Disclaimer & A/N: I don't own anything, but I wish I owned Hyde. This fic will hopefully be a little happier than what I usually write… I hate being angsty all the time, b/c it's not me, but it's my darn muses. So, my muses were nice to me this time… I'm not quite sure if I liked how this turned out, but let me know what you think...
Everything You Want
"Steven, I need to know we have a future together…" "Don't say I don't know. Say anything but I don't know…"
Hyde had heard it for so long now, it was driving him crazy. Jackie wanted to get married. She wanted a future with him. She couldn't be happy with what they had because Hyde wouldn't promise her a wedding and a house and kids.
Sometimes Hyde wished he could promise her a future. He really did. But his family was so… scary. He'd grown up in a house where there was constant yelling and threats. And both of his parents had left him. So why should he believe in marriage?
But all of Jackie's begging and pleading was beginning to get to him. Especially when she told him that if he didn't do something soon, then they couldn't be together. Because the last thing he wanted was to lose the best thing that ever happened to him.
He thought about it long and hard, and no matter how hard he tried, doubt kept creeping into his mind. "You're not good enough for her… She deserves so much better." His mind wouldn't quit echoing with those words. Jackie was too good for him.
She deserved a man who could give her a future. She deserved someone who could promise her a beautiful house with a white picket fence and five kids, and a damn good way of life. And he wasn't that guy.
But for God's sake, he wanted to be. He wanted so much to see her eyes light up… to see her face if he could ever bring himself to ask her to be his wife. But… that whole wife thing… hadn't worked out. He hated himself for not bucking up and asking her.
He'd once told Red and Kitty that he wasn't afraid of anything. But that was a lie. He was afraid of losing Jackie… But at the same time, he was afraid that if she stayed with him, he'd only break her heart, and he wasn't sure which was worse.
He'd seen Jackie cry. He'd had his heart ripped out by the tears glistening in her eyes… They were two different colors… It always struck him as really sexy that they were… But when there were tears in them, it sucked. And when the tears were his fault, it sucked even more. He didn't want to make her cry like his dad… or the man he'd thought was his dad… had done to his mom. Everyone thought Edna Hyde was a cold hard bitch, but Steven knew better. He'd seen her lying in the floor, drowning in beer and tears. And he'd be damned if Jackie ever did that. He didn't want to be Bud Hyde. But he didn't want to lose Jackie either, dammit.
He'd tried for so long to stay Zen, to keep that straight, hard face that showed no emotion. He didn't want her to know that it broke him down every time she asked about getting married.
He'd always believed that he didn't have a future. And now, Jackie wanted him to promise that he'd not only have a future of his own, but that he'd be able to provide her with one.
But then again… He found himself thinking of what it would be like to prove them all wrong. He wondered what his mom would think of him if she ever came back to find him married with a good life.
He couldn't marry her for that, though. He couldn't do it just to show them all that he could. He had to do it because he loved her, and that was all there was to it.
And he did love her. He'd never loved anyone like he loved her. And he wanted to make her happy. So why not?
Sure, it would scare the hell out of him. He'd been scared a long time that this would happen. With all the other girls, it had been different… He'd had sex with other girls… Sex that didn't mean anything, and he liked it that way. He'd been scared that one day, there would be a girl who would make him fall in love. He hated the very thought of it. Love was for pansies like Eric. Not guys like him. But now that he was with Jackie, the thought of her being with someone else didn't just piss him off like it might have with someone else… The thought of her with someone else made him feel like he'd been sucker-punched in the stomach. He hated that thought more than anything.
And he decided, then and there that he'd be damned if he let Bud and Edna rob him of his one chance to be happy. He'd be damned if he hurt Jackie because of his own fear.
Sure, his parents had royally screwed up their marriage. But that didn't mean that marriage couldn't work. He could only smile when he thought of how much Red and Kitty still loved each other. Maybe he and Jackie could be like Red and Kitty instead of Bud and Edna… Maybe he had a chance to be better than them.
He made up his mind. He was going to make Jackie the happiest damn lady in the world, and no parents of his were going to screw it up for him.
Now, he just needed to figure out how he was gonna do this thing.
One morning a few days after Hyde made his decision, Donna was over at the Forman's hanging out with Eric. Eric had to go to the bathroom, so Hyde made his way over to the couch and sat down beside Donna. "What's up, Hyde?" she asked, smiling at her friend.
