Note: I wrote this one-shot in honor of the year 2007, the Year of the Boar! And also because I've wanted to do something FruitsBasket-related for some time now. Kagura's serious and emotional side is going to be shown in this fan-fic, so don't expect to see her bubbly and cheerful like she usually is. So please read and review. Thank you!
Disclaimer: I do not own FruitsBasket. But if I did, then you'd be seeing a lot more of Yuki Sohma! ;)
Cry On Me
"Kagura, Kagura, you're such a stupid fool." Akito turned his piercing gaze towards me, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips.
I folded my hands nervously on my lap and said nothing. I felt so vulnerable, so naked kneeling here before Akito. He was everything I feared and yet I had to endure him. I couldn't speak out against him, I couldn't defy him. The dark room sent chills down my spine, and a shaky breath escaped my pale lips.
He approached me again, crouching down beside me.
"Didn't I tell you, Kagura?" he whispered. "Didn't I tell you not to trust a monster with your heart?"
"I…" My voice broke off into more silence. That seemed to satisfy him.
"Of course, I should have expected you to misunderstand. How could a pathetic girl like you possibly comprehend love?" Akito laughed to himself. "I should have realized that you'd continue to pester that monster with your feelings. It's amusing, really. The people you truly care about want nothing to do with you, and those who love you are simply hurt."
"That's not true," I protested weakly.
"Of course it's true. I say it's so," Akito ordered me calmly. "The monster has betrayed your love. And your mother's love for you has caused her to only grieve and worry. Your father gave up on you and your mother long ago. Now I can't help think that that's because of you. Isn't it, Kagura?" he hissed into my ear.
I shivered as his icy breath settled on my neck.
"I didn't mean to," I pleaded. "It wasn't like I wanted them to fight."
"No, of course not," Akito smiled coldly. "But you did want someone to throw all of your burdens onto, someone you could look down on. Someone far more miserable than yourself. A monster."
My frightened brown eyes stared into Akito's for a brief moment. His dark eyes flickered at me mockingly, enjoying the pain written on my features. He had found the one thing I had guarded so intensely all these years. He had ripped from me the one dirty secret I had hidden. My horrible truth lay bare before me, and I couldn't deny it.
"I could never hurt him…" I began.
"No, but you could use him as you pleased. Smothering him in your fake love won't make him care for you. After all, you couldn't even accept his true form. What a wicked, conniving girl you are, Kagura! Isn't that just like a woman? People are nothing but empty vessels to you, bereft of soul and dignity, simply there for you to cry on. How terribly selfish." He stood up and began to finger a chime that hung by the window.
"You know," he continued. "You can't beat her. She's too perfect, too angelic, for a sinful child like you to go against. No wonder the monster clings to her like he does. Her innocence makes even him feel clean. But you aren't clean, are you, Kagura? You're dirty." He glared at me. "You're beyond cleansing."
Tears began to drip down my cheeks, but I couldn't stop them no matter how badly I wanted to. Akito looked at me indifferently, as if annoyed with my childish behavior. But I couldn't stop it.
"Stop pitying yourself," he stated. "You really are selfish. Such a selfish child. I don't know why your mother even tries to love someone as sinful as you. Even a monster would refuse to be with someone so dirty."
"Stop it!" I cried desperately, trying to hide my exposed feelings. "You can't judge me!"
Akito stepped towards me menacingly and dealt a swift slap to my cheek.
"How dare you tell me what to do," he hissed. "You're lucky I concern myself with a selfish child like you." Then he leaned back and sighed, rubbing his head in exasperation. "Leave me now. I am sick of your company."
I stood up obediently and left the room. My whole body shook as I awkwardly walked outside. I lifted my tear-streaked face upward and felt a raindrop fall down onto my cheek. Rain. How fitting that I'd forget to bring an umbrella today. Too tired and weary to do anything else, I simply stood there, letting the falling rain soak me with its tears. My wet brown hair clung to my face and I closed my eyes, letting my emotions run wild. I couldn't speak. I couldn't think. I could only let the rain wash over me.
And then, I heard it. The sound was faint amid the pouring raindrops, but I heard it. The distinctive sound of a violin. My legs nervously started towards the sound until I saw a Sohma house with a lit room. Inside, a young blonde man was playing the violin. A man I knew, oh, very well.
I leaned against the frame of the doorway and watched Momiji handle the bow effortlessly, his movements fluid and elegant. The sweet and intoxicating sound that came from the violin echoed in my ears. It was paralyzingly sweet and sad, a mix of beauty coupled with sorrow.
I listened for what seemed like hours to the enticing melody before he saw me. The bow fell from his hands and his large brown eyes widened in concern as he opened the door.
"Kagura? You're all wet," he exclaimed. I didn't respond and just let my lightless eyes bore into his.
"Are you okay? Did Akito do something to you?" he asked me urgently, no doubt referring to the mark on my cheek.
"Momiji…" I murmured. No longer caring, I let my tears flow down my cheeks at will, colliding with the raindrops of the night. Before long I was sobbing to the point where I couldn't stop.
The boy caught me as I collapsed into his arms, crying hysterically. He stiffened at my touch, but he didn't let go.
"It's okay, Kagura," he whispered as I buried my head into his pink blouse. He held me awkwardly, unused to the strange feeling of having someone in his arms.
"I'm so sorry," I cried hoarsely. "All I ever do is hurt those who care about me. All I do is think about myself. I'm so selfish! I'm so selfish to think I could be loved!"
"But you are loved, Kagura," Momiji insisted, putting his arm tighter around me. "No matter what, you can't forget that you're loved. No matter what Akito says. I tell myself that all the time, too."
"You don't understand…" I sobbed. Looking up, I stared into his usually laughing eyes. But inside them wasn't the childish light I was accustomed to. Instead, there shone a lonely and weary understanding.
Could it be that he was feeling the same way? Could we both have been wearing masks the whole time?
"I'm just…so terrible, aren't I?" I whispered. "I'm relying on you. Just like I do with everyone. I'm throwing my dirty self on you to make my problems go away."
"We all do that," he assured me.
"But I don't deserve it," I protested. "All I want is to find that one person I can open myself up to, the one person who can accept me and my dirty self! Someone who could…love me."
"Don't worry," Momiji told me. "I'm looking for that one person, too."
I looked away in shame as my eyes began to overflow again with tears. He turned my head towards him again and smiled.
"It's alright," Momiji whispered. "You can cry on me."