Here's installment one, just a situation that came to mind after I just BARELY got away from Darth Sion on Korriban 1st time I played. If anyone wants to suggest other swear words that exist in the SW universe so I could be a little more diverse in Atton's language I would very much appreciate it. Also if there are any back-story inaccuracies PLEASE let me know. One more thing, the exile will ALWAYS be refered to as 'her' to allow for you to mentally insert any name you please, but her face is anglo with the dark brown hair in a pony tail just for appearance reference. That said, enjoy
The Problem with Kolto
All I could think of was how what an absolute waste of life, limb and time this whole excursion had been, the Jedi we had come to find was dead! Cursing our luck I was about to mutter another frustrated comment to her when her exhausted sigh caused me to look over at her. Her eyes were barely open as her legs gave out, and I barely had time to catch her before she would've hit the ginger rubble.
Her war buddy looked over his shoulder, concern crossing his face as he stepped towards us "I got her." I mumbled as I slid my right arm under her, legs, and oh god what legs did she have… I mentally shook myself. She trusts you with her life, so she trusts you not to ogle at her unconscious body. As I stood up I grunted slightly due to the massive amount of armor she had plated herself with. Krit, weren't Jedi supposed to wear light robes or something like that? I nodded to Bao-Dur and the droid and we continued back to the Ebon Hawk.
As we trudged I glanced down at her, and it became more then obvious why she collapsed. The heavy armor she wore was cracked in multiple places, exposing her flesh to what looked like multiple lightsaber burns, not to mention she had a pretty nasty gash across her temple, and with the weight on the armor after all the fighting…
"Take off her armor."
I snapped my head up in response not only because Bao-Dur had talked, but what he said.
"That armor has to make her heavy, and it's probably hard for her to breathe with it on. So take it off."
It was hard to not let my stupor show on my face. I guess since he served under her in the military he only saw the practicality of the matter, but, seeing her again like the first time…Half of me wanted to chuckle happily like the rogue I was, while the half that remembered Kreia's threats wanted to retch.
"I could do it if you don't feel comfortable."
"I, uh-, I mean, I, I can do it."
I set her down as gently as I could set down a 180 lb weight, apparently not gentle enough though, I winced at her groan when her head hit the ground. Thankfully the physical effort of the task covered my being short of breath. So much had changed since she ran into the Peragus Mining prison in her underwear, looking more like a lost exotic dancer or frightened animal then a jedi.
Her labored sigh brings me out of my thoughts and onto the task at hand. Oh krit where do I start?
"The chest plate secures in the back, I'll sit her up while you unfasten it."
I nodded dumbly as Bao-Dur sat her up gently. I bit my tongue to try and get my damn hands to stop shaking as I fumbled with the various straps. Finally the plates slumped forward on her shoulders. Now I could see a slender strip of skin between the sections of armor, and as Bao-Dur pulled the chest plate away her whole back was exposed to me, I felt a small wave of relief when she started taking deeper, easier breaths. My stupid nervousness was then quickly replaced with awe as my eyes traced the dozens of scars that marred her skin. Without thinking I reached up to trace one, but my finger never quite made it,
"There, that should be much better, I'll take the chest plate. Once we get back to the Ebon Hawk she should go right into a kolto tank."
I nodded dumbly once again and picked her up again, amazed at how much lighter she was. I glanced at her face again, while before she looked like she was still in pain, now she looked at least relaxed, if not peaceful…
"The sooner we get back the sooner we can get the general in a tank."
Again I pulled my head out of my hazy thoughts and back to reality, quickening my steps to catch up with Bao-Dur
I'm actually quite proud to say that I managed to get all the way back to the Ebon Hawk without looking at her body once, it actually wasn't until I had to hand her to Bao-Dur so I could start the lift-off sequence that I noticed that she wasn't wearing the skin tight little body suit of dark cloth from before, rather, a very modest amount of bandaging encircled her slender torso, leaving very VERY little unexposed. I ran for the cockpit.
An hour later, once we were safely in hyper-space on our way to Nar-Shadaa, the next planet on our list, I told her little droid to find me if anything changed and headed back to our own little medbay.
I guess I didn't really know what to expect when I walked in, but it certainly wasn't her floating in the tank the some top and underwear which offered equally modest coverage. Krit, her hair was even down, floating about her like something from an adult holo. The worst thing though, was that her eyes were half lidded in a lethargically seductive expression. Granted it was slightly marred by the bulky black breathing mask.