"Um… Donna, man, you gotta help me out with somethin'," he said, his voice sounding almost desperate.
"O… K…?" Donna looked confused at Hyde's random attack of desperation.
"Listen, I need you to help me pick out something for Jackie… It's kinda important, and I have to do it really soon." He looked her in the eye trying to help her get the idea of where he was going with this.
Donna still looked confused. Hyde was beginning to wonder if the bleach she'd used on her hair had soaked in a little. "Um… Hyde, help me out here? I can't help you pick something out for Jackie if I don't know what you have in mind."
"Donna," he said, already frustrated. He didn't like for people to see this side of him, but he needed her help, because there was no way in hell Hyde was going to give Jackie a ring she'd hate. "I wanna get Jackie a ring, OK?"
"A ring?" Donna asked, eyes widening. "You mean, like, an…"
"Yes, like an engagement ring," he said. "But so help me, Donna, if you say a word to anybody, I will freakin' kill you."
Donna grinned. "Sure, Hyde. I'll help ya out."
"Thanks, man," he said, standing up and walking toward the door. "Um… I'll see you tonight then?"
"Sure," she replied. "Eric and I are going to the movies at 9, so if you wanna go to the mall about 7ish, that's cool."
He nodded and walked out of the room.
That evening, Hyde and Donna went into every jewelry store in Point Place and Kenosha together. Donna pointed out a ton of rings that would have been great for Jackie, but Hyde didn't want great. He wanted perfect. He wanted something that would make Jackie smile for days. He wanted something that, as Fez would say, would get him "Lots of lovin'." And most of all, he wanted something that would make up for all the time Jackie had been hoping and praying and begging and pleading for him to make her his wife.
He finally found it. Donna pointed it out to him, but he thought it was exactly right for Jackie. Not huge, because Jackie was tiny… She had the smallest hands, and he wanted the ring to look right at home on her hand. Thinking that way made him feel like a girl, however, and he didn't show his enthusiasm to Donna. Instead, he said, "Yeah… That's cool." He told the guy behind the counter which one he wanted and Donna told him the size. The guy put it in a box and handed it to Hyde, who paid the ungodly sum of money the ring cost, and put it in his pocket. Jackie was going to love it.
Now, he just had to give it to her… And that was going to be the really hard part.
That night, Hyde spent most of the night tossing and turning in bed, trying to think of the perfect words to say to Jackie… He wanted everything to be like what she was hoping for. He rolled over so many times, wishing that he was more romantic just this once. He could express his hatred of the government like a professional speaker, so why couldn't he express his love for Jackie that well?
He sat up in bed and dug under the mattress for the bag he had hidden there. He rolled himself a joint and smoked it. It was a little weird smoking by himself, but for God's sake if he didn't get chilled out, he was going to go stark raving mad.
He got rid of the remains of the joint before rolling over and falling into a fitful sleep. God, he had to get this thing over with.
The next day, the whole gang was gathered in the basement. Hyde knew that he had to ask Jackie today. He just knew. He was just waiting for the right time. But with everyone there, he didn't have a freaking clue when the right time would be. Rolling his eyes, he stood up and looked at Jackie. "Hey, Jackie… I left somethin' in the El Camino. Come out with me to get it, huh?"
He noticed Donna's smile out of the corner of his eye, and had to call on his Zen to avoid the same smile on his face.
Jackie stood up, looking confused. "Steven, is everything OK?"
"Yeah, Jackie, everything's fine… Just come on…" He had no freaking clue how he was gonna get through this. But he was. He patted his pocket to make sure the box was still there.
Jackie started toward the door, Hyde following with his hand on the small of her back. He went out of his way to make her feel special, opened the door for her, and everything. He went around to the other side and climbed in.
"Steven, baby, what did you need out of the car?" she asked, confusion clearly painted across her flawless features.
He grinned at her. "Nothin'. I just wanted to take a ride with you. Wanted to get away from the basement."
Jackie looked confused. Steven loved the basement. It was like home for him. Maybe he just wanted to go make out or something. Which, she would not complain about, but still. It was weird for Steven to make a big production out of leaving to make out.
He cranked the car, smiling as the engine came to life. The El Camino was his baby. He loved the car, and he always got some kind of rush from the power underneath him when he fired it up.
Jackie sighed. "Steven, where are we going?" she asked, her tone almost pouty.
"Would you just chill?" he said, looking at her. "I promise, you'll like it."
He drove down the road to the old path where all of them had parked at one time or another.
