Disclaimer: The song "Man! I feel like a Woman" is Shania Twain's. Harry Potter & Co., belong to JK Rowling, and David Weasely and some of the other characters are borrowed from whydoyouneedtoknow. Other real life people mentioned in the story are the sole owners of themselves. The idea was a joint effort between myself and Eirwen555. This was beta'ed and made better by my lovely friend Hestia Hesperus. Thank you ever so much, my dear.

The Adventures of Twinkle-Toes and Harem Boy


"Why You Don't Get a Dangerverse Woman Mad"

In an unused classroom, in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry…

"No way!" David shouted. "I'm NOT wearing that!"

"Oh yes, you are David Weasley! You should have thought of that before you got Su and I angry!" his wife, Lauren, said in response.

In her hand she held pink… and silk…

In another part of the castle…

"What are you thinking?!" Terry yelled.

"What were YOU thinking?!" Su said in reply. "YOU were the one who said what you did. YOU were the one who knew what Lauren and I would do, now YOU are the one who has to deal with the consequences! So now you will do EXACTLY what Lauren and I tell you to do!"

She held up a baby-blue dress with glitter...lots of glitter.

"You're kidding me, right?"

She shook her head. "Put it on, Twinkle-Toes!"

Two girls walked into the Great Hall of Hogwarts. One was a brunette and very tall, especially compared to the other, an Asian with black hair hanging down a little past her shoulders. Climbing up onto the stage, they claimed the attention of most of the audience, which seemed to be just about all of the wizarding world. The taller of the two, pulled a microphone towards her.

"Witches and wizards, boys and girls, welcome to our show! I'm Lauren Weasley, and this--" she gestured to the Asian girl, "--Is Su Boot. Just so you know the history behind this, Terry Boot and David Weasely were being, well, rather thick-headed the other night."

The other girl, Su, took the mic. "So we decided that they needed to be punished."

At this time, a third girl leapt onto the stage. She, unlike the others, was red-headed, and had the distinct air of being well-read.

"Good evening, everyone, I'm Celi Lupin," she said. "Through some helpful suggestions from their friends, Su and Lauren finally decided what would be the perfect way to get back at their respective husbands. So, without further ado, Su and Lauren are pleased to present to you--their husbands!"

Two young men walked out onto the stage from either side, amid many wolf-whistles and howls.

"Oh. My. Gosh. Are those REAL?" Selena Moon cried out.

"What are you wearing, Terry?" asked Roger Davies, her fiancé, making both boys blush as red as David's hair.

Su took the microphone from Celi. "Terry Boot is wearing the latest fashion in embarrassment garb! A blue dress, going up to about his mid thigh, complete with lots and lots of glitter. Give us a spin there, Terry! And on his feet, Terry is sporting blue shoes with white bulbs on the tips. Oh! And I insisted he shave his legs, much to his annoyance."

The audience broke out into laughter afresh as Lauren took the microphone back from Su.

"And David is wearing pink silk, and lots of it! Dressed in wide pants, elaborate eye makeup, and pink slippers, he's dressed in the look that many girls would die for. Give us a little strut there, David! And as you can see, he is also sporting cornrows in his hair as a part of his punishment."

Among the many people sniggering in their seats, David's parents turned to one another.

"What could David have done to get Lauren so mad at him? She's usually such a sweet girl," muttered Ron, trying to smother a laugh.

"I know," Hermione whispered. "It's always the quiet ones…"

A few rows behind them, Adam Hufflepuff turned to his wife, Britnee. "Remind me never to get you mad, love."

"Heck, yes! If that's what Su and Lauren can come up with, think about what I could do!" Brit laughed.

"Er, yeah," Adam said, paling a bit at the thought.

Celi took the mic, leaving Su and Lauren to reclaim their seats in the front of the audience. "And now," she said, a broad smile on her face, "In their wizarding world debut, please give a big round of applause for the vocal stylings of David Weasley and Terry Boot!"

She handed the microphone to David and leapt lightly from the stage. A storm of applause and many catcalls reached the ears of the two men as every eye in the room turned upon them. Several loud pulses of music came from speakers hidden throughout the Great Hall, reverberating throughout the walls and the floor. Even the luminous gray clouds of the star-studded ceiling seemed to grumble with the bass.

Turning a beet red, David mumbled, "Oh, this is so humiliating…" but the sensitive mic picked it up anyway.

Terry opened his mouth to respond, but all that came out was a bright tenor voice, and the beginning of the song...

"I'm going out tonight--I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out.
Wanna make some noise--really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout!"

Terry began to strut around the stage with David doing backup dancing behind him.

"No inhibitions--make no conditions
Get a little outta line,
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time...
"The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun--!"

"--Fun, fun!" David finished as he joined the song.

