull to ask us to complete another long-term mission, let alone an over-seas one, ever again. Even for pay." Koenma sighed tiredly, in response to the Kurama's monotone.
"Don't you have a Spirit Dog in your reserve somewhere?"
"I concur with Hiei."
"Well…he's not yet capable. But what I want to discuss with you now, before you all decide to up and—,"
"Oh? So you do, Koenma-sama?"
"That's it," Hiei growled, "I am done with you all. Send me back to the Makai and leave me the hell alone!"
"Wait! Listen to me you three, all you'll have to do is make sure a certain person does not fall into harm and destroy all demons you come into contact with! You don't have to learn anything, don't have to befriend anyone, don't even have to go to classes!"
"I do not care. I am resuming college at the end of the summer, and I will not be putting it off to learn magic tricks instead."
"Kurama! I'm surprised at you! I would think you would value this an…an exciting learning experience!"
"Don't try to bribe me, Koenma-sama! I would choose Botany over learning how to pull a rabbit out of one's hat any day."
"…Y-you guys didn't even hear what I was planning on paying you!" Koenma blurted out, rather randomly.
"Like it'll make any difference."
"You may change your mind, Hiei. Don't belittle Reikai's funds before you know its extent!"
"Don't make me laugh."
"Let's just get this over with. Koenma-sama, show us…?"
"Here. This is the price we will be paying you each individually, for every month you spend in Europe." And he wrote the amount in the margin of some paper work, afterwards turning the paper around so that the group could read it.
Yusuke's eyes did bulge at the sum, and even though he wasn't that bad at mathematics, he shuddered at the thought of multiplying it by twelve. However, he quickly kept his grace by turning his nose up in the air. "Nope. Not even if you paid me."
Then from the corner of his eye, Yusuke observed the reaction of his two friends; Hiei, he saw, was in the same state of mind as he; Kurama however was staring at the number, biting his lower lip tentatively.
"One year in service… That…that could pay for all of my years in college…and buy Mother her stove…"
Koenma's eyebrows rose. "Oh, yeah, Kurama…wasn't your mother saving yen to renovate her kitchen—," The kitsune lit his face with a glare, "—but instead is using it to help you pay your was through college?"
"Don't. You. Start with me, Koenma-sama."
"I'm surprised you're taking that tone with me, Kurama. Besides, I was just speaking aloud…" Really, the toddler knew he was being unfair; but he was desperate.
Kurama pondered the number another long moment before sighing, looking up to somberly stare at Koenma. "I'm in."
"If I said I was going to study in an extended period England before college; that I had gotten a letter inviting me to come, but it hadn't been delivered until the summer, as that is when the English have their grade changes…Mother would understand. I am quite sure she would allow me to drop out. I can come up with a way of how I would have gotten the money to pay for my expenses and eventual college fees later. Among other things."
"But you can't just disappear for a year!" In actuality, Yusuke would be missing his company. And Hiei's as well, for he wasn't sure how to get into the Makai without Kurama's help. And convincing Hiei to spend his free time in Ninginkai was laughable.
And Kuwabara was just about as obsessed with studies as Keiko was…
"Oh? And this is coming from the boy who left the Ninginkai, never to be seen again for three years?"
Yusuke resumed sulking. He looked again at the yen he would be paid…would Keiko still be angry if he left if he sent back that much every month in return…?
Plus, think of it – gallivanting mindlessly about a foreign country with two of his best friends…well, perhaps "gallivanting" wasn't the best word, as they would be going to a boarding school, but… He could just imagine the looks on the teachers' faces – heathen-boy Urameshi, skipping classes and smoking on the roof…
He wasn't aloud to anymore, Keiko's orders.
But Koenma said they didn't really have to do anything, learning-wise. Which fitted his criteria just fine.
"Sure. I'll go – come t' think of it, Keiko would really like the yen…"
Koenma stifled a smile – once he'd roped Kurama, the rest came easily enough. "Well? Hiei?"
Hiei looked at the three before him – the Fox, the Detective, the Baby—
"What happed to you, Detective? Five seconds ago, you were just as sore about this as I was. Let alone the Fox."
"Well…just think of it; being in a magical-like place would be just like Makai, and you know how much fun—,"
"No, you idiot, it is nothing like the Makai – for when in the Ninginkai, you still have to abide by Human rules, no matter where you reside, and one of these rules happens to ban the slaughtering of the very creatures I despise most."
"Aw, c'mon, Hiei, you can't do that in Makai, anyway!"
"No, but you can still take your anger out on the weak, defenseless natives if you please. They scream plenty if you stab in the right places, too. Just like humans," A half-smirk twisted onto his face.
