Kotori smiled shyly as he closed the door to his room behind him. Akaiwa sat perched on the bed, returning Kotori's smile with blinding force as he took the soda Kotori handed him.

"So, your brother's gone for a week?" Akaiwa asked, his voice sounding unconcerned. Kotori knew exactly where the conversation was heading, the thought bringing a warm blush to his face.

"Yeah."

"And he's really gone this time?"

Kotori's blush deepened as he remembered how Kujaku had almost walked in on them together last time they were alone together. They hadn't gotten very far that time, because of the interruption, but maybe now...

"Yeah, he's really gone. I saw him off at the airport with a friend of his." Kotori tried to be casual as he sat next to Akaiwa on the bed, but he knew their minds were both heading to the same place.

"Ah." Relief was visible in Akaiwa's posture, covered with an affected layer of unconcern.

Kotori was the first to turn, surprising Akaiwa with a light kiss on his lips. He'd wanted to do this so many times since their last night together, but Kujaku or someone else was always around. It was difficult, hiding his feeling all the time, but he wouldn't give up their relationship for anything in the world.

Akaiwa kissed back, taking control after a moment. His hand came up to hold the back of Kotori's head, his fingers carding through Kotori's short hair. Kotori parted his lips in a light gasp, the breech giving Akaiwa advantage to slip his tongue inside Kotori's mouth. He let himself be pushed down, reveling in Akaiwa's weight on top of them as their hands suddenly sprang into life. It seemed like suddenly they couldn't stop touching each other, the early lack of contact spurring them into a frenzy to make up for the lost time. Akaiwa's hands were under his shirt, pushing the fabric up roughly to expose Kotori's chest.

Their kiss was broken as Akaiwa moved away just enough to help Kotori pull his shirt off, a light blush on Kotori's face as his chest was exposed. His hands trembled slightly, he wasn't sure if it was from nervousness or excitement, as he slowly undid the buttons on Akaiwa's shirt. Akaiwa was smiling at him, a look of gentle peace that seemed to melt Kotori's anxiety away. He returned the smile, their eyes meeting as he slipped Akaiwa's shirt from his shoulders.

Kotori laid back, the fabric of the sheets scratching his bare back. Akaiwa followed him down, kissing the side of Kotori's face while his hands brushed lower, drawing idle patterns on the side of his hips before circling the waistline of his pants. Arching his back, he kept his hips off the bed long enough for Akaiwa to unfasten the button on his jeans, sliding down the zipper, and then slipping his hands under the edges to pull the rest of Kotori's clothes down his body. He couldn't help the blush that stained his face as Akaiwa pulled away to look at him. He kept his eyes averted, his earlier nervousness returning as he returned the favor for his boyfriend. Akaiwa naked was... well, it was more than he'd ever imagined, more than he'd hoped from and for some reason he just couldn't stop staring at...

"Is it really that interesting?"

Kotori's eyes snapped back up to Akaiwa's face, and he felt himself flaming hot with embarrassment at Akaiwa's cocky smirk. "I..." He wanted to explain, to make some excuse that would make him seem like less of a... he wasn't sure what he was.

"It's okay." Akaiwa kissed him on the forehead, his patronizing tone earning him a swat on the arm from Kotori.

"Don't make fun of me." He didn't think he could handle Akaiwa making fun of him when they were like this. He wanted... something. He wanted to be closer, but he wasn't sure how to go about asking.

"I won't," Akaiwa promised, sealing the words with a kiss. Then his hands were on Kotori, fingers dragging down his chest towards his hips, and Kotori arched almost-unconsciously up into the touch.

They were kissing again, the connection starting out soft and gentle until their bodies met and then it was like they couldn't get enough. Kotori was moving, urgently, erratically, trying to shove his hips up towards Akaiwa's so that he could recreate that electric spark they'd found between them. His hands were twisted around Akaiwa's back and he was using all his strength to keep them together, clutching desperately at whatever expanse of skin he could reach.

"Wait." The word didn't make sense the first time Akaiwa said it. They were finally alone, together, like this. Why would Akaiwa want to wait? But then he said it again, pulling back and Kotori couldn't keep the look of hurt from his face as Akaiwa turned away to reach for his pants.