At first it had been confusing to me WHY she was so attractive. Really, physically, she wasn't a drop dead gorgeous woman, her lean figure allotted very little in the way of womanly curves, and she certainly didn't have flawless skin. Still didn't changed the fact that I had gotten a hard on in a battle or two when I looked over at her and saw that heated fervor radiating off of her. Force-sensitive or no, I could see an aura of righteous fire blazing off her, and whatever it was about her made her beautiful to almost anyone who looked at her. My eyebrows furrowed as I thought of that stupid philosopher we picked up on Dantooine.
I slowly walked up to the tank, the eerie blue tint of the liquid in the tank accenting every firm line of muscle of her bruised body. It suddenly seemed to get quiet, totally silent except the sounds of the ship, then, she started screaming bloody murder.
I had heard her cry out in pain before on the Harbringer, but it was nothing like this, her body was arched and her head tilted back, her aqueous surroundings doing little to deafen her screams. Thinking something was wrong with the tank, I quickly shut if off and threw open the door, the precious kolto liquid hitting me like a wave as I reached out to again catch her. I fumbled to remove the breathing mask awkwardly with one hand as I tried to settle us on the floor with the other while yelling for someone to help. Dammit where was that maintenance droid!?
Her eyes suddenly shot open, shooting about wildly as she continued her wordless screams, her hands suddenly shooting up to cup over her ears, then her eyes.
"Ah krit, what is this? Come on! Snap out of it! What's wrong!? Hey! HEY!"
Suddenly she relaxed, she blinked several times as she seemed to finally become aware of her surroundings, her eyes finally found mine and I felt my stomach plunge at the raw fear and pain in her eyes. She threw her arms around my neck and started sobbing into my shoulder.
My mind was still reeling as it tried to string the past events into a logical explanation, but automatically I brought my arms up to hold her, staring clueless at the wall in front of me. After a while I stopped trying to make sense of it and tucked my head over hers, slowly rubbing her back as we sat in a puddle of kolto.
After ten minutes or so her sobs slowed, and after a nervous gulped I plucked up the nerve to ask,
Her sobs finally stopped as stuttered, "I, I dreamt about, when, when they, it-"
I cut her off before she had to finish "It's okay, I, I understand. You don't have to say anymore." Really I still had no clue what was bothering her, but it was obvious that she didn't want to say it. She suddenly started muttering softly into my shoulder.
"It was like waking up and feeling that some part of your body had been ripped out, I felt like I was suddenly in a dark, silent vaccum. I used to hear the pulse of the universe every time I closed me eyes, and it was gone…"
Ah, THAT'S what she was dreaming about.
"But, why were you screaming? You sounded like you were being electrocuted."
There was a long pause before her answer, I began to mentally kick myself for asking when she replied in a voice that was barely above a whisper "It was like I was suddenly blind deaf and dumb, I was out of my mind with panic and fear. I thought someone was attacking me through my head, choking me, I was fighting like an animal to try and get it back…but it never came back," she then finally pulled away and looked up at me, "until that day on Peragus."
Her were so bright at that moment, whether it was from her tears, or her hope I didn't know. I just knew that I may not ever have her alone with me like this ever again. So I kissed her. Yes dammit, I kissed her. I don't know if I did it for my satisfaction, or for her comfort, but I did it nonetheless. Her lips were salty, bitter from her tears but soft. For a long moment she didn't respond and I began to panic, waiting for the lightsaber to plunge through my gut as I began to pull away, then she let out a contented sigh and her lips moved under mine. Without another thought I groaned softly and pulled her as tightly as I could against my chest, her muscled frame matching mine. The kiss itself was slightly awkward from her lack of experience, but she eventually fell into a pattern of mimicking my actions to the best of her abilities.
When we momentarily parted for air I caught a glimpse of her half lidded eyes, the intense mix of blue and gray overwhelmed me like nothing else. My lips grabbed hers again and something within her seemed to unlock as she suddenly grabbed onto me with equal fervor and her lips started moving in their own curious but nonetheless pleasurable explorations. And we stayed that way for a while, when the inevitable happened. My hands were curling through her dripping wet hair and running up and down her back when she suddenly, and very forcefully I might add, shoved herself back from me, looking at me as if I had just morphed into a sith lord.