"Hiei, haven't ya' ever heard of small, fluffy creatures? They're practically the same thing!"
"I hope you know, Yusuke, that foxes happen to fall under the category of 'small, fluffy creatures'."
"No chance, Detective. I am not degrading myself by working for you people again. For profit or for freedom," He began to tread away.
"So you would rather rot in jail for three hundred years than work on probation again?"
Hiei, halfway to the exit, stopped dead in his tracks and spun on his heel to glower at Koenma. "What are you suggesting?"
"Well, Hiei, you did help in the murder of Sensui, didn't you?"
"Your point? All I did was fight him! It was Yusuke who finished him off!"
"But you helped none-the-less. Here at Reikai, we let you off on punishment for it since it was for the better, but we could, if we felt the need, revoke that permit…in which you would either have to serve three hundred years in prison, or do charity work – and I think the currant mission I will be assigning Yusuke and Kurama would be sufficient enough…"
Koenma had said he was desperate.
Flat-out lying was fair game by now.
Hiei's narrowed eyes darted from the poker mask Koenma currently expressed, to the one worn by that damned blue ogre.
The demi-god shrugged. "If that's what you think. Ogre?"
"Please inform the guards of Hiei's criminal status. Tell them to arrest him immediately, in case he decides to attack."
"Of course, Sir…"
"Fine! Fucking fine! I'll take your damned offer, but you'd betterpay me as much as you're planning on paying them!"
"Of course!" Koenma was suddenly quite cheerful. "I knew I could get you guys to help me out! Now, we'll go over the details, dish out some translators, and then we're through."
Kurama heaved a sigh. He tricked us, didn't he? The amount he'll pay us for one year is a rounded version of the yen I would need for college and Mother's stove…
It's your own damn fault; don't come crying to me like a kit with a bitten muzzle. But oh, well. Foreign people are pretty.
What? Something I said?
"Alright, Koenma-sama. Get this over with already."
"Okay, then! But, before we get on with this, I would like to inform you that there is such a thing as magic." Yusuke's eyes widened, while Kurama and Hiei gave each other exasperated glances. "Don't look at me like that, Yusuke, you use it all the time! – it's just spirit or demon energy, but Westerners call it magic. Much of Asia actually uses it, too; Japan is the only country that continues the practice of spirit energy in the way that Easterners first developed it. The way of the Westerners is less physically demanding, you see, so many switched to that.
"The reason you've never heard of this before, is that Magical Japan has never been on good terms with Magical Europe, and now, Magical Asia, due to the fact that Europe and much of Asia believes that demons like you three have been slaughtered to extinction. The actual reason is, of course, that they were banished to the Makai; but the Ministers refuse to listen," Koenma shook his head.
"Koenma-sama? Who is our 'Minister', then?"
"Well, Father is, of course. Sometimes I'll pretend to be the Minister in his place, but mostly him."
"Ah. That is all."
"Great," Koenma reached over to a control pad wired into a corner of his desk and tapped a button, following which a large screen began to lower behind the three. They faced the television as it extended fully, and then he pressed another button; the screen lit, showing the face of a completely bald, sickeningly pale, nose-less man with red, cattish eyes. "This human magic wielder, or wizard, is Tom Marvolo Riddle. He'd more commonly known as Lord Voldemort, or Voldemort-sama, to the people of Europe, so be used to hearing them call him that."
"He looks like he's died more times than I have…"
"Actually, no – he's only died once," Yusuke gave Koenma a strange look, "But anyway. We have strong reason to believe that he has been summoning demons from the Makai to work for him, either in slavery or in alliance. Part—,"
"Wait, I'm sorry – a human is summoning demons into the Ninginkai, and forcing them—?"
"Magic affects demons, too, Kurama," Kurama frowned. "And there are summoning incantations that can be used to teleport demons; it's just a matter of finding them, let alone using them – such black magic is illegal in Europe, and it is very complicated stuff.
"Besides, nothing above a "C"-class would be weak enough to be pulled through dimensions. Summoning spells are very delicate, not very powerful. And as you should know, weak demons are quite easy to control for someone who knows how to use them."
"Part of your mission is to destroy the incantations used to accomplish this, as well as any demons and/or followers, called 'Death Eaters', of this human. Lord Voldemort himself, if possible. I say if possible because there is a prophet that says there is only one who is destined to kill Voldemort. As I have said, since Reikai has never been on good terms with Magical Europe, we were not monitoring the events that lead up to, nor the release of this prophecy, and therefore have had to rely on rumors. The only reason we are interfering now is because this Lord Voldemort has gotten powerful enough to meddle in the affairs of demons, which is obviously cutting into our line of work.