"Steven," she demanded. "This is not some special place. We've been here a million times." She'd thought that maybe they were going to do something really special, but here they were at their same old make out spot. This was stupid.
"Jackie," he said, "I swear to you, you'll be smiling when I'm done."
She rolled her eyes and huffed a little, thinking that he was talking about making out or having sex. "Steven…" she began again.
"Jackie, stop talking for a minute, dammit. I have to talk to you about something." He was beginning to get frustrated. He'd gotten built up for this thing, and if it didn't happen, he was going to be very, very pissed.
Jackie looked shocked, but abruptly shut her mouth.
And for the first time in his life, Hyde could not think of a damn thing to say. He sat there quietly for a minute or two before he finally remembered what he'd been planning to say. "Jackie," he began, trying to make the words sound right. "I… I know you want me to promise you a future and everything… I know that you want to know that I'm going to be with you forever and stuff like that, and I want to make you happy, Jackie. I really do…" He sighed. That had taken a lot out of the closed-off man that was Steven Hyde. He had never talked to anyone like this before. But then again, no one else had mattered like this.
He stopped for a minute, to collect his thoughts, then he moved on. "Now, Jackie… I want to promise you all the things you want. But I can't promise you that until you know for sure what you're getting into. My parents were stupid jerks, Jackie… They fought all the time, and I can't promise you that I'm nothing like them… I mean, most kids are a lot like their parents, y'know? And…" He was struggling, begging his brain for the right words.
"But anyway, Jackie… I want you to know that if you can accept that I'm who I am… which is somebody that's probably gonna say the stupidest stuff you ever heard in your life… Somebody who's gonna hurt you without meaning to sometimes… Jackie, if you can accept that, then…" He fumbled in his pocket, taking the box out. "Then I want you to marry me."
Jackie's eyes were completely round by the time Hyde finished saying what he was saying. By the time he opened the box, and she saw the ring, she was already in tears. "Oh, my God, Steven, do you mean it?"
He nodded. "Come on, Jackie, do you think I would have gone and bought that ring for you if I wasn't serious?" He was trying to revert back to his hard-ass side. But the smile on Jackie's face wouldn't let him. She took the ring out of the box and slid it on her finger. "Steven, it's the perfect size… How'd you know?"
Hyde shrugged. "I guess I'm just smart like that, huh?"
And the next thing he knew, Hyde was pinned against his door, with Jackie's arms around him, and the best damn kiss she'd ever given him pressed to his lips. He grinned. Yep, that ring was the one. He was definitely getting lots of lovin' tonight.
By the time they got back, Hyde's face and neck had a rather impressive display of lipstick. He walked back into the basement, a stupid grin on his face.
For once, he was satisfied. He was making Jackie happy. She'd been making him happy for a long time, and she deserved to be happy, too.
As they walked in, Jackie squealed with delight. "Guys!" she exclaimed. "Look!" She was holding up her left hand so everyone could see the ring. "Donna!" she exclaimed, squeezing onto the couch between Fez and Donna. "Look at this! Steven and I are engaged."
Hyde sat down in his chair, content just to watch Jackie's face as she told everyone that they were engaged.
"Did I hear her right, Hyde?" Eric asked, looking at his friend. "You're getting married?"
Hyde half-way smiled at his friend. "Yeah, man… Go figure."
"Isn't the ring just perfect, Donna?" Jackie was asking, as Donna examined it closely as if she'd never seen it.
"Yeah… Perfect," she said, sneaking a quick glance at Hyde, who simply shrugged.
"Steven did such a good job," Jackie said, proudly looking from Hyde to the ring. "It's just… Just perfect!"
She stood up and walked over to Hyde, sitting down on his lap. He slipped his arms around her tiny waist and smiled, resting his chin on her shoulder.
Marriage didn't look so scary anymore. It couldn't be. Not with someone who loved him as much as Jackie did. He would never, ever hurt her. He was not going to be his dad. He was his own man. And his own man was going to make Jackie the happiest woman in the world.
As the gang slowly left, one by one, Jackie stayed, resting her head on Steven's shoulder. It was only a little while after the rest of them were gone that Hyde realized that his girlfriend… fiancée… was asleep. He smiled as he stood up, carefully holding her close to him. He carried her into his room and put her in bed, crawling in beside her. And then it hit him… For the rest of his life, he would be falling asleep and waking up beside Jackie. And that didn't sound like too bad a life to him.