"Why?" Kotori was hurt. Why was Akaiwa pulling away so suddenly when he'd been the one so insistent about it in the first place? Why...

Akaiwa turned around, his face falling when he saw Kotori, and then he was back, kissing Kotori's face insistently. "No, I'm not mad or upset or anything. Don't do that Kotori."

"But..." He was scared, insecurities flaring up when Akaiwa tried to leave and he thought...

Akaiwa held up his hand, the one that had been reaching for his pants, and showed Kotori the two objects he'd retrieved from his pocket.

"Oh." Kotori's insecurity was gone, shifted instead to embarrassment as he realized what Akaiwa was doing. Of course he'd want to... do 'that'. They'd talked, briefly, last time about it and so it was obvious in retrospect that they'd need... preparation.

"We good?" Akaiwa kissed the side of his face, hands stroking reassuringly down Kotori's side.

"Yeah." Kotori nodded once, shifting under Akaiwa until they were back like before. He blushed, feeling a little too wanton as he spread his legs to fit Akaiwa between them.

Akaiwa smiled before shifting until they were pressed together once more, chest to chest and hips to hips. "Relax, okay?"

Kotori nodded, his eyes closing as Akaiwa kissed him again, working back towards their earlier frenzy of emotion. He heard Akaiwa fumbling around, opening the wrapper and slipping the condom onto himself. In his head Kotori pictured the rubber rolling down Akaiwa's erection, and he thought, maybe next time he'd like to try it himself. He wondered what it would feel like. It'd looked big and soon it would...

His thought was interrupted as Akaiwa touched him and he jumped slightly in surprise as one of his boyfriend's fingers suddenly started to push inside. His eyes came open then and he gasped, clutching at Akaiwa's back as he tried to calm himself. Akaiwa murmured to him, his voice low and reassuring, accompanied by his other hand stroking gently against his stomach.

"It's okay," Akaiwa repeated and Kotori forced himself to relax as he let Akaiwa inside of him. He wanted it, he knew that, wanted it so badly. They just had to get over the... his breath caught as another finger pushed inside, the invasion not so much painful as really, really odd, more so when they started moving and... they just had to get past that and then they'd be together, really together the way couples were supposed to be.

Akaiwa's kisses distracted him, covering his face and then pushing inside his mouth until he forgot what he was supposed to be nervous about. When Akaiwa finally pushed himself inside it was like they'd finally found the balance between them. Kotori sighed, his body going weightlessly limp while Akaiwa waited, holding still inside of him for some unknown signal. A shaky breath slipped from Kotori's lips and then Akaiwa was moving.

Beyond that there was just pleasure. Akaiwa was moving and it was the most perfect thing he'd ever felt. He knew he was saying something, making all sorts of uncool and embarrassing noises, every sound that came out of his mouth needy and full of pleasure, but he couldn't help it. They were so good like this, so perfect, and Kotori couldn't doubt their relationship when they were like this. They were meant to do this, meant to find this special connection.

Opening his eyes Kotori stared up at Akaiwa, surprised at the blush on his lover's face, a paler version of his own bright crimson. They were both a little uncomposed right now, but that was fine. They didn't need to impress each other, not anymore.

Kotori could feel himself getting closer. It felt like he was reaching, stretching out both of his hands for something that he couldn't see, couldn't feel, couldn't touch. Then Akaiwa moved, thrusting hard into him, and it was right there in his grasp. He spasmed, body arching off the bed as he let himself go with the pleasure.

Akaiwa's forehead was pressed against his forehead by the time their breathing finally slowed down. Kotori was the first to move, stretching his body and then regretting it as the move only shot another jolt of pleasure straight through him. A kiss against his shoulder signaled that Akaiwa was back to reality and they slowly untangled themselves, the used condom tossed into the little trash can beside Kotori's bed.

A sweaty face smiled down to him, eyes soft as Akaiwa kissed away the tears that had formed at the corner of Kotori's eyes. He returned the smile, happier than he could ever remember being.

"We look totally uncool," Akaiwa said with a smile, his forehead knocking lightly against Kotori's.

"Yeah," Kotori agreed, "but I like it better this way."