"This brings us to our next topic; Voldemort has been viciously attempting to murder the one the prophecy states ever since he caught wind of it. The boy in question attends an English magic school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and has currently survived five direct attacks from Voldemort," A new picture flashed onto the screen – one of a teenage boy with bottle-green eyes, glasses, and a scar on his forehead, which bore a strong resemblance to a lightning bolt. The unkemptness of his black hair made Kurama flinch.
"His name is Harry James Potter, he is sixteen years old, and he will be your charge while you are stationed. We want to take extra precautions in the case that Potter-san's lucky streak runs out.
"As you can imagine, it would be very helpful if he were not aware of this, and you will keep it so. You will also keep this little bit of information from every other being you come into contact with there, unless either in case of emergency, which will be decided solely by Kurama, or unless told so directly from me or my father only. I will give you some communicators so that we may keep in touch.
"You will also be keeping secret the fact that you are demons, the fact that you are not sixteen years old, or the fact that you have never had a bit of experience with western magic before this. The arranged excuse is that you were apprenticed to a sensei, and that is how you've learned eastern magic," Kurama and Hiei snorted, "While you did study western magic, you did not actually practice it, due to insufficient supplies – such as wands, potion ingredients, etcetera. We'll give you each a book on such to study over the time before your mission begins – you'll have about a month."
"May I ask another question?"
"Of course, Kurama."
"How are we to use the wands we will supposedly be acquiring?"
"Just like you use your plants, Kurama, or Yusuke his Spirit Gun – generate your demon energy into the wand and say the incantation."
"Thank you. Now, is that all, or…?"
"No – but I'm almost done. You will meet on the second of September in my office at approximately 8:00 PM, where you will be teleported, via dimension, into London, in a back alley close to a wizard's inn by the name of The Leaky Caldron. You enter there, and Hogwarts will have an escort awaiting you, to help you purchase the things you would need for school, and to have you put up in a room for the night. The same escort will be there the next day at 10:00 AM to get you to the train station, where you will then have to find your train and board. Once there, you're school-bound, no problem. You will be starting in the sixth year of school there – equivalent to 10th grade in conventional schooling. You'll be given your train tickets and acceptance letters when you arrive at Reikai. Oh, and also, I suggest you all take a long nap before coming – it'll be noon in London."
"Just a moment – there's an escort? How in the world did you…?"
"Well, I've already confirmed with the school that I would have three Japanese transfer students attending…I just didn't say who they were, in case the three of you bailed…but I'll fix that after you leave."
"Er, now, now, Hiei—,"
"Koenma-sama, I'm loosing my patience again, give us our things and let us leave."
"Of, of course…" Koenma shuffled beneath his desk for a moment, then pulled out two plain, wooden boxes, stacked atop one-another. He placed them on the table, then opened the larger top box, revealing three communicators. Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei each took one without being told.
Koenma placed that box aside and lifted the lid of the remaining box. It was fashioned much the same as the other, except the inside contained three dangling earrings. They each appeared to be made out of solid glass. The demons stared at them hesitantly.
"These are your translators – just insert it into your ear, and you have the ability to communicate in any language; your demon energy will do the rest. The catch is, once you have it on, you must have the language you desire to speak in said so that the sound waves hit the earring directly. This will activate it, and whichever language was spoken will become your primary tongue. I believe you will still be able to speak in Japanese; you'll just have to think about it, first. It resets itself when you remove it."
"And…we must have our ears pierced for these?"
"Of course. Isn't that the point of an earring?"
Harry Potter was eating his breakfast while his best friend, Ron Weasley, sat beside him, doing the same. Across from them were Ginny Weasley, Ron's sister, and next to her Hermione Granger; both were also eating, talking animatedly about something or other. Mrs. Weasley stood at the sink, washing some dishes while she hummed a tune.
One might ask why Harry and his friend Hermione were staying at their friend's, Ron's, house, and that was because Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts and friend to the Weasley family, had seemingly taken pity on Harry and placed him in the Weasleys' care for the remainder of the summer. Hermione accompanied them because it merely seemed fair.
Mr. Weasley in question was out, working the night shift. And as the clever grandfather clock's hand that held the picture of him turned from work, to traveling, to home, the said bounded through the front door, without so much as a Death Eater defensive password or phrase even mentioned. It startled the people in the kitchen/dining room, but their looks of surprise flitted to curiosity when they saw the beaming smile on Mr. Weasley's face.
"Guess what, everyone!"
"Arthur, Dear, what is it, you look…flushed. Is there anything wrong—?"
"Oh no, no, this is very exciting!" Harry was about to ask if it was anything about Voldemort, but quitted the thought when Mr. Weasley belted out, "You lot will have such a fun school year!"
"Dad, stop having a fit and tell us already," Ginny said, spearing some sausage on her fork and popping it into her mouth.
"Foreign students! Who would have ever thought, Hogwarts is taking on foreign students. Think of the—!"
"You act as if we're adopting a pair of muggles," Ron interjected, rolling his yes at Harry.
"Ron, these students could represent an alliance between Japan and England! The whole of Great Britain, for goodness sakes, or Europe! That would defiantly raise our chances of defeating You-Know-Who."
"Japan?" Ginny, and Hermione echoed; though, Hermione sounded more confused than anything.
"Yes! Japan has always been legendary for its magical offence, and it may be just what we need!"
"I don't get it…"
"What, Hermione? You've been muttering that ever since we left breakfast, and it's annoying!" Ron groaned, shifting on his back as to catch the sunlight more efficiently; Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny were all outside, enjoying the beautiful, sunny day, and their full stomachs.
"Well…what I can't understand is, why would Japan want anything to do with us? Magical Europe and Magical Japan have never gotten along, let alone England, as both the cultures and religions have always been extremely different from each other. The last time the Magical Japan spoke with the Magical England was in the early 1600's, when the two ministers had a nasty fight about the extinction of demons. I read that Japan was pretty sore about England thinking they had exterminated them all, and that they had decided to stop holding festivals to drive away evil demons."
"What?" Harry interrupted, "Demons are extinct? What about kelpies, and—?"
"Well, yes, those are demons, but the kind I'm talking about had a sort of human form, though with horns and green skin, things like that. I guess you could compare them to centaurs – they could talk and everything, just like them, except they were always evil; that was the reason the whole of Europe wished to be rid of the creatures, and that's also another one of the arguments Japan and England had. You see, the Japanese supposedly believe that there are good demons and bad demons, just like there are bad centaurs and good centaurs, and destroying all of them would be horrible."
"So, who was right, the Japanese or the English?" Ron stunned everyone by propping himself up on his elbows and staring curiously at Hermione.
She continued, somewhat surprised, "Well, the English, of course. There were no accounts of 'good' demons anywhere in Europe, so even if there were such things, that would mean they would have never left Japan, then or now. Which is incredible."
"So…moral of the story is…?" Harry had somewhat forgotten the purpose of the conversation…
Hermione huffed. "The 'moral' is, I don't see any reason for Japan to suddenly warm up to England, and therefore, there is no reason for Japanese students to want to study here, let alone help us out!"
"Hermione, I think you're over-analyzing this," Ginny said, smirking. "Maybe they're just interested after not communicating for four hundred-plus years. It's not like Japan's sending a group of teenage spies over to eliminate us. That would be mad."
"Koenma-sama"; I hate it when people write / to write with random phrases of Japanese popping out of the English. However, since I am a hypocrite, I make an exception for names of things, 'coz those are just fun, honorifics, 'coz those are too, and for exclamations, because I love interjections. But only from Japanese persons – you won't find me having Ron or somebody popping out, "Yatta!"
Which, yes, I have seen before.
It was terrifying. I hadn't known Harry could speak Japanese.
"'I am resuming college at the end of the summer, and I will not be putting it off to learn magic tricks instead.'"; In Japan, they change grades in the spring time, go to school for a trimester, take summer vacation, and then resume school. Correct me if I'm wrong.
"Botany"; Yes, very original of me for making Kurama want to study Botany for college. But hey, the whole Hogwarts idea is just so damn original, I decided to kill two birds with one stone.
"'Well, Hiei, you did help in the murder of Sensui, didn't you?'"; Yeah, I know, cheesy and completely unrealistic that such would be legitimate blackmail, but god dammit, it's a helluva' lot more realistic then some of the crap you'll see on here…not necessarily in the same circumstances, but…
"'Foreign students! Who would have ever thought, Hogwarts is taking on foreign students. Think of the—!'"; Mr. Weasley knows this the day "the Boys" do because as Koenma said, he'd already informed and got permission from Hogwarts that people were coming there. The Ministry of Magic found out a little later.
"'I hear Japan was pretty sore about England thinking they had exterminated them all, and had decided to stop holding festivals to drive away evil demons.'"; Not sure where I got this, but for some reason or another, the Japanese hold festivals, primarily at the spring equinox, to ward off evil demons or spirits, mostly oni. As Mordamir wonderfully pointed out, so did Europe – we called it Halloween now-days (or, if you're "different" like me, Hallows Eve).
Of course, Halloween is no longer a kill-your-evil-spirit holiday any more, so in accordance to this story, it's because all the evil spirits "died".