Both boys began to sing in unison as the song picked up tempo and began the chorus.

"Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy--forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts,
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild--yeah, doin' it in style!
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action--feel the attraction
Color my hair--do what I dare,
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free--yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!"

David grinned and was just about to take the lead when Su suddenly stood up. "Oh crap, stop the music!" she cried, and the music ripped to a stop. "I forgot Terry's wings!"

With a flick of her wand, a pair of iridescent wings attached themselves to Terry's back.
"That's more like it! Start the music!"

David nodded, and looking like a man condemned, opened his mouth as blaring music filled the Hall once more.

"The girls need a break--tonight we're gonna take
The chance to get out on the town
We don't need romance--we only wanna dance
We're gonna let our hair hang down!
"The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun--!"

"--Fun, fun!" Terry finished, re-joining the song.

Again, the boys sang in unison as the song swung back into the chorus.

"Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy--forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild--yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action--feel the attraction
Color my hair--do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free--yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!"

"The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun!"

Terry looked over at David who, in turn, glanced back at him. They both shook their heads and sighed.

"Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy--forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts--short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild--yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action--feel the attraction
Color my hair--do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free--yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!"

Finally getting into the spirit of the song, David strutted across the stage, much to the delight of Dean Thomas, who had planned on sketching this marvelous experience.

In the center, Terry made a few turns, showing off his newly-shaven legs.

"I get totally crazy," David sang.

"Can you feel it?" Terry joined in.

Then both boys turn towards their girls in sudden inspiration and sang the last two lines of the song.

"Come, come, come on baby!
I feel like a WOMAN!"

This last part they shouted out as the music came to an end. As one, the audience leapt to their feet and the Great Hall resounded with the wild burst of applause and cheers. With matching grins, David and Terry joined hands and bowed deeply, making the girls in front scream louder. When they came back up again, they beckoned towards the front row where their wives were doubled up with laughter.

Su and Lauren blanched, but Hestia Hesperus sitting next to them was able to push them up on stage, all the while trying to contain her own laughter.

Terry and David reached down to help their respective girls up and Lauren took the mic from David.

"Thank you all for giving up your night to come as see us humiliate our boys!" she said, gazing fondly at David. Below them, the audience was still cheering for an encore, their upturned faces ones of joy.

"Now, we can't have an encore tonight--" she began, but was cut off by a wave of protest. "--BUT we'll save that for the NEXT time they screw up!"

"So I think that that went rather well, don't you?" Lauren asked
David later that night.

"Maybe for YOU it did…" David grumbled in reply. "Can you help me
with this top, please?"

"Perhaps… Harem Boy!" Lauren teased, starting to laugh. She went over to help David with the zipper on the back of his top, wondering how many times he had done the same thing for her...

"Erm… Harem Boy?" he asked, turning away from her.

"Yeah! I think it's cute, don't you?"

"Well, you would…" he replied, yanking off the top. It was then that he remembered something he had seen while they were performing.

"Erm… Lauren?"


"Are my parents here?"

"Yeah, along with Esther and your brothers...and Johnny and Celi Lupin, Harry and Ginny Potter, Dean and Lindz Thomas..." She came to a stop once she noticed that his face was turning colors she didn't even know existed. Then, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, she added, "Plus, Dean offered to paint us a picture commemorating the occasion! And he's going to make it have sound and everything, like some Muggle pictures do!"

"That traitor!" yelped David.

"No, that 'smart man'," Lauren contradicted.


"Oh, David, he's just trying to get points for later! You know that every man screws up...he's just trying to make sure that Lindz doesn't do anything like this to him! But everyone else was there...Andrew and Arianna, Catie and Cassidy, Yuhan and Liam...
should I go on?"

David just hid his face in his hands and sighed.

"So am I forgiven now?" he mumbled, and fell into a chair. Lauren moved around him to sit down in his lap.

"Well, that depends," she said. "Will you give me a private concert tonight?"

Later, in the real world...

"So, Twinkle-Toes, did you have fun?" Su asked later that morning, as she and Terry made the bed.

"Oh, shut up," he retorted, yanking the sheets up to the headboard.

"Make me!" she replied, and Terry did exactly that.

"What a nice way to be shut up..." Su said later. Terry sighed in agreement.

A Short Note: You most likely won't understand this unless you have read "Living with Danger" by whydoyouneedtoknow, and it's sequals, and even then you may not get it. This was a dream story, inspired by the Dangerverse Addicts (DA) and whydoyouneedtoknow's Yahoo group. Friends of mine, and I, have laid claim to certian "free men" in both Harry Potter Canon, and Dangerverse.

This is one of my first stories on here, but I plan to put some of my other songfics and one shots up soon. Please leave a review and let me know what you think!