Epilogue

Exactly nine months later, Mark stood next to his raven-haired daughter as she smiled up at him.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked her.

"Yes, Dad." she replied. "And I'm so happy that Mum could be here to see it."

The pair walked out into the expectant crowd, a radiant Princess smiling at the sight of her nervous groom. Jason was tugging anxiously at his powder blue tuxedo, but his face took on a look of awe as he saw his Swan.

Reluctantly placing Princess' hand into the Condor's, Mark slipped into his assigned seat next to Jun.

"Don't they make a cute couple?" Jun gushed.

"Baby… Princess looks exactly like you!" Mark protested.

"Yes, I know…" Jun smiled dreamily. "I always wondered what it would be like to shag a Condor…"

Mark couldn't take it anymore. He embraced Jun and kissed her passionately.

"Did I say, Condor?" Jun gasped, "What would I want with a Condor when I have such a magnificent Eagle?"

Now this was the way things were supposed to be. Mark was actually able to relax as the ceremony began.

It wasn't too much longer until the minister concluded the ritual and announced that the groom should kiss his bride.

At that moment, an angry youth stormed up the aisle, brandishing a giant laser weapon.

"Die!" he screamed, as the bridal party dove for cover.

"You made my father run away!" Keyop screamed, "And now you're going to pay!"

"Damnit! I knew I should have worn a transmuting wedding gown!" complained Princess.

"Well, it's a good thing that at least one of us is prepared for marriage!" grinned Jason, pulling off his blue, satin bowtie.

"Tie Rang!" he cried, spinning the accessory with a flick of his wrist and throwing it expertly toward Keyop's head.

The bowtie hit its mark, and the youth slumped to the ground, moaning in pain.

"Vait! Keyop!" shouted a blond woman running up the aisle. "Zis is not vat I vanted! You need to stop!"

"Frau Mala?" cried Mark. "What are you doing here?"

The frantic woman ignored the Eagle in her attempt to reach her nephew. She grabbed his arm, but Keyop threw her hand off of his body as he used his remaining strength to aim him laser gun at the closest target… Jun.

Jun glanced down at the corsage Mark had given her. In the middle was one perfect rose. Quickly pulling the flower out, she threw it with pinpoint accuracy.

A cloud of green gas surged out of the rose's stem, overwhelming Keyop and Mala. Zoltar's sister collapsed to the floor.

Mark looked at Jun. Her eyes were shining as she threw her arms around his neck.

"You got me the perfect corsage. You always know just what I need." she sighed happily. "I love you."

Mark claimed Jun's lips in a passionate kiss.

"Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?" he whispered huskily in her ear.

"Well… it is our daughter's wedding…" Jun appeared to be torn. "But maybe we could slip out for a few minutes…" she smiled invitingly at her husband.

"No… Keyop…" Mala groaned, "Don't hurt your mozer…"

Mark turned his head toward Zoltar's sister, his eyes flashing.

"What did you say?" he cried.

"Brrrt… did you say… mother?" Keyop moaned hopefully.

"Yes…" Mala shook her head, trying to clear away the lingering effects of the gas. "She is your mozer… Zat is vat I vas trying to tell you ven you ran in here vaving zat gun…"

"Mother?" cried Mark in astonishment. His arms fell from Jun's waist, and he looked at his wife in disbelief.

"No… this can't be happening…" he whispered.

Smack!

Jun's hand had flashed out and made contact with the Eagle's cheek.

"How dare you!" she cried angrily, "You actually think that I would ever shag that purple-faced goon?"

"But… she said…" Mark pointed helplessly at Mala while rubbing his cheek with his other hand. Damn, that slap had hurt.

"No… you don't understand…" Mala tried to explain. "Ven Jun vas in zee hospital, giving birf to your daughter… Galaktor sent an agent to kollect a sample of her DNA… Ve thought it might be useful later…"

"Go on, Auntie Mala…" Keyop said softly. He seemed surprised, but not displeased with this turn of events.

"Ven ve created zee Doktor's son, ve needed a voman's DNA as vell… and I remembered zee Svan's sample…"

"Brrt… so… you really are… doot… my mother!" cried Keyop joyfully. "Mommy!"

The youth leapt up and ran over to Jun, gripping her tightly around the waist.

"My son…" Jun smiled, tears in her eyes.

"What kind of crazy family am I marrying into?" muttered Jason, as Princess smacked the back of his head.

"I think it's beautiful!" she sniffed.

Princess ran over to her mother and Keyop.

"I have a brother!" she exclaimed, embracing them both.

Mark came out of his shocked silence.

"I…"

Everyone turned to look at the Eagle.

"I… I'm proud to welcome you to the family, son." he said to Keyop, ruffling his hair.

The youth grinned back at him.

"Brrrt… feels great… to have… doot… a family…" he replied happily.

88888

The wedding reception had turned into a double celebration of the Eagle's newly expanded family. Mark, Jun, Jason, Princess, Keyop and Frau Mala sat together as the bridal couple opened their gifts.

"I… I haf somezink for you as vell…" Mala said to Princess. "It is a family heirloom, but I thought zat in honor of our new family…" She undid the clasp of her necklace and gently placed it into Princess' hand.

Princess looked down at the delicate gold chain, and the beautifully carved emerald pendant. It had been cut in the shape of… 7-Zark-7?

"Why, Mala!" she cried, "It's beautiful!" as she placed it around her neck. "Thank you!" she said warmly, placing a kiss on Mala's cheek.

"It vas nozink…" Mala blushed.

"I have a gift for you as well." Mark interrupted, handing a box to his daughter. "I hope… it comes in handy."

Princess tore open the beautifully wrapped package to reveal… a chastity belt. Jason's eyes flared.

"What the hell are you thinking, man?" he raged at the Eagle. "A chastity belt?"

Suddenly, the Condor began to laugh.

"Well," he drawled, "I guess it beats the Swedish Penis Enlarger that I gave you as a wedding gift!"

"Swedish…" Jun looked confused, for just a moment. "Honey, you said that was a bong!"

With five pairs of eyes on him, Mark desperately looked around for a distraction.

"Uh… would anyone like some wedding cake?" he asked nervously.

"Di' someone say, cake?"

"Tiny!" Mark said, relieved, "In the nick of time, as always!"

"Huh… I jes wanted some cake…" the Fat Bird replied.

"Let's all have some cake." added Princess, trying to ease tensions. But as everyone else got up from the table, she held the Condor back.

"And now…" she smiled, a mischievous gleam in her eye, "I think it's time we got started on our honeymoon."

"Whatever you want, Baby." Jason grinned as they slipped out of the reception hall.

"Then, let's get out of here…" Princess whispered slyly, fingering her Zark necklace and dropping it onto the grass.

The green pendant rolled and shook upon the ground. It grew bigger and bigger until it was about the size of the Phoenix minibus.

"Why… it's an escape pod!" Jason said in astonishment. "But how did you know…. ?"

"A Swan has to keep some secrets…" Princess whispered alluringly, as she entered the Zark-shaped ship.

The Condor swiftly followed, tossing the chastity belt onto the ground behind him. He knew he had made the right choice in his bride.

She truly was an Intergalactic Bird of Mystery.