"Atton, I'm, I mean, well je-"
I felt my face dead-pan, and I heard it in my voice as well, "Yeah I know, jedi don't have emotional attachments," I growled as I brought my hands back down to my sides and stood up, realizing how wet I was and how bad I probably smelled from the kolto liquid. I offered a hand to help her up since I knew she couldn't be fully recovered by now. She looked guiltily up at me; dammit she looked fucking adorable like that, as she accepted my hand, raising herself onto her weak legs. After a moment I was satisfied she could stand and turned to walk out when I heard the sound of liquid splashing and her crying out. I turned just into time to, for the third time that day, catch her so she wouldn't injure herself further. I couldn't stop myself from mumbling grumpily, "Krit aren't you Jedi also supposed to be relatively graceful?" I looked down at her again and she was glaring at me! She had the nerve to glare at me!
"That wasn't what I was going to say Atton."
All weakness was gone from her voice, it even had that slightly dangerous edge from when we had first met. She finally stood up completely, but didn't let go of my arms.
"You're right, the jedi code doesn't allow for emotional attachments but there are other reasons beside conflicts of interest. Jedi don't make very…safe partners. Trust me, if it were just matter of the code we wouldn't be in here still."
I blinked, "Well between being followed around by sith lords, taking out every local crime boss that crosses our path and putting up with the witch, I would agree."
She just rolled her eyes at me in frustration, "I mean partners as in lovers nerfherder."
My eyebrows shot up, lovers? Krit I was content with what we were doing, not that I minded the idea…
"Well, I think if I can stay alive being your fighting companion I can survive-"
"You don't understand, any relationship beyond friendship with a force sensitive person is…different."
"What, is it better?"
That earned me a slap across the head.
"Would you let me finish?"
I nodded dumbly.
"In the little time and respect I've devoted to Kreia, I've already developed a possibly lethal bond with her. How amplified do you think that bond would be with us?"
"But I'm not force sensitive-"
"It doesn't matter! What I mean is, everyone is force sensitive to some degree, and as I grow more and more connected to the force, and if I grew closer and closer to you…"
I paled and angered at the same time, I had been cheated out of many things in my life, and I probably deserved it, but this- My furious thoughts stopped when she cupped my cheek, her eyes were gentle now, more gentle then I had ever seen them. All I could do was set my forehead against hers as my arms snaked around her waist, and sigh.
"So do we just keep going as we have been?
She sighed and moved into my embrace, her arms winding around my neck as her cheek pressed against mine.
"I don't know if that's an option Atton. To be honest I have no idea what to do from here, the Jedi code doesn't exactly describe situations like these. I think your face is too associated with mine now to just drop you off on Nar-Shadaa…but…"
My stomach plummeted at the mere mention of the idea, and I held her a little tighter, despite the fact that she was dismissing it, but I had to say something.
"What if we just take it slow?" I had never heard my own voice sound that…tender "and as you reconnect, maybe you can learn to control it, dampen it some." I felt her fidget a little as she considered this. It was tempting to stroke her back, give her that little encouragement to tip my way, but this had to be her choice and purely hers. I may have done some awful things in my life, but I will not have it I've taken advantage of a woman.
"Ku'tul, shieknakta, shelli kulla hilii. Voro na, tishak hilii, le kushnida."
Her muttered words, while beautiful, made no sense to me, "What?"
She chuckled, "while at the academy we were required to learn a language from an outer rim planet of our choice, I chose a desert planet called Tatooine, in their native language that meant 'darling I don't think I could let you go. And I know you can't let me go."
It was my turn to chuckle, "So why this planet, Tatooine? It's nothing but a desert base for smugglers and hutts."
"Because a slight variation of my last name means 'one who walks in the air' in the native tongue there. But Atton," she pulled back to look at me, "slow, very slow. As in nothing more tonight, or for a while."
I mock sighed and tightened my grip on her, "And here my lady, is where I must be a scoundrel."
With that I stole one last long kiss trying to imprint the feeling of her into my mind for further fantasies purposes. Everything from the pressure of her hips against mine to the fact that her hair reached her shoulders when down whittled itself into my brain until she pulled away, gently this time and sighed up at me.
"Asshole." I had never heard more affection put into the word as she unwound herself from me and left the room.
After a few moments, after the glow of the past half an hour wore off, I realized two things. One, she had left me to clean up the liquid and refill the kolto tank. Two, she was walking around the ship in those little scraps. Dammit where was that philosopher?
Tada! First one done. If I get around to editing it, expect another update tomorrow, but don't count on it. Review are very much appreciated.
CN: Anrui Yuy.