Before Your Love

First posted on Destined where my sn is venus567
Disclaimer :Please note not I own nothing! Song: Before Your Love by Kelly Clarkson

Today was New Years Eve. Samantha knew she would probably spend it alone again. The past few years had been tough for Martin, just like the first three years they had known each other had been tough for her.

One thought occurred to her, was that she never really lived until Martin came along.

I wonder how I ever made it through a day
How did I settle for a world in shades of gray
When you go in circles all the scenery looks the same
And you don't know why
Then I looked into your eyes
Where the road stretched out in front of me,
And I realized

Although they were no longer together, just simply seeing what Martin had gone through had made her realize she had been wasting her time by dwelling with her insecurities. Life was full of ups and downs, why not enjoy the ride?

I never lived before your love
I never felt before your touch
I never needed anyone to make me feel alive
But then again I wasn't really living
I never lived before your love

Samantha paused as she stared down at the Hudson River. She had wasted so much time with guys like Keller and Jack and of course her first husband. It was doomed from the start but she never realized those flings were not worth it.
Seeing Martin going through the pain and later the addiction made her realize what was like to almost lose everything that really mattered.

She was thirty-four years old and yet only a few years ago had really started to live her life.

I wanted more than just an ordinary life
All of my dreams seemed like castles in the sky
I stand before you and my heart is in your hands
And I don't know how
I survived without your kiss
'Cause you've given me a reason to exist

Martin was fine now, she didn't need to keep an eye out that he would relapse from being clean from the pills. She wondered if those sparks of dreams that started to come shortly before their break-up would ever amount to anything. Would Martin consider an another try with their relationship?

She found her answer when she arrived at her apartment. Martin stood outside holding a brown bag, most likely filled with take-out from their favorite Chinese place.

I never lived before your love
I never felt before your touch
I never needed anyone to make me feel alive
But then again I wasn't really living
I never lived
I never lived
Before your love

" What brings you here stranger?," Samantha inquired with a smile.

Martin smiled back at her. His dimples showed, meaning it was genuine.

" I'm here to celebrate New Years Eve. with a Miss Samantha Spade but it seems like she's out," Martin joked.

" Well, no worries I can let you in if you are willing to share the contents of that bag," she hinted.

Martin grinned.

" Sure why not? You seem like a very beautiful young lady," Martin quipped.

She smiled as she unlocked the door. She would tell him tonight.
Truly before his love she had never really lived to the